December 31st, 2008
I’m thinking of moving to India for 6 months.
I called my friend Tina Su to discuss it. We talked about pros and cons.
In the end, I asked, “Is there any reason NOT to go?”
She thought deeply then said, “Yes. Don’t go if you think it’s going to make you happy.”
Brilliant.
December 22nd, 2008
Once you’ve moved a few times, packing and lugging piles of stuff you’ve acquired over the years, you can really appreciate the simple freedom of letting old stuff go, and refusing to acquire new stuff.
But minimalism is usually a quirk of the guilty affluent. Magazines about it sell well in expensive organic grocery stores. People without still want more.
Once you’ve felt trapped by expensive proprietary software lock-ins, you can really appreciate free open-source community-developed software like Firefox, Ubuntu, OpenOffice, GnuCash, GiMP.
But in many poor developing nations that seem like they’d need it most, attempts to integrate free software are refused, saying it’s cheating people out of learning the best software used in the developed world. (Interesting story about this, here.)
Once you’ve tangled with the dirty politics and greed that run the business of massive fame, or felt the sick post-signing regret realizing the executive that owns your music is now your boss, you can really appreciate the “indie” world, where you can make a living owning your own music, and are your own boss.
But many musicians are still trying to get signed.
With each example, I realized that getting to the more peaceful place means getting past the original goal. It’s only after you’ve had too much stuff, proprietary software lock-ins, or bad music biz dealings that you can appreciate the better option by comparison!
Which of course reminds me of many mistakes I’ve made in relationships, business, management or programming. I had to make the mistake to feel the pain and realize why it was a mistake.
Or did I?
We all know that through vivid storytelling (whether oral, written, or movies) you can feel you’ve experienced something, just by hearing it.
Maybe we need more vivid stories that can help people feel the pain of the mistake vicariously without having to make the mistake?
December 18th, 2008
Nobody’s going to help you. It’s all up to you.
Does hearing that discourage you or motivate you?
The reason I’m asking is that a musician friend emailed me two questions last week (December 2008):
How can I find a great/major booking agent?
And how can I find an investor? I need someone to invest $500,000 into my band for radio, touring, recording, videos, PR, payola, etc.
My answer was:
Sorry, but when it comes to this stuff, I think the healthiest attitude is the most cynical one:
There are no great agents that would want to take you on unless you’re already earning $5000 a month gigging, so that their 10% cut (only $500) would be worth their time.
There are absolutely no investors that would invest in a musician now. Even solid profitable businesses with customers and employees can’t find investors these days, (December 2008), so just assume you will not.
So: No agent. No investor. No one’s going to help you until you’re already successful. So how do you get successful with no help from anyone?
How can you make $5000/month from gigging, so that an agent will be interested enough to take it to the next level? Only you know.
How can you call so much attention to your music online, that a company will gamble on you, and finance the expensive offline campaign?
Those are the healthy questions to ask.
Unfortunately that’s not the answer he wanted.
To him, my answer was really discouraging.
To me, (if I was receiving that answer from someone else), it would be really encouraging.
I like being reminded that nobody’s going to help me - that it’s all up to me. It puts my focus back on the things I can control - not waiting for outside circumstances.
But it got me wondering: is that just me?
When you think that nobody’s going to help you, does that encourage you or discourage you?
I’m really interested to hear everyone’s honest answer. Please leave a reply in the comments here. Thanks!
December 13th, 2008
Happiness is letting someone make you the villain.
Funny thing is : I’m happy to be the villain they need.
Some people can only feel right by making someone else wrong.
I know I’m doing good helpful work. I’m so filled with love that nothing gets me down. So I guess if anyone should be the villain, it should be me!
It doesn’t bother me, and noticing it doesn’t bother me reminds me how happy I really am.
So, bring it on, anyone. Project your frustrations on to me. I’m happy to be that for whoever needs it.
December 12th, 2008
Being the cheap music-biz conference slut that I am, I’m often asked my advice for attending a conference. Here it is:
You know the way to be interesting to others is to be interested in them. (Why is this so hard for self-promoters to understand?)
So, the week before the conference, read “How to Talk to Anyone” or any book about how to be a great listener.
Then use the conference as your testing ground for your new listening skills. Get extremely interested in those around you. Think like an investigative reporter.
Turn to a stranger and say, “Hi. What do you do?”
Ask follow-up questions about how they got into that. What they love and hate about it. Ask why they came to the conference. Talk about non-work-stuff, too!
Notice your similarities. Appreciate your differences. Be very curious about their unique perspective. Learn from it.
Think of how you can help them. If you don’t know yet, keep asking questions.
(Sometimes the way to help someone is not what you’d expect! If they are painfully shy, maybe the best way you can help them is by introducing them to the next person you meet, or inviting them to dinner. If they are painfully popular, maybe they need your help to escape the crowd for a little peace and quiet.)
Get their business card. Take notes on the back of it as soon as the conversation is done.
Each night, before bed, enter everyone’s info into your computer, including your notes. (Trust me: it only takes 15 minutes, but it’s crucial to do it that night before you meet more people the next day!)
Send them one tiny email immediately, connecting the digital you to the physical you. (“Hi John. Nice to meet you today. I’m the one in red who also hates Björk. You were right about the burritos! I still want to see your Malaysia photos. Maybe see you at the wrap-up party tomorrow.”) Your email signature should have your full contact info.
By being sincerely interested in them, and actively trying to help them, they will likely be interested in you, and try to help you.
Notice I said nothing about promoting your gig, your band, your service. You have to trust the Tao of promotion. This is about them, not you. Your promotion will come later.
When they do ask about you, have a very (VERY!) short but impressive summary of what you do, with one question-inducing curiosity. (“Songwriter of the Crunchy Frogs - the worst punk bluegrass band ever. We’re headlining the showcase tonight. Our singer milks horses.”)
Then seriously, I can’t emphasize this enough : SHUT UP after 3 sentences. Please. Stop there. Don’t pull out your CD. Don’t hand them a flyer. Wait for them to ask, or change the subject back to them if they don’t!
DO NOT push your crap on someone who isn’t asking for it. It’s the biggest turn-off of all. Because it shows you don’t understand the real point, which is…
The conference itself is a mad blitz of distractions. Only use it for these initial connections, as described above.
Assume that anything you hand someone at a conference will be thrown out. So don’t do it, unless they ask.
Instead, if you want them to have something of yours, send it to them separately, afterwards.
The best time to get down to business is when they’re alone, back at their desk, a week or two after the conference, undistracted, and can give you their full one-on-one attention.
That’s when you want someone checking out what you have to offer: when they’re focused on you - looking at your site.
They’ll remember you as incredibly nice and a fascinating conversationalist. When they find out you’re also incredibly talented, they’ll feel they found you - not bombarded by you. (See “Leave ‘em Wanting More”.)
After 15 years of 100-or-so conferences, I can tell you from experience that only about 1% of the people ever follow up. Therefore, 99% of them wasted their time. Please don’t be in that 99%.
It’s ALL about the follow-up. It’s ONLY about the follow-up. Remember this, and you’ll do well.
