What Got You Here Won't Get You There - by Marshall Goldsmith
ISBN: 1401301304
READ: 2008-03-08
RATING: 9/10
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Stinging counter-intuitive insights into how most of us are dealing with co-workers completely wrong. Great specific suggestions for how to do it better.
my notes
INTRO : Some are...
"Blessed with an internal compass that orients them automatically."
"Always make the correct turn and end up where they intended via the most economical route."
"Unerring sense of direction. Grounded."
"Know who they are and where they're going. We feel secure around them. Any surprises will only be pleasant surprises."
"An exquisite sense of who they are. Perfect pitch about how they come across to others."
--
They have no idea how their behavior is coming across to other people.
They think they have the answers, but others see it as arrogance.
They think they're contributing, but others see it as butting in.
They think they're letting people think for themselves, but others see it as ignoring them.
--
Belief #1 : I have succeeded
Belief #2 : I can succeed
Belief #3 : I will succeed
Belief #4 : I choose to succeed
Our success makes us superstitious.
--
The 20 Habits that hold you back from the top:
1. Winning too much: the need to win at all costs and in all situations – when it matters, when it doesn’t, and when it’s totally beside the point.
2. Adding value: the overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
3. Passing judgment: the need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
4. Making destructive comments: the needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
5. Starting with “No,” “But,” or “However”: the overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, “I’m right. You’re wrong.”
6. Telling the world how smart you are: the need to show people we’re smarter than they think we are.
7. Speaking when angry: using emotional volatility as a management tool.
8. Negativity, or “Let me explain why that won’t work”: the need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren’t asked.
9. Withholding information: the refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.
10. Failing to give proper recognition: the inability to praise and reward.
11. Claiming credit that we don’t deserve: the most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
12. Making excuses: the need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
13. Clinging to the past: the need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.
14. Playing favorites: failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
15. Refusing to express regret: the inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.
16. Not listening: the most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
17. Failing to express gratitude: the most basic form of bad manners.
18. Punishing the messenger: the misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
19. Passing the buck: the need to blame everyone but ourselves.
20. An excessive need to be “me”: exalting our faults as virtues simply because they’re who we are.
