Happiness is letting someone make you the villain
2008-12-13
Happiness is letting someone make you the villain.
- When I was making my record, I hired a bassist. But listening back to his tracks afterwards, I decided to play bass myself instead. I'm glad I did, and love the results. But I hear he still hates me, 13 years later.
- A writer in LA loved CD Baby, and kept insisting I hire him as a consultant, clearly wanting the association. After his many requests and my many refusals, he threatened to tell everyone CD Baby was a scam unless I hired him. I didn't pay, so he's been slamming me publicly for years now.
- Some ex-girlfriends and ex-colleagues hate me. Some people I've never met write pages on their blog about how much they hate me.
Funny thing is : I'm happy to be the villain they need.
Some people can only feel right by making someone else wrong.
I know I'm doing good helpful work. I'm so filled with love that nothing gets me down. So I guess if anyone should be the villain, it should be me!
It doesn't bother me, and noticing it doesn't bother me reminds me how happy I really am.
So, bring it on, anyone. Project your frustrations on to me. I'm happy to be that for whoever needs it.
What about when you're really insecure about yourself?
I just watched The Dark Night after a gig last night... similar message. Did you Netflix it too?
This idea sounds like an extreme of the "exclude people" idea, which I really like. Good thoughts.
Derek -- This world could use more villains like you.
I got my first hate comment on my blog yesterday, and felt great about for the same reasons that you outline here.
I think you know that you're doing something right if someone doesn't like it.
-CD
You know they say villians are like assholes, everybody's got one.
My man, if you're a villain, that I don't ever want to be a hero. :V
When I was 11, my hamster died. His name was Winston. I blame you.
So, how do you get into a state of mind where being villainized doesn't bother you, as opposed to making you sad and paranoid?
I can agree...Heroes usually learn this the hard way.
Same here good bud. 90% of the people I've worked with love what we've accomplished together. 10% want to blame their failure on me. I'll take the blame. It's my fault you dont have a hit record.
Your the greatest D
Mike Admani
there's always a "fight" to make dreams come true-there's always a struggle to succeed! If there's no struggle, there's no success; just a free ride. Struggle/opposition usually come in the form of "people"! My Dad said, "it doesn't matter what people say; just keep'em talkin'" If you know your motives a pure-the critics don't count.
I agree to the extent that is necessary--yes, conformity for it's own sake is weak and turns you into a sad, whiny doormat. But many people hear, "be a villian" and thing it means, "be a prick." Which is completely untrue.
If there's one thing you and I will certainly agree on, Derek, it's the critical nature of having friends. In the business, I mean. Grassroots marketing is the prime means of marketing in the independent world. We don't have the advantage of television commercials and product placement.
A real break for us is charming Alexandra Patsavas' obnoxious secretary into falling madly in love with us so that we can get a ten-second snippet of an instrumental section of our song in Gossip Girl, a show which we happen to despise.
I realize that real happiness can never come from compromise of our integrity, but isn't there an inherent need to sacrifice our own wants to get the help of that bassist in the future? That's a bad example of course, but think of Dick Rowe and his rejection of the Beatles. Some kind of villianization there.
- Stephen Cope
http://songwritten.org
http://myspace.com/stephencope
Unfortunately, there are people out there who see happiness in a person and feel that that happiness belongs to them. The sad part is they do nothing to create happiness for themselves, so they think they can take it from someone else. It takes a lot to stand strong against that.
Adding to Pat B.'s comment: The major shortcoming with the mindset Pat describes is that those folks don't realize that the amount of happiness, love, etc. is infinite. It isn't as if there is a fixed amount and only certain people get a piece of the pie.
you're absolutely right. the critics always dog the train of the achievers. we should all be so fortunate to be criticized publicly!! (well, to a point...)
thanks for the posts Derek! ck
I have a similar outlook. I have become the villain for many people upset about my blog regarding Travis Meeks of Days of the New.
http://blog.myspace.com/hypotheticaltheory
It's caused a few people to point blame at me due to the racist and rude comments made by a drug-addicted rock star in Minneapolis.
I love the comment where you state, "Some people can only feel right by making someone else wrong." So true...so true...
-Devlin.
@Tog
I believe you just realize that others "villainizing" you is merely their envy, greed & jealousy for not being as happy as you or thinking of an idea you came up with.
"Rock-Star-Entitlement" types are how I classify them.
Saw Derek on a Youtube vid and he seems just happy and meek, humble. Very good qualities for someone as successful as him to have.
Really love these articles you write, so so much: ≥
Derek - You are the villain that did more for my craft, directly and indirectly, than any non-villain ever has. It is fantastic to see that you understand their problems are not yours and give a nice perspective that even I (a "go-to person" on perspective) learned something from. Keep sharing!
I like this one Derek!
Many people who can't be arsed themselves, will resent it when others are trying their very best to lead a constructive and honest life.
Their efforts to try and bring the "villain" down are pathetic and undignified to say the least and their attitude is often a product of jealousy.
I've met many people like that and one of them is my brother... we don't talk anymore!
I feel the only thing we can do is be Love on a consistent basis, you know--the BIG Love Give people the benefit of the doubt. Don't judge. Be the love you want to see in the world and it will show up around you.
Works for me, when I remember.
Kitzie Stern
Love this post,
It is amazing how many people hate you because you are truly happy doing what you do. They can't find their way and get upset. We can show the door but they have to walk through.
Thanks again
Erik
Perhaps, you know you're effective and helpful WHEN someone (or more) seem compelled to demonize?
I guess these folks just HAD to carry out their threats? Glad it hasn't stopped you!
cheers
Thanks for shedding this life-changing light. I can now welcome all the haters!
I secretly loathe you! Therefore I am NOT going to make you my villain, you are now my ally, this will ensure your unhappiness! ahahahahahahaaa!!
Derek, what you write here is a great way of keeping your own integrity. Then you definitely deserve that nothing and nobody can harm you and you are happy
It's a reflection on how empty is somebody's life when they spend so much energy hating someone else's life.
Ah, yes, some of us are electrons (-), some of us are protons (+) and still more are neutrons. I guess we're all needed for the balance of existence to be... but I'd still rather be a proton too.
Sometimes when one is walking the path that is true for themselves - they are not easily manipulated. Politics being what it is - these brave ones become the villains simply because they choose to live out their realities not based on what they "should" do to get ahead - but rather on what they believe is right.
Well, Tim, I guess that makes me a neuron
Some people are NOT good at being happy and resent it when they have the opportunity. Taking away their license to whine is a cruel thing for some.
Derek they don't like your because your are successful.
I find that I get resistance to some works that I do. But I find it fuels my creativity.
It sounds like you've read Big Mind Big Heart by Genpo Merzel, Roshi...
DG
Seriously, Derek... who's cooler than you? You evil man, you... ;-)
It's taken me some time to get to that space. It's been most difficult when, a couple of times, I've gotten cd reviews that are aggressively, bitterly negative. I pity someone that would spend time writing something flatly mean about someone who's simply made a cd and sent it to them. ...And I won't even mention the ex-boyfriends who resent my passion for work and devotion to music. People often dislike it when you won't be what they want you to be.
It's good to know you can take the heat and be the fall-guy though, Derek. If I do begin to falter, I'll write you a scathing letter next cruel review I get : )
This quote couldn't come at a better time.
It's a wonderful feeling to be passionate, and to feel unstoppable. It's wonderful to LIVE! Opposition need not affect your work.
Funny thing is that I've found accepting the blame, whether I deserve it or not actually defuses a problem and often, though not always makes me less of a villain.
Cause egos being what they will, no one wants to be wrong. But if you don't care, well there's no point in getting into that fight/argument in the first place.
But maybe saying, "bring it on" is kind of asking for it ...
Anyway, keep up doing what you're doing.
In "The Road Less Traveled" by Scott Peck, there's a discussion of how the neurotic person blames everything that goes wrong on themselves and the psychotic person blames everything on someone else. So there are some people who always need to find someone to blame and will never take personal responsibility. He also says how even a neurotic person can still manage to have healthy relationships and be a loving person, but a psychotic person won't be able to. Of course, the ideal is to be able to accurately assess when something is your responsibility and let go of feeling it's your responsibility when it isn't.
What a generous offer, Derek--I will now hold you responsible for my car's "check engine" light always coming on, my inability to dunk, and the death of my goldfish in 3rd grade. You are, indeed, a bad, bad man...
Seriously, though, being "right" is highly overrated. :]
How can you write such crap you bald scum bag !
Just trying to make you happy...
Probably happier would be more right... ;o)
I've noticed that if you're going to be truly successful... you've got to have a pretty thick skin.
You have a great attitude.
Derek,
Ok, the timing of this blog is incredible.
I just got an email yesterday from someone who was "upset" with me and how I run my business...and the irony is that these emails always seem to come after something in my business is going extremely well.
At the end of the day, it seems like the more successful we become, the more that brings out the petty side of people's personalities. It's really sad actually. The petty and jealous nature of it.
I know how you feel because no matter how much you try to ignore people's comments, even if they are 100% off base, we're still people with feelings.
I read something recently that said if someone is angry or taking out their anger/frustration on you, you should really just feel sorry for them because they are dealing with their own demons and issues.
I think that's true!
As for that "writer" of whom you speak, well, anyone that blackmails or bribes another person and goes to such extreme lengths is clearly jealous of your success. I think I told you this over dinner but it's true.
Any time you need to vent you know my number
Maybe each time someone does something bad to us or says something untrue or what not, I think we should just give ourselves a pat on the back because it must mean we've reached yet another milestone with our business or in our lives that has pissed off someone else.
Plus, it's just bad manners and bad karma what other people are doing.
You're a good person Derek. I think you and I both know that!
Jennifer
Don't think you're a villain: you defended your interests and don't think you hurt someone willing to hurt them...
I think that to be too good is bad for ourselves: an example...
A couple of weeks ago a guy invited me to his gig and gave me his new CD for having my impressions about (meanwhile I gave him mine).
I listened carefully to it and I made a really insightful extra-extended review, pointing out the pros and cons of his work... and everything really politely!
Well, the guy didn't like it and never replied....
Guess who's the villain...
with 42 comments like this so far it's hard to believe that you could resemble a villian. Head high, happy heart
It's always a step backward in denial, when "It's not my fault" becomes "It's your fault."
P.S. My producer does my bass lines. I had to nix my own, so now I hate myself.
I've learned to keep some opinions to myself, or else apply the fine art of "spin": when asked for an opinion on a CD that I find odious, I'll find something that will be perceived as positive ("I really LOVE the artwork!")("The production is mad loud!") ("These songs are intense.")
Derek,
you're always the coolest guy around!!!
ciao from Italia
Franco
Wow. I got this horrendous review after 3 years and untold thousands of dollars (all I had) to put together a CD that got great reviews in general from other people. This one reviewer made me so upset I literally considered giving up music or even, well, life (sorry, but I did). Your article is SO great Derek. I've since been told this guy has slammed other artists I really respect, is inconsistent generally and a troubled soul. His vicious review is still out there on Google forever (a drag for booking purposes!!) but your article REALLY gave me some perspective -- about ex-partners (romantic and otherwise who now refuse to even be civil, etc.), as well. It seems to come down to, some people love you if you give them what they want, and if you don't give them what THEY want, they don't love you and even want to, well, punish you. Sad, but your comments are a great way to see it. THANKS for your insights always.
Yessss.
It also helps when confidence comes with a brain (or something of equal value). One without another is orphaned, and I don't know which one's worse - a shy genius or a confident fool. I discovered this treasure not too long ago, and the fact that doesn't cease to piss me off is that girls somehow get even more compliance crap shoved into their systems and it does take a good kick in the butt to shake it off. Even now, you know what makes me guilty every so often - when I walk into a group of people fussing around in their little world (that is nevertheless quite valid - just not big enough for me) - I want to apologize for my living in the sky. Now, that is truly screwed up.
(I put a link to a long rant on the subject as my website link) - to be polite. I don't mind being polite to you, haha.
And as far as music - who said that "industry people" are anything else but people who go home to their wives and bills every night? And who probably wanted to be rock stars (and some were successful at that....) How many times did I see a panel disagree on a song...how many times did I hear somebody important trash a piece (say, mine), and then somebody even more important text me compliments on the same piece. Blah, blah, blah...
Yep, sounds like you just watched The Dark Knight.
I've been wanting to write a song thanking all the people who said I'd never make it, who didn't think I was good enough, who ignored me as I worked through the process of trying to sell/promote my music.
I adopted the old "I'll show them" attitude. Their negativity fueled my desire to succeed mostly so I could prove to myself that I could do it.
Now, in my middle years, I don't feel I have to "prove" myself anymore (it really did take a lot of energy!) I do what I love to do and am following my passion. It's amazing how many positive things come your way when you live your life positively.
Great article Derek. Thanks.
Dear Derek!
Great post!
When one becomes authentic, he becomes more and more like a mirror. People see themselves in it, and everything they hate about themselves. Hence the attacking.
There is this story of a man who walked up to buddha and spit im in the face. One of buddha's desciples wanted to jump at the man, but buddha said something like: I'm rally thankful that you came and spit in my face, because it shows me if I'm still attached. A year before, your action might have hurt me and would have made me angry. But today I simply sit in peace.
It does not trigger any reaction"
I'm doing a series of videos that I call Morning Tune Ups. Little pieces of improvised music to greet the new day.
(108 so far ) I get many nice comments, but sometimes there is a very insulting, hate filled comment. I always feel a little hurt when I read a negative, offensive comment.
Then I tell myself that everybody has the right to comment the way he wants and that everything is perfect the way it is. Awareness is the key. That is real freedom.
My Morning Tune Ups are here:
http://sexyguitar.blogspot.com
Yea, I was just thinking about how much you bugged me....
Thanks for affirming a feeling I had this morning. My trio mates(who are also family) like to make me the bad guy who thwarts their goals by "making them play." I don't make them, of course. They choose. But they often use our bookings to excuse all the things they don't do in life. You just gave me the reason why I didn't lash back at them this morning. If they need a bad guy to feel right, I guess I'm it.
So cool...! Great blog..Wow you just 'allow' life and go with the flow..I have several friends whose lives seemingly won't work unless they are creating power struggles..they seemingly can't 'do life' without power struggles..So I accept them 'as is' BUT get out of their friggin ways!
I'm more of the 'go with the flow' type persona.
I once lent a tape deck to a friend to record a show (hardcore/college basement) I was unable to get to. At the show, another guy got hold of the device and got 20-30 people to record "Aaron sucks!" on it. I had no idea I meant so much to that guy.
I hate myself, therefore I love myself.
The paradox of yin & yang eh?
I'd rather be happy then right.
All misery derives from the inability to sit in a quiet room alone.
In my experience, people looking to villanize someone else are generally looking for a fight or ego inflation by deflating someone else. Simply, they’re insecure.
If one is secure with themselves and who they are, (To Thine Self Be True) being a villain doesn't matter. Of course this may apply to sociopaths as well.
hahaha that totally just made my morning! Long live the villain!
Derek I learn from my mother that an empty wagon always make a lot of noise. I am grateful to have a friend like you who keep’s on moving forward no matter what the haters my say. Derek remember success always come with persecution
Worthy goal for those of us who are learning not to care what ppl think - I've learned the hard way that if I give in to what goes against my own inner conviction then it doesn't go well anyway! Better to put my own sensibilities first, others' opionions and desires second. Glad to hear you validate that.
on being a villian:
one of my mentors once told me;
"a leader is someone who can hold the projections of others until they're ready top take them back."
i've found it to be true, that the happier and more powerful i'm feeling, the more (some) others seem to want to bring me down, strange.
there was another story i read, analagous to human nature, about crabs. the crabs freely swim into the traps, but it's hard to get back out. when one crab actually tries to escape, the others will pull it back down into the pile of crabs. if the free spirit tries to escape again, the other crabs will actuall start pulling off it's legs and claws until it quits.
ouch!
right on derek - i mean you suck!
Although I play a villian in my band, I really hate it when people make me a villain. Not that I try to make everyone happy, but I try really hard to be fair. I try to keep things fair. I've had to let go band members, because their personal problems were causing problems for the band, and that wasn't fair. When someone's bad attitude about the band is making me physically ill, I've had to fire them, because it wasn't fair to me, or the band. It's all about balance, no? So far, I've always found Derek to be a fair person.
Excellent Derek! May I add some related quotes?
"You wouldn't worry about what people think, if you knew how seldom they do"
- anonymous
"Don't worry about what the neighbors think, because they don't"
- Earl Nightingale
"If you don't know who you are, you become who others expect you to be"
- anonymous
"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other guy to die"
- Carrie Fisher
People who throw their negative energy at us don't realize that, despite its negativity, it's still ENERGY that the recipient can use.
I remember a colleague who was so jealous of me years ago. I could see her whole body language change when I entered a room. This gal went to great lengths to actually hurt my career, but what she didn't realize was that her jealousy made me feel incredibly powerful.
While I hated her machinations against me, in a crazy way, she actually made me feel good about myself.
Of course, I had to have the self-esteem to know that I'd done nothing to deserve such hatred. I was just being the sweet little me! heh heh heh hehe....
Your stories resonate so strongly with me, and with past experiences I've had. Good marketing!
Derek,
I admire you.
Good thought. I used to worry that I needed to hide parts of myself from friends or fans or music biz people in order to be liked or understood. Then I realized that the challenging mix of ideas is what is interesting about what I do. It's quite all right that some people aren't going to like it. Some "bad" press just might be a big help!
well it is true... even some of my own family don't want to admit the hatred in their hearts over the fact that I wrote an Obama song. In order to be loved by some, you must be hated by many. It's a necessary part of life or otherwise you and all that you represent is a dull shade of gray, blending easily into whatever background is there at the moment.
I feel the same way haters make my day great! keep doing your job haters......
Derek,
Always dig your reads!
The great thing about being a happy successful person is you find out who your true friends are.
Once I learned to let go and not take on the hater's jealousy and bitterness my entire life feels like an open book. All that negativity now only fuels my creative fire.. as the saying goes "Success with integrity is the best revenge".
Cheers to you for always being part of the solution!
BK
People will always feel threatened by people that succeed over and above them. I still don't understand it, but their reaction to your success is a GREAT sign that you are doing the right thing. Quoting my former mentor I would say, "Whip it on!"
*Jared Matthew Kessler
Author of "The Poet and the Billionaire: A Personal Journey of Conversation."
Derek there's some cool S&M clubs in Jersey you should check out..
Kidding aside, it's true.. You can try to be cool to everybody and still end up being demonized.
Its often easier to project our failures and shortcomings on someone else than deal with our own stuff..
I remember at one point before you left CD baby that you announced the new look of cdbaby and imo it looked like crap and I said so.. now that you are gone it looks slightly better
If you have integrity and self esteem, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you. "Sticks and stones" and all that. An artist without at least one enemy must be doing something wrong. Art is conflict.
"No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission"- E. Roosevelt
Derek, you are responsible for global warming.
Villain or it is better to be true too oneself in ideas, thoughts and actions.
Here here.
Brandon Seyferth
of the band: Hot Heels Records
I know how you feel Derek.
Thank you for posting!
if they ain't talking shit about you...you ain't shit.
Hate = misdirected self-loathing.
I really like Tom Payne's comment above!
People sometimes hate out of jealousy. So yea, villians almost remind us of how far we've come too
People have been hating me since high school, I've just gotten used to it. I just ASSUME people hate me now, and become childishly overjoyed when they say they like me, or like my songs. A friend of mine wanted to be a back-up singer for me. I said no. She hates me. But like the "Nobody's going to help you. Does that encourage you or discourage you?" post, she looked at it positively and started her own business doing something totally different. Win-Win.
i would love to be able to brush off haters like that... i do think though, that men are more predisposed to be comfortable with a certain level of social rejection. perhaps i'm off-base here. but it seems to me that in general, women strive for consensus and tend to be "pleasers" where as men seem to be fine with just meeting their own needs. (of course this is a gross generalization, but i think it holds true in many instances). perhaps it has it's roots in our biology?
anyway, koodos to you for being so self-confident that you don't mind being dissed in public. madonna pointed out that you can judge how successful you are by the people who criticize and dislike you. she says that when you're doing something different and important, people will rail against it, and that when you have those detractors, it's actually a sign that you're on the right track...
Oh boy! I don't make enough people hate with me, but I make many people frightened. It's been a lonesome road, and I'm not always prepared for it. I still have the dream. The dream isn't necessarily a good thing...the dream is what keeps me from saying "I have arrived." In whatever it is I am doing there I am. For better or for worse, I am where I am, and sometimes seek the opportunity there, but sometimes fail to. Derek,it's all your fault...
Thanks for the offer. Just don't make the same one to the folks looking for someone to blame for the economic crises--they will gladly take you up on it!
Damn you Derek, I HATE you! LOL
Hate you for helping me out.
Hate you for your business ideas.
Hate you for creating CDBaby.
You're right. Just be like teflon and don't let it stick. When I got on the cover of my local music magazine certain people hated me.
When I started teaching my ideas at the local college people hated me. Hell with them! There will always be haters jealous of your success. Keep it up, jerk!
Like the person above, I'm not "famous" enough to warrant much attention, hateful or not. But I've recently been insulted around a dozen times from yspace friends who think I'm too egotistical because I have 6 Myspace Profiles. Yep, six of them! It's a lot of work, but I'm trying to use Myspace as a marketing tool. With that many pages, I can expose people to 36 of my songs and target different demographics. Yes, some people have been very upset about that!
Hey Derek,
As you know--when folks who are jealous and have a forum begin to attack--it means you've made it to a new level. It means you are too big to ignore--which is the way the same folks try to destroy talent in its infancy.
The upside of this kind of attack is--yes--you guessed it! Twice as many positive, supportive folks come out of the woodwork and offer their support of you.
Derek--you're the best! You've helped me alot with your emails and articles--but mostly by setting up CDbaby and Hostbaby. I am a customer of both and it has helped me in ways that would never have been available to me before you helped.
Not everyone loves tomatoes, and I am a tomatoe
.
Instead of firing the bassist you hired, why didn't you discuss the bass tracks with him and provide direction about what you wanted from him? That way, he probably wouldn't still hate you 13 years later.
Some woman commented on my Amazon.com page for one of my CDs that I had "the voice of a true diva" but that I was also "a diva without a clue." Because she didn't like any references to sexuality. And I happen to make quite a few of them on that particular CD. Anyway, the thing is, I smiled after reading it because all I cared about was that she said I had the voice of a true diva. Thanks!
When handed lemons, make lemonade baby.
Wow. That's really affirming. One thing I've learned about myself this past year is that I am far too "nice" in my career...at great cost to myself emotionally and financially. No more Mrs. Nice Guy. I'll let my yes be yes and my no be no and trust myself a whole lot more. Thanks for the note Derek. xo
vil·lein also vil·lain (vĭl'ən, -ān', vĭ-lān') Pronunciation Key
n. One of a class of feudal serfs who held the legal status of freemen in their dealings with all people except their lord.
[Middle English vilein; see villain.]
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2006 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
www.dictionary.com
Haha! I did the same with some bass tracks on an album we recorded a long time ago, but the bassist in question didn't care. We're still friends.
Do I want to be a villain? No, not really, but you can't help it if some people perceive you as one.
Derek Sivers is what's wrong with this world. Let's burn him at the stake!
Very cool.
I have dealt with similar for about 20 years, at first it was so hard to be hated as I'm unfortunately quite a pleaser but the haters could have worn me down or made me more assertive, better boundaries more determined that I lived humility and integrity wherever I possibly could. And that has won more than they have ever lost me. It still stings but they say no pain no gain
Dave wrote on December 13th, 2008
My man, if you’re a villain, that I don’t ever want to be a hero. :V
I second with what Dave said!!!
I will never understand why people do and say the things they do...
I think you are GRAND!
Derek,
I spent 30 years telling myself that my music was not good enough. Who would buy this crap anyway. Then I got involved with you and CD Baby and my music is being sold. Not millions, not even thousands, but enough to let me know that it means something to someone. I was the villain and you saved me.
I think same as Don Dougherty: This world could use more villains like you.
Well, I think you're awesome and really offer Help to the indie musician and artist.
Thank you, Derek.
And good for you for being able to take some heat. One simply cannot please all of the people all of the time. But one CAN please oneself all of the time. That's possible.
I love this!
It emphasizes: A. Taking up challenges & overcoming obstacles and B. Not being afraid to do what you know is right, no matter what the response is.
When you are a parent, and doing your job, you are the villain every day. LOL.
Asking people to do things they don't want to, pointing out that something may not be appropriate or taking issue with someone's actions are just part of being a responsible, engaged human being.
If we were compliant and complacent we would not be creative.
Hey! Just wrote a song about this last night.
http://www.imeem.com/lillilewis/music/OXT5WHRO/lilli_lewis_good_as_gold/
When I'm heavy in the throws of making music, I don't care what people think of me. I've been a lot of people's villain... but when I'm in a lull then I tend to find myself still on the battlefield of wanting everyone to like me...but I am losing my taste for victory!
Your music is your business,your product, the decisions you make should only make it better, some decisions you make may not make you popular but you are the boss when it comes to the final outcome. It's not always easy to be the boss.
great--needed to read this today.
was a confirmation on something for me.
ty
m
Funny, I've seen that too. I've even caught myself making someone my own personal villain. I don't think spiritually or creatively it pays me any dividends though so I avoid it.
Just read an article a while back from an individual who played for me.He wrote the article as if he was me for the last 20 years.A bit peaved ,however I understand. A bit insecure.
Derek,
Thanks for sharing this story. First, you're not a villain because you don't operate as a villain. The person who threatened to lie about cdbaby being a scam operates much like a villian and you obviously did the right thing in not hiring him.
I look forward to more updates & advice in the future. Thanks for all you do.
Rod Kinny
This couldn't come at a better time! Thanks so much.
From one villian to another.
Happy holidays,
Rusty
Damn! I don't think anybody hates me. Perhaps I'm not trying hard enough? Any haters out there?
As long as they spell your name right. That kind of sums it up, don't you think? No such thing as bad press when you're truly doing something good. It only makes you the under dog to people who matter. Besides it's better to be hated than ignored. That's the worst.
Being labeled a villain is symptomatic of having vision & guts
An excellent short piece, Derek
Gee, Derek, I least you know WHY you're the villain to these people. I'm trying to figure out why I am....
Anyway, you're not a villain to me. I appreciate all you've done for me and everyone else on CD Baby!
Shelley
This is great
I think some people wander the earth in search of a purpose and when they can't find it they take pleasure in trying to ruin other people. You're good at what you do and you're having a good time. Don't let anything get in your way!
Hey, we're forgetting a good part here, fellas. Villains get press. Which, in the end, might help us "make it" to the show and become even more infamous. All kidding aside, we are filled w/ a world of negativity. Make a choice and light up the darkness w/ your music. Let's be the people that root each other on to the best we can be. There are plenty of skeptics and haters out there who have no love in their hearts and no talent or beauty to bestow upon the world. What they say doesn't matter. What we do does matter in the eternal swing of things. Let our footsteps on earth echo in eternity or something like that. Touche, Derek, and good thoughts--thanks for sharing them w/ us. I'll be a villain anyday.
Thanks Derek. You followed your "compass of joy" (just heard that phrase for the first time the other day) and we're ALL better off for it.
>Some people can only feel right by making someone else wrong.
Sad but true.
Ah, Derek...you're such an evil dude! LOL!
I missed this post. Once again, I don't know how but you wrote exactly what I needed to read. And the comments are so great (esp. about Bhuddism)! Some choice quotes in this thread that I will have to save!
Abraham Maslow also spoke about the impulse to build humans up to their highest ability, but also to tear down those who have achieved much. Maybe it's in our nature.
I have gotten some great reviews, but the first really bad one hurt for a day or two. Then I just forgot about it. It's online, and I could go back and read it, but ultimately I think it says more about the critic's hangups than mine. And I love one comment about how the hater's negative energy and ugly machinations can actually give you energy.
I think I am coming to a new plateau of understanding and you are one of the forces helping me to get there.
You should have a villain suit made. Call your character Hatememan or something!
This reminder comes at the right time after finding my name and album
mixed in with some scummy sites on
Google. And you are so right !
Jealousy and despair go hand in hand....and rot.
Being in tune and being happy roots
in rich earth and grows forever.
Thanks !
wichampi.
I stopped letting people's opinion
of my music bother me years ago.
Actually it helps to know what they
are so sure is wrong. Especially when they don't know a thing about
writing music and have a tin ear..
As you know everybody's opinion is
important and I have learned a lot
from each critic. I just listen and consider the source. At times
they have helped me but have never
made me even think about not writing anymore. It is part of me. I
have been writing for well over 55
years and will continue for as long
as I live. If I had been easily discouraged I would have stopped writing years ago.
I too LOVE being the villain.
This is my fav example...
Some years ago, I was working as Music Director at a radio station where the turnover of sales staff was astronomical; the average length of service was three weeks! True! One day a brand new and highly excited new rep was being introduced to the staff. "Hi!!! I'm Kristy!!!" she gushed all over my personal space. I drolly replied, "I'm not committing your name to memory. You won't be here in three weeks." She was crushed. I didn't give a sh@#.
About a year later, Kristy was given an award for being the station's top rep. By now she was not quite so gushy. She came up to me and said, "You're a c@#% Phil! Remember what you said to me on day one?" I said, "Nah!". So she reminded me and explained how that was her sole means of motivation to become numero uno. Man, I felt so good about that.
That was more than ten years ago.
Just last week, I was taking time out from being an independent muso and visiting another radio station where I had once worked. Who did I bump into there but Kristy? I asked, "What are you doing here?" She said she'd just started there as a sales rep. I said, "Ha! You won't last three weeks."
She gave me a huge hug.
"I know I’m doing good helpful work. I’m so filled with love that nothing gets me down...."
Being disliked is 'part and parcel' of building an ethical base to character and this is far more important than having a 'Cool' personality.
Hooray for common-sense - why is it always in short supply?
I find myself wrestling with the .."why - what is obvious to me is so difficult to get across to my young and troubled newphew."....for whom 'emptiness' is his state of being, and this must be filled with yet another drink and yet another bong and nothing is ever enough to fill the void that he's not honest enough to acknowledge exists. To him - he's not empty and,in some way, he's not ... he's filled with rage and feelings of inadequacy. I remember being like that.
One of the earlier comments poigniantly suggested that the opening quote from Derek is all very well but what if you're a bit insecure?
Internal security gets built up slowly by helping others which sounds simplistic but is still true. If I am now able to shrug off the dislike and hatred of the few then it's because I examine my motivation for 'words and action' on a regular basis and therefore I 'know' when and if I am at fault. Because I'm not scared to say sorry when it's needed, I'm able to not carry grudges, spite and all those nasty burdens. In this way most occassions for remorse gradually disappear to be replaced by a fairly calm acceptance of reality and a growing sense of internal security. External security is not there for any of us.
Most of us need to feel useful and the best way to start is by being useful.... hmm... now I've cleared that up for myself .... Love doesn't mean being nice but being constructive is 'good'
I've always received 'help' but it never comes in the form of a $500,000 open cheque and I'm also sure I've been helped without the knowing of it. Would that be true for all of us?
As usual, fantastic observation and on the mark response. Keep up the good work.
I think any critic that publicly and personally slags an artist about a work of theirs does indeed need and should be slagged back both directly and publicly in blogs, websites and even band newsletters, anywhere where it will be seen and it will affect the writer just as his / her slagging affects artists.
Only then, they will stop the malicious lies that hurt hard working artists.
Slagging by critics is obviously an attempt to negate the great work of artists that the critic knows damn well is great and he / she would never be able to do themselves.
Shoot, I realize that the biggest villian in my life is me! Totally freaked me out.
Unfortunately
"As long as one person has more than another there will always be WAR - and so, there will always be WAR"
It is sometimes very hard to say "No Thank You I rather not" without creating animosity.
Derek,is that you in the dunk cage?..and..Is the guy with the london sideburns and wet feet selling the balls your pardoned bassist?I thought villians tied beautiful maidens to train tracks.Happiness does come in all forms.
Damn you Derek! I loathe you and that damn pony tail, baldness, monk thing you got going on!
Other than that...I mean, CD Baby has been a BIG part of my own success.
So, I guess you alright, then.
Lose the tail.
At first it was suppose to be a group thing, then they decided I couldnt do it without them.
I proved them wrong.
Several times, and again in a month or so.
Now when they want to be part of it... I get to say "No" and then put out another cd.
It's good to be the bad guy.
If any one needs a respite from all of this villanous talk, check out "Plan for Peace" www.truehearttexas.com or www.myspace.com/trueheart and get your cup filled. Let me know what you think!
Peace to all and to all a good night.
i'm with ya on this one. i recently had a "hate song" written about me and my band. i was pretty honored that people i used to help thought i/we were important enough to put a song on their cd about. bring it on indeed!
-adam
Damn you, Derek...you really made me think here. Are you Buddhist? I've been reading a lot of texts on it, and aspiring to live in a more open-hearted way. What you describe seems to fit with that philosophy. I have been training myself to let other people's misplaced anger and pettiness roll off my back, and instead to empathize with their state of mind. It seems to slowly be working. You are on the right track, friend.
> Are you Buddhist?
A little.
A lot of things classified under Buddhist seem to just be a good healthy mindset, to me.
Thanks for the kind words.
You are very welcome! This article is part of my awakening. I'm glad to see that there are many others along for the ride. Perhaps someday, my music will give you the same inspiration. Until then...
Right on man. You are doing beautiful and inspiring work. Bring on the haters!
http://www.buystarwarscostumes.com/darth_vader_authentic.html
You know you want one. ;->
Some people's curses are sweet music to my ears. They think they insult you, but in fact they make you the greatest compliment...
Hi Derek. Thank you for your guidance.
I have recorded a lot of songs in my studio with artists who wants to realize their often crappy ideas and songs. I have not rejected anyone.
I often have had to add and change a lot to the songs and sometimes to change the lyrics. I have done that with great respect to the original artist.
I can say that I have allowed them to missuse my good will and time. Some time ago I made a song that was recognized by publishers and appreciated a lot. One of the guys that I had helped previously claimed that he wrote the lyrics. Well he did some lines but I had to rewrite it to make it work with the music I made. I also registered the song and gave him 50% of the rights. I think sometimes that I should make him pay for all the studiotime that I have spent, but I know he won't pay.
I know I should take care of my interests better, but I just love to make the music but some "artists" seems to love the money more. Today I don't let anyone into my studio if they don't love music or show that they are willing to work hard on their projects themselves. I think I have learned my lesson. I'm afraid that these people that I reject are goin to spread bad rumors about me and my music. When I accidently meet some of them they have a bad attityde and even make crappy comments directly to me. I'm most mad about that I have let other steal my time. Time that I could have spent on my own sing/songwriting.
Thank you Derek for all advices.
Ok, fine. I hate you.
Well, Derek,
I've got my very own way of looking at this! I always have a lot of fun punching back much more harder than they have done if someone insults me on my own websites - because I know by some experience I'm indeed good in doing so! And as a rule I never hear from those folks again! A great joke that indeed always works is threatening them with a one million dollar suit at an "international court" and that you already have talked to your "band's lawyers" to file it if they don't remove their insult from your site within the next days! The next day you will see their entry has vanished from your site! Try this yourself! It simply works (because those characterless idiots care much more for their own purse than for their honor! If they really had honor they wouldn't insult a collegue!)
Perhaps you like the publicity
Good stuff Derek! Thanks for helping me reset my perspectives. My dad (who passed away many years ago) kept a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking" near-by; for when times got weird. Even after he was diagnosed with cancer, he kept his positive perspective and insisted on living life to the fullest. He lived 7 years longer than the "experts" (villains) said he would.
I think being the/a villain is somewhat irrelevant. One might argue that sticking to a set of principles can invite hatred or dislike but blind faith without rational reflection- or an inability to accept honest criticism- is not really all that rational.
If we lift all rules (i.e. moral imperatives)we get all sorts of bad apples acting out there- each fulfilling their own idea of happiness often at the expense of others. Witness the current financial crises. The fact that one has created enemies may correlate loosely with an upswing in business, hard/ effort etc. but I believe there is a disconnect between linking the two and saying it is a rule of thumb. In short, an adherence to a religious-like set of principles at the expense of the only tool we truly have- reason- is reason itself for self reflection. We all can observe the effects of say, gravity but each of us has a different take on what is a healthy principle for happiness. And some are downright a/im/moral.
If luck accompanies hard work, hard work will still not be its cause. We shouldn't dispense with reason just because a rule of thumb seems to apply in many situations. Thanks for all the hard work and thought provoking discussions.
-R
Hey Derek. welcome to the real law as i see it.
continue to remember its not personal, they're playing their role in theatre/stage of life.
Probabably unconciously, whilst
yours is probably concious[self determined]. However, sincerely hope YOU dont accept the
"villlain" title. If you have reason to believe that its of course up to you.
OZ
Derek,
Hey, are you trying to ruin all my fun? I've been blaming myself for everything all these years and now you want blame too...I'm going to continue blaming myself no matter what you do to me. I deserve it...I can prove that I'm a much bigger jerk than you could ever be.
I think you're doing a good job....how do you like that?
Dave Blackledge "jerk and troublemaker"
Ah, I've had the same kind of experience as you had with your bass player. Sometimes you can't end a musical relationship that doesn't seem to be working out without ending the personal relationship that exists (and thus becoming a villain). And nothing makes you feel worse than somebody making you out to be a villain...
Although certain people like to make me out to be a villain, I will never 'accept' that role. I simply accept that they are wrong.
As far as I'm concerned, music has no place for these 'villain-creators' who care more about making other people look bad to make themselves look good than they do just making themselves look good. Weed them out and we'll have a much healthier musical garden!!!
But let's not place our worries too much on them. Let's keep doing what we do because we love to do it and let's realize that we are not villains. We are simply victims of the jealousy, hurt, and egos of individuals who feel that they have been wronged by us in some way.
Never walk on egg shells. Never tiptoe. You are going to piss people off and they are going to retaliate. But being a villain in their eyes doesn't make you a villain to the rest of the world.
...villain, as a social attribute
can make a significant difference. Belonging to or not,is a strictly
personal choise. Unfortunately, when surrounded by "envy" the villain can become too spiny...
I admire you Derek!
Mario Roman.
The plot of gossips, movies or novels always included a villain-v-hero gig. Where would Superman be w/out Lex Luther, Batman w/out The Joker or Ivana w/out The Donald. The Villain always found a way to survive another episode. So, hang in there Derek or better yet visit Oahu, HI. and hang-loose, Brah.
MK
OK- $4 is a moderately high price for distribution through CDbaby considering that most independent musicians don't sell too may CD's as it is, but it is nice to not have to ship out product or deal with credit cards. I guess that is what we are paying for, right? Oh ya, and maybe a little over head, but hey I originally signed up with the company because Jack Johnson used it before he became famous. Your no villian! Just a business man.
In a documentary on Grand Funk Railroad I saw on VH1's "Behind the Music" a while back, their ex-manager (who sued them for breach of contract and won) said, "...I don't mind being the man in the black hat as long as I get to wear that black hat to the bank...".
People screw up, then they loose... and then they hate...lol.
Humans are really funny. On the other hand:
People dream, believe, work their butt, achieve... and find people to hate them...lmao.
Yeah, we humans are really funny.
I guess the real question is, "are you willing to be misunderstood?"
Good word Derek, Happy Holidays!
This is great and so true. You know you're doing something right when certain people get pissed or hate you for no apparent reason.
BRING IT indeed. ha!
Everytime someone hurts us, intentionally or unintentionally,
thank GOD for this great gift, because THAT PERSON ACTUALLY HELPS US to personally grow in our own capacity to love ourselves and others! By providing another wonderful opportunity to excercise our FORGIVENESS muscle, a hurtful person paradoxically strengthens our own love each time we use it to surround a hurtful person with compassionate forgiveness, which magically radiates happiness from our own hearts out into the world.
We then get to fulfill our true purpose in this life as MOTHER TERESA expressed when she said:
"We are created for two reasons:
to love and to be loved."
Greetings: I am from Chicago,Illinois and for as long as
I can remember I have been looked at as if I was the bad guy. Some would look at me and act as if they needed to secure something.
I always felt that they are the one
with the problem not me. And if there is a problem I will help them to see that they are wrong.
Some times it does not work, because if some one does not like you do to incorrect information ,
and they plain old just want to not like you for what ever reason.
Then I take that energy and use it
as fuel,so my fires are pretty big.
Metaphorically speaking of course.
i prefer to not be on anyone's villain list, tho sometimes it happens. when it does, i like to visualize that person having what they need in life, so they don't have to send negative thoughts & energy my way. the sugar approach!
if they are truly impossible, i disengage and maintain strategic distance. blamers are usually trying to grab some energy that they don't know how to access from within themselves. So I shut them off from my supply, and they will usually go looking for a new host.
I love when you say "Im so full of love"...what a beautiful way to be. Thank you for all your wonderful help, I have always appreciated what you do!
Love, EL
I've spent most of my life trying to be good so every human being that I've ever met would like me. Then 7 years ago I had a spiritual awakening where my soul told me I wrote a book that had a significant impact on the people of my generation, and it would focus on group reincarnation and rock 'n' roll. Let's just say there are lots of people who don't like me for speaking my truth, including the famous band that triggered my awakening. I'm a bad girl for taking a stand that we're all spiritual beings, even rock stars and their fans.
I learned on my rock 'n' roll journey of self-discovery that when others get pissed at me for speaking my truth, I'm simply a mirror for their own emotional wounding. And vice-versa. The band acted as my mirror and triggered lots of my buried emotions without ever meeting me. Just seeing them in concert did the trick. But this is actually a gift which allows each of us to see that anger, fear, or however our ego feels slighted, is coming to the surface to be healed.
In the book "The Four Agreements," by Don Miguel Ruiz, he says not to take anything personally. Whatever someone else is experiencing never has anything to do with us, and only has to do with them and the story they've created in their own mind.
I didn't read through every response, so someone may have mentioned it already, but two great books about the human ego and the blame game that it plays are Eckhart Tolle's "Power of Now" and "A New Earth."
Thanks Derek. This is my first time checking out your blog and it's awesome.
Confidence is a wonderful thing. It frees you from anything that anyone else might say or do. i feel it every day, and am glad you have written about it.
I believe the message here is do what is right and be yourself inspite of what others say or think. (not going out of your way to be a jerk) There are millions.....no billions of people so how do you please them all?
Ted Snyder
hi derek-i haven't gotten any hate stuff yet and maybe that means my next endeavor needs more "edge"....but i like my first CD and am proud to be a recording artist. i do it for me, and hope others come along for the ride.
Any buzz is good buzz, as long as they spell your name right.
I really feel this guy's problem. I know what he's talking about. People can be mean, envious, and spiteful. That's what makes artists doubt themselves. Put it into the art, the ultimate expression.
Notice "petty tyrants" of Carlos Castanaeda.
And, the callouses on the end of my fingers.
Creativity is almost always irritating, so I look around to see who's being irritated and hoping I find a number of them (especially the ones I don't care for all that much, myself).
I know some people who have said negative things about Derek. I never understood this, especially after I met him. Why/how could someone as professionally generous as Derek inspire such negativity? Oh, wait...there's that
"threatend by" thing....threatened by his RARE combination of intelligence, entrepreneurism,
willingness to share and his absolute originality. Yep, jealousy can prevent appreciation and gratitude for sure.
So, as for the villain thing, I also find that being the "bad guy" is sometimes also a trait that others envy. The ability to be true to yourself or a purpose...the ability to set boundaries and to say "no" is something many people cannot or will not do or risk.
So, it's a projection thing. Reject in someone else what you wish you could do...
When we started getting people commenting negatively about the music, I had a reaction I didn't expect. I smiled. I laughed a little.
As someone said earlier, we must be doing something right if we are registering enough with people for there to now be bad comments mixed in with the good.
Derek,
You are the best!
Thanks for keeping it real. I'm a big fan. You have a great perspective on the world, and on the music business.
Sincerely,
John
Interesting concept, Derek! Ok I agree...Btw don't you need a bassist or a consultant anymore ( just for a case )? Then you may want to hire me...)))
Regards and best Xmas wishes,
Andrew
@Arthur - Your story about Wonton made me sad. I blame you...
AND Derek.
- Karl
I will always have days when I have taken a side track and found myself further away from myself than I want to be.
It's being human, faults and all.
If someone learns to accept their faults and live peacefully with them they'll have a much happier life.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge and the example you show.
I get where you're coming from, but it doesn't bring me happiness if someone hates me. I just think, "That's their problem, not mine."
Derek writes:"Some people can only feel right by making someone else wrong." Okay, now all we need is someone to write the rest of this country western song. Derek gets co-author/publisher rights and I only need 15%.
BTW-Arthur's comment (dec 13) made me laugh my ass off. I needed that. Thanks Arthur!
Reminds me of my first lead guitarist who I played with in 1981.
He only wanted to do covers and made fun of the songs I wrote.
He stalked out on the band when I won 8 free hours of recording time in a studio because I refused to do covers and I had to use a friend who was with another band to fill in.
I have a private tracker on a site and I can see he still stalks me and writes nasty reviews about me when possible
I don't think my first album was on itunes more than 5 minutes when he came over and wrote some mean comment.
Actually it's entertaining being the villian.
Our group just went through an agonizing decision to change two band members who were old and dear friends. We were torn between frienship and the direction we wanted the music to go. We tried as delicately as possible to break the news to them but it did not go smoothly. They now think we have really done them wrong and that is sad. The new band however is having the most fun we have had in a long time and booking gigs like crazy. I wish we would have made the decision sooner.
Blind Tommy
Seattle WA
villain, well you can only be one if you are making things happen. Someone doing nothing will never be named a villain. Alway there are those who are jealious of those who succeed and I have found that true so many times.
In Bette Davis' autobiography she says "If everybody likes you, something is terribly wrong."
Folks ... I challenge you all. I am much more hated then everybody else in here.
Have you ever heard someone saying "oh I so love my lawyer" ?
Believe me ... the percent of hate you can possibly gain in music (even you, Derek, by substituting your bass player) is anywhere near the one you get as a lawyer .....
PS: one day I dared to substitute the bass line of my own brother .... damn that was a bad move ...
However "hate is love and love is hate" we say in Italy
Cheers
Why do people waste time hating. Haters need to get a life of change by looking in the mirror.
I can relate - I put out a Christmas cd called Santa vs. Satan in a Guitar Duel knowing very well that many people would hate me for it.
But, it's also been my most successful album on itunes...
Villians and Heroes aren't much different are they?
It's just the positive or negative sign that comes before them - yin and yang.
sheesh, of course you're happy about your life, you've made a fortune off the backs of the disenfranchised and vulnerable. I know I'd rather be the guy who started CDBaby than one of the zillions of hack artists on CDbaby. In fact, I'd probably give up on my hack band pretty quick, just like you did.
The thing is though, you seem like a pretty decent guy. I think you know, you must know, that CDBaby thrives on hopes that will never come true. And since you seem like a decent guy, who had good intentions when he started CDBaby, it probably bothers you on some level. It's not your fault, of course; if you had worked CDBaby as a non-profit, it would not have succeeded. Meanwhile, while a few may consider you a villain, tons of people think you're a really swell guy, because while the CDBaby service's fees to artists are usurous, it's still the best game in town. We all know that the reason you have to charge us $4 for every CD you sell is because most CDs in CDbaby's warehouse don't sell and cost you money to keep in inventory. But anyone that sells even a few hundred CDs through CDbaby is getting royally ripped off. Major labels used to use their cash cows to finance their new artists, but at least they heavily promoted their artists. CDbaby users get very little value. Either they've got a vanity project that doesn't sell, or if they do sell, the more they sell the more CDBaby rakes in profit. A somewhat less obnoxious business model would be to reduce CDBaby's take over certain thresholds of a band's sales. In other words, after a band sells 100 CDs through CDbaby, CDbaby should start taking $3.80 instead of $4. And 500 should drop it to $3. Or something like that, bean counters could sort out the numbers. And some of that profit should be used to, if not promote CDbaby artists, to at least promote CDbaby itself. Seems to me the only people who promote CDbaby are the all the punters directing people to their CDbaby page hoping to sell a CD. So that's rather lame, not only do we pay to play, we also do CDbaby's advertising for free. And boy you'd think by merging CDBaby with Discmasters the cost-cutting measures would free up even more capital for promotion. But, no. I lived through this all a decade ago on mp3.com. It's all the same deal, the only difference being that the guy who started CDBaby seems a little nicer and more down to earth since he started CDbaby to sell his music, rather than simply being an internet mogul who noticed 'mp3' was showing up as a popular search on the fake search-engine he owned at the time...
So yeah, I wish you could do more for us, but I know you can't and I don't consider you to be a villain just because you succeeded at something I didn't. I'm happy for you. Now if only I could be happy for me!
By the way, do you realize that if one were to attempt to duplicate your success, one would set up a CDBaby-like service, hoping to take some of CDbaby's business by doing some aspect of it better, or cheaper, rather than remaining in a working relationship with CDBaby? I bet you do, and you're probably more comfortable discussing it now that you've sold CDBaby and so your personal success is no longer pegged to keeping CDBaby clients.
Just to ramble on with the rest of my thoughts...
While CDBaby's origins make me feel better on a personal level working with CDBaby, I also think that the CDBaby culture has hindered its ability to fulfil its own mandate to help artists. For example, the policy to inform artists of the identity and contact info for everyone who buys a CD. I understand the premise behind it, but I think it does more harm than good. There are a lot of paranoid people out there, and nobody likes spam. I can guarantee there are some people out there who were going to buy a CD and decided not to once they heard their email address would be passed to the band. On one level, sure it sounds like something a fan would want: direct contact with the band he's a fan of! Who wouldn't want the band contacting them? Well, pretty much anyone who has had an email address in the past 15 years, so when they hear the word 'spam' the first image that pops into their head isn't a can of processed meat.
And from the artists point of view, yeah whoopie, we get to talk to someone who ALREADY bought our CD. Now what do we say? "Hey want to buy my CD?"..."I just did, retard!". Do you think Soulja Boy wanted to chat with all the people who bought his CD on CDBaby before he was signed? No, he just wanted success like EVERYONE on CDbaby does. And an artist who sells a few hundred CDs on CDBaby doesn't have time to personally chat with fans, which means the email address will only be used for promotional spam. Do you realize how useless my email box would be if every band I like sent me their newsletter? Maybe not, you don't know what a dilettante I am!
Instead, CDBaby should've been devoted to keeping Soulja Boy and all top sellers on CDBaby, by offering them better deals. And by keeping big sellers rather than simply being a cesspool launching pad, CDBaby could actually invest in promoting itself. Plus the brand would look more like a place that actually cares about its artists rather than being a cheap cash-grab as some kind of ramped-up artifical darwinian proving ground, putting capitalism in the worst light possible where the cream of the crop move on once they start to succeed, leaving the hoardes of non-sellers behind.
Waitasec, I might be wasting my time with that last rant... does Tony read these things?
Oops sorry, did I miss something? Wasn't this Derek's call for us to criticize, kid-gloves off? I got the impression he was sick of all the adulation that generally permeate every single comment to one of his articles, and for a breath of fresh air he was saying hey, throw the ball at me, I'll take the dunk in the tank!
And yet, I was the only one who threw any balls. Or has any?
By the way, d'ya think maybe, just maybe, ol' Derek there might actually have savvy, sophistication and brains rivalling president-elect Obama, in that like Obama, he knows the value of appointing one's most vociferous critics in advisory positions because he knows that yes-men and those who are simply enamoured with his success can only tell him about his previous success, and are in no way helpful for him to figure out how to continue to excel in the future?
Derek's example of the people who had villainized him were not along those lines, however. The first example was a close friend who felt slighted by an action Derek had to take because it was prudent to do so, inspite of knowing it would hurt his friend's feelings. On the other hand, since Derek's record wasn't a big smash, maybe the friendship would've been worth more, in hindsight. That's for him to decide. The second example was of a yes-man who had nothing of value to offer Derek, and thus became enraged when his advances were spurned. The third example was just life's baggage. So maybe I'm wrong, since didn't give any positive examples of valid criticism, maybe he was fishing for adulation. Maybe that's what these articles are for? Because thats all they ever seem to generate. Even suggestions tend to be so softball they rarely make a good point. Does Derek actually get off on that stuff? Inquiring minds want to know... is Sivers an Obama? Or is he just Palin' in comparison? How much does he spend on his wardrobe, anyway?
How true it is Derek. I let someone do some back ground vocals on one of my CD's, payed him $50 bucks and now he thinks he's owed some "residuals" for every CD sold. He came upon this idea after talking to a barroom lawyer in a low bottom bar. Not a lawyer, just another drunk. A villian I am! So, I told him, sue me!
Roll with the changes, and you can't please everyone!
With enemys like you, who needs friends? (lol)
Just keep doing what your doing!
There are times when ‘being the villain’ is no different to ‘shoot the messenger’. I am old enough to have had three causes for conflict within the work environment leading to my official complaint.
My ‘line in the sand’ is always related to ethical behaviour. Twice against individuals and once against a company.
To take anyone to task over ethics is fraught with danger. Words have a way of being open to interpretation.... of slithering about.
Do I mind being seen as the villain? I don’t go looking for conflict. The fact that integrity, honesty, awareness and energy are pre-requisite to any real job inevitably brings one into conflict with the lazy, the cunning and the incompetent..... but only if ethics are actually expressed. For that to happen, character must be worked upon until ethical action is deeply ingrained.
Because we are ‘our words and actions’ and it’s our character more than our personalities which should and need be expressed within our work, I have been literally hated by a few people who ‘operate to the beat of a different drum.’
I won’t work in a ‘wink wink, nudge nudge’ environment where favours are done and expected to be continually exchanged. I have seen a fake smile be replaced by a foaming beast within seconds when that realisation dawns.
Being the villain is within each perception. Most of us know we’re right - within our frame of reference. It’s only within conflict that a villain emerges.
I am the villain if truth and need dictates. Sometimes, it’s the only choice which allows one to be true to oneself. This comes with a price - sometimes unexpectedly high - but then we never know the seeds of the future which are the fruit of our actions today.
I personally believe hate is something you own and carry around with you, like a bad tie. You can either hang it out there for everyone to see or you can throw it in the garbage. When I hear people being too critical of others, I can usually pick up on how ugly their tie is without even seeing it.
No matter what you do or how hard you try, someone somewhere can try to slam you using negative remarks. Let them, but without internalizing any of it yourself. Trust the perceptions of the people reading/hearing those comments. They will also see the ugly tie.
Tanks,le tue lezioni sono davvero molto utili anche se a volte non riesco ad usarle nella vita reale poichè in quel preciso momento che mi servono me le dimentico.Prima o poi sono sicuro di riuscirci.
Derek, you naughty villain! I wish there were more villains like you in the music biz!!
Oh man, talk about being a villain...My last two drummers from my last two bands really hated me, but I'm not sure why really. I'd like to think that it's because I'm making better music than I did when I worked with them. Yeah, that's it.