Smart people don't think others are stupid
2012-05-16
The woman seemed to be making some pretty good points, until she stopped with, “Ugh! Those (people she disagrees with) are just so stupid!!”
She could have said Southerners, Northerners, Republicans, Democrats, Indians, or Americans. It doesn’t matter. She had just proven that she wasn’t being smart.
There are no smart people or stupid people, just people being smart or being stupid.
(And things are often not as they seem, so people who seem to be doing something smart or stupid, may not be. There’s always more information, more context, and more to the story.)
Being smart means thinking things through - trying to find the real answer, not the first answer.
Being stupid means avoiding thinking by jumping to conclusions. Jumping to a conclusion is like quitting a game : you lose by default.
That’s why saying “I don’t know” is usually smart, because it’s refusing to jump to a conclusion.
So when someone says “They are so stupid!” - it means they’ve stopped thinking. They say it to feel finished with that subject, because there’s nothing they can do about that. It’s appealing and satisfying to jump to that conclusion.
So if you decide someone is stupid, it means you’re not thinking, which is not being smart.
Therefore: smart people don’t think others are stupid.
On the same principle, I don't think people can be classified 'Smart' or 'Stupid' unless the frequency of the adjective qualifying their actions begins to define them.
People who aren't focused or do not want to sort out something would probably end up blaming an entity or situation - including people or conditions. The people are therefore labeled stupid or the conditions are labeled horrible.
Exactly. And this goes for all name calling too, really. Name calling solves nothing. It just escalates conflict.
That is strong stuff Derek and a really good point. that flips my perspective on the way I think of others. I don't want to be someone who is stupid because I think others are stupid and have not given them the chance to think it through.
Sharing this now with others. A great perspective to start looking at.
I think it can apply to business as well when helping customers because "educated" by helping them think it through which will lead them to your product.
Love this!
It took me a long time to figure out that 'I don't know' was way more powerful than bluffing my way through something I wasn't sure about. And now I am trying to teach my kids that 'I don't know' is okay if it's the truth.
When we label others we are displaying our fear and reluctance to make the effort to understand them. The labels share much more about ourselves than they do to prove our point.
This is absolutely fantastic... Like Kyle, this has really changed my perspective on things, especially during the election year! By the way, Kimo Williams sent me!
I have never met anyone that I can not learn from.
Thanks for the post Derek. Perfect timing.
Love your style Derek! I think it's time to take your wisdom, wit, great writing style and share it in a book. Put me down for a few copies if you decide to go for it!
Great article Derek! I hate falling into the trap of negative thinking, and dismissing people/ideas without fully understanding them. It's so disheartening to have colleagues say "No, that's stupid. We're not doing that."
Btw I just finished your book, loved it to bits. Always excited to see new posts! Thanks for all the wisdom.
Good insight Derek. Thanks for sharing.
Must be why people like to get answers from me.
Love this post!
Excellent point! Just as there no stupid questions - its just that you don't have the information yet, once you know the answer you no longer "feel stupid". It's just a state before you have the information to fill in the blank in your knowledge base.
I say "I don't know" a thousand times a day. I must be a genius.
Derek I just love the way you think. I believe we've all had those moments of impatience where it is just so much easier to say 'don't be so stupid' or 'he/she is an idiot'. But the words don't feel or taste very good when spoken. And I know I would be deeply hurt to know someone has plucked a moment from my life and characterized me as 'stupid' as a result of that moment. Thanks for talking about this. It's a great subject to expose.
Absolute BS. You can tell an idiot from miles away, you don't need absolute evidence for it. There's no such thing as 'jumping to conclusions'.
I have to admit that I do look at people who don't have the same values as me as a little less smart. I'm not talking about stupid, but I feel bad that they don't want to view the world from different lenses. They see things as just black and white and don't appreciate other people's opinions.
This is a great post. Really makes me think that I have to be the one that is more opened minded to closed minded people.
Reminds me of the bumper sticker that says, "Mean people suck." All I can think is, "People who tell other people that they suck are mean." Folds back on itself.
When it comes to being smart, as Susan Cain pointed out in her book Quiet, people often view "first talkers" as smarter than people who sit back and contemplate. She then went on to explain how Harvard trains people to take fast, decisive action, which supposedly puts introverts at a disadvantage.
.
Is it "right?"
Probably not.
But people are people... and as long as people continue to have a bias towards those who talk first, there will always be people who take advantage of it.
The key is to make sure you're not someone who's easily swayed by a first talker
And then, to your other point, about "I don't know" being a smart answer, I agree with you wholeheartedly.
But again, what we know to be true, is often drastically different than how people behave in the real world.
It reminds me of that research study by Don Moore. He noted "consumers tend to pick advice from those who express more confidence that they have the right answer."
So, in a room filled with people, if you have one person saying "I don't know," and another person saying "the answer is A," the person who has the answer is more likely to win people over... even if that answer ends up being wrong... because Moore went on to later elaborate that confidence trumps accuracy in situations like this.
Personally, I respect the people who can say "I don't know." I much rather them say that than get a wrong answer, anyway.
Maybe it's time we make t-shirts that say "Experts... It's time we respect the I don't know"
I have always taught my children and also followed it myself to make a distinction between a person and their actions. I correct people automatically when they say things like "I am stupid/dumb" etc., I tell them "you are not stupid/dumb", what you did was stupid or dumb or whatever.
We tend to forget to make that distinction between the actor and the action and I believe if we train ourselves to do that half of today's problems won't exist. Language and its precise use is so important - we use language very loosely.
I love this! I've always thought something along the lines of this but hadn't been able to clarify in the way that you have. Thanks!
Agree that calling people stupid is not smart but disagree there are no stupid people. There are stupid people just like there are evil, unkind, and all the other people. It's a side effect of the poor design of our multi-layered evolutionary ice cream brain and the unoptimal integration of its primitive and modern parts.
Without elaborating here, very much on target, Derek.
Sorry HTML filter removed some text in my previous comment.
This line was meant to be:
just like there are evil, unkind, and all the other {insert negative adjective here} people.
I like the way you've put it - labelling someone as stupid is circumventing a process, either a thinking process or a relational process. That's very helpful.
I often label my bad past decisions as stupid, not because I think of myself as stupid, but because I see those decisions as being the result of an amazingly, stunningly, incomplete thought-process.
Always good to read your posts, Derek, thanks!
I don't think anyone is stupid. I also don't think there is a single living being on this planet who is a loser.
We all make mistakes and are human beings. Sometimes, we jump to conclusions and sometimes we hold our tongues. Sometimes, we even forgive! Sometimes we project because we can't own what is deemed 'unacceptable.'
Seems like we're all just being human and learning yet another lesson in this school of life.
Thanks for sharing.
Never been steered wrong by your perspective. By the time we see it you've sat wih it for awhile and know the value in sharing it. This time was no exception.
Probably why the word 'sheeple' repels me.
-- Derek
Not only do I get things wrong, I miss the moment and usually take ages to get the point - by which time everyone else has moved on.
It's odd and doesn't appear to have much to do with intelligence or the lack of it.
Hehehe... I can never think of the word sheeple again without thinking of this comic!!
I guess you haven't driven through Staten Island lately Derek, Huh?
Very true Derek
I think it stems from a desire for closure. A strong human desire exists to have a final say. In reality there is little or possibly even no finality...in anything.
To illustrate: Think pre 1879. Ask anyone the question. Would it be possible to flick a switch and have a room magically lit without the use of fire?
Undoubtedly the answer would have more often than not been no. Was it the correct answer?
The greatest things in humanity are often not a product of people with high IQ's or even academic credentials. Imagination is a very under appreciated talent.
ah yes Derek you seem to be quite right. Jumping to a conclusion...easy to do, a straight line, no smarts required. Forming an assumption...straight line, pretty easy, no thought required.
Formulating a thought or opinion on the other hand, looking at all conceivable possibilities, learning and absorbing as much information, taking the mental twists and turns required to actually 'think' about a given subject and then sharing that opinion with the knowledge that it still may be wrong and open to others interpretation is indeed quite smart. I think.
I love that this makes you step back and think about whether you are dismissing something/somebody/etc.
However, I personally believe that the type of person I think of as "Smart" can use judgement/past experience to recognize when working with/dealing with some people is going to be a waste of time.
Name calling is not productive, no arguments there, but I've had plenty of situations where assuming that a certain person's perspective is going to be one-sided and unhelpful (thus politely ignoring it) has actually increased productivity, instead of thinking "well, they've been wrong every other time we've talked about this, but maybe we should continue to treat their ideas and perspective as valid, despite the mountains of evidence to the contrary".
That being said, I've never thought of "I don't know" as a "stupid" response - but it can be frustrating if that's what someone responds every time you ask them an important question.
When Imam Syafi'e asked 40 question, he just reply 7 of it.
The rest he reply "I don't know".
Imam Syafi'e is great muslim teacher / ulama.
Most of the time when I say someone is stupid I'm using that as a verbal short cut to mean they are "avoiding thinking by jumping to conclusions."
The rest of the time I mean they are of low intelligence.
Love you bro
People definitely use "s/he's so stupid" as some sort of blanket statement so that they can get over the thinking part where they try to break down and assess the situation - and leave it at that. It's a sort of mental laziness.
Great post, Derek. Looking forward to the next!
I think it was Mark Twain who said that "any man who declares himself no fool, usually has his doubts. "
I think that might apply here.
I dunno, there are a lot of people out there who do a pretty good impersonation of stupid. I watch, I wait, I hold my opinions, I cut slack - and stupid is as stupid does. It shows.
Great post Derek. This is a good reminder. Thanks.
Hell yeah! I will share this. It is right on the mark. I also enjoyed the great thoughts from the follow on posts. Thanks for connecting and staying connected.
Derek,
I'd tell you that you are just plain smart, but then I'd just be playing the same game, upside down and backwards. Instead, I will say that I love your points. They resonate with me.
Also, you provided me with a perfect quotation ("Jumping to a conclusion is like quitting a game : you lose by default.") with which to respond to a person who jumped to a conclusion without bothering to do any research or thinking, and said something that I hold to be rather ignorant and inappropriate. Hopefully it will give him something to THINK about without being antagonistic.
Derek, thank you for this 'post' which challenges one to think first before drawing conclusions or making judgments!
Another great nugget from the mind of Derek!
Thank you so much for sharing your insights. I truly believe you are making the world a better place one blog post at a time.
I think a large part of not putting others down is to have the self-confidence to pull yourself up. Self-confidence is an important starting point in life. Without confidence and self-esteem it's hard to put others before you.
When you are constantly worried about your place in line it's next to impossible to put others ahead of you in that line. Therefore people move to calling others out with words like 'Stupid.'
Thanks for sharing, Derek.
When I was a teenager I had a habit of calling people stupid. My voice teacher at the time was a very old, very wise person. Once when I declared a person stupid she stopped me and asked, "Is it really true that the person or is that person ignorant?"
I was about 16 & was completely unsure as to how to answer this question.
She defined it for me thusly, "Stupid people are incapable of learning, ignorant people have yet to learn. So, is this person stupid or ignorant?"
I had to admit the person wasn't stupid.
Yet she went further and qualified, "far more dangerous is willfull ignorance than stupidity."
That was a long time ago, but the lesson always stayed with me.
!!! Wow. Nice one! Thanks for posting this. -- Derek
I think Chris (#30) is thinking along the same lines as I am, in that the source for why we feel the need to call someone/something "stupid" stems from our primal need to make sense of our surroundings.
Think of our frustrations with those people (or that thing) as a length of rope or string that's been frayed on the ends and each strand is separating from the main thread... Calling someone stupid is a way for us to take our frustrations and cap them off with a tidy label, so that if we feel the need to pick that thread back up we can immediately understand why we dropped it in the first place - "Ah, right! They're stupid, now I remember why I stopped being interested in them."
Derek, it's an interesting paradox -- when we draw conclusions (sometimes prematurely) we limit our potential for understanding, and thus our intelligence. But by continually seeking new information and continually exploring the ins and outs of a concept we add more to our understanding, our perspective, and our insight.
Don't allow yourself to be satisfied with slapping a label on someone, because you'll often find your labels out of date. Stay inquisitive!
Hear, Hear!
Laurie (#43) - That's awesome that you were able to have someone so amazing in your life. The world could use more teachers like her!
I think that every one thinks. Sometimes it is just the circumstances, past beliefs or invested emotions that made them want to give up on thinking and just end things.
Not every one thinks on the same level though; nor will two person ever come together with the same background knowledge and experience.
I guess it is about exercising compassion, to give people the time and space to work out themselves, especially when we perceive they did not see things the way we do.
In any given situation, people always make the best available decision to them. Our best available decision is not the same as theirs does not mean that they never think at all.
So you are right, Derek. When we stop judging and give people space to embrace their decisions, no one is stupid, at all.
I've always given more people credit for being more intelligent and sometimes I have been disappointed and many times not.
Interesting commentary Derek, but I think it could be better if you illustrated how this mindset is detrimental to artists.
I.E. Don't treat your audience like idiots.
well, if that's the case, the conclusion should be smart people don't CALL other people stupid.. But to think other people are stupid is fine as it is a mental knee-jerk reaction.. So according to this article, the ability to think it through and not call others stupid in their face makes you smart.
This is so stupid. Just kidding
Keep it up, Derek!
Great points, Derek. This is why politicians are perceived as being so awful: because the voters tend to believe solutions that are "clear, simple and wrong" (Mencken) when they're promoted by people with conviction.
Literally, people get the politicians they vote for - whether it's a good idea or not. Complex problems require complex thinking and usually complex solutions - not chest beating.
Ditto building a music career, there is no magic bullet, no matter how appealing the simplistic solutions promoted by people who want your money might seem ...
I think this post is a bit stupid ;-) Or not ? To be honest, i don't know. There is another dimension to all of this. First, people are not stupid, its their behavior that is stupid. But when you are irritated by stupid behavior, it says something about yourself. Check out my post of a couple of weeks ago on "The Mirror of Gifts"
Nice one! -- Derek
Somebody knows something/some things you don't, thats why we have Google search.
I agree. Smart people don't think others are stupid. As humans we all have cognitive abilities and although you may not agree with someone's assessment it is not because you are smart and they are stupid but rather they don't have the same perspective.
As a student of life, entranapenuer and programmer I can say most things people see as stupid is because of a lack of understanding.
People do stupid things because they are not informed.
Just my 2 cents. Worth that much I assume.
The second you say "I know..." is the second after you've stopped learning.
I think that I'm going to disagree. While the primary point is true- you shouldn't just jump to the conclusion that other people are stupid, because it is often a form of evasion, I'd like to provide a counter example.
I've spent the last decade (probably two) believing that people were not stupid. I have always thought that anyone could be a programmer if they wanted to. I have thought that when it comes to politics they often take what is offered to them by the media without thinking about it because its the default -- but this doesn't make them stupid. On the contrary, it simply makes them busy. I have believed that when presented with a logical argument they most people would recognize the logical argument and be persuaded, or, find an error in the argument and be able to possibly show me the error in my argument.
But over this time-- and truthfully, I don't want to admit it even now-- I've found that many people have great difficulty thinking about certain subjects-- like programming. Many people can't simply teach themselves new skills like I can. (I don't worry about not knowing how to do something because I know I'll just learn it when I need it, but for other people this is a difficult task by comparison. I've had close friends tell me this over and over again that I'm unusual in this regard.)
I've spent more than a decade carefully providing arguments, honing logic, getting facts at my command for making political arguments with people, because I believed they were not stupid, that they were smart and willing to continue thinking about it. And I've found that many of them simply aren't willing to think about it at all. A is good, B is bad, and anyone who makes anything that even smells outside the mainstream is crazy and not worth listening to.
So, I don't think they are stupid. I think they've simply been trained not to think. I don't decide this as an evasion, I decide it as the only possible answer I can come up with to resolve the empirical data I'm presented with again and again and again.
There are two wonderful examples of what I'm talking about: Inflation. Many people have been convinced that inflation is necessary for the economy to function and that "deflation" is bad. I have utterly failed to get these people to recognize that there are two types of deflation (monetary and lack-of-demand-downward-spiral) that have different impacts. I think that because they can't just learn new things they can't easily learn what I'm trying to teach them.
The other example is global warming. People are adamant that global warming is happening, because they've been told its happening, even when presented with scientific proof to the contrary. There are many facts that disprove global warming (IR absorption of CO2 is less than water vapor, the planet is getting cooler, mars was getting warmer with the solar cycle as well, CO2 is getting higher even though the planet has been getting cooler, on geological scales CO2 gets higher *after* warming)...... but the response is either to link to other people asserting that global warming is happening as "proof" or to just insist that all scientists believe in it therefore its true (And "what other conspiracies are the scientists trying to put over on us?" etc.)
The thing is, there is no evidence that "all scientists" or even a majority of scientists support this theory. And if there were, that wouldn't, according to the scientific method, be at all scientifically relevant.
But they don't want to know that and they don't care. They've heard it, it fits their .... desires or biases... therefore its true.
Does that make them stupid? I don't want to think so, but it does by your definition above. ("jumping to a conclusion").
Am I stupid for saying that they're stupid? No, I've spent years trying and trying to understand why or how they come to this conclusion and the best I can come up with is that they're taught not to think and not to question the status quo or the mainstream perspective.
At worst you could accuse me of reaching that conclusion against my will-- it is only in the last 6 months or so that I've started to feel that my time is wasted and I should give up. (Plus when I was younger discussing politics was interesting because few people are interested in talking shop.... but now its no longer fun.)
I think I probably don't qualify as an example of what you're talking about. But your article is hitting a very sore spot for me-- one built up of years of frustration at being patient and trying and continually failing.
People aren't stupid. I do think they are being taught not to think, however.
Luckily, we have the ability to grow as people, and learn to be less judgmental about people and situations.
It takes practice.
Someone or a circumstance may seem to be negative, but we can learn from it.
Anything, even the most horrible setbacks, tragedies, and losses.
This is far more important- learning from what happens to us.
Move the world in your own way.
Great thoughts on jumping to conclusions and throwing in the towel on thought. It reminds me of a quote from John Steinbeck. Although just a snippet out of context, it reads, “Perhaps my greatest wisdom is the knowledge that I do not know." Then there's Weird Al Yankovic's bold and enterprising, "Dare to be stupid!" It's the root of all invention and discovery -- wanting to find out what we do not already know, or that there's much more to what we believe we already know.
Forest Gump.
And that's all I have to say.
Shrimp anyone?
Yea great and also Truth comes to mind
I don't think some people are stupid. I know it.
Us fish love your positive stuff and see your willingness to help others humbully keep up the great work Derek your one of a kind.
Hmmm. I haven't had time to read hundreds of posts. Has anyone pointed out the endless loop yet? If you see someone declaring someone else to be stupid, can you conclude that that first person is not smart (stupid) or would coming to that conclusion make you not smart?
Thank you for sharing your idea. I think it's a very new creative thougth when you propose: "Being stupid means avoiding thinking by jumping to conclusions." This is one of the first time I encounter this definition of stupid. Thank you.
And I agree that saying "I don't know" shows that I'm not smart but I'm not so stupid either: I'm enlightenedly stupid: knowing that I don't know. And that's the wondeful first step to being smart (if we do want to be smart about the subject).
And I would also agree that words are again just labels. And what I've experienced seems to suggest that different people tend to interpret/feel them differently. And also, sometimes people use these words quite liberally (just as some swear words).
Thank you for sharing your insights on 'being smart' and 'being stupid'.
Agree with the sentiment, but I think it is a little inaccurate.
Smart people don't *assume* people are stupid. Until the evidence demonstrates otherwise.
it's my weakness, I think all people are smart, and give them all the benefit of the doubt. Then conversation after conversation I realize who the smart ones are finally...
“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid.”
--Albert Einstein
Does the world need more compassion, patience, and understanding? Hmm. A policy of refraining from judgement and resisting the urge to dismiss can help, all the while encouraging engagement. What a win.
Derek, I love the idea of not jumping to judge.
How do you classify the destruction that people do to their lives, to their nations (Greece) ? People and nations do some really stupid things. Most people (inclusive yours truly) do some stupid things in their lives.
Since everyone is different; what is normal? We are all here to help each other; where one lacks the other fills in. Great message Bro Sivers!
we'll see ;-)
We don't know what we don't know.
This is as true for me as it is for everyone else. When I sometimes lose sight of this, I'm the one being stupid.
Thanks for the thought-provoking post.
Well, I'm smart, and I know for a fact that there are people who are stupid...
"There's no shortage of idiots."
From my point of view, being stupid or an idiot is what happens when you have either a lack of integrity or a lack of humility, although it is often a combination of both.
As I see it, the smartest phrase in the English language is the words "I don't know." Your point about there being no stupid questions is right on the money.
The stupidest thing is to think that you are so smart that you can put one over on everyone, and that no one will be able to figure it out.
Maybe I've dealt too much with the darker sides of the human spirit, but there is a point after careful analysis when it can become evident that someone is acting without integrity. At that point, you know they are being stupid. When you can figure out after careful analysis that an individual has a pattern of acting without integrity, then you know that they ARE stupid.
Jumping to conclusions is the result of a lack of humility. Foolishly thinking that you can somehow grasp an entire situation from the beginning without taking the time to analyze and study it, is acting stupidly.
It is possible for a person to stop being stupid. They need to begin to act with integrity. Have some humility. Ask questions. Admit when they don't know something. Be honest. Eventually these will become habits of thinking, and the person won't be stupid any more.
Since everyone is different; what is normal? We are all here to help each other; where one lacks the other fills in. Great message Bro Sivers!
Calling someone stupid or an action stupid relieves you of the responsibility of thinking something through. Just as important is the mindset you are in while viewing or participating in something you think of as stupid. It comes down to as you think that is how you will view everything.
Derek, I often say "I Don't Know" , followed by "but I will try to
find out for you". None of us can have all the answers all of the time, so respect the question, and let them know you are going to try to help. I respect people who have said that to me! Always great to read your posts! Love you always!
Great post. Thought provoking. I like the way this type of short articles go directly to the point. Thanks!
I've always felt this intuitively, though I think I always just framed it as preferring to be around "open minded" individuals. I like the way you've framed it here even better though.
I agree. Smart people know that they really don't "know" anything. Therefore we approach each situation/experience as an opportunity to learn. Well put Derek.
Name calling is the last resort of the ignorant. On the other hand, there is the very real concept of having the courage of your convictions.
Not to have an opinion can sometimes be the haven of playing it too safe. Saying you don't know is an honest response if it's actually the truth for you. Saying what you believe is just as valid a response even if you're wrong. You can always admit when you're wrong ( well, some people can.)
Then there's the matter of real intelligence which is based solely on genetics. So I agree. You are either being smart or you are being stupid.
I think part of the problem stems from thinking that everyone is either in one camp or another. Intelligence falls on a spectrum, and everyone's native abilities fall somewhere on that spectrum. Labeling someone "smart" or "stupid" is just making an assessment of which side of an arbitrary line you've personally drawn on the spectrum from the least intelligent to the most intelligent as your own mechanism for defining "smart" or "stupid." This binary approach to thinking about something that isn't binary, seems to create a lot of angst across most of the debated topics today. Just a couple of thoughts to toss into the mix...
I personally change the word completely. I find myself using the words awareness and unawareness. So, here's to someone's unawareness. Without it, you wouldn't be able to find your awareness.
I respectfully disagree. It is important not to conflate ignorance with stupidity. Ignorance merely indicates that there is something a person has not yet learned; stupidity implies the inability to learn. "Acting stupid" is just an unwillingness to learn, but the fact is that some people are simply incapable. I do agree that calling someone stupid is an argumentative shortcut akin to violating Godwin's law, but it is an inescapable truth that some people are smarter than others.
To the extent that there is a concept of intelligence (whatever the definition may be--book smarts, street smarts, logical reasoning, etc.), some people will have more than others. Intelligence by any measure is heritable to a certain degree, and environment obviously plays a huge part, but to presuppose that every person is as capable of complex thought as any other person but simply chooses not to do so at certain times is hopelessly optimistic and naive. There are incredibly smart people (e.g., Einstein) and incredibly stupid people (I won't name names, but we've all encountered one or more people on that end of the spectrum), and most of us fall somewhere in between. There are people that, for whatever reason, either genetics, upbringing, or more likely a combination of the two, are simply incapable of complex thought. Many times people act as if they are stupid simply out of intellectual laziness, but for others, no amount of time or effort will let them act intelligently.
Intelligence by any measure is a trait that is not equally distributed amongst all people, and by definition, half of all people are below the median. Everyone likes to think of themselves as being above average, but many of these people are sadly mistaken. And unfortunately for everyone, many of these mistaken people tend to vote in elections, but that's democracy for you!
Since I've been called stupid in more ways than one, with expletives added after that, I can truly say it is a derogatory & demeaning thing to hear, especially from people you care about and have looked up to or went out on a limb for and they've conveniently forgotten all about that or didn't recognize what you did that was smart in the first place by their own willful ignorance or blindness. Another way someone will say you're stupid is to say you don't have "common sense." I would say that people who call others stupid or don't have common sense are too ignorant to know what they're talking about and judge by appearances only, think they know it all, are on an ego or power trip & they say it because they don't feel good about themselves. It might seem empowering to them to be that way. No one, in my opinion, is stupid. There is always something to learn from someone no matter what their grades in school were or the job they currently have or their social status or how much money they make or don't make. Another way of calling someone stupid is to say they are "slow." Someone said that to me about my brother who was right there when she said it to me. My jaw dropped when she said that & I hoped my brother did not hear her say that. I wondered real quick to myself why judge him like that and so quickly when she didn't even know him. My brother is schizophrenic and really shouldn't be classified as slow, especially with all that is on his plate. He's really one of the smartest & nicest people I know. Loving and caring people don't call others stupid. They say it because you probably have something they want and they can't have it. And yet, politicians seem fair game for being called stupid and that seems appropriate in some cases, especially when they demonstrate it to the entire world's population what the effect of their policies create for millions and even billions of people. And still, if we are a thinking people, a caring & civilized people, and not really stupid, why does it seem the same stupid stuff keeps happening? I guess we all could use some smartening up and that would not be a stupid thing to do.
I would agree with the sentiment that smart people don't think people are stupid. I prefer to question a person's stance to clarify why they believe their stance is reasonable. It really is quite charming to watch what appears to be a stupid stance unravel before their very eyes as your questions reveal flawed assumptions. Although it is far quicker to call them stupid!
Growing up, I was always told by others I was smart. First in every test, that sort of thing. I was the smart kid. Which meant everyone else was dumber than me.
Fast forward to now, my adult years. I feel that I am 100 times smarter than I once was. It is nothing to do with intelligence or test scores. I've just learnt enough to realise that I don't know everything about anything. I've learnt that every person, no matter how 'stupid' they are, has so much to offer if you listen to them.
You can't really be smart until you admit you're always going to be stupid.
When universal education was established here in the US there were six subjects considered vital to learn for becoming a good citizen: Reading, Writing, Arithmetic, Rhetoric, Logic and Music. Logic and rhetoric were seen to be tools needed for political discourse. Alas, these two (and music as well) have been removed from many if not most public schools. Our citizens are not encouraged - maybe even are discouraged - from thinking. People who think and ask questions cause trouble.
Debate, when engaged under rules of logic, has the potential of reaching a meeting of minds. What passes for political debate these days is nothing more than position statement. There is no attempt made to define the logical structure of the position and therefore no way to discuss policy in a constructive way.
Are our politicians stupid? Probably not. They are probably not willfully ignorant either. They might just be playing the game with a different rule book than the one they show us.
I don't know.
So resonating with me!
Yes, there are no stupid people, just people acting stupidly... and there are no smart people either, just people acting smartly.
I don't think any living person can/has to be labeled. Imagine a world in which each of us will be bumper-sticker-ed with an adjective. That would be the end of the world!
Great article Derek. You always delight me with your wit!
I've noticed over the years that some of the most annoying people are those who claim someone is stupid just because they have a different opinion to theirs.
This post just made me think about Bryan Stevenson's TED talk for some reason. And particularly the quote "each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done", or in this case the stupidest thing we've ever done.
So does this also work for good and bad? Because we are not good and bad people, we are people who do good and bad things?
So if a "good person" says that someone is bad because they disagree with them, then by that judgement are they doing a bad thing?
Great post though Derek, something for me to ponder and make sure I consider in the whole preconceptions challenge stuff I think. You really need to stop making me think so much!!
"only not-knowing" as they say in zen ;-)
Give the lawyer answer! => It depends.
Haven't thought this way, thanks Derek for this wonderful read
Hi Derek:
Behaviours come and go ...
Not sure I know what a person is, really; in their essence ...
Interesting observations though ...
All the best
Agreed!
How true. Great stuff.
I like it. That is re-framing at it's best. Thank You Derek you are an inspiration to me.
right on, Derek....that's why I ALWAYS read your posts. You have compassion and insight. Thank you.
Hey Derek! I totally agree. Decision making is a hard process when the answer isn't clear-cut. I sometimes get asked to give my advice. There seems to be some pressure to not say, "I don't know give me time to think about it." I want to be helpful but often end up saying the thing that seems the hardest to say. I would rather spend a few hours thinking it through and give my true opinion then fire back without thinking it through.
But smart people can tell when others are faking it.
I find that calling someone stupid does not usually result in that person being more open to learn from my superior wisdom. In fact, if I call you stupid, you will either stop trying, because you believe me, or you will keep doing the thing I think is stupid, because you feel defensive and need to take a position. Either way, things won't get better.
If I can come over to your side and see what the world looks like from where you stand, maybe you won't look so stupid to me. And maybe I will learn something from you. It could happen.
Or am I just being stupid?
For me it's about fear of the unknown. I find that my own knee jerk reactions are often an effort to forestall the unknown, the gap, the distance between what I can comprehend and that which is unknown. Therefore, patience, contemplation is the willingness to live with the unknown...and the fear that comes with living in that ambiguous state...even if just for a short while.
Derek...as I've told you before I find your work to be profound and insightful and from the heart. Thank you for it ... it enriches me...in a non-material sense!
-Aldo
ultimately right or wrong (smart or stupid) choices are only relative to one's own journey.. one persons stupidity will be anothers genius ~)
This is the stupidest thing I have read today. Congratulations!
This is so true and so obvious
When I'm tempted to think another person stupid/rude/unfeeling/self-centered or any other "name," I remember what a wise person once told me:
"There are 10,000 reasons why that person did/said what they did. 9990 of which I know nothing about." And that's only if it's a friend. If you don't know the person, you likely nothing about 10,001 of their reasons.
what is "smart" is Derek writing these think pieces and then reading everyone's responses...down the rabbit hole I go, with pleasure! Thanks Derek
x Tina
I enjoyed this useful article and will share. Sometimes a person may be gifted in certain areas, but damaged from birth from accidents, etc. and certain areas of the brain impaired. Like crack babies, those suffering from severe fetal alcohol effect, genetics, home and social influences, traditions, etc....
We must be careful of harming others by our actions, thoughts and words. Let us look at what is right and help with what seems to be out-of-line after all information has been examined (if possible).
Cutting others some slack is a good practice.
-Someone who knows
So simple, yet so powerful. I sure love having you in my email inbox ;)
Once judgement comes into play, the game is over. I always love the thoughts you inspire in all of us who comment because we value living more fully, more intensely and even more stupidly. THAT'S WHERE THE FUN IS !!! WHERE WOULD BLOOPER SHOWS BE WITHOUT THE STUPID? WHERE WOULD THE DIGITAL UNDERGROUND BE? The Rolling Stones 45 "Stupid Girl" , I don't quite remember, but was it the B-side of "Paint It, Black?"
Leave it up to Derek. I have been acquainted with him since the old school CD Baby days. His insight is always refreshing, inspirational, motivating and enlightening although just recently i referred to a woman as stupid when she made a left hand turn right into my driver-side door while not paying attention (she was texting to be specific). My son was in the car and got thrashed against the passenger window. Maybe she wasn't stupid but she def was not being smart.
stu·pid/ˈst(y)o͞opid/
Adjective:
Lacking intelligence or common sense.
noun. fool - goof - tomfool - booby - dolt - imbecile
Best Derek and thanks as always for sharing.
I love your posts and I also love all the discussion occasioned by your posts. I like the ones who ponder and say so - well, yes, but maybe no...
I'll probably continue to think of some people as really smart. I'm not sure I think of anyone as really stupid, except in some kind of reactive flash. In my work as a computer helper I find that some people simply don't get things, and sometimes I conclude that they probably never will. But I don't think it's because they're stupid, only that they just simply don't think "that way."
On the other hand, when a person can't figure out that they could take the scrap of paper they just left on the counter and instead turn around and throw it in the trash... that person I think is plain stupid.
With this, what do I reveal about myself?
I think everyone is capable of being "stupid" from time to time. It really depends on the situation and the actions taken by someone. I don't totally agree with the title of the article entirely because in order to actually be smart you have to be able to realize someone's stupidity. Now, does it mean they are entirely stupid? Not really, but maybe in some contexts it does.........it's really someone's interpretation on a situation. I mean we've all dealt with people that have no reasoning or sense about them right? Here's the definition of "Stupidity":
Stupidity is a lack of intelligence, understanding, reason, wit, or sense. It may be innate, assumed, or reactive - "being 'stupid with grief' as a defence against psychological trauma",[1] a state marked with "grief and despair...making even simple daily tasks a hardship."
Excellent - gonna take a few weeks of pondering - maybe a life time Love everybodies comments too. Yes Excellent.
Oh purlease.
Some people ARE stupid.
While most of the time it's a case of ignorance, selfishness, misunderstanding, or just a different point of view, some people are simply stupid, and it makes no sense to dress the fact up in politically correct garb.
In our house, when my son was small, the word stupid was one of the only "time out" words. It was never used. Period.
When people use this kind of label, it means they have suspended thought and rendered judgement.
It is akin to calling someone Evil. It is the first step in dehumanizing a person or group, and always leads to more conflict. The only thing left to do after that is to join a political party or other cult.....where all the dogmatic decisions are made for you...
No matter how strongly I may believe I know something, I always leave open the possibility that someone else's perspective is based upon additional information that I am ignorant of. We can never be too sure of anything.
Aristotle was considered "stupid" because he was one of the first to state that the earth was round. Go figure
"There are no smart people or stupid people."
What? Mensa disagrees with you. As does The Arc, advocates for those with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Since no one would sensibly argue against the range of human abilities, you must be addressing the situational/contextual differences that arise between relatively equal people with different applicable experience.
Etiquette evolved over hundreds of years to cover up these differences between people in personal situations. In business, where we cannot escape our obligations with simple manners, the business goals and their attainment usually are the judge of smartness or stupidity.
Harvard Business Review noted results of a study in 2004 indicating most Americans prefer qualities like friendly or nice above those like competency in their co-workers. But I'll risk any backlash of countering public sentiment by defining stupid in a narrow context that many other people will appreciate.
People are stupid for applying their personal experience in pursuit of their personal values that is directly conflicting with primary business goals.
Any lesser definition of stupidity in the business context is trivial.
Stupid like Yoda.
I agree with you Derek. Smart person wouldn`t judge, but will look for solution. Everyone has own experience, thoughts, believes and emotions, which create reality. The world is what you think. That is why one person can appear in 100 different characters to 100 people. Everybody of 100 will see this pereson differently. If I believe everyone has a good heart, I will view all people this way. If someone seems to appear negative to me, it means I have simular problem I have to work on. If you are smart, everyone looks smart to you since you will intuitively communicate with smart people. Like attracts like.
I believe is wrong in the first place of thinking this way.
You probably haven't met stupid people or you are acting stupid to start this blog post in the first place.
According to the dictionary, stupid means lacking ordinary quickness and keenees of mind. That said, there are thousands and thousands of people who have that problem. Thus, they ARE stupid.
A wise person can learn from a fool, but a fool can't learn from a wise person. Always a choice I guess. And.... if you spot it you got it....
No, YOU'RE stupid! (just kidding, I don't really think that)
Thanks Derek for new article.
1) the smart one doin stupid
or
2) the stupid one doin smart
(only the firts is the smart one),because he is smart he can do stupid but in His work He's smart.
Best Regards
Jan
Very well said, Derek. We should never jump to any conclusion. When we jump to conclusions, most of the time we're wrong and have misjudged someone. If we wait, the truth about whatever the conclusion we may jump to will show itself. Never jump to conclusions.
Derek, as you know, "stupid" does not actually exist. There are merely people with expertise in certain areas and deficits in others.
I know more about music and economics than my mechanic....but he knows more about fixing a car than I could ever hope to fathom.
I am an imbecile in all things automotive.
I know more about history and English grammar than my building janitor.
But he is a refugee from Iran, speaks five languages, and has a Phd in Chemistry. Since his fluency in English isn't perfect, he has a problem obtaining a teaching job in that area of his expertise, so he grabbed the first job that came along to support his family.
I am a moron in all things related to chemistry.
Years ago, I wrote a song called, "Prayer for America," and there is a line that states, "step into my church and pray, for a nation growing dumber every day." In many ways, I regret using the word "dumber," but in a song, sometimes you resort to an expedient adjective because there is not enough time to explain your philosophy of the mind.
In reality, America has some of the most high powered intellectuals in the areas of computers, robotics, nanotechnology, genetics, aerospace, military hardware, etc. In that respect, America is far from being a "dumb" nation.
Yet in other respects, America is far behind other nations. For example, Canada has been on the metric system for some 50 years, even as America continues to measure things in pounds, inches, and Fahrenheit degrees.
Unfortunately, the average working American, often forced to hold two jobs for survival sake and sleeping a mere four-five hours per day, lacks the time to introspect or educate himself on topics outside the typically mundane job(s) he must perform.
I don't believe in "dumb," I just believe that some people lack awareness on certain topics concerning the many permutations of debate.
I believe very much in the adage, "the more you learn, the less you know." Effectively, what that means, is that as you educate yourself concerning the many arguments about a particular subject, it becomes increasingly difficult to see things in "black or white." Instead, increased education about any topic usually leads a person to see life more in shades of grey.
However, it is difficult to conduct life on a foundation of uncertainty, so we generally are forced to "pretend" we have categorical knowledge about all variety of issues.
In conclusion, over time, as part of being an "adult," I have become a reasonably good actor, pretending to have certainty about all variety of topics.
But, here in Los Angeles, there is an old joke that goes as follows:
a model is a "dumb" person who aspires to become an actor someday....and an actor is a "dumb" person who aspires to become a director, producer, or politician someday......and a politician is a "dumb" person who goes into politics so he can meet actors and models.
In my own case, I'm just a shadow musician with a minor degree in acting, and that probably places me fairly low on the intellectual totem pole of society.
Love it. The "I don't know" reference is very true. I believe that admitting one does not know, and then delving further to find out is proof of ones intelligence.
Our perception which leads to our presumptions, expectations, deductions and conclusions, is mostly clouded by our acculturation. It is so much easier to rape and kill numbers than individuals. We all have to know how to listen carefully, willfully, and let our ears lead our minds. Bless You.
Good point. A reminder that name calling is just a veil for laziness and when you are being really smart, you are working through the complexities of the problem to figure out how everyone reaches the solution with you. A fundamental premise of Getting to Yes.
Keep thinking.
Peace,
Todd
Right on Derek! I have learned through continued observation that there are no stupid questions, only stupid answers!
"Stupid is as stupid does."
-Forrest Gump
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
-Albert Einstein
Very true. Personally I learned it early thanks to my 15 year old brother. A lot of people my age (27) are critical towards anyone who does the slightest thing wrong and very quick to drop snide remarks and thumb their noses at them. Never underestimate people!
Nice sentiment but not entirely true. There are more ways to be stupid than simply jumping to conclusions, which even intelligent people do. Some people simply refuse to exercise the brain they have and *that* is stupid. Declaring someone stupid is sometimes putting the brakes on thinking but not always. Sometimes it's just calling it as it is. Your assessment is too general to be entirely true. It's only true in some situations.
On another note, the one part that is dead accurate is "I don't know" being an intelligent answer. Only a fool pretends to be knowledgeable on something he's not and nobody is knowledgeable on everything. The mature and intelligent man easily says "I don't know" and therefore doesn't look a fool.
I prefer to think of humans collectively as naive. The proof of that is that too many smart individuals believe in unproven theories, fall prey to con men, and are not able to establish priorities, preferring to dwell on the superficial rather than concentrating on those things that truly count in the course of a lifetime. They can't be labeled as stupid, but we humans are on a course for extinction as a consequence of our collective behavior. Surely that can be labeled as stupid behavior.
Ian
Oh no, this contradicts one of my favorite quotes: :"Stupid is as stupid does" :D .
For me, it's about consistent behavior - a smart or decent person can occasionally do something stupid or crappy, while stupid people make it a habit of being stupid and/or crappy.
"We'll see!
Or
"You can't fix stupid" (Ron White)
I agree, Derek. Ad hominem attacks should be dismissed. Better to argue about the substance rather than the messenger. On the other hand, hypocrites deserve to be called on their hypocrisy as well, but that is separate from the issue being argued.
Derek,
Out of the corner swinging. Bravo.
I liked the story format and introduction. The length of the piece is impressive. The content?! Well said, well thought out...you have a marvelous habit of pointing out the not so obvious in a way that ruffles the least feathers with the most truth.
Thank you for the consideration and time taken to write the blog; as well as a chance to sound in.
Best regards,
~ stefan
Hey Derek, I have been guilty of being one of those people that say "They are so stupid!" It has toned downed a lot over the years and I think it is because when you start a business and realize so many mistakes you make that you realize how many people may have said the same thing about you or your own decisions over the course of time.
They may have not told you to your face, thought I wish they would have since I would have saved tons of money and time on stupid decisions.
Now, to go deeper I think that if someone really feels that person said, acted or did something "stupid" that person should immediately think...WAIT A MINUTE...Why did they do that? What could possibly have led them to do that??? Perhaps I don't know all of the information and history of that person to know what led them to that situation. Before with staff I may have said, that is "SO STUPID" Now I have turned that to a "That's really interesting, why did you think or do that?" And continue to question their thought process....
Here is a really good example of something that happened to me yesterday. A competitor has this really big large website with a whole step by step online application system which is quite good. Then I noticed they would be accepting applications via e-mail???? I was like that "is stupid"??? Why put so much money on an online system to go BACKWARDS to e-mail when you spent so much money on the system. Then it hit me! They had a huge problem with their system or operations being able to work properly and in order to solve it they needed to accept application by e-mail because they didn't know or were in the process of fixing it. Perhaps when they created their system they thought of X but didn't think of Y. They in their own way make it seem to the user that they are being more open and less intrusive with an "e-mail" but in reality they may have had an issue with the entire system and are making
it easier for the operations to get the customer do the application online without being online, per se.. So, was it stupid for them to do it? I don't know ;)
"the dunce" has no hands and a bite out of his back...careless words can hurt and even scar.
the essay reminds me to take care.
This is pure genius, such an important thing put in such a simple and straightforward... i can only bow to this genius....
"Stupidity is the major building block in the universe" (Frank Zappa)
I confess I am guilty of this; I get very frustrated. Thank you Derek for your good perspective. Deep breath. I will try to internalize this.
That's true! After all - every one got the same resources (a human brain + ...) - so it depends on whether they use it in smart way (by really using the computing capacity of brain) or in a stupid way (without any processing, fetching the result from the memory or some other sources).
You are so right. When I was 7 years old my mother moved us from New York City to Mexico City. My younger brother called the poor Mexican natives "stupid". My mother corrected him explaining that these people are not stupid, just uneducated. How right she was.
One should speak to all people regardless of their walk in life with the same amount of respect until and unless they prove they don't deserve it.
"We were put here to help others. Why the others were put here nobody knows."
It is very important to never assume that you have important knowledge that others don't have. It is sometimes an advantage to act stupid
reaction to post # 57
Identity
Jay
I agree with Jay and with Derek but both comments are not on the same level
Deep in us we know that when I am hungry I cannot feed myself with imaginary bread . So logical arguments are fine, assuming that the premises of logic are correct. So everybody likes them because they make sense and do lead to facts not illusions.
If everybody wants them and they do, stupid pl do not exist.
Still there is another player on the field regarded by the majority of ppl as far more important than the stream of logic: feelings. As soon as there is a conflict between feelings and thinking the more intense the feeling the more ppl listen to her.
THE reason behind it is our identity which does not necessarily coincide of what we intellectually understand, but always coincides with what we feel. Some ppl may belief their identity is always logical, I agree. But the proof is not that they think they are, but the lack of conflict between feelings and thinking assuming now that the conflicted feelings are not suppressed. So wgen a logical rgument is not accepted or denied, it looks (extremely) stupid from the outside, but from the inside feelings do make sense. The more important the feelings the more they resemble a kind of ideology anchored in identity. 99.99 % of ppl will disown their thinking in favor of their strong feelings. that is why the test that you are different is sooooo satisfying. Which test? Bungee jumping :D
I think you are been very kind. Some people do stupid things even people who think they are smart. Someone could be an expert in a certain field but if they get drunk and drive their car into someone's front door even the most reserved opinion will conclude that they must be stupid especially if you are known to be a very smart. Politicians who are generally clever are sometimes renowned for their stupidity. We don't have to dig too deep to prove this.
I like this discussion. It's about coming from the heart.
I want people to treat each other, the planet, and all living beings with love and respect. When they don't, I often fail to love and respect them. So, I become like them. I do better when I decide to be an example instead of a cop.
Attacking other peoples' self-esteem, whether it's by criticizing their intellect or some other aspect, is often an attempt to raise one's own self-esteem. It's about as effective as eating junk food to raise one's physical health.
I don't know about this one, Derek. There are stupid people, as evidenced by a pattern of repetition -- consistently doing stupid things, acting and reacting stupidly, and, perhaps, even thinking stupidly. The distinction should be made, not in a semantic sense, but in context of intent. One who deems another "stupid" is either expressing opinion or judgement. The first just is or isn't -- it's one person's perspective. The second is turning the inward mirror out, deflecting observations of personal weakness, and impressing onto others.
"very interesting derek ..enjoyed you prudent very profound topic..which i really really enjoyed reading slowly on each word in fact, to understand fully. ..And if i might link to this topic, having a bearing in life and being led by Jesus Christ, is to be the beginning of being a new person and therefore when a person comes to say something about another, he or she will think twice this time, before they say it!..Not to mention the negative side effects in a situation where somebody acusses the other of using the word "stupid"..I also, think that immaturity is a an element, so unless the person decides to change route to the better, unfortunatly the pride can remain..And pride has a role in all things negative in the human character! .."
I couldn't agree more, brilliant as usual. Thanks Derek
I think there's actually a rational reason for this irrational behavior. Man is a social animal. We form groups because groups are good for our survival. Some groups, such as family, we do not choose and other groups, such as political party, we do choose (though there's actually some evidence that party affiliation may be more ingrained than we think).
These groups provide safety and security. For those groups we *choose*, however, this isn't always the case, but as we're social, we can often get the same comfort level. However, because no one really likes to admit that they're wrong, it's very easy to assume that the "other" is wrong, even if this is not the case.
This could actually be a survival trait as it reinforces group cohesion. Fear of the unknown and the bonding with your own group are powerful factors for group stability. Attacking (even verbally) other groups could be beneficial even if your group is wrong.
Sadly, we should be able to get beyond this, but it's hard :(
Being smart is choosing the best course of action. Being stupid is not the opposite of being smart. Not thinking something through is not necessarily being stupid. For example you may be impulsive and correct. Time is often an important factor when making decisions and there is often not enough of it to consider every possiblilty.
I agree Derek. If you learn from stupid things you do, you're being smart. If you don't learn from stupid things you do, you're learning the wrong way. If you're learning the wrong way, change the way you learn. So imo, there are only people who can change and people who can't change. There are only people who are self-aware or not self-aware.
There is no need to judge really.
From my experience, there are two types of 'people being stupid': those who haven't learned yet and those who refuse to learn. I try to be a part of the former category, although my stubbornness at times pushes me in the latter.
"Come in no.57!" Jay, I empathize with what you've said as much as anything else because I have had the same discussions and gave the same expalanations (more or less) about the same subjects!
--
Derek - wonderful essay/post - this is a well examined topic and of great importance. Great beenfit for me too.
I agree with avoiding in fact re-thinking any temptation to call out stupid when that's not the true story which is well night every time, yet still must call myself into account for slipping a little way down that slippery slope of contempt when the word starts to blink it's neon siren call!
Thank's so much. And to all those who have commented. Best wishes, Roger
Stupid people will love this!
Excellent point. That saying "assume makes an ass out of you and me" comes to mind.
Definitely easier to call someone an idiot than to go all Malcolm Gladwell and find the deep roots of an issue - but honestly, I think sometimes (only sometimes) it's healthier to make that assertion and walk away than try to understand.....kind of an issue of picking your battles and cutting your losses.
Always a pleasure to see you writing, Derek. Thanks for stirring the thought pot.
That's one of the shortest, most compassionate couple of paragraphs ever!
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it open.
– Arnold Glasgow, American humorist
Unfortunately I'm not as gifted at being brief!
Especially with children I think what you have said is so important. Rather than giving up on the ones that don't undertsand right away I would rather see more time put in to achieving the goal(knowledge, understanding) rather than labeling those children and allowing and helping them to fall behind. Finding a politically correct term for stupid does not really help those children.
When dealing with a stubborn, malicious adult, even a criminal, undertanding the the problem would lead to better treatment of it, although this might sometimes mean harsher judgement in order to protect self/society in ways that we don't right now, here in Canada any way.
If problem children of every sort were not given up on, and if we went beyond that first easy answer when trying to understand them, maybe we wouldn't have so many criminals in the long run.
Here's to more sitting around with friends or colleagues and thrashing topics, problems, and opinions out until they are thoroughly understood.
Unfortunately, in our culture, "smartness" is tied to time. We use the words "quick" and "slow" to mean "smart" and "dumb".
In our education system, those who finish within a set amount of time are the "smart" ones. "Slow" = "stupid". The quicker you can get the "right" answer, the "smarter" you are.
The "quicker" you learn, the "smarter" you are.
Real intelligence does not reside in the brain. It is everywhere, dormant or vibrant, depending.......
So well said. And, this makes me feel so much better after being yelled at by three clients yesterday. It was the same thing that you mentioned above. They were so frustrated by the process and what was required, they were just ready to write it off and give up.
This type of thinking holds truest in a vacuum. Being mature enough to not comment on how stupid we all are ... and to find another person's strength (like, some folks are great mechanics and others gardeners) instead of pointing out their weaknesses heads in a very favorable societal direction ... but we must never lose sight of our stupidity. Our saving grace will be the moment we freely admit how unintelligent we are and stop pretending that we are in any way superior to even a mud puddle. Or a twig.
It's not smart or stupid. We all can think. The problem is ignorance! If you have information provided to you and you choose to ignore it, then it's your own fault when you don't know it. I'm not saying believe everything you say. But consider it and verify it.
Very educative reminder of the necessary social etiquette of a wise person, and the damage one can do to others by being too readily dismissive.I love all the comments concerning the reasons why we do it - for our self-esteem (falsely) and I suspect, because of a longing for clarity about wrong and right in a muddled world. From a business perspective I have learned of my own stupidity from all the contributions above as well. How useful! Thanks to all. I wouldn't want to demonise jumping to conclusions, though, as a great deal of that imaginative development that Einstein was talking about comes from that ability, and I believe it is going to be one of the events in our forthcoming Olympics.
We probably just have to think a bit first before we pronounce anything.
Exactly! Isn't it true that we should show some patience before blaming someone, or referring them as a stupid? They might have their own side for not getting things done, without knowing the other side of the story just reaching to the conclusion and blaming them is pointless..
I agree.
Strategically, "I don't know" is always a good opening gambit. However, what if everyone in the room used it?
Gut feel *is* vital to establishing human truth because it's often uncontaminated by strategy and agenda. It might not be right, but it serves as a springboard to others. It's risky, too - first talkers often get it in the neck from others. But without them, this blog, for instance, would just be a white space with the occasional "...". And Derek might have become an ice cream vendor ;-)
Thanks Derek.
Reminds me that 1) it’s not easy to stay continuously aware or present, and 2) it’s very hard to quiet the Judge that resides in all of us.
We’re all so busy putting things into their respective “boxes” so we can move on with our own life that we don’t consider what another person really said or did.
Reminds me of the quote: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”
Smart people don't think others are stupid ....because once you use that label you shut the door to learning.
Maybe, a truly smart person recognizes that labeling others does true damage to the human soul..both theirs and those they label.
Derek, does this imply that smart is good?
Apparently, King Solomon believed someone could be a fool, but that the greater fool is the one who thinks he is wise.
Proverbs 26:12
"Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him." (ESV)
Absolutely, Derek. Well said.
"Smart" people attract "Smart" people and have the ability to influence more people to be "Smart."
Great analogy Derek! I also had a nice grin with the 'more to the story.'
Good Points. In many subjects this is correct not to call someone stupid. It is hard though when they are being stubborn though and unwilling to open their mind to different musical concepts. For example atonality. SOme people hate it and tell me how bad it is , and i try to explain the ordered system used to create it, which takes acquired knowledge. In my anger i have insinuated that they are stupid for not being more sophisticated in their musical knowledge in order to accept these different sounds. Now i have realized that insinuating they are dumb or calling them stupid does not work even if in fact they are being stupid and dumb. People get offended so easily and they often don't like facts or truth about certain things. Another topic often discussed is religion and i find people who do believe in a 6,000 yr old earth are stupid and ignorant and when they refuse to look at evidence in their stubborness they are simply dumb. However i learned that the name calling does not work because people are so fragile and they don't want to believe they are wrong about anything. I hate to say it but there are sheeple and because they get so offended to new ways or changes it causes division in our world/ We are all different and i think we have to learn to accept the idea that others will believe in ways and things so contrary to what we think etc. Sometimes in life it is best to keep mouths shut when dealing with people who lack knowledge. We as humans are gullible and sooooo easily offended. Maybe i should have not said anything. Yes, i have been stupid for calling others stupid.
Adjective:
Lacking intelligence or common sense.
Ha. I lack both sometimes. Gut feelings, emotions, humanity, time management.... I can live with being stupid as it has rewards. Smart people are annoyed by me.
Obviously you hit a nerve here Derek. Good for you. People have been building themselves up for years by putting others down. Listening to someone is the only way to find out why they feel the way they feel and to learn. No one has all the answers and there are no stupid questions. Have a great day and congrats on your success!
As Forrest Gump would say "Stupid is as stupid does"
Kim Yarson
Once again - right on the mark Derek. I have generally found in life that people think they are being smart when they find something wrong with something or someone or some idea, etc. Negative criticism has become associated with being smart or intelligent. I've always leaned to the notion that builders are smart. You can build things, ideas, relationships, etc. That's my thinking on being smart. Thanks for fueling me once again Derek!
perfect morning for this thought...so easy to jump the gun ey....many folks feel their uneducated "opinions" are law of the land...now that makes them stupid!
Stupid is as stupid acts.
Only stupid people use the word stupid. Most people mean ignorant when they say stupid.
Smart is relative. There is no such thing as a smart person (unless it is a person who dresses well). So comparing smart and stupid is ignorant.
The opposite of ignorant is informed. The definition of uninformed is "anybody who disagrees with me".
The problem is, well-informed people are everywhere. They are just informed with lies and half-truths. This is the way politicians keep up divided. It works, so, we're stupid.
apparently you haven't done any prison time. 41 months here, when i was 18, where i got to experience STUPID. hundreds of stupid sad souls, murderers, rapists, dead body fuckers, crazy drug addicts plus.
fortunately i got to read walt whitman & abrahan lincoln & more. and decided never to go back to that hell. SMART.
stupid settles into the brain, you have to SMITE THE STUPID out of your/my brain and replace it with know thy self & watch out for craxy people & stupid people.
what were the 3 most common words once heard in america?
now?
i was stupid not to have spell check nor proof read better, thus several typos
Not jumping to conclusions is similar to "not making assumptions" per the awesome spiritual guidebook The 4 Agreements - http://amzn.to/A0WfwV. Another good agreement is "Be impeccably with your word," which is similar to the old addage, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Thanks for this, Derek. I love your posts! Joe.
"They say it to feel finished with that subject, because there’s nothing they can do about that. It’s appealing and satisfying to jump to that conclusion."
I thought these words particularly insightful (and convicting;)
relating to a situation I am currently in... thanks for sharing!!
Wow, Very Creative, Charismatic & eMpHaTiC- Derek has proven how different people interpret events differently. I remember Cracker Bob Announcer who always made fun of me because I used to laugh at him when he spoke. To him it seemed I was making fun of him & In my culture if you think & feel some thing funny you laugh in a respectful manner.
My friend Red Headed Akash told me Bob Announcer is crazy, Cracker Bob Announcer friend Tomy told him that I was in US for Mental Treatment.
I went to Cracker Bob Announcer & told him my laughing problem & he told me "When ever I see you I get more happy & jokes pop up in my mind". I told him "He is a funny announcer with a wit" So the U-Turn was both of had good views & respect for each & other but it came out when we talked to each other. I told Cracker Bob Announcer- He should work as an airport announcer & he told me I need a good hair cut. LOL
Thanks Derick once again for this Mind Blowing & Air Blowing Article. I also enjoyed your song.
Regards,
Adil
Hi Derek.
Long time reader, first time commenter here. You see the essence of things and people - that's rare. Don't you think that your idea is MUCH bigger ? I'd say that no one is right or wrong in absolute, they are only right or wrong in the context of their own perspective and context and those of others. Your thoughts?
Extremely interesting! I have a damaged brain unfortunately, and have to go with how I feel now, with little interuption, otherwise, none of my poems or songs, such as 'George Bush Blues' or the more critical ones get done. You are a much brighter person, fortunately, as you have proved. I tried to click on the song but it came up unreadable for some reason, although the previous items did not! Makes me feel our internet rights are being denied, possibly? Keep smiling and dance while you can, Derek!
Great Post.
It is about attitude, not the topic.
The only think I would have added is that it is pride that blinds us.
Unfortunately, pride is an emotion, whereas logic is reason. It is in that gap between emotions and reason that all problems flourish.
Every single person is a teacher! And we are also students. Great message Derek.
Hmmmmmmmm.....
Thanks Derek!
Have an awesome day today!
Rachel
Awesome thoughts! Thanks for sharing the brain food Derek.
Love it! Pride and Ego gets in the way of us thinking deeper sometimes. It stops us from channeling our energy into what's going on beneath the surface. Excellent example and love this post!
Ignorance is merely not taking the time to find all the possible answers! Yet another great article Derek!!!!!!!!!
This is a great post Derek. Calling someone stupid is simply a way to avoid admitting that you are unable to clearly articulate your point in a way that convinces that person you are right. On one hand it is lazy, because you are not taking the time to explain your point of view. On the other hand it is solipsistic because you can't accept that even if you did articulate your point well that someone could disagree with you.
On "I don't know" and learning. I agree 100%. I think there is a point to be made here about "core beliefs". Having convictions and beliefs is good to some extent. But when a belief has become a core belief then learning stops. In fact, no amount of evidence could ever change that core belief. You will then be willing to go through all kinds of pretzel logic just to preserve that core belief. Beware of core beliefs. "I don't know" is often better for learning, even about religion and life.
On taking time to come to the right conclusion. Well, I don't know. That is a tricky one. Sometimes using your gut and just executing is more important than arriving at the exactly correct decision. Other times going with your gut doesn't work out.
Thanks again.
But I like saying you stupid f76k.
It depends on how you define the word "stupid" as opposed to "ignorant." Ignorance is a condition where an individual does not know something but is opem enough to learn or at least become more aware. Stupidity on the other hand, is resistent to and in fact a condition that takes pride in thier ignorance. Sorry to sound strident, but the longer I live, the more I realize that yes, there are people who are stupid and there is nothing one can do to change it. In counseling situations, you say all you can, reason, offer alternatives, and finally you are still left watching them metaphorically walk over a clift into yet another personal disaster. That is why I got out of pastoral work and couselling. Calling someone "stupid" is a non-productive in a pulic or professional sense but is personally very satisfying as a venting vehicle.
thanks for that.
Since no one managed to bring it up in roughly 200 replies: Isn't the underlying point not only to differentiate ("he is not stupid but he stopped thinking") but really to stop judging at all?
How do I know someone really stopped thinking, stopped learning, or simply has another motive? Or trusts his guts?
Once I drove down a street in my town and a BMW, all tuned-up, cut my way, crossed a nearly red light and seemed to act like a mad man. I had all rights to think he's acting stupid, if not being stupid.
Later that day I came to know that the person who drove this car was bringing his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth to his son.
I have found that I can learn a great deal about anything by having real friends who totally disagree with me. There are people that I love dearly who on some of the biggest questions in life are on the opposite side, but we can still care about and actively be part of that person's life.
The first thought that came to mind is Bill Maher. "Anyone who believes that there is a god is stupid." There are people that I love very much who do not believe that there is a god, and yet we sit an discuss the nuances with the care of a healer, not the weapons of a warrior.
It is the same with politics. We are actually stronger when we really care about what that person who disagrees with us is thinking. To let myself ask them, "what am I missing?" is confidence in action. I have thought this through, but help me to see all of the sides in the way that an ally can.
A closed mind never learns...
Beautifully put!
It is worth noting that the old Native American way of making decisions was by consensus. All opinions were heard and respected and no one acted until there was agreement. Perhaps that's impractical these days, but the concept of respecting those who have differing opinions and encouraging positive, constructive debate is well worth working toward!
Thanks, Derek! - You Rock!
This is completely off the subject, but I realized after reading more of your words of wisdom that if someone asked me who in the world I would most like to meet in person, it would be you.
I think it all comes down to patience and understanding. The tendency to call someone stupid results from an expectation of timeliness not being met. Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and let people handle things in their own way. Certainly our inability to understand their method for handling certain tasks will not result in an immediate adoption of a process based on how we "would have done it."
Calling people "stupid" to end a conversation is sure a sign of frustration and lack of arguments, so I agree with your statement Derek in that specific context.
Nevertheless, it's in human nature to have certain individuals with higher (and lower) cognitive abilities, skills, advanced reasoning, etc., and there exists a HUGE statistic range in between.
Therefore we obviously have people who can think and act "better" than others. It's just plain natural.
The problem is with the way we say it. It's all about not hurting feelings.
I'd rather say to someone "You're not thinking properly" than saying "You're being stupid". And give good, clear arguments.
Greetings from Chile!
I totally agree with this. Being smart doesn't mean you have a right to say anything to anyone. Just because someone doesn't understand our point of view, doesn't mean they are stupid.
If we are lucky enough to live a long time, then "We'll see." Mark Twain wrote, and I must paraphrase: "Never argue with an with an ignorant person, because you can't win; they've had too much practice."
We are all so lucky, that you Derek, are still trying to help all of us in any way that you can!!
As always, your friend, Brad
Derek thanks for the link...I'd like to think everyone is an expert at something ..the hardest part is getting to know someone well enough to figure out what their expertise is...sometimes frustration and poor people skills get in the way.
Although words have been so very useful to humanities progress and are vital in communication, they have also been the cause of much distress and conflict. Words are just words. As a whole we all seem to agree or concur on a specific distinction of the meaning of a word, yet actually to the majority, each word brings up different memories and experiences that can change dramatically ones understanding of it . And not only does this occur from person to person but from generation to generation. I am sure the word "bitch"to a dog breeder has a different connotation than to our parents generation or to the present teenagers that seem to use it so loosely. Words as we feel them can hurt someone or bring them joy as is the case of the word "mother" to an abused or abandoned child compared to one blessed with caring parents. What matters aren't words in themselves. Words are just a sum of sounds we have convened to put a meaning to. It is how, when, why we are using them and the underlying intent that give them life. When we are to be read by many, we should be cautious as to clarify what we mean when trying to avoid misinterpretation. Anyways, I think there have been too many conflicts and blood shed caused by words and by beliefs. Respect is a must. Life and harmony and well being are too important to be harmed by "stupid" words .
An idiot . is what he is , by virtue of breeding , accident of nature or accident of birth. He has no choice in the matter! Those of us, who persist in doing and saying "stupid" things without benefit of those accidents, are willfully stupid! Cultivating and exacerbating our stupidity! We are known as "Nitwits" We are many! We are proud! We are known and loved by millions, and our numbers grow exponentially in a political atmosphere! Religious areas seem to be a "garden spots" for germination and growth also! Yeah! I've really thought this through!
I agree. Our capitalist system portrays the poor, rural dwellers, immigrants, and so many others as less intelligent. I have always found that every individual has unique perspectives and untapped talents, especially those who are ostracized, but many are intimidated by ignorance from above.
Speed in communicative response is not a sign of intelligence whatsoever. The brightest take their time to consider all factors and choose their words carefully, but radio and television constantly promotes hyper-active tirades as superior thinking. This is based on a militarized police state of mind and this system itself is one of total ignorance.
I understand your point, Derek. Yet the fact remains that there is more behavior based on "stupidity" (i.e. not thinking things through) than on "smartness" (an obvious example is the majority of people continuously voting against their own interests because they're falling for the lies of well financed media campaigns). It may not always be useful to call this behavior "stupid" in public, but I'll reserve the right to call it as I see it.
Obviously, you don't spend a lot of time with other people :D
But, seriously, great thoughts! I mostly agree, saying that someone is stupid just because you disagree with them is giving up on understanding the other persons position, situation they're in. And understanding their position would surely give you valuable insights, and enable finding the best solution to the problem at hand.
But some people are stupid. Not always, sometimes, ok. But they are, and it is not very smart to just rationalize this away. And also, sometimes it takes too much energy too keep everyone else's perspective in mind, so people often just say that someone is stupid to let off steam, and this to me is quite understandable.
Perhaps we should all be more careful with making judgments ;)
People are not stupid, they are what they are in whatever circumstance they are in. Only ideas, memes, systems, world views can be stupid. Phrenology is stupid, phrenologists just believe in something stupid. Extremely brilliant people throughout history have believed in very stupid things at times.
People are not stupid but it is our interpretation of human behaviour that we can judge others and dismiss this situation or another as being stupid. We need to have contrary opinions because this is why a diamond has it's luster. Our unwillingness to see another's point of view only limits our own. Therefore the more we can have an open mind about other's point of view the richer our lives become. Talking to children fascinate me, they are so full of p.o.v. and have no problem letting you know how they see the world. Thanks for your viewpoints.
I find that the word "stupid" is akin to a cuss word -- seems most people use it when they are expressing anger or frustration. Someone always ends up with the potential for hurt feelings.
The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master, When one is totally identified with his mind he views what is there thru a veil of opinions, judgements and conclusions and thus does not see what is really there and can't learn from it, so stupidity occurs.
Two things occur to me. One, there is a difference between jumping to conclusions and choosing to ignore incoming information that might change your mind. I don;t call that stupid, I call it lazy and defensive. It's like trying to drive from NY to LA, and deciding in Chcago you're tired of the trip, so you stop, and assert that therefore LA is inaccessible to New Yorkers.
Second, the labels are one more example of the principle that you don't make yourself bigger by making others smaller. It puts me in mind of the Brene Brown TED talk on vulnerability - http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html - where she points out that guilt is feeling bad about something you've done, while shame is feeling bad about something you are. Calling someone "stupid" is shaming them Why would you do that?
Like the old saying goes:
The more you know, the more you ralize how little you know.
I guess smart people know, how much say do not know and always room to improve.
thank you for sharing.
Petra
I agree that name calling doesn't do anyone any good and the word "stupid" could be quite derogatory. That being said... don't you think people have different levels of intelligence - that we're not all equal, despite our greatest desires to believe so. What do you guys think?
Good word Derek. The modern definition of idiot seems to include anyone with a different perspective, meaning everyone.
I have never been a fan of names or group labels. Even in middle school. I didn't like the short sighted nature of them. I remember thinking that it let people think they know who you are without even trying.
At the time, I thought I was more than any group or name could imply (maybe I thought a little highly of myself...), but that has carried on to my adult self where I do not like to assume I know anything about people based on some affiliation. I like to listen and understand because it is really hard to get an idea about someone or something until you've actually sat down and asked questions based on what they said or what topic is being discussed.
I do reach conclusions, but they are not firm. They are there, then when challenged, I reexamine them.
Enough self boasting.
Hey Derek,
Nice post - I should probably read this once per week just to keep myself in line, because you're absolutely right. The problem is, it's just so easy to jump to conclusions. It's so easy to call others stupid.
I think the smartest person in the world does pretty stupid things at times. It is a mindset (temporary or permanent) more than anything else, in my opinion.
Ultimately, smart is subjective. At the end of the day, we'd all do better by thinking more about our own behavior than others.
Cheers,
Tom
DEREK, GREAT STUFF! YOU ALWAYS COME UP WITH THE BEST.
HOW ABOUT THIS.........MY GRANDFATHER ONCE SAID TO ME WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.
"JIM THE FIRST TIME YOU SCREW UP, THAT'S AN ACCIDENT, BUT, IF YOU DO THE SAME THING TWICE....."THAT'S STUPID"
Hi Derek............
If I were writing this for a magazine or newspaper column, I would add that most people do not stop and think about their prejudices or their ego projections onto other people. Our language is constantly changing. Unfortunately, it also changes to make words and expressions to EX-clude others and keep them out of small groups of "chosen" few. Hopefully, to make us more inclusive and supportive of others.Thank you for this.......and for staying in touch.....I send you much love, light and peace, dear man.
May I post this on my FB wall? I am going there now and will check to see what might be on your FB page.....and guess accordingly....cheers!
Dismissive natures make it easier to digest life. Not better, just easier.
You are awesome Derek, well said!
I'd hope you'd take this as a compliment if I said you have a very Seth Godinish way to see the world and I love it!
Thanks Derek~
Good Article Derek- we probably all guilty of this now and then -
but it’s a killer strategy to play the fool and let other people think they’re the smartest person in the room – Act like you just getting what going on and they will never see you coming or realise where the real competition is –
that how Colombo won all his cases they never thought he had clue until he put the cuffs on, and always the same question – When did you figure it out? And always the same answer – From the beginning I just needed you to give me the evidence to prove it.
I didn’t think you could be in the police if you were that short and only had one eye, I in the UK so many be it different in the US..
I aggree totally,
I have met some very smart people who say stupid things,
and visa versa some very unintelligent people come up with some gems of wisdom sometimes.
But please, someone tell me how America wound up voting for
Mr. Bush TWO TIMES!!! Stupid???
Nice article...I conclude it's all about having common sense...some have, some have none
Within a rather broad range of people your viewpoint has some validity. But, come on, you have never met someone who is off the charts smarter than anyone else you know? In a related context I remember seeing olympic athletes for the first time in person. They are only barely in the same species (these were track and field athletes). Or consider a musician like Yo-Yo Ma and consider if he is more musically talented than others. If you ever met someone like Richard Feynman you would know there are people who are just plain smarter.
I think it's important to agree on a definition of "stupid" before we even go down the road of this debate. What stupid means to you may not be what stupid means to me. A couple of readers made the point that ignorance has to be differentiated from stupidity, which is a good point. But also necessary to take into account is stupid means to some people a person with a permanently inferior IQ that supposedly can't be raised no matter how much hard work the person does. These are genetic determinists. To others, stupid just means that someone tends to do a lot more stupid acts than smart arts, regardless of whether or not that person has the potential to improve. I agree under the former definition that no one is stupid, but I do think there are some genuinely stupid people going by the second definition.
nice - this reminds me of a conversation with my neice - she was around 8 years old. I did something stupid and she said that was a bit stupid wasn't it? i said yes i guess it was (and felt stupid) and then she said "I don't mean you're stupid, just that what u did was a bit stupid." Ace...childhood wounds healed!
doing and being are too often confused. shame we don't have the spanish (etc) 2 different verbs for to be - one meaning more permanent state (where u are from/identity) and one for more temporary situation (mood, how u are feeling).
keep keepin us on our toes and heads in tune with hearts derek
Humility is the key. There will always be a faster gun. Know that you don't know and be a life-long learner...and listen to D.S.! He's on it....
totally true. in a way.
and total bullshit. there are lots of dumb people out there. lots.
a clever why to say "don't assume, don't judge too quickly."
and that is wise.
but there are plenty of really synaptically-challenged people out there.
You have to look at all 4 sides of the issue involved
some "genius" will now say i'm stupid because of a typo, thereby missing the forest for the trees, and proving my point.
not that smart people can't be stupid.
and stupid people smart.
but there is a difference.
there are different kinds of intelligence though, and that would be a whole other discussion.
There are only two kinds of people, those who are willing to learn and those who are not. Call them whatever you want.
By the way, Derek, I write instrumental jazz. You can listen to some of it at www.rickcicconetti.com or at CD Baby. I sure could use a great salesman like you on my side! : )
You are a man after my own heart with this one, Derek! It's always the "other guy" who is stupid isn't it? Never us! That has always bothered me. What if we could be less quick to judge each other, and more eager to listen to each other?
three far too long thoughts in reaction to this post (if this is too long Derek, feel free to just delete this. sorry but you got me thinking :-P).
).
"there are no smart people or stupid people, just people being smart or stupid" - on the one hand I totally agree, but on the other hand part of the definition of these two words involves intelligence and that is measurably different in different people.
That doesn't meant that intelligent people don't do stupid things! Clearly they do all the time. And it doesn't mean that unintelligent people don't do smart things, clearly.
"stupid" is defined here on my Mac as "lacking intelligence or common sense". That's a pretty unfortunate definition as those are very different things! I know some geniuses who are VERY intelligent but who seem to be unable to exercise common sense because they are too busy exercising their intelligence on Big Problems (distracted professor anyone?
My dad pointed out the difference between "ignorant" and "unintelligent" to me relatively early in my life and this is an important and useful distinction to make in the context of this discussion as well, as at least one commenter noted.
So the confusion around "smart" always seems to be about the different meanings of "smart". Some meanings involve raw intelligence or cognitive ability and some are about being wise, strategic, thoughtful like I read Derek as speaking about in this post.
There are also multiple kinds of "intelligence" which makes this even more complicated. I think it's useful to recognize the different kinds of intelligence and to not assume that low intelligence of one kind means low in all kinds.
The interesting thing about "stupid" is that it is often used to mean either "unintelligent" (raw mental processing ability of a particular kind), "foolish" (silly or choosing not to think), or "failure to think things through" type of things. Clearly it's also used to mean "they don't agree with me" or "I don't want to think about this any more so I'll label it and move on", as Derek points out so well. "Dumb" is often used with similar meanings.
Derek uses "smart" here to mean being wise, using common sense, and not being lazy and labeling someone as "stupid" (unintelligent) just to avoid the work of understanding their perspective and reasoning, I think, but I think some will read "smart" and think of "intelligence". Since it's pretty clear that some people are more intelligent than others (on a particular scale of intelligence anyway) the readers who aren't distinguishing between "smart" and "intelligent" may be missing Derek's point, regrettably.
----
Some cultures think that each of us has the same amount of total "stuff" (potential, energy, gift, whatever you want to call it) and so if someone is seemingly low in one kind of intelligence or has no social skills, for example, then they *must* have something else higher than average to balance things out. So while they seem to be well below average intelligence, say, maybe they're a great musician, or a poet, or empathetic and able to help deeply disturbed individuals in need. The fundamental belief is that if a person seems to lack in one area, they have more in another - even if you haven't seen what that is yet - and that one may well want to spend the time to discover what that might be; the more so if the perceived lack is very great for that implies the potential for some great talent or gift waiting to be discovered or encouraged.
I like this philosophy of all humans having the same "stuff" (possibly "mana" in Hawaiian) or whatever one wants to call it.
----------
One thing that occurred to me lately is that the trouble we have in discussions in the USA (and the world I'd guess) is that there isn't a common definition of "fact" or how one determines fact or truth between various groups arguing about issues and honestly that makes conversation and discussion *very* difficult, if not impossible. I think this is actually the root of many of the disagreements we have in the USA today.
For some people the words written in a book (Bible or other religious texts primarily) are facts that don't need proof and in fact for which no discussion of their truthfulness is appropriate. Some people subscribe to the scientific method as a means of discovering facts or truth. There are probably other groups that I'm not aware of. These groups are having a hard time talking about very important issues in the USA (and perhaps in the world) because of these differences in what they consider "proof", "fact", or "truth" and until we figure out common definitions and ideally method(s) for determining what is "fact" or "truth", I think we are in real trouble.
If we don't agree on what constitutes a "fact" or "truth" then attempts to convince someone via logic are pretty much impossible I think. This is where I find people labeling others as "stupid" - when the other doesn't use the same reference points for what a "fact" or "truth" is - because this makes having a discussion with this other person feel useless; like having a discussion with someone with whom you share no words in common except it's less obvious than that because you do share a language.
I think we may need to work on this fundamental problem and leave all the discussions of other big issues aside until we resolve this for I don't think any lasting progress can be made until we do.
----------
A parenting story along this topic *:
I always had the sense that my son was very mentally quick and he learned to read way early, was able to read about and grasp concepts at a much earlier age than average (the danger of having books on math, quantum mechanics, music theory, philosophy, theory of computation, etc laying around I guess) and generally people kept telling us he was very different than other kids they spent time with. I shrugged it off for the most part as yah, sure he's a smart kid but there are lots of smart kids. I'm glad he's smart, it's useful after all, but I'm happier that he seems to be a kind hearted soul. In any case, by 7th grade standardized tests pretty well indicated that he's in the top 1% or less of the population in intelligence and knowledge as tested by such tests (which are clearly testing a *very* limited domain). Gads but that's uncomfortable to write - feels like bragging (yuck!), but I need to set the stage for my story:
At one point (2nd or 3th grade?) after skipping up several years of math classes such that he was doing math with much older kids he started to absorb what he'd hear the older kids and teachers/parents saying about him and said to me one day, "I'm really smart!" with a sense of pride. Not uncommon for kids to parrot the adults around them and a good reason for adults to regulated the praise to a reasonable amount I think.
I dislike arrogant people and far too many super intelligent people end up being arrogant and get frustrated with those less quick of thought than they are (or with those who just don't choose to flaunt their intelligence). So I thought about how to point out that being smart was a great thing but that it didn't make one better than others without crushing my son's ego or reducing his pleasure in exercising his intelligence (confidence is a useful thing to have!). Some short time later when he said something like that again as we drove home from school I replied with something like the following:
"That's great! Being smart is very useful. But it's only one aspect of being a great person. Are you kind? Are you a good friend to have? Do you make beautiful things? Do you stand up for the person who is getting teased or hassled at school? Are you a good listener? Do you work hard? Do you always tell the truth? These are all at least as important as being smart.
What I mean is this: being smart is very very useful and I'm glad you are because it can really help you in this society and there are some very tough problems in the world that we need smart people to work on and I hope you'll be one of those people. However, being smart is just one measure of a person and so being super smart doesn't make you better than anyone else because they can be much better at other things.
Also, being smart isn't enough. A hard worker can accomplish more than someone who's smart but doesn't know how to work hard. I think you might agree that being kind is arguably more important than being smart - who wants to hang around a total jerk who makes people less smart than them feel badly about it? No one. Sounds lonely to me. So I'm very happy that you're smart but I also hope you'll use your smarts to do good in the world and work on developing the other parts of yourself that maybe take more work for you to get good at. And most importantly, I hope you'll be a good friend to have, help others in need, and stand up for those who don't have your advantages."
I probably didn't do quite as good a job of communicating this at the time as I'd like to think (I never do, sadly), but this was the gist of what I tried to communicate and it didn't take many reminders for him to seemingly take it to heart (one benefit of having a smart kid - they "get it" quickly which makes parenting easier).
Just this year (high school) we convinced him to take an art class to try and balance out his "left brain" math/science/computing natural talent and focus, and while he resisted at first he ended up liking it and has made a great deal of progress in developing his artistic abilities.
Anyway, maybe this story will help some other parent think about "smart" and "stupid" and how to talk to their child about these things.
peace,
-Dad
* Note: I've intentionally used "smart" meaning "intelligence" in the above because that's the word that was used by my son back then and this is what he was hearing from others.
---
Derek,
Dr. Carol Dweck wrote a book called "Mindset". Bottom line is that there are two mindsets, growth and fixed. The growth mindset grasp that the anwers to something may be innumerable. The fixed mindset pigeon hole things because what is is just what is. So the person calling someone stupid is really perceptive or operates out of a fixed mindset. You be the judge. Ta ta!
The more I learn the more stupid I become. My grandpa told me that would happen.
I've been labeled both terms at the same time by two different people. If you try to convince the one who thinks you're stupid it usually persuades the pro person to switch sides. Abe Lincoln's idea: "better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt."
Remain Teachable... my two favorite words from one of my most favorite books, the NA Basic Text, which is a learning tool that I've utilized in my journey in recovery from drug addiction over the past 24 years of my life! I just celebrated 24 years clean May 11, 2012 and have made many smart and stupid decisions throughout those years... I still try to be a student and teacher of life and love on a daily basis and Remain Teachable...
Sincerely, MrNDVERSE www.ndverse.net
also at ^UPWARD^ Motion Promotions at
http://www.upwardmotionpromotions.com
I could not agree more. This is an valuable thing to understand. Thank you for bringing to wider attention.
If you have not already. I think you might enjoy Daniel Kahneman's book "Thinking Fast and Slow" in which he describes how this machine for jumping to conclusions between our ears evolved, and how we can best deal with it to arrive at a more opitmal state of cognition.
Defining intelligence and stupidity is paramount for this discussion, but loosely defined, I think smart people believe in the potential for learning and hope that others discover and recognize the gift and utilize it. It might be projectivism but at least it is optimistic. Stupid people tend to be more subjective, selective, insular, and defensive about intelligence. They know what they know and think that is all there is to know and anyone thinking outside their box or frame of reference is an elitist or snob, sound familiar? They get defensive when their knowledge base is challenged or questioned and see no gamesmanship in defending their intellectual position. They also seem very afraid of change. But let’s face it; we all have our moments, we can be smart or stupid usually depending on the topic and mood.
Wonderful post! I loved seeing this. Good for you Derek!
Who truly has the right to determine what the meaning of smart or stupid is? Is being smart because of a high IQ? Is being stupid because of making a mistake? God made each person in His own image and gave them the ability to think and reason in their own way. I think that we can all learn from one another no matter what the IQ is or how many mistakes each of us has made.
I was working in the nursery at my church and there was a grown lady with downs syndrome in the nursey with us, names Winnie. Winnie did not speak at all. She shared cookies with the 2 and 3 year olds, giving to them as they gave to her. I saw those little ones be gentle with her as she was gentle with them. They would pat her if she was having a bad day and cried through-out the time there. Winnie would be concerned about them if they cried and she would walk over and look intently at them. They would gently roll the ball around to each other including Winnie. Winnie rolled it back gently to them. There was no verbal communication with most of them, but they learned from one another each time they arrived in the nursery and so did I.
If we look close enough and are willing to listen, we will find that no one is stupid, just different. Thank you for posting this article, Derek.
So true Derek I think we can all be smart sometimes, the main thing is that if we are able to think of other's and keep hope in our hearts even when the going gets tough then it will be a better day for us sooner rather than later.
I agree! Being negative about someone else just amplifies our own short comings. Thanks for sharing.
Nobody knows everything. If you don't know something because you didn't learn it yet, that's one thing. If you don't know something because you just don't care to know, then you are ignorant. If you don't know something because you can't figure it out, you are stupid.
Dereke, just one more addendum to my previous post worth considering:
I know a doctor who is an expert in the area of nuclear medicine and is regarded by his peers as being one of the most brilliant in his field.
When I asked him about his feelings concerning his esteemed reputation, he responded as follows, and allow me to paraphrase:
"As far as I am concerned, a day will come, many years in the future, where people will look at this science of nuclear medicine and they will compare it to a craft practiced by voodoo witch doctors. They will wonder how people could have been so obscenely stupid to use radioactive dye in the nuclear imaging process. They will read my published research and think that I must have been an abject idiot."
He further elaborated, "Knowledge of the day can be the idiocy of tomorrow. The intellectuals who admire my work today will be repudiated by the intellectuals of tomorrow. I am not flattered by their high regard of my skills because I know a day will come in the future where we are all regarded as having been abject imbeciles."
"Ever hear of a guy named Aristotle? In his day, he was considered to be a genius. Of course, he also believed fervently in the geocentric model, the concept that the Sun revolved around the Earth. Years later, he would be repudiated by Galileo and Copernicus, who no doubt considered Aristotle to be a total fool."
He concluded by stating, "I find certain scientists to be the most repellent people I know, generally full of themselves, insufferably arrogant, and convinced that they have the answer to all problems. In my mind, a reasonably intelligent person is the fellow who recognizes that life is little more than an abundance of questions in search of answers, and one answer should only lead to another question. I dislike religious fundamentalists who believe they have all the answers and, analogously, I detest Atheists and Agnostics who are equally arrogant in their certitude, their laughable reverence for the science of the day. The truly intelligent person is somebody who recognizes life is little more than a string of uncertainties and the immediate answers we acquire are rarely absolutes, but only a bridge to the next string of uncertainties."
Anyway, from my perspective, that answer seems pretty "smart."
There is a word that cancels both expressions ( Smart & Stupid) ...that word is "Wisdom" the simplicity of Common Sense paired with a life long pursuit of reliable and learned skill-sets as one gets older. In other cultures, old people are revered,respected and honored for their wisdom they possess and pass along. Somewhere between becoming all "Individualists " our village/tribal connections were severed, damaging our links to one another. Our need to belong and bond has been replaced with imaginary identities of being either "Smart or Stupid" people keeping us apart. Today we need the wisdom of the Village, The Tribe and The Family to provide wholeness and self-worth. Yes, it takes a Village to make a person.....let us all learn to Wise Up ! Why do you think Twitter , LinkedIn and Facebook are so popular today? We need each other! Nothing smart or stupid about it...just plain common sense on call......enjoy!
You're right on the money, Derek! The only people more ignorant than the people that know nothing are the people that know everything.
You are in my mind, a wise man Derek. Thank you for sharing your insight and thoughts !
Peace - Karen
I kinda thought of this before, but I just never put it into actual words.
Hey Derek,
Thanks for a thought-provoking piece - very different from the vanilla flavor, politically correct musings of the pseudo intelligentsia.
oh to be so attached to our own rightness = trouble
This piece reminds me of Johnathan Haidt's "on the moral roots of liberals and conservatives.
I've been schooled very recently in the dastardliness of my own judgmental-ism. Life simply lacks happiness when I choose to stand in judgment of others. My loss.
It can be a long miserable life if I choose me/us vs. them. Or one filled with happiness. Can I see the value in others.
My choices: how I choose to see the question? How will I choose to relate to the world? Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?
Seems to fit well with the Bertrand Russell quote- "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts"
Stupid is as Stupid does......
The simple wisdom of humility to know when to admit, "I don't know" is such a relief. What a burden on the rational mind to feel as if there always has to be an answer or a conclusion to something. It is a common reaction to such an open 'ending' to feel the pressure to be 'in the know'. The uneasiness that follows in the form of anxiety can tend to eat away at the individual much like when we know something, but just can't quite 'put our finger on it', or that 'it's on the tip of the tongue', but can't remember.
The pride, value, and desire to retain large amounts of information seems to garner a free pass up the social ladder where acceptance and respect is automatic. The acquisition of knowledge is similar to the material chase and acquisition of wealth in this way.
So in actuality, there is no such thing as smart or stupid, for they are, if anything, labels of being in a given moment, rather than something that is concrete and unchanging over time.
“Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it’ll spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein
I love the way you think. Keep 'em coming!
And then there is Northern Lights' "Don't believe everything you think."
I'll contribute a quote, also:
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
- Abraham Lincoln
Deep comprehension, known as smartness here.
I like the way these are always not supported by advertising. They are the best spent time on my computer most days when Derek posts new items. I always know I can get a new aspect on something in 1/4 of the time of wading through other tech and web content. The concepts here are so profound yet so simple. Derek breaks it down swiftly and clearly. I wish the rest of this web mess was in kind.
This is good. Reminds me of my professor who use to say 'It was not a stupid mistake. It was you being stupid'. Had lost these lines somewhere in my life. Thanks for bringing them back to me.
Love this. Being educated is understanding how little you know about the world.
“As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.” - Socrates
I think that altruism enters into this because no matter how dumb someone acts he or she is a human...they're our species and one should look on them with fondness and love. Don't mean to sound like a 60's Hippie (though I am) but intelligence is relative like everything else and there's always someone smarter than you think you are. That's a good think.
Rich Walker
When someone actually invents a 'babelfish' - all will be clear to everyone
Great post and great perspective. It reminds me of the concept of projection from psychology classes at college. Taking all those negative feelings about your self and putting them on an outgroup. I agree that classifying someone as stupid really is based out of the frustration of failing to understand their motivations and their thought processes. Not to say that we can't still disagree with a bad choice, but I like the idea that we shouldn't write them off. If nothing else, the situation requires more scrutiny to figure out the puzzle.
The other thing it reminds me of is the brain's tendency to simplify, classify, and label everything we perceive into neat little boxes on a shelf. It's easy to label and dismiss someone. This especially true when we don't understand something.
Thanks for the post!
you are my inspiration Dereck
Thanks for that post Derek. It really makes me think if I ever call people stupid? Hopefully not! I like to think that life is always about knowledge and progression. The minute we stop learning or think we know it all, is when we stop progressing. No one knows all there is about life. Thus, we can always progress.
Mahalo
On Webster's, one definition of stupid is "stupid from fatigue." That, in fact is my state on occasion after working too many hours. ;-)
All others are judgments and assessments, such as dull, slow and irritating, which depend on and reflect the person doing the judging and assessing.
When children, my older brother, for sport, would force me to say that I am stupid. As an adult, I noticed one day, out of the blue, that I used that word consistently to describe things and people, including myself. The interesting thing is that, as soon as I stopped, all stupidity miraculously disappeared. So, that's a pretty easy fix.
All that said, there is such a thing as varying degrees of cognitive ability. It is possible that someone may not be able to grasp a difficult concept that someone with very high cognitive ability--combined with specialized knowledge--might lay out. This has been the case for me on a few occasions.
Words of wisdom to live by. The ID that fuels peoples arrogance is nicely defined here.
Simple, witty and so, so spot on!
Hey Derek -
like the new website - it was so time for you to get off blogger!
I like to use this assumption, "People are always doing the best they can with the resources available to them." The issue is that very often we have many more resources available to us, but because of our beliefs, assumptions, expectations - we just don't see them.
And so we choose from our limited view - when we could be so much bigger than that. Part of my work as a coach is to expand my client's experience of the resources available to them. So they can take risks, step out, be bigger.
And often when we choose small (whether small actions or small mindedness) it's out of fear. Fear that this is all there is. Fear that the opportunities available to us are small and limited and might be taken out from under our very noses. And fear that the other person won't see us - or will see us and see only our own limiting beliefs about ourselves. And so we'll be alone, and unloved.
Often - small mindedness is just a coping mechanism. Because opening our hearts and our minds feels really scary and out of control. I encourage you to trust, step out, be bigger. And to have compassion and love for that "stupid" person.
Just remember - that stupid person over there - they are JUST LIKE YOU.
Dear Derek,
Some very astute observations about smart and stupid, and about people here, man! There's not much I can add to what you've said. This is as rational as anything Albert Ellis has ever wrote about in his many books. What I notice which is very serious in this country now is how many people are not thinking thru these 2 candidates for President. There is a stark difference between them. One is for a more traditional America, and one is more in the direction of a European America. Personally I love our Constitution, and I love America and all that it stands for. Obviously America is not perfect, but I still believe it's the greatest nation that has ever been on earth. Anyway, this is my 2 cents worth, and what you wrote here in unique and sensible, my friend. Best to you always, Derek! Clay Wilson
Stupid is indeed an overused word.
Almost everyone is smart in some way and I use almost just to hedge my bet.
What many people are NOT usually is curious.
Being curious is smart.
So the question really is - are they curious enough?
I like saying: 'I have no idea.' 'Cos I'm always curious... ;) I hardly ever call other people 'stupid' and when I unfortunately do, I stop and think: Who am I to 'know'..?
What I run into a lot is people saying "I'm no good at such and such" or "I could never do x." But the thing is, everyone has a different focus. Whatever we put our time and attention into is what we are good at (or smart about.) To me, it boils down to paying attention and, as you said, not jumping to conclusions and short circuiting the mind.
Saying someone is smart or stupid is not relevant, all it is is an opinion, it can be considered, none of us know all there is to know, so, the amount of information, or knowledge one person needs to know, may be more, or less than what another person needs to achieve their particular endeavor, 2 + 2 is 4, so is 3 + 1, so is 1 + 1 + 1 + 1. some of us like to take the faster simpler route, while some of us get better reward by taking the longer road, who's smart, who stupid. theirs only one absolute in the universe: LOVE no room for smart, stupid, or judgment, just LOVE......
In the end
everyone Conclude that they don't know nothing,
But if u understanding This before u can help to
mankind
to understanding this to
In #95 above I wrote:
Hi Derek:
Behaviours come and go ...
Not sure I know what a person is, really; in their essence ...
Interesting observations though ...
All the best
Hmm ... a couple of days later ...
Hi again Derek:
Well, perhaps it just goes to show that if you throw a question out to the universe, even obliquely, an answer just might came back ...
I revisited what you wrote originally.
Its seems there's an answer in your original notes, i.e., to my oblique question about just what a person may be, in their essence ...
You wrote above ...
"There are no smart people or stupid people, just people being smart or being stupid. "
Perhaps the answer is simply that, i.e., that a person, in his or her essence, well, they are simply "being", itself ...
So, they are "being" smart, or "being" stupid, or "being" happy, or "being" sad ... all the while that they "do" whatever they might be "doing".
Sometimes perhaps the simplest observations are the least obvious.
I suppose the fish doesn't "see" the water it swims in.
All the best
Cam
Someone once said to me: "Smart is what you do, intelligent is what you are". Another one said: "the more you learn, the more you understand how little you know".
Even if you have to look long and hard, there is a lesson in everything that happens.
Anyone closing an argument the way you describe, sure has not learned enough
So nothing wrong with being humble and looking at the world with an open mind. To stop learning is to start dying....
Best, Peter
Have you been to a Walmart in Mississippi lately?
Derek,
I always enjoy it when you're in one of your more active writing periods. Thanks for making me think.
Guy
That's very true Derek, and I hope this will open the eyes of the people that think low of others.
Indeed Derek....
Never assume....
Well we all now that old saying.
Rushing to judgement has been going
on for centuries.
We all wish that everyone would think correctly, act correctly and do correctly....
If only that happened we could have avoided many wars....
Peace to you my friend!
That's stupid .... oops!
NOTED !! :D :D
So many of my problems have come from thinking I know things I don't, but even more from assuming that others don't know anything.
If time is money, simple assertion costs less than introspection, however deep.
If you have a thought, but can't afford to broadcast it, do you exist? (Trees have known about this for a long time.)
Expression is existence. Expression is content. Content has no meaning. The medium is the message. Intelligence is survival. Meaning is, unfortunately for me, dead. Meaning resides in the perception of the receiver, viewing content designed to be redolent in social cues, but specific to no one thought besides the density of money made per second of information broadcast, balanced against the cost of broadcast.
Being stupidly intelligent it's possible. So your tittle doesn't work at all.
Keep it trying to be something like you are.
An important philosophical idea that I've learned that may apply here is separating the person and the judgment of the person from the action. Everyone knows it's rather dumb to smoke cigarettes, but just because someone smokes doesn't mean they're stupid; they're just doing a stupid thing. It's a tricky thing, but it's helped me a lot learning to think this way.....I also agree that it pays to be honest and simply say...... I don't know.
we tend to condescend to our own level..where in reality we are judging ourselves
Hey Derek,
i work in a hotel so i c people acting stupid all the time ( guests & employees...) and i dont know where even to start talking about that so i am just passing that over... i stopped trying to understand where their behavior is coming from and get the feelling of ohhh poor him/her its taking too long and life is short and that is a fact.
A long time ago, I may have still been a kid, or maybe in my early teens, I was watching TV with my parents when on came French actor Jean Gabin, doing a song he had just recorded. Gabin was old by then, and the song was about all he had learnt in life. And it ended with him saying that the one thing he really had learnt was that he didn't know much about anything after all. It stroke me as a deep thought, and some kind of an accomplishment. I looked at my folks and they were both smiling in agreement. I think I understood something imortant that day. What exactly ? I don't know. ;)
Derek
Another great post. It is very easy to miss learning opportunities, great relationships, and getting to know extraordinary people, just because we pass judgement before we understand. In this world we have followers, leaders, teachers, managers, workers, Republicans, Democrats, Americans, French, Latinos, those with formal educations, those without, and my life has been enriched greatly in one way or another by someone from all of these groups of individuals. We should always approach others convinced that they possess treasure, and it is our job to find it.
Kind of like these people who have started using the phrase, "No, wait, I lied!" like it's some sort of recovery tactic. I was at a Starbucks and asked for a chocolate chip and an oatmeal raisin cookie for my daughter and myself respectively. The lady said, "I have the oatmeal raisin cookie, but I don't have the chocolate chip one," then she burst out, "No wait, I lied!" I then told her, "No you didn't, unless you were purposefully keeping a chocolate chip one back behind the counter, you know, for your break." She stopped and said, "Oh yeah, you're right." I'm not sure if she thought about telling people this (especially working behind a counter of a respected company) as it seems a bit unprofessional. She could say, "...oh, wait a minute, I did find one!" The difference is integrity and when one receives more information.
This post remids of a saying: "You don't see people as they are you see them as you are". Also Peter Gabriel's "Come talk to me" is playing in my head while reading:
"Don't you ever change your mind
Now your future's so defined
And you act so deaf and blind"
In my opinion thinking someone is stupid is the basic reaction to provocation or idea you don't really embrace at the moment. In that sense it's ok - if this triggers a venture to find out which of your values this idea confronts and why you stick so strong to them, it could be even percieved as a constructive act.
I think the key is whether you look for the reason of this childish behavior in you or in the outside world. The latter option would just made the journey to yourself a bit longer but that's the beauty (and the burden) of personal choice.
If I have to illustrate this with example it would be the following - they say people attract people and events that harmonize with their attitude to the world. If you attract stupid people in your life then could you be the mr-know-it-all?
As a conclusion I would say accepting is more fun than rejecting new stuff and fight back. But it pays with the effort of building that level of awareness on your own.
Thanks for sharing that, Derek
The real problem is when you feel everyone else is smarter than you. When you feel like you just can't tackle yet another learning curve, but you know you will, because even though you're not very smart, you're willing to get it wrote thousands of times until you get it working...if not exactly 'right'.
Having again read your initial remarks, I better undersatnd your points! Hope you might ENJOY my 'Please don't shoot the busker' and 'Radicalised' on your previously owned cdbaby. Was good to have met you in London at the Troubadour and wrote about visiting you there on my website, 'cause it was great meeting you before I went off to busk around London that day. Keep smiling Derek!
p.s. I still reckon George Bush was a bit of a wally but of course was merely a front man, as was Ronald Regan in his time. I wonder which of the two did better for the U.S.A. with all it's military might? Regards.
Jon was telling me this morning about a guy who was talking about "how stupid his wife was" that she left him and won't tell him where she is. He said he was going to keep her name on a credit card they have instead of removing it like she wants, just to punish her.
When my husband asked why he wouldn't simply remove her name (thinking there is obviously a reason the woman wants to 'hide' from this guy) so she doesn't rack up more charges he said, "Ha! She's too stupid to even know she can do that!"
Hmmm.....why would anyone ever want to leave such a warm and loving man?
Thank you for the itunes suggestion btw. Hugs.
Derek this is positively the tritest thing I have ever heard you say. I see your point and yes, you are right but....over the years I invested money in CDbaby.com services so you could ultimately retire and post this pablum for all of us (who you obviously think) are in need of it. Hmmm....glad to hear you are coming up with such deep thoughts since you quit your day job, man.
Derek,
Great point and well agreed. It's all about the question. I'm a scientist, and I've found focusing on the question is far more fruitful that making a pre-conceived idea come true. The question is more like a seed. When it sprouts you get to see what kind of a plant it becomes.
Finally! A smart reason to put my mind towards thinking others are smart.
Truly smart people realize that most of what passes as knowledge is just opinion. They realize that 99% of opinion is wrong and that life is truly a mystery. In light of this it is safe to say that we are all stupid. Those that know this don't claim to be smart and remain speechless.
This is an interesting Line / quote by You Derek- that hooks me.
" The key is to make sure you're not someone who's easily swayed by a first talker "by Derek "
I've been called this name & worse - this one - is kind of mild - but if it's said repeatatively for years to a person,it can steel confidence, away - I agree with another person who responded, name calling is a dominating cop-out / sometimes .I find myself using this because, of old habit. Habits are hard to break , but I'm making progress - I think now when this pops up - I might - Ask Myself why am I re-acting like this? Because mabe there's some thing that will benifit me; in the senario - and then again mabe there's nothing, but if there's something, I might be happier & not say that as much ! Yea! that was also an interesting point , that You made as well Derek, "People, seem to accept poeple who sound confident, even if they're wrong, that's so incredible.
& powerful. This idea gives me ideas to help my music & live shows.
Thanks, I'm gonna think about this more !
Very Cooool !
There are two kinds of people in the world, those who think there are no stupid people in the world and those who know better. Alternately, there are two kinds of people in the world, those that think there are only two kinds of people in the world and those who know better. The last one should rightly be credited to Kurt Vonnegut.
What utter nonsense. The world has both smart and stupid people in it, not seeing that fact denies the intelligence of the supposedly smart.
Some points, rather obvious:
Being smart often means knowing which conclusion to jump to without wasting crucial time.
Being stupid often means rigorously hanging onto a time wasting process for lack of understanding of the key issue.
Often, when someone says “They are so stupid!” - it means they are actually stupid ( e.g not capable of understanding ). They MAY have stopped thinking, but more likely they never had a meaningful thought in the entirety of their sad and underutilised lives.
Trying to soft soap disability is doing no one a favour.
Very well said.
In my opinion, just stay foolish, and never underestimate anybody, never ever...and never over estimate yourself....
Great article! Over the years I've noticed that I draw people who are like me...who see the good in others more often than not. As they get older in life, they become great leaders. I simply avoid stupidity as much as possible and avoid paying attention to other's actions.
Wow, lot of discussion on here.
My two cents... This article is preaching to the choir. The kind of people that can hold multiple partial perspectives of truth in the head and understand the contextual importance of those perspectives are already with you... even if they might argue about the semantics of what your saying a little.
The kind of people who are going to call a group of people 'stupid' in a serious not joking sense are not going to follow your train of thought here.
Because they are _______ (fill in the blank).
The last sentence is a joke. Though if pondered can lead to an interesting realization of personal beliefs.
I like it.
I also feel that if I am calling someone stupid, especially if Im pissed and have a strong reaction to whatever they are doing or saying-
It's because Im seeing a mirror of a disowned part of myself, the part that does stupid things and judges strongly...anyway, whole other discussion. Hope you guys are well. ;-)
Dope.
I love the fact that so many people have something to say about this.
Unfortunately the internet is too small for showing deeper opinions than "I like" or "I like not".
Finally you will never be able to explain the third dimension to a shadow!
I like this note - I'm sure I've been guilty of doing the same thing, but more out of not wanting to spend any more time on the issue, or perhaps realizing that we're not going to see eye to eye, not because of thinking someone who disagrees with me is stupid
. Sharing this one with some colleagues, should create some interesting discussion.
You don't know better til you do better ;)
Nice work Derek!
I think understanding the 4 personality type can ease
the tension, most people who jump to conclusions have
high opinion about themselves, and we can't change
that no matter how much we try to educate them