I liked the description - that great comedians are like philosophers - but the contents were just some quips.
Picketing, boycotting and letter-writing makes powerless people feel useful.
The caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.
Name six ways we’re better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? Because chickens are decent people. You don’t see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you?
When’s the last chicken you heard about came home from work and beat the shit out of his hen, huh? Doesn’t happen. Because chickens are decent people.
Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
Comedy is filled with surprise, so when I cross a line, I like to find out where the line might be and then cross it deliberately, and then make the audience happy about crossing the line with me.
When they really laugh, their defenses are down. They are completely open, completely themselves when that message hits the brain and the laugh begins.
That's when new ideas can be implanted. If a new idea slips in at that moment, it has a chance to grow.
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
There aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
The earth doesn’t share our prejudice toward plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children.
Culture is astonishingly amusing if you are emotionally detached from it. I have always viewed it from a safe distance, knowing I don't belong; it doesn't include me, and it never has. I do not identify with the group, no matter how you care to define it. (Country, race, religion, etc.)
The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought.
I don’t like team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists.
Never join a group that has a name.
Hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
When we assign a word to a thought, we’re stuck with that word for that thought. So be careful with words.
No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.
Show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, “Why not?”
Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that shit.
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?