Resist the urge to punish everyone for one person's mistake
2010-01-30
The little diner near me has these big warning signs posted everywhere:
- WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE FOR ANY REASON
- ALL ORDERS ARE FINAL! ABSOLUTELY NO REFUNDS!
- NO SHOES, NO SHIRT, NO SERVICE
- NO CELLPHONES. NO PHOTOS. NO VIDEOS.
- NO LOITERING! RESTROOM FOR CUSTOMERS ONLY!
- ALL VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW
I think some little business owner needs a good hug. Poor guy. Every time someone upsets him, he punishes all his future customers forever.
When I was 6, I attended a strict little school in Abingdon, England. Early in the year, someone spilled grape juice. So they banished grape juice for the rest of the year. Later, someone spilled orange juice, so orange juice was banished for the rest of the year. Eventually we were allowed nothing but water.
Nine years ago, one guy tried to light his shoes on fire on a plane. Now for all future time, millions of people a day have to queue up to take our shoes off at the airport, because of that one dumb moment.
As a business owner, when you get screwed-over by someone, it's tempting to make a big grand policy you think will prevent you from ever getting screwed-over again.
One employee can't focus, and spends their time surfing the 'net. Instead of just firing or reassigning that person to more challenging work, the company installs an expensive content-approving firewall so that nobody can go to unapproved sites ever again.
One thief used a stolen credit card to make a purchase. Instead of acknowledging that was one out of 100,000 honest orders, the company makes all future customers fax a copy of their card and ID and wait days for verification.
It's important to resist that simplistic, angry, reactionary urge to punish everyone, and step back to look at the big picture.
In the moment, you're angry, and focusing only on that one awful person that did you wrong. Your thinking is clouded. You start thinking everyone is awful, and see the world as against you. This is a horrible time to make a new policy.
When one customer wrongs you, remember the 100,000 that did not.
When one employee goes bad, remember when you were an employee. Would you punish yourself?
You're lucky to own your own business. Life is good.
You can't prevent bad things from happening. Learn to shrug.
Resist the urge to punish everyone for one person's mistake.
The only exception is when you are p*ssed at someone and you wrote a song about it.
Then you can sing it to the rest of the world and punish everyone together for it, for better or for worse
Yea way to go I agree life sure is better this way....
Perfectly expressed, Derek! Two weeks ago I saw such a WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SERVE sign at an Indian restaurant in Anaheim, called, "Gandhi." !! And the huge sign was next to a huge photo of Gandhi! Policy shouldn't be dictated because of an errant few.
Hi Derek, How many times have we sent an email or texted with the same regret! Knee jerk doesn't work. Greg
I wish we could pass this message onto the insurance companies that refuse to insure businesses that don't adhere to certain "rules" like no shoes, no dogs, no smoking, etc. You'd be surprised to learn how many people do this so they can keep their insurance.
Thank you for this article.
You manage to teach me something new with every single one.
excellent and thought provoking. I love the way your mind works things out!
I'm about to fly again this week, and that shoe thing makes me want to bring a bomb to the airport.
I think all naughty girls should get spankings no matter WHAT their mothers say!!!
I visited a mechanic shop once, and the biggest sign in the office read, "Prices Change With Customer's Attitude" WTF?
Ken Blanchard's Raving Fans: A Revolutionary Approach To Customer Service is a must read!
Aside from being grandfathered in from every possible building code, the Hoka in Oxford, Mississippi had a sign reading: "No shirt, no shoes, who cares?"
I trust you don't eat there. Next week it'll be: ABSOLUTELY NO DEREK SIVERS.
nice...
I'm finally in a place where if I don't like my clients anymore, I give them a few chances, then if they persist to be bad, I just fire them
I agree! however there needs to be rules to business. But, each situation calls for different reactions. Pay attention to detail(surroundings etc.) and for the most part you can avoid some of these life long lessons.
I wonder how many people won't go to that restaurant - I know I wouldn't feel welcome! E. Michael Harrington, great story.
Whatever we do for work, we should be serving people. If we want to do it well, we need to like people. ;-)
To shrug or not to shrug, that is the question.
I tried telling myself to hold off on any major decisions after a fairly traumatic recent experience. So far I think it's the right personal policy. It gives the requisite wiggle-room.
Even no policy (or resisting the urge to make one blanket policy) is a kind of useful decision.
Great observations. Its much better to be pro-active and deal with things as they come than react in the heat of the moment. Thanks! Great advice that I needed
yo derek being
didn't understand the reason for this post.
the airport security is ok with me.
the no service stuff, especially in nyc is ok with me.
i was beatup by a cop for no reason other i had long hair (many years ago). i forgave him (kind of) and the judge who gave me time & a fine.
i like most cops.
why the post???????
the one person who lit his show on fire was part of a large criminal conspiracy. He was not a lone nut, but one of many who was trained to blow up planes. It would be negligent not to anticipate future people doingthe same thing, especially since the stakes are so high.
Focus on selling CDs and leave homeland security to the specialists.
hahahahahahahahaha!
Good point. I received one 'bad check' four years ago for a three CD a woman bought at a small festival in Loveland. I could have said "we don't take checks" and I would have missed out on thousands of dollars of sales (we do about 200 shows a year). We still take checks for our CDs and USB sales and I have still not had a 2nd bounced check! Is it a risk? Will it happen again? You bet. But the 100,000 to one you suggest is something I can almost prove (our sales are not that good yet (Ha!) but the check-paid revenue is well over $5,000 in the past four years. )
I agree that you should not punish everyone something they had no involvement in, however your examples are poor. Your first example re. the shoe bomber of 9 years ago causing elderly ladies to de-shoe themselves before boarding. RIDULOUS. However to classify that event 9 years ago as a "stupid mistake" is understatement taken to a new extreme. Regarding the signs on the door "no smoking" "no shirt, no shoes, no service" and "no stealing" They only apply to the people who are smoking,stealing,shirtless, or shoeless. What's the problem?
The example of the signs was that they loudly scream accusations at every customer, creating a horrible environment for all. -- Derek
Thanks Derek. Really good advice. Bias indeed sometimes occurs. It is really difficult to force yourself to think differently.
Derek....I've been applying your principle when calling on nursing homes, etc. when booking myself. Though forever multi-tasking, Activity Directors are not all the same. Some say..."don't bother calling back", while others accept with open arms. Unfortunately, the negative responses affect the many residents who truly yearn for a good, pleasant, honest kind of music that lifts their spirts. Whoever coined the phrase..."We reserve the right"? BTW, in this fast-paced society we live in, let us not forget the Haitians so quickly. Take a moment, just a brief moment and visit my front page. Thanks!
Well written article. This is exactly the problem; companies forgetting to look at the big picture. Financial institutions have placed the self-employed in the category of "insecure" and refuse to budge. If they would open their eyes and realize the potential and number of independent entrepreneurs, this economy would be in a better situation. While employees are losing homes and jobs, the self-employed are unable to step in and assist. This has been very disheartening and frustrating to me, who has tried for many years to show the injustice being done by the financial institutions.
I have always thought that collective punishment is just plain stupid. the grape juice and orange juice examples are perfect.
why not go ahead and banish water as well. it makes a mess!
I imagine that a lot of business owners don't really want to be successful. they just want to keep their little diner or airline for clientele that fits their perfect "in-group" what happens when these "perfect" clientele begin to disappear? it will be a business that's likely to disappear.
Derek we're retiring you into the self employment hall of fame for this one. This came right on time...Love You Bro M
Ha ha! When we were young, balloons and fireworks were banned. The first thing I did when I got to art school was make loud sculptures using balloons and fireworks. I put the balloons up high, and filled them with glitter so they would make a nice mess when they went bang. I quite like the idea of using grapejuice...
Lol, and your advice "this is a horrible time to make a new policy" is so true! I'll remember that.
The Client is the Boss, it takes a lot to be a leader, one of the basic and very important thing that a leader has to have is emphaty. i often see a lot of sad people who don´t like their jobs, specially in places where you have to put up with people all day, like hospitals, health and human resources buildings,restaurants, etc. and those are places where the people who go there need a lot of emphaty.
I completely agree with Derek on this topic.
I typically review and modify my business policies about once a year. I usually identify several minor issues, but I will only use policy to control a problem if it has become a trend among several clients. Needless to say, this doesn't happen very often.
Every policy change should be made with a clear head, after weighing positive and negative potential outcomes. Anything that is bad for a large cross section of your clientele is probably also bad for you.
Very good advice Derek. There are almost always drunks or other kinds of trouble makers in the audience and you can't make your fans suffer because of these people.
Signs can be made much less obnoxious but they have to be there for insurance and ordinances or you're out of business. The shoe bomb is an unfortunate example in this age of killing the masses for religion. Until science can come up with fool proof detection of all possible bombs we are all stuck with inconveniences.
But your message is great!
I always try to respond rather than react. It hardly ever works in the moment though.....
I've always called this syndrome "crisis management". Not crisis MANAGEMENT, but CRISIS management. We all have to manage crises from time to time, but to design a management style around crises is amateur at best, and it smells of government-style intervention (minus the lobbyists and committees and such). It's a good point you made, Derek - as usual.
Very good point of view...
Amen! I've spent my career having to deal with immediate over-reaction to events, and instituting global change that in the end probably wasn't necessary. My favorite line in this piece..."learn to shrug." We'd all be better off if we simply followed those three words more often.
Great article and so true. I had to laugh at the bottom of the sign about going to jail the little smiley face and Have a Nice Day.
Always important to step back and look at the big picture, especially when you are angry or dealing with discourse. Great advice as always Derek. Thanks
Derek, I feel the same way. Almost everywhere we go we are bombarded with rules of which most are so absurd they should not have to be mentioned: "no littering" "dogs must be on leash", "clean up after your pet" etc. etc. Seems everything in life is leveled at the lowest common denominator. Do we really need to be told not to use the hair dryer in the shower?
Mr Peter Small related this story to me some years ago;
'I ran a trendy clothes shop on Camden Road in London during the 1980s and employed student fashion designers. I paid them what I could but sometimes they helped themselves to money in the cash register. I had even caught the store manager opening the register and taking a £20 note during lunch. Rather than reprimand or dismiss him I let him carry on. After a while I realised that he was working hard to get more money into the cash register so that what he took would hardly be noticed! I could have dismissed him but someone else may not have worked half as hard, so sometimes its worth just letting things happen and see how things turn out before turning the screws. If he had taken too much and been lazy, I'd dismiss him on the spot!'
Man that looks like the OakPark Market store.lol
That basicly says for itself.Though the Asian store owners where on your ass more then Ali Bobba.Thats Sacramento for you.
I have flown twice since Christmas. So far the TSA has not asked me to remove my underwear. I'm not all that modest about my 'privates', but I'm somewhat overweight and unattractive. On the other hand there was a drop-dead beautiful woman in line in front of me, so maybe there's some merit in a policy of garment removal.
No two people should ever be treated the same. Being self employed can be very difficult even in the best of times. Unfortunately,the same so called mistakes seem to happen over and over. The word "Mistake" has been misused and abused.
"What is good for the goose is not always good for the gander." There must be some sort of standard set somewhere, about something at some point or we as humans take advantage of things. We hate this, but it's true.
Does the phrase cutting your nose off to spite your face work here?
Thanks for posting this, Derek. I recently dealt with something that wasn't music or business related, but it was the same type of scenario, nonetheless. For a day or two, I was engaged in wholesale condemnation, "one rotten apple spoiled the bunch", and then I took a step back and reeevaluated what could have happened with that, and I was grateful again.
The next sing in that little diner might read:
NO BUSINESS
4 sale
Exactly. I think it'd put potential clients off if we had a few bullet items on our web site.
"We reserve the right to refuse service to Liars, Bullies, Jerks, and Hippies."
The following statement may be true: "Resist the urge to punish everyone for one person's mistake."
But the obverse is probably also true: "Resist the urge to punish one person for everyone else's mistakes." That's called scapegoating.
Well Derrek this is a subject I am
well acquainted with. After owning a super market for 30 years there is
very little about stealing I don't know and if I had the money for the merchancise people have stolen from our stores I would be
filthy rich. We were robbed on an
average of once a year... That was
besides the shop lifting. There is
now way to tell you how terrible it
is to work for 6 am until 9 Pm seven day a week and have your income minor to the about of theft.
The last location we moved to was
a really big open space. We had lights all around and there was no
place thieves could hide.. so we
thought. We had been open six weeks
and thieves cut a hole in the roof
and stole what they could get out.
Over the years we did catch a few of the thieves and one man was sent to prison. That is one reason we sold our business.
I have always known it was wrong to
steal. If you have never experienced dealing with a thief you are lucky.
At CD Baby, we had thieves with stolen credit cards every single day. We'd catch them through a quick real-human scanning process we'd do before packing any orders. (Is it out of character? A $1000 order going to Nigeria? Etc.) About once a week, someone got away with it. But the real point is we didn't make shopping hell for all the honest people. Just made it our responsibility to deal with the thieves without bothering the rest. -- Derek
Of course, you're right.
I just wish it was easier to attract the 99,999 other customers.
As far as the airline craziness, maybe a little civil disobediance is in order. How about FLY BAREFOOT WEEK?.We better wait a few months, though.
The owner of the diner should have a sign saying "If there isn't a minimum of 5 people in in this establishment, the place will be closed".
Nice Derek,
Again, your article made me think, which is what I assume, it is supposed to do. You are no longer only "selling CDs" as one comment suggested. Instead, you are bringing up situations and solutions that we can apply to whatever we need to.
Thank you.
Rhan
i loved your post. never really even thought much about it when i see postings like that, altho it never sounds very nice. anyway, i do believe you should expect the good in people... a few will let you down, but most won't.
Right on.
Those signs are very interesting. I don't know the circumstances for why they are posted. I'd have to ask the owner. I don't like to assume anything. Perhaps the owner posted them after repeatedly asking people not to smoke, after being robbed several times, etc. Perhaps this was his/her way of saying, these acts are not tolerated in this establishment. For me, it's like my home. There are certain things that we do not want done in our home. Lying, stealing, smoking are a few. We don't have a "physical"posted on our home, but people know that we do not like this, because we've told them. I look at the owner's signs the same way. He/she is just communicating what's acceptable behavior in that establishment. The signs don't offend me at all. It's the way with God's Kingdom. It's a moral Kingdom. There's no law against love, peace, and joy! But lying, stealing, complaining, strife, bitterness, sexual immorality, things like that, are to be done away with.
Blessings!
Is this worth an article Derek? Being an ardent libertarian I have to say, "so what". perhaps you should take some of your own advice and "learn to shrug". The owner of the diner should post whatever lawful signs he (I'll use "he" for simplicity) wants on his establishment. You don't know his experience. Perhaps he's had considerable trouble in each of the aforementioned areas and is pissed off about it. If he wants to take it out on his customers, so be it. Maybe he will remove the signs if business suffers because of them. Running a business is a learning experience after all. Either way, it doesn't really matter to you. If you think he needs a hug Derek, why don't you go give him one. Otherwise if you don't like the signs go somewhere else to eat. Jeez.
I can't worry too much whether everything I write is worth an article. It's my personal blog and I just try to share any helpful tidbits I can. -- Derek
Two related thoughts:
-- Most legal documents are based on single things that happened wrong in the past. This suggestion would greatly reduce legal fees...
-- I tend to joke that most business problems are like sex...you are sleeping with the people they have slept with before, causing all the paranoia, faults, and worries. And diseases, I guess.
The question is in part not how to stop the bad stuff but how to encourage the good stuff.
hi Derek, I liked your last response! Deal with the thieves without bothering all the rest. that just about says it all. that would be a good recipe for KEEPING a business instead of a total loss.
That guy is obviously old and cranky and has not kept up with the times or even entertain new technology. He needs some loving and CPE.
Derek, go in there a give him a big hug! And help him paint his front door for gs.
Derek, I am a little confused.
I did not expect to read an article like this coming from you.
However, if you feel better now that you have released some frustration, I guess I'll let it slide.
"Here comes the sun....do n do do"
It's a judgment call; some transgressions are more severe than others. One general "One size fits all" policy or opinion for that matter is not always the best solution. It really comes down to how much BS you can and will deal with or the absurdity of the proposed solution.
As for myself I expect common sense and professionalism to prevail and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt initially. However if it’s a nonproductive trend or a blatant act (in my opinion) one has to act to correct the issue, directly and harshly if deemed necessary. Or be prepared to deal and/or live with the results.
The afore mentioned shoe bomber requires immediate attention, and I for one believe tendency profiling supersede political correctness.
Trust me - grandma will never place anything in her panties that isn’t an absolute necessity.
Good read, and a smart policy to have in place, pretty much the backbone of Good Customer Service.
LOL! My only real ? is whether or not the food is any good. Jeez Louis! I'd be apt to not even do business there, worried if I coughed at the wrong moment I might get "refused service." ><
(something tells me he's racist, but that's just me.)
Oh yeah, and unless he's did his homework half of what he's posted probably isn't even enforceable by law, lol.
I love response #40. I have had the same experience. When I owned a different business in the 80s I had an employee who would run cash transactions and sometime pocketed them. At first I wanted to fire him for the betrayal. But then I thought about it and remembered that he was a very hard worker, making me a lot of money! I decided to give him a raise instead. I never checked on him, I just looked at the numbers. They were good, he continued to make me a lot of money. When he left my employ in a carrier change, I told him I knew he sometimes had pocketed money and I thanked him for his hard work. (He went crimson
That was a life lesson for both of us with regard to practicing generosity. I've found that the more I worry, the more likely the thing I worry about is to happen. The less I worry, the smoother life is. Don't believe everything you see on TV or read in the paper, the numbers prove that the vast majority of people a good, kind and decent.
Thanks, Derek. Another really good one. I wish your blog entries were compiled in a book I could refer to for easy reference! This is all about managing our anger. Dealing with it and figuring out how to react in the most productive way. Tricky.
I dunno. I'd like to ask that headmaster if it was really only ONE kid that spilled orange juice before they brought in that ruling. I also hate having to take off my shoes at airports. But one person may have given someone else an idea. I also learned not to put anything red in the white wash after doing it once. What's that saying? ... if someone fools you once, shame on them ... if they fool you twice, shame on you. That said, of COURSE take checks and don't let one bad one put you off the entire caboodle. And mean notices are ... mean. But the logic doesn't apply to everything.
You once had orange and grape juice at school? Wow... you must have gone to a posh school.
(Until we were no longer allowed.) -- Derek
Most schools in England at that time only had water apart from a small bottle of milk at break time but that was taken away by Maggie (Thatcher).
I agree with your point though.
I found in the work place, the best way to prevent internet miss use was for management to take an interest in the work that employees doing rather than trying to manage bureaucratic management systems.
We brought our own.
Yesterday, I was at my township's recycling dumpsters unloading a bunch of cardboard that had accumulated since the holidays. The dumpsters happen to be located next to a small outdoor skatepark that the township built for young kids to keep them out of trouble. As I was unloading my van, a middle-aged woman who was also there unloading came over and told me to keep my eyes open around the teenagers, because she supposedly saw one of them skate past and eye-up her purse that was on the front seat of her car.The ironic thing and something that led me to believe that she was being a little paranoid is that she was only standing 5or6 feet from her car and the doors were closed. Also this took place about 35 yards from the township police station, the proximity of which I'm sure is to make sure no one goes fishing through the dumpsters for ID info, and also to keep an eye on the local teens. I took umbrage with the woman's tone and told her if she was really worried she could lock her doors and that yes, I thought she was being a little paranoid. I suspect she had had a bad experience with a teenager once and was now suspicious of every young person she came in contact with. Don't indict the world for your hangups, see them as such, wipe the slate clean and move on.
Sounds like he has had some problems. I am known to some people as the angry bitter little man, so I certainly can understand his position. However, I do agree that punishing the innocent is not always the best way to go.
Great article, and something I can relate to struggling with as a small business owner.
-- Derek
I do find it ironic that there's a cigarette advertisement and right next to it, a sign saying "no smoking or you'll go to jail."
Heheh... awesome. I didn't notice that. Thanks for pointing that out.
Well, Derek my boy, always the herald of good tidings! Stealing is bad, ugly behavior is bad, being mistreated by a business owner is bad, not making a viable profit is bad! On and on. One size does not fit all, and one answer to a problem is not the same for all! When I rented musical/sound equipment on a daily/weekly basis, I worried about losing the gear. I bought a Polaroid camera, attached the picture to the rental agreement, never lost another piece! But, by the same token, an employee managed to steal batches of microphones by taking them home in is lunch bag! Somehow he got away with 3 expensive synths before I fired him for parking his oil-leaking van in our driveway! I assume that if had not aggravated me daily with his oil leaks, he would have continued his theft. After he left, we found one of his lunch bags with 3 SM58s, all wrapped up and ready "to go!" So, my point is that a business owner has to be flexible, in-flexible, hard headed, soft-hearted, and very resilient to avoid becoming completely depressed with human nature.
I saw the comment by E. Michael Harrington, you have some very interesting readers! E. Michael puts on a great seminar, I would like to hear him again someday!
I'm currently putting a lot of words together about the journey I've been on, thanks to the request of multiple friends. Part of the moral behind the words is how it can be possible to remain positive in a business that can harbor a lot of negativity.
This has got me working on my shrug. A good shrug is like a good wink. Lifting one shoulder is more nonchalant than two, and if you squint while looking up, and twist your mouth, even better.
My little brother's really good at it. Practice makes perfect.
Ever see the Looney Tune where Daffy Duck keeps waking up a customer who's trying to sleep in the hotel Daffy's working in? Every time the customer wakes up, he comes to the front desk and punches *Elmer Fudd* in the face, instead of Daffy Duck.
The shoe bomber woke us up. The politicians punched everyone else in the face.
It's very different than a bunch of obnoxious signs in a store, though. You can always go to another store more suited to you. The business owner may finally learn as customers walk.
But politicians, corrupt with their incomparable power, write laws for all. You can't just go to another airline where the rules are more suited to you (where there are not so many obnoxious signs), as you would do in a *free* country.
The shoe bomber gave politicians what they love most: an excuse for more power. You're not a valued customer to them. You're irrelevant.
You can't take your money somewhere else. The IRS is in your life.
Your excellent lesson can never be learned by or applied to the political system.
As long as we allow a few humans absolute power, they will be corrupt, no matter how lofty their supposed intentions.
Good point, Derek. One should think it well prior to layng down the rules. Nontheless if it make perfect sense to the business owner and it serves his/her cause, expectations must be clarified in order to avoid missunderstandings and grief
It's a tricky thing, protecting one's self or self interests, verses having an open mind and heart. I think it is important to realize we all make mistakes and infringements, occasionally on each other. Some of us know better and feel shame for it later, some of us are misinformed or in a reactive state at the time but I believe the bulk of people make transgressions accidentally or unconsciously. That's why I think it is best to try hard not to look for fault in these situations and not to react negatively. Even a negative reaction to this sign, would have actually been, hypocritical.
I like that you did not challenge the owner on it and instead chose to raise other peoples awareness by opening this up for discussion. To raise each of our consciousness like that is very important for any of us on a quest for peace. It's a reminder that we first need to find peace in our own hearts, minds and life, if we ever are to believe it can be done on a bigger scale. We can't demand peace by punishing those, who we believe to be a threat to the peace we desire.
I feel for the diner owner and hope they will one day realize that their sign is as damaging to their diner, as the actions they seek to put an end to, in their diner. Thank you for offering this up for discussion and maybe/hopefully, each of us will consider this, the next time we FEEL wronged.
Legislation nominally addressing the single emotive incident, is only effective at darkening everyones life- 'offenders' work outside of the law, only law abiders are penalised. It is the nature of evolving, growing organisations to become more complex and regulated, sometimes using incidents to justify increased controls and powers- until they collapse under their own weight.
Limiting an organisations controls to needs maintains the population's (it supposedly serves) support.
I was an owner of a scenic construction company and later in a different life a manager at a tech support call center. In the first situation, it was easily my choice how to deal with employees, in the second, there were a million rules which I steadfastly ignored. In both situations I got the job done by honoring the humanity of the people who worked with me and by releasing people from employment when necessary. I've also worked in restaurants and bars and can't envision a situation that would require a sign posted rather than saying "sorry, that's not cool, you have to leave now." There is never any reason to create adversity as some kind of early warning system - if you have to deal with a situation, you deal with it. It doesn't make sense to alienate people, either customers or employees, because you anticipate problems in the future. You'll get what you expect.
Derek,
Very good thought! and something that we should all consider when making a blanket judgement.
When I was working at a very large company, someone spilled soup on a senior vice president in an elevator. All food was immediately banned from elevators, thereby banning people from eating at their desks with any purchased food.
I also worked at another very large company. They were so worried about being compromised by their employees' Internet traffic that they were secretly recording all of it. If they've continued with this practice, this database is probably larger than all the other data they store.
Well put. And even in the heightened tension of the past decade, there is not a terrorist around every corner. Nor is every new neighbor a threat.
I refuse to live in fear. Being vigilant? Yes. Always super-ultra-mega prepared for violence? No. Aware and awake? Absolutely. Constantly and aggressively afraid? No.
Mindfulness rather than mindlessness. Purposeful solutions rather than simplistic slogans.
Life is short. And as the very fine Warren Zevon stated "Enjoy every sandwich."
Another great post Derek! So important to keep focused on what's going right and not get hung up on the speed bumps that occasionally come across our way.
Victimless crimes, design for discomfort, injure the innocent for the injuries they may commit. No wonder we have bursting prisons and stressed out streets.
Victimless crimes, design for discomfort, injure the innocent for the injuries they may commit. No wonder we have bursting prisons and stressed out streets.
I always clean my feet if I step into something nasty. If I am wearing shoes I might not even notice...
Life is messy. Humans are forever unpredictable and capable of astonishing acts, in every direction - from the magnificent to the ugly. The more we relax into that reality, stop trying to control the uncontrollable, and simply focus on creating a world around us that we would truly enjoy living in, the happier we'll be. Those who resonate with that world will join us there; those who don't won't even find the doorway leading inside. It's just so damn simple.
A very good, common sense guide to live by, every one is not bad, and unfortunately we treat all people as though they have criminal intent, and that’s not the case. It makes me wonder, how many good people have we ran away from showing our best side, because of this attitude. Maybe, we all should take down those barriers in hearts, so that we can show the world our best side and what we have to offer.
John #24, I often tease activity directors. How many times do you go to confession when your voice mail message says " I'll call you back as soon as I am able?"
I like: No smoking. No stealing. Or you will go to jail. Have a nice day
Decades ago there was such a thing as a "dinner club" or restaurant where a gentleman was expected to wear a coat and tie, as a matter of expected propriety. But instead of turning away customers, many of these had extra ties and jackets on hand that customers who had "forgotten" theirs could borrow while dining, and return upon departure.
"No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service" could simply a plain English expression of what health regulations the business owner must enforce, and is certainly better than oblique government-speak. But perhaps there is a better, friendlier way of expressing it? "Please be courteous to your fellow customers by remembering to wear a shirt and shoes while patronizing our establishment, or we will instantly incinerate you with our high-power security lasers. Have a nice day!"
Derek.
Shouldnt this note be going to the WhiteHouse?? Or 10 Downing Street?
Im unsure of the relevance for Musicians,unless they own a store as some of your commentators do. I feel your telling us something we know already. Well some of us anyway.
Funny, when I first read your article I was thinking, that is how our government here in America reacts! Instead of punishings the offending people they pass stupid laws that punish everyone else and make life harder for the rest of us. Just yesterday I was reading an article was says that the laws that were passed that make it illegal to text while driving haven't brought down the accident rate in states where they have been passed. I thought to myself that if you don't know any better than driving when texting, then passing a law isn't going to help people like that because they obviously don't care about themselves or others.
I could not agree more! Its interesting how extreme we are in everything we do. My mother says "Moderation in all things" and as annoying as that was and is I've got to agree with her.
"Please be considerate to other customers who may not wish to observe your hairy armpits, rolls of abdominal flab or bare nipples while dining. Our thanks in advance."
"Honk if you love Jesus. Text-message while driving if you want to meet him."
In 30 years of selling CDs at shows, mostly for cash, I have had one - ONE - bad credit sale. The woman was VERY convincing, had me sign a couple of CDs, and we swiped her card at the show to upload later. It was a bogus sale, but it won't make me change the way I do biz. I still swipe the cards at shows and upload later. So what? I'm out a few bucks. Since taking credit cards just about tripled my sales, I'll take the hit.
I agree. Punishing everyone for the acts of a single individual is bad business. Businesses need to be customer-driven, not ego-driven. And emotionally focusing in on the acts of an individual customer at the expense of the mass of your customers, is one way of letting your ego drive your business model.
Every business I have ever worked for in the last 35 years has had an incident where one employee violated company trust and the company penalized every employee instead of addressing the one issue. Some were white-collar jobs,...some blue-collar...it made no difference.
It also seems interesting that, without fail all these same businesses either shot from the hip on ideas of how to improve the work being done or hired "outside" evaluators when they could have found all the answers they needed by asking their own employees and respecting their opinions.
Curious, eh?
I don't know, Derek...after reading all of this stuff...I used to feel that punishing everyone for the actions of a few was wrong...and then... I started paying attention to Congress! (rim shot)...Now, for a real lesson in stealing (Not that Congress isn't good at that, too...)I think you should pay attention to the guys on stage in any comedy club in America. Theft is rampant!...One more thought: If every business takes down those annoying signs...How many sign makers does that put out of business?
Matt Wells wrote: "But the obverse is probably also true: 'Resist the urge to punish one person for everyone else's mistakes.' That's called scapegoating."
Excellent point, Matt. Too bad most scapegoaters have no desire to give up the habit.
This is a good one. In the music business--you really do need to brush off the sad or angry feelings you may feel when someone is dishonest or critical to you--because you need to be joyful and helpful to all the other folks who love you.
My favorite business response sign was in a small coffee shop in Cashiers.
"All unattended children will be given a complimentary espresso and
a free puppy."
love,
Mary Z. Cox
This Can't B More True!!!
It is worth keeping it in mind for one's own sanity and above all optimism.
I would say the Bhuddist Middle Way is best in not immersing oneself in anything. Don't act when U're in the mood. Because it always goes wrong... Wait and let it pass, then come back to deal with it. AND think of all those other positive ones...
I agree,,,,someone took a small bench outside a small boutique that I work at, and my boss said she was going to put a chain on the next one. I said "that will just look horrible".....She hasn't done it yet.
Amen. I had a Silver Jewelry store and had an estimated $25,000 per year of theft yet I kept 2-3 thousand $10-$200 rings right in the open where my customers could try them on. I didn't like the losses but treating my customers like friends and like I trusted them paid off every year. All most all people are basically honest and good. 25 years of successful retail has proven your point that focusing on the positive results is better than fretting and dodging loss all of the time.
"Do unto others"
Dan Doshier
I'm totally on board! Punish the offender not the innocent bystanders!
Okay I will put that on my list. I can not believe the school took away the grape and orange juice.
Just read the comment on Congress. I am going to vote for Derek for President in 2012. I bet he could put a little common since back into Washington.
Dan
I was married for 21 years and my wife who always loses things kicked me out of the house with a direct order from her father (who bought the house for her) for me to move out in 2 weeks. She blames me for stealing or pawning one of her "lost" books, and I am now living in a 2 bedroom apartment, and eating at the Salvation Army. I love the freedom, but why should I pay for her mistakes? Unrighteous anger does not pay. She calls it a "trial separation." You can't punish everyone because of one stupid act by one person. But you can remove that one person from the picture. Stupidity spreads misery.
There is a related antithesis of a sort. "Don't punish a few for everyone else's mistake, either." Like when only a few people show up to see one of my appearances and the rest stay away in droves. Those few people still deserve the best show I can deliver. Surely, more than ANYONE else. It doesn't result in a stupid business policy, but it sure calls for a different response than what I might feel like at that second.
my all-time favorite sign:
hand written, taped to the door of a fabric store called "silk road," which sells the most bee-you-tiful fabrics you have ever seen.
"no cheetos"
not "no food or drink". "no cheetos"
can you see those little tiny orange fingers, reaching out to touch the irresistableness?
Yes, seems the whole world is paranoid! It's time to just chill!
Absolutely agree. This is the stuff bureaucracies are made of.
The "right to refuse service to anyone" signs are a hold over from desegregation. A lot of business owners do not realize that they are posting a sign that was intended to have the subtext: whites only. Yuck.
NO! No T.V. Party, Toniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight! (Sing the vowell.)
I wonder if this type of a resolution for a problem came from military people ???
Gee, if only you could get this message across to the health insurance companies who persecute the masses by denying so many people new coverage because of pre-existing conditions. Rather than deal with an individual's particular situation and tailoring a coverage to their needs, they lump everyone together who has a particular ailment that, God forbid, they might have to pay out on in the future. Go work that front. America needs you, Derek!
No offense but it wasn't just one guy trying to light his shoes on fire--he was trying to light the plastic explosives he had packed into the shoes in order to blow the plane up and kill all the passengers. According to Wikipedia he is a member of Al Qaeda and, "He spent 1999 and 2000 in Pakistan and trained at a terrorist camp in Afghanistan, according to several informants." Other than that I generally agree with your comments.
I heart u big time dude
ah poor little store...like it's been beaten up too many times. It takes an incredible amount of patience and tolerance to stay positive and treat each individual as just that. why are shoes and shirts so important to people???? we all came out naked.
Here are some behavior-limiting signs I like:
"This is a cell phone free zone"
"Thank you for not smoking"
"Please no food or drinks"
The first one is great for restaurants, and all three are great reminders for public transportation.
Just keep the signage friendly.
What a way to word it. So "no shoes" and "no shirt" and "no service"? That photograph is hilarious. It almost seems like the owner is saying. 1.No Shoes allowed here. 2.No shirts allowed here either. and 3. We have no service here, so go somewhere else.
Brilliantly simple (or simply brilliant
In California, it's against state law to refuse service or the restroom to anyone. Of course, Jerry Brown lives here too. Great columns, Mr. Sivers.
If you trust people sooner or later you are gonna get screwed.
If you don't trust people sooner or later you are gonna get screwed.
Trusting people feels better than not trusting people.
So if you are gonna get screwed eventually anyhow, why not trust people and feel good in the meantime.
Love, B
When a customer "beat me" out of
my money, I learned to shake my
head and go on to my work. I never
required a contract, and estimate
my losses at about 1% of sales over
the 32 years I had my full time
sign business. I often looked back
and saw the ones who beat me get
"beat" far worse by someone else.
Your post reminds me that instead of looking for ways to exclude others in our marketing, we should look for ways to include and attract the type of people we want to do business with. When we attract the right type of people to our business, the wrong type tend to stay away.
I hope we all choose to do business with others who think like we do, so all the "make a rule for everything" folks gather over there, and all the "trust first, but check later" folks can gather over *here*
Yeah yeah yeah; when you trust, you get screwed.
I make it a policy to trust. I keep my eyes open, though. Thus far, in business, and in life, it's been a great long time since anyone did anything to me I wasn't pleased with.
Trust does not equal blindness.
I thought that was worth an article. I agreed with you about everything but the shoe bomber. I think it's a good idea for them to search everyone's shoes for bombs- even if it is a pain in the ass to everyone else.
There has to be some boundaries in place or there is chaos. The simple rule to 'love thy neighbor' would solve a lot of problems. When everyone doesn't do it, you have to make sure they don't take advantage of you.
too true, Derek. And, I think we have all been guilty of the "over-reaction" frmo time to time. Nevertheless, the amount of wasted energy spent as a result is almost immeasureable.
Someone recently tried to light himself on fire. So, they will ban lighters now (although that is not an inconvenience for thos eof us who don't smoke). When someone tries to use only themselves as a weapon, then we will suddenly have to admit there is little we can do to 'prevent' everything. Unless we just ban ourselves from going anywhere... That day may be coming. Remember the short story from Kurt Vonegut, Jr. Ballerinas with ankle weights - to make us all equal..?
TommyHeld
Some people call this syndrome a "knee jerk reaction" which is an emotional rather than an analytical response to something.
As a high school teacher, I can tell you, that sometimes it works well to punish everyone for the antics of a few.
The point is well taken Derek. Thanks for the food for thought.
Vernon
Wow, the owner needs a hug is right. If you don't mind, I might print this out and leave it secretly in the break room of my day job because they need to read it.
The interesting thing is, is that all that diner really does by posting those signs is probably turn people away because its so unfriendly. I'd be thinking "Geez if I accidentally drop this soup bowl, I sure hope the owner doesn't shoot me!" Though the signs are about following up with the law and not being violent, it is a slippery slope when you are that paranoid or jaded.
Also, how time consuming was making all of those signs? All that focusing on negativity is never good. I would guess that the owner must thrive on conflict.
Thank you for your post, I always love reading what you have to say.
(Keeping in mind that I am in Texas...where it is warm or hot for 10 months out of the year...) Of all the bogus rules that I see posted on windows of shops and resturants...NONE is more ridiculous than "Must Wear Shoes". There IS NO health code (here) regarding 'customers' having to wear shoes in a retail establishment or resturant. There is only an OSHA rule for kitchen workers. That rule is to protect the workers from slipping...NOT to protect the food from feet. I mean...I am not going to eat with my feet! But they would rather me enter their eating establishment wearing the shoes THAT I HAVE NEVER WASHED as long as I've owned them...rather than in my bare feet which I was every day. Just absolutely STUPID!
So...because one dumbass stubbed his toe on the doorstep or something...now everyone else (who actually watch where they are walking) has to wear hot, stinking, uncomfortable shoes in order to enter their WallyMart.
I totally get what you are saying man.
(Obviously...I hate shoes...ha.)
http://barefooters.org/
Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign
Um...I would have been a bit more grammatically correct...had I not been steaming with anger. The resistance toward barefoot living issue is a major annoyance in my life.
The best sort of revenge is not to be like those who do the injury.
Barking, growling signs like that tell me the owner is a cranky little mutt who snaps at everything. Life is too short to put up with bad tone, cheap beer or bitchy businesses. My money spends elsewhere. Sure, I've been hit with bad checks at gigs. If they needed the music that bad, I'm honored!
I've always wondered if anyone has ever taken those signs literally and come in without pants? What could be said?
You're right Derek,
I remember, that something I did as a little child at school,the school changed their rulebook, in order of that event. And a few hundred students were punished because of me.
but it's strange how people narrow down their own freedom because someone else did something inappropriate.
Like the Europeans who now have to let their fingerprints taken to go to the USA.
Well as long as that rule is, I'm not going to the US. No government needs to take my biometric ID.
grtz from Belgium ;)
Derek
I think this is more about managing our minds and thoughts than setting up rules to control others, putting up a no stealing sign is only going to be read by non thieves and create mal ease with the actual clientele. I think the no shirt no shoes is health code in some areas.
From a neutral perspective though, too many signs is revealing, like too many bumper stickers on a car. The latest shtick on bumper stickers is, the more bumper stickers on the car the closer they are to road rage, perhaps it’s the same with over assigning rules on your store front and assigning all those restrictions to children, who could benefit from a little juice. The wrong people are in charge, possible anger issues.
You have struck on to something that reminded me about the Master Key.
Wow, this is a master key to the human psyche. Like a gold nugget in the mine of words.
Every day thousands of little things happen to us that are good for us and good to us, and then occasional bad things happen, o f course, what matters most is how we react and interpret the situation. Most of us remember the bad things readily, but struggle to remember the good. Most of us have common experiences in life, sickness, physical limitations, monetary shortfalls, deaths and births. What most of us do though is to live through life without making a conscious choice of how we will be after, and during, the moment of disaster. We let life dictate to us, moment to moment, how happy or sad we are and not making a conscious choice of what we are to be. Take this moment for instance, are you happy? Sad? Neutral?.... Agitated? …What do you want to be? Happy, sad, mad, punished? Take a second and pick one.
Now the exercise begins, I choose happy. In this moment and for the next fifteen seconds I’m going to be happy.
After fifteen seconds passes, I will have to choose again, I may choose angry, or sad, because there times when we need to grieve and time when we need anger, as long as we choose it and it is not chosen for us.
Most of the time I am choosing happy and the more frequently I renew the choice the easier it is to stay in that moment. I am the ruler and decision maker for my body. My mind is not my body and my surroundings are not my mind. I am the consciousness of my mind , the decision maker ,and I will decide when it is time to stop being angry, and stop grieving, and stop the pity party. All of these emotions are valid and appropriate human needs, and expressions, but too much causes physical destruction.
Stress is a real killer, so is grief.
Happiness on the other hand is a heath and vitality restorative and should be given to yourself often. And if you think you don’t deserve it, well just give yourself fifteen seconds, guilt free. With a little practice it becomes automatic. If you slip away, catch your self and choose again. Do not let others pick your mood
Choose your own mood. .
that's the most useful article i've read in ages. there are definitely cases when one incident is emblematic of a larger problem and merits a policy change, but those cases are extremely rare, and in our everyday lives, we probably don't encounter them very often. it's so easy to put up barriers in an attempt to stay safe, but the unfortunate effect can be to insulate oneself from a lot of great people and opportunities. thanks!
Reactionary anything is the antithesis of reason.
It's funny how new rules are created due to the bad behaviour of a few people while the good behaviour of the majority is ignored.
Derek and the rest of you who are opposed to someone with a private business, wanting to make a pleasant atmosphere for the majority of his customers: get over yourselves!!! Who in their right mind would want to frequent a business that allows no shirts and no shoes-ugggghhhh! If you went back to this establishment and actually spoke to the owner, I'm sure he has many long time customers who are perfectly happy that he wants people with common decency to have an enjoyable dinner without a steady stream of noncustomers lining up for the loo
Its his right, as an American owning a private business 
You didn't tell us how long this owner has been in business. That would be an interesting case study for you Derek...you could go back and see how this owner and staff interacts with his customers. Also, check to see the happiness level at the diner...a little market research...and get back to us with the results. I'm very curious.
Ok, thank you to all of the Americans who disagree with Derek about the one lone guy who lit his shoe on fire on the plane. Really...I mean really...this terrorist and his network of freedom-haters, is responsible for our increased security. Thank God that we have a government that takes our security seriously(well, except for the latest non-terrorist who tried to blow up a plane full of Americans right over Detroit). And, Yoan, poster from Belguim, don't they have soldiers with machine guns patroling your country's airports? Please, do stay in your country if you don't appreciate that our government is trying to keep America safe for not only it's citizens, but also foreigners who visit our country. I don't mind that as a blond haired blue eyed mom of 3; I have been picked out of line and given the wand treatment and the pat down. My Armenian father who travels at least once a month to foreign countries, willingly submits when "randomly profiled" because of his dark complexion. He values the freedom we have in America, the freedoms not seen in the countries he often visits. And as a first generation American, who studied hard to become a doctor, I wouldn't be suprised if he had a sign in his office, that says "no shoes, no shirt, no service"
Thank you Derek, for waking me up on a sleepy Saturday...wow...you hit all the right buttons
This is the best posting you have ever put!!!!! Show this to more people!!!!!!!!!!
I really cannot stand what has happened with the airlines. You pay them A LOT of money to be treated pooly. Strip searched. Shoes removed. Herded like cattle.
No Bottled water (or anything else). Have to sit (Quietly) in your seat the last hour of your flight. Machines that see through your clothes (Which they claim cannot save the pictures, but one perv guard with a cell phone...). I will not fly again util the FAA or "Whoever" get's it's head out of whatever orifice it has it in and realizes that every nuance is not for MY safety. I can walk to wherever I want to go, just takes longer.
Oh, Manda Mosher, we may have come out naked, and I may want to see you naked, but trust me... you do NOT want to see me naked or, and trust me, even with out my shoes... Nasty!!
I'm in Cali right now and I saw a sign today that said that exact thing... we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone..kinda freaked me out..I've never seen a sign like that before..now I get this blog from you...I'm with you Derek.. some buisness owners may need a hug and probably acquire some better people skills...wish you all could enjoy this Cali sunshine..Keep'em coming Derek!
the signs themselves would put me off visiting the establishment.
turn it on its head....
due to the 'law'
1/ you're welcome if you don't smoke.
2/ we're not keen on thieves.
3/ shoes are needed for your protection
4/ tell us all a good joke and your first coffee is free AND you can take your shirt off
I do want some grape juice.
I would go in even if the sign said no Kevin,
Hi I'm Woody
Maybe it's a den of shirtless, shoeless, thieves
Could be local humor
I'd like to run in there with a bank bag, shirtless, and shoeless and say hide me! and an order of grape juice!
Hello Derek,
Yes, I totally agree, but I Suppose there may be exceptions. It would depend on the severity of the situation. Sometimes I think our culture has become too easy on folks who do the wrong thing, and that's partly what's wrong with our society today. But for the most part I agree with what you wrote, Derek. Thanks for this opportunity to share. Sincerely, Clay Wilson
SIGN,SIGN EVERYWHERE A SIGN ,,OH BY THE WAY DEREK,,I AGREE SINGLE OUT THE BAD APPLE SAVE THE REST..
S.Dee
Real good artickle, I can honestly see it both ways, and it is ashame that everyone suffers for one persons stupidity, I guess its just a way of thinking we can keep that situation from happening again if we regulate it. I think the signs I seen would probably keep me from going in that store, sounds like a gangster hangout. The world is becoming a little more corrupt these days and a lot of business owners are hurtin. I cut and color hair for an occupation and I occasionally get the client that gets her hair done and pays with a credit card, later she calls the owner hating her hair and wants her money back, of course we give it back,later you find out she does this in different locations. I think ya gotta handle things however you feel is right for you. If its a sign go for it. If its kickin some ass, go for it, if its just givin people the benefit of the doubt, so be it. I did like your artickle brother. Thanks! Gatorjaw
Right on, Derek! We have all been punished for the mistakes of others for far too long!
Funny@atulrana. Writing a song I think would have a major impact especially if it is commercial. This is a very informative article as I'm sure hundreds of business owners would react. I think now I see what their reaction can do to overall business and probably in the heat of the moment of getting ready to lay down some strict rules, they can think about the overall implications from it. Great stuff as always Derek!
Keith Kritselis??? Really? You are so put out by the whole shoe thing that you are tempted to bring a bomb to the airport? Are you really that selfish and oblivious? Shame on you Keith.
People are human. Human's make mistakes. Its how you correct those mistakes and learn from them that makes the difference. Obviously, that diner is owned by the perfect human being. I would like to purchase stock, obviously the owner makes a ton of money!
Interesting. We judge ourselves by our intentions, and we judge others by their actions!
Derek,
This is an example of what they call "managing for the 3%" that's covered in Freedom, Inc.
If one of your employees steals a pen you come up with a policy to have someone guard the supply room and require checking materials out. That leads to reduced productivity for everyone else that overshadows the money saved from the theft.
there's something about this article and the variety of thought within the comments which keeps niggling the back of my mind as I potter about on a damp sunday morning.
the shop owner is making a business out of interacting with the wider world.
he puts up his own rules of entry because we don't all share 'common values.'
..... well perhaps most of us mean no harm and wish our fellow man a happy life but - boy - do we interpret differently.
I'm old enough to remember a childhood where to fight with a knife was considered cowardly.
a suicide bomber was an insanity which almost no-one had entertained.
we had governments who weren't so obviously owned by private banks.
we now have a society tending towards complete lack of trust in government intentions, corporate power, globalisation etc ad nauseum.
an unease pervades those of us 'fortunate' enough to own shoes, shirt and money for a trip to the coffee shop.
the signs in question are scrawled in a frustrated hand which was probably holding a coffee cup which is metaphorically half empty.
thanks for the article. It doesn't have to have a point for it to be valuable.
I haven't resolved the niggle but it's good to know I'm not alone.
heheheh ... just realised I'm sitting here shirtless, shoeless, a smoker and about to wash myself in coffee.
hooray fo everything
Malcom Gladwell's latest book has a similar story about how pit bulls were banned in one city after attacking some kids. The city bureaucrats' knee-jerk reaction failed to uncover that the owner shouldn't of had a dog in the first place, was keeping them agitated, and some carelessness on the parents' part. Nope, easier to just ban the breed rather than take care of the real problem. Seems this is an all to human characteristic, hopefully one we will train out of ourselves.
no farting should be added, especially in nyc.
twice i was poisoned by a farter, once in a neighborhood breakfast joint where a customer left a silent deadly stinker while we were eating eggs & pancakes.
once at the movies where the jerk a few rows up front left a loud stink bomb then turned around & smiled.
no cellphones---great policy especially when you are sitting somewhere to eat.
no shoes---keeps a biz from getting sued by a jerk who cuts (maybe intentionally) his feet
no smoking---a biz that allows it gets fined.
no bathroom use----was in a place where someone shit in the sink, also where someone kicked the toilet off it's foundation.
Yet another example of "One punishment fits all": After the Rhode Island club fire a couple of years ago the University of Maine system wouldn't book any musician (including solo folk guitarist) unless they carried $1M personal liability policy AND $1M vehicular liability policy. They have backed off on this since, but the speed of this knee-jerk reaction was breathtaking.
Hey D,
Well said, I HATE that kind of response in ANYTHING I do, TRUST !!
is essential and we are in a non trust suspicious culture.
I wonder why one would have a service oriented business and tell people how not interested they are in actually serving the customer
gee, derek, sounds like you're having a satori moment. this post-entrepreneurial space/time is doing you good! keep poppin' those insights!!
Great article. You prevented me from becoming a dumb boss. Thanks, D.
Good point Derek!
My thought on Derek's focus per his article is that while the intention is noble, it simply will never be 'the way of the world'.
That is because human nature remains 'stuck' in 'Im gonna getcha sucka' mode and whenever an individual, business, etc., offends someone's gotta pay.
That is how we human's exact our own brand of justice.
Quite frankly, I don't have a problem with an 'I'm gonna get you sucka' mind set After all, if anyone posting here had a wife or girlfriend, and they got raped while you were out of town. Wouldn't you look into a 'home security' system? That is a way of punishing ALL because of one person's evil deed. You would no longer trust anyone who came around the home that you didn't know, etc., You see?? No matter how hard we attempt to 'purge' ourselves of this 'Im gonna getcha sucka' mindset it is very deeply ingrained within our being. There are very few exceptions if any.
I prefer to deal with the world the way it IS. After all, it's STILL a pretty dangerous place!
Use your heads.....
Derek,
Thank You
These are powerful steps to keep everything balanced.
It's NOT Punishing ANYBODY.
RULES ARE RULES and Attorneys are OUT FOR Money! His Lawyer Probably
suggested the Signs because He KNOWS the Territory.
We can't Blame the Owner, who is trying to stay ahead of a legal Issue.
Listen to his "WORDS". Even though they are on SIGNS.
Seek to UNDERSTAND before SEEKING to be UNDERSTOOD.
I agree. A friend of mine owns a retail store and allowed one of his more anxious employees to create the signs for behind the counter. Just as you describe, they conveyed all the friendliness of ransom notes glued together from jagged scraps of print.
Is it too late to cc the whitehouse?
Well said, An existing but unknown crime or error could come to light because it happened once. But then the decision (to punish)might be viewed as a precautionary measure getting you wiser.
It's not only to remember the 100.000 that didn't but to think of the 100.000 that are yet to come to pass....where is the ballance?
have a great day, Derek
You cannot change the way people act or re-act.
Salutations Derek, Ah yes, virtues are in short supply, vices in over
abundance. No one gets the benefit of the doubt, and everyone doubts the benefits. Verily, the "tempter"
is laughing all the way to hell.
Very few can "resist the urge" because they don't know where the urge is coming from. "Decent" is in
"Descent" and "Trust" is bust, that
is what has happened and is happening to us. Of course you are
correct in your advice, but it will
only apply to people who have a tendancy to be nice. Artificial "officials" have engraved their initials upon our souls, to hell with everything is their only goals. Write On...Dr. J
concentrating on the negative attracts more of it...
Great advice, Derek! I notice that many writers and composers have a tendency to similarly, keep wonderful music to themselves... never to be heard by other ears or shared with the world because they are afraid of being "ripped off" or have their royalties diminished.
In most cases, not only do they never get their music published nor do they get signed to a label... but their music and art dies a slow death - relegated to sitting as an MP3 file in a computer, with perhaps the only indication there ever was any music to be discovered to be found as obscure musical notes on a piece of scrap paper and little else.
Invariably, when you ask them why, they will tell you its because they 'heard a story' of other artists having their work ripped off and someone else making a fortune.
Its sad that this gives rise to a mentality that is almost guaranteed to prevent them from achieving their dream anyway, as they paralyze themselves with fear!
Derek,
I like your positive attitude. There is a tendency to focus on the few bad things and forget about all the wonderful things. Sometimes simple, universal policies are required, but these should be thought through carefully. (I'm a teacher, and I agree with our school's no-gum policy--Come look under my desks before you respond. On the other hand, I'm not a gum Nazi. I'm not going to waste my time hunting down all masticators--Sorry, I just wanted to use a big word.)
i think on a very human level, be hurt and therefore guard yourself from more hurt by avoiding any situation or eventuality with similarities is perhaps an automatic and most understandable response. the trick is not to be bitter, and exercise choice. nice ideal i know..
i always find the "don't do this" and list of "no's" a bit bullying, limiting and boring and wonder why they don't use positive language and advise what to do, instead of what not.
Hi Derek
I'm not against the symbols:
WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE
NO SMOKING
If someone is eating in a place and someone else hadn't got a shower in a long time, his clothes stink , scream all the time and farts, well, I prefer that there is a policy against that.
And some people want to force others to breath tobacco smoke just because they are addicted to it. Let's put it clear, the natural thing is not to smoke, not the other way around.
But otherwise, Derek, you have a point:
When I was at the University laboratory, I wanted to connect some computers to Internet(kB/sec of bandwidth)for working better and have real problems doing that because one person used the connection to download his personal torrent songs and films(MB/sec). Instead of punishing him, they punished all and locked the system so it could not be improved.
More than 80% traffic accidents are done by less than 20% of the people. Instead of focussing on this people, they don't focus at all(they love fine taxes).
This kind of sign makes me want to go in in the loudest shirt possible with 3 foot long shoes on (like a clown's), an UNLIT cigarette in my mouth and do the loudest fart imaginable (not prohibited!)before complaining about the standard of everything inside and then walking out!
I am totally clear about your point. But...what happened? to make you make this very real point?
Sounds like life coaching. Huh?
you really summed the clash of the left brain vs the right brain. It's the right brainers who make the best policies as they can see the big picture (visual simultaneous intelligence) but most of the world and most policies are made by left brainers (linear sequential minds) so they plod along in a straight line, deleting everything one by one, unable to see all the connections they are destroying by single mindedness. Its the right brainers who move the human race forwards and the left brainers that hold it back. 75% of the planet needs to learn to use the right brain more (as Einstein said). right brain = open minded unity with risk taking. left brain = divided, fearful and closed. Great post as always Derek. Other altruists take note.
Yes, sad but true,
but that is the way the world is... but there is an answer.
Reff:
http://bible.cc/romans/5-12.htm
ps. I've saved this post, and will be printing it out and posting it when needed. hehe ;-)
pps. The future of humankind is to reach a state where no law is needed for anything. intelligent self-discipline is to aspired to (as proposed in Star Trek) ;-)
If I can do it, I don't see why everyone else can't. *giggle*
Derek, I've always enjoyed your posts. Your writings are such an inspiration to me. I'm about to send this link to the owner of a yoga school where I take classes. Suddenly, they've enacted a new policy of kicking out the students immediately after the class finishes, barely allowing them time to get dressed. What a buzz-kill. Oh, and kudos to David Griffith for his beautiful post (#158). I very much enjoyed reading that.
Excellent article, that's a good way to think about it. I need to pass this on to several people I know.
I am learning to be careful about using the word you when criticizing something or someone --- you is you --- I is me --- I'm the only one who can take a close look at myself and observe my shortcomings --- everyone has faults --- I've learned a more important lesson is to be able to experience everything and only cause those things which are easy for others to experience --- I can only speak for myself.
my model is treat each and everyone accordingly with repect to that person and not out of what someone else did to you prior or present it's not the same person man !!!!!you might need a time out and a hug.
When I moved to NYC from California, my mother-in-law had stenciled her SSAN on every thing in her house. She was living in fear of being robbed. Nowadays, she's living in fear of someone finding one of those pieces and stealing her identity. If I were approaching the diner and saw all those signs, I would feel offended and not give them my business. We live in a fear based world in many ways, and it tends to punish people on a grand scale. But, having lived with it most of our lives, we hardly notice until someone like you points it out ... ... ...
Larry Hunter
Hi Derek,
Very elevated viewpoint. As always, thank you for the enlightened insights. Take care,
Todd
OK Derek, so yes a second post from me. I still stand by my first post... "but" I had to go one step further. Because I read this post, now I find myself reading the signs.
Before I paid no attention to them. Now I do. Thanks. Can anyone recommend a good therapist?
Life is short, focus on the things that make you happy. - Michael
Brilliant!
Agreed in principle. Last year we published our "booking policy" and rates on the website, because the cancellations and non-payment had gotten completely out of control. We're polite about it, and have a nice contract that protects both the client AND the artist. Of course, we would love to be able to do bookings with a phone call and a handshake, but the percentage of "bad" outweighed the "good."
You are right on point when dealing with customers, but companies do this too when dealing with their own employees. A couple of people send around a tasteless joke, the next thing you have is a policy where people can get fired for passing around tasteless jokes and a series of seminars teaching you not to make any jokes at all, because after all, who is to decide what is tasteless? But talk directly to the 3 people who actually caused the problem? Not very likely.
Similarly, you can't let a good worker work at home occasionally, because then this will set a precedent! What will you do when the slacker demands to work at home? You'll be stuck! (Umm, how about saying "Sorry, Phil, it's hard to keep you on track when I'm right here next to you. If you can be totally diligent about your job for the next six months, ask me again and we'll see!")
Good point Derek...no this or that or a bunch of other things allowed could also translate into no business and no customers...
Very Best Regards,
George
Hey Derek, Do you actually read all the responses that you get from your posts? I do. Its really exhausting.
-- Derek
Yes I do, and it's very educational.
Words are powerful.
Peace, Love & Respect !
Michael
I've never looked at it that way...
I now have one more reason to hate policy makers. Thank you.
Seems like many people become focused on cynicism and the negative point of view.
I applaud any efforts on positive reinforcement and inspiration. It is much more productive.
Just throwing it out there but I'm wondering how we let people know what is acceptable behaviour in a location that someone has put their heart and soul into creating and progressing? I suggest we live in a culture that promotes individual rights above social conscience?? Would organisations have to make 'blanket statements' if we thought a little bit less about us and little bit more about how what we do effects others? Dunno (a good Aussie word for this may be a dumb statement!!!). A.
Thanks for this blog. Of course since I work in music I apply it to music & my recent woes with digital piracy. It's easy to see it as "us versus them" & theft (which in a certain way it is). But if you start seeing you fans/customers as your enemy further alienation is all that happens. So what do you need to do? Try to find new income sources instead of making enemies.
Hey Derek
I loved this article. There is so much naysaying in the world, when there should be more affirmation. It should be 'No Shirt No Shoes No Problem'! They're not eating with their feet or their nipples for god's sake! The people who have written negative comments to this article aren't getting the big picture. Besides, it is your blog, and you can write about anything you like on your own space!
Derek,
I've encountered this mentality in the corporate world. A firm I worked for had a policy of issuing guidelines to everyone in the department, instead of the actual culprit, when there was a violation of company rules. The reason was pretty obvious: in today's litigious society, they were so terrified of a retaliatory lawsuit that they preferred to affront the entire department with a suggestion that otherwise dependable employees might abuse their privileges too. Personally, I didn't appreciate the implication that nobody in the department -- including me -- was trustworthy; but I had to consider the company's motive and live with it. On a much larger scale, Americans have yielded significant civil rights -- rights that were won and preserved at great cost by our ancestors -- in deference to our government's fearful, knee-jerk reaction to terrorism. Your reference to the idiot shoe-bomber is well-taken. It has long struck me that our American society, while enamored of self-conscious macho-ism à la Dirty Harry, has rendered itself less and less deserving of the epithet "Home of the Brave." What passes for bravery among many seems more akin to the "courage" of a bully, which, stripped of its veneer, proves to be nothing nobler than rank cowardice.
Great writing.
I remember in my mid-20's once an elderly lady said to another elderly lady..."I'll never trust another person again, after what she did to me, ever. Ever!
And I remember thinking to myself, "Whatever lesson she was supposed to learn, I think she missed the point."
I get your point.
But I think that if this general behavior happens is must be because of some strong reason.
I've been an owner of a business and that's delicate and fragile task because anything can make you go bankrupt or make you loose money. That means that a few bad actions from a few bad people can make you go out of business and the rest of the 100,000 customers will do nothing to save you. Damages and wasted time are not reversible.
People with bad intentions will cause damages anyways, that's for sure, but everyone else can not claim ignorance of the rules.
Maybe because of the excessive rules the business will lose a few customers, but that loss is less money than the cost of damages made by a few bad guys if you don't set the rules.
Thanks.
This what the REAL world has become and if you DO NOT establish ground rules from the begining people will walk all over and try to take advantage you at any given time..Life isnt made up of group hugs,fairey kisses and butterflies!
What if there is corruption and incompetence throughout the system?
Dig this one Derek. Thanks.
Funny, I always do the opposite: I make it clear from the beginning what the rules are.
Not out of punishing anyone. But out of self respect.
At my place of employment, we all have passes that allow us into the building at any time. There was a guy here who came in one night to look up porn on his computer. He was drunk, and actually left the porn up on his computer, and left his shoes behind as well. Needless to say, he was begging to be fired, and he was...but nothing was changed regarding our rights to come and go as we please. That was enough to tell me I'm working at an ENLIGHTENED company.
At the other end of the spectrum, I used to work at a major retail chain, that had the following policy: If any merchandise sold by a commissioned salesperson was returned, the salesperson lost his commission on that merchandise. The "wisdom" being, it would keep salespeople from having their friends buy big items and then return them after the salesperson has gotten his/her commission. Would someone actually ever enact such a scheme? Sure...maybe one person for every 300 honest people who'd never even dream of it. So this was a classic example of punishing the many for the potential wrongs of a very few.
I completely agree with you Derek, I would never eat at a place that had that much negativity blatantly posted on the front door. I would step foot anywhere near that place.
In regard to shoes and airports, I am ALL for full body x-ray machines. What have I got to hide? Nothing. If it prevents a plane from being hijacked then I am all for it.
You always make me think. Thanks for that!
I certainly agree that it's unfair to blame those who are innocent of "violations" by way of someone's business rules-(I put violations in quotes, because while some of the so called "violations" are fair, there are others that I think go a bit too far. And yet there are other types of business owners-(i.e. in professions considered less blue collar) who might "intentionally" want to spoil things for people more. That's a concept I feel that's even worse. And I've found that some of those people are much too touchy about the littlest things and seem to have a negative disposition alltogether to go along with it-(sigh). Granted we all make mistakes, but as I always say: there's levels...
Management advice from Ghengis Kahn:
"The beatings will continue until morale improves."
Yes, very good point Derek!
Sometimes more than one person makes the same mistake and you have to "lay the law down." I try to minimize these, but students of mine MUST pay in advance and on time or they pay a late fee. This really did help me out, everyone now pays on time w/o problems as apposed to the 5 students who always used to pay late, and possibly never pay.
I think it is important to also include things that are positives when posting a sign/policy. I think customers would feel more welcome with a bunch of positives, and then pointing some negatives out in a positive fashion as well. I'd probably come back more often if I felt more welcome!
Great point Derek!
You could argue this same effect causes government to grow.
Something bad happens (Enron) and everybody is punished (Sarbanes Oxley). Most legislation comes out a bad event where people "something must be done about this!". The casualty is growing taxes and loss of freedom.
As usual, things had been building up.
A few years ago, on Easter Sunday, I was verbally attacked by my younger siblings for not socializing with them the moment I got to my parents house.
My niece and youngest son wanted me to play Monopoly and after 20 minutes the shit hit the fan.
They SCREAMED at the top of their lungs to me and my wife for a good 15 minutes!
Now, I have always been a fighter… always with a quick come back.
Not this time.
I sat there quietly and let them spit their venom out on me.
I realized, instantly, that by staying calm and not retaliating, they wouldn’t be able to find any justification for what they did.
They were astonished that I never spoke up… they expected me to.
It placed them on the hook.
I haven’t seen them since that day.
They remain, where they belong, on the hook.
Some people deserve what they get.
In the old days business' was smaller. They pretty well new their customers by name or something about them. People were more honest.. a handshake was their word. You could leave the keys in your vehicle or your home unlocked. It was rare for theft except maybe the largest cities.
Now you had better leave out a "Wet Floor" sign because sombody is going to sue you.
Can anyone explain why all the dissenting comments on here have links that lead to Christian-focused web sites?
Yeah Derek, you have highlighted quite a big problem with our society and us 'human beings' this has become endemic and has made our lives so dull retricted and boring ! when u think about it it's effects are rife ! one poor boy drowns in a lake and the no swimmimg signs go up, someone dives in a pool and accidently hits someone the no diving signs go, someone tries to save someone on the sidewalk and does but then gets sued cos his handkerchief was dirty so now its safer for passers by to watch someone die rather than help for being sued. Even in sports which are inherently dangerous which people participate in for the danger and excitement suffer from it, if someone crashes on a dangerous corner in motor racing they change the circuit and put in chicanes until the circuit just isnt as exciting anymore. Over here in England the roads are ridiculous they have taken good roads and filled them up with large mounds that you must slow down speed up slow down speed up to go over, you constantly have to brake and slow down for speed cameras or they take your photo fine you and put 3 points on your licence when you get twelve you are banned from driving. It also happens in relationships...we all know the story...yeah my last boyfriend was a bastard, treated me really badly,....'I will never trust another man, all men are bastards ! I will get a dog ....ok it craps all over the garden, makes the house smell, does nothing for me, costs a fortune in dog biscuits....but it never hurts me lol !!! xxx luv Si
ps. perhaps we should move into the sign making business ! WARNING DANGER ! THE SIGN BELOW THIS IS NOT SECURED PROPERLY !
PS WARNING ! ANYONE DEFACING THE WARNING SIGN ABOUT THE SIGN WILL BE PROSECUTED! LOL !
Hi Derek,
Very useful post. Sent it to many of my HR friends [much to their frustration]!
Cheers,
Anita
Too true Derek. Best to avoid reactionary, negative mind states!
Love as if you were the only one who knows what it means... Be the example of what love is...operate with kindness even when the other person is an unpleasant, malignant organism. Stand for love and forgiveness, never fall for the fiery misiles of distain and dispise, humble yourself in your own mind and grab the peace of mind that happy people with clean consciences pocess! This will protect your mental powers!
WEITHER ITZ ONE PERSON OR A LARGE CO. OR GROUP THAT TRIEZ TO KNOCK YOUR FEET OUT FROM UNDER YOU, JUST REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!!! TO FORGIVE AND TO FORGET IZ PROBABLY ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGZ YOU'LL EVER DO AS A HUMAN!!! REMEMBER THE NEXT TIME YOU GET UP TO BAT, IF YOU CAN'T KNOCK IT OUT OF THE PARK THEN DONT TRY, JUST MAKE SURE YOU MAKE IT HOME!!!!!!!!!!! HOME IZ WHERE THE HEART IZ ANYHOW,RIGHT?
I agree...I helped start a farmer's market in a little town in Illinois that wanted to grow in every way.(Tourism,restaurants,historicalvenues, etc.)
But the rules and signage added up to this-
Welcome!No Trespassing!!!!!!
I see that all too often in business, in individuals and over the top in the "buy local" movement. You want customers? More local food and folks who'll gladly grow it? Apply the welcome sign, throw away the contradicting attitudes of
no trespassing- and growth is guaranteed.
Good article, Derek. It's thought provoking, to say the least. We're often tempted to regulate the present, based on history, and nothing more. In some cases, I suppose it's the right thing to do. But in others, it's just stupid. Which is which? Well, you just pointed out a few good ones! Thank you.
I agree, but there is an old saying,
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
For instance, with the spilled juice story, maybe they needed sturdier cups or cups only half filled. Sometimes people can't figure out how to correct a problem, and the drastic actions they take may be punishing the rest of the world, but that isn't necessarily their intention. They just haven't explored creative solutions.
Totally agree on this post, but for some strange reason I would LOVE to try this diner. Reminds me a bit of this Italian guy in New York not allowing his clients to mix two flavors of his ice cream, because it’s just too much work for him to make them to have some ignorants mix them up.
Weird little rules in weird little stores somehow can be… well, likable.
Too sensible Derek, how come you're not in the US Federal government? Try this logic/sense on international intel agencies.
Sono daccordo che non si può punire tutti per l'errore di uno.Chi lo fa sta facendo solo il male di se stesso.
Good advice, Derek. It is so easy to be reactionary. Thanks for the reminder.
I always point out that in the states you can't buy a full cup of coffee anymore because one idiot spilled some on herself. My cousin, who lives in Hong Kong, thought that was an urban legend and didn't realise she actually did sue McDonald's!
Someone once tried to play a joke on me with a can of peanuts that had something pop out when you opened the lid. It would have been funny had it not been for the big label on the lid: "Caution! Open slowly!"
This is a perfect example of how liberals think, and this current president and administration is a shining example. Most Americans are hard working and independent people, but because of a select few who are too lazy or lack the motivation or know how to excell, the rest of us are taxed through the roof to pay for their handouts.
Most of us are responsible enough to care for our health and to purchase health insurance. But because a small minority are too cheap or just too stupid to provide any for themselves, this socialist government is threatening to force all of us to buy insurance controlled by them, which will be a certain disastor.
Everything about this article is just what socialisim is, and as long as this hack from back alley Chicago remains in office get used to more of this "it's not fair that everyone doesn't bla bla bla so we need to take from you and give to them bla bla bla."
I was in Camden market the other day, perusing the abundance of shops there. I wandered into one fo the vintage vlothing stores where they had some fantastic trousers. I pulled a few out from the rack, so they were hanging but poked out slightly. I was still browsing when the shop keeper approached, brusquely pushing the items back and saying, "Have some courtesy, a little car goes a long way."
I was ready to just leav at that because he obviously was very stressed to have anyone shopping in his store and didn't require customers if his requirment was to have everything neat. I often wonder how stressful it must be to be a person like him, but I never have to wonder veyr long. I can have compassion for it because I remember wanting to keep everything perfect all the time.
Such reactionary living can't be good for you.
May he have ease of mind.
"Learn to shrug."
Now THERE'S a sign that deserves posting! In fact, I may just print that off and hang it on the wall. If I had a wall that wasn't being painted right now. And if my printer wasn't buried in a pile in the middle of the room to make space for the construction workers. Who have been renovating the house for a year…
ACK! Learn to shrug! Learn to shrug!
immediately i'm thinking introspectively in that i have to forgive myself for my own mistakes. a lot of the times this is the most difficult thing to do, in truth i doubt we can ever really forgive ourselves or others, but rather, learn to forget and transcend past mistakes into better, wiser decisions
I sooo loved what you wrote here!
A department I worked for at a college, quite regularly had issues with a few employees who weren't performing their daily tasks as they should.
The employees in question varied, but one thing stayed constant... the whole department was called to a meeting and ticked-off for the mistakes and misdemeanors of the few.
When I protested and more or less said "don't blame me", I was reminded that we worked "as a team".
This "team player" idea, has largely been invented as a way of getting the more conscientious members of the workforce etc., to cover for the slackers.
I've seen this happen many times and the result is often a lowering of morale from the more valuable members of staff.
This attitude is far from being confined to the workplace of course...
People do this sort of thing all the time. I encounter this sort of attitude particularly with women who've had bad relationships with men and decide to treat every other guy out there like the bad guy who did them wrong. There is more of this going on out there in different situations, than we think. Just because I had a band full of clueless amateurs, doesn't mean that every musician I encounter should be approached as though they are clueless amateurs. Everyone should be dealt with on their own merit, based on their own behavior, not someone else's. In the case of one person doing something unsafe in a public place, and the powers that be deciding to enact rules to protect the safety of all and prevent one nut case from hurting or killing others, that's a safety issue and therefore isn't in the same category as a diner owner who wants to enact rules for his establishment to prevent certain types of behavior in his business location.
This was a great article.
So true that it costs so much more to flag wave a miserable attitude to all and sundry on account of the few.
Ian Bruce!!! Your Post inspired me!!! I thought I was the only one!!!
Too bad it was Shit in a sink...
I worked in corporate hell (Wal*Mart) as a Stockman, and we had a sink sitter one time... Now for the really funny part... (yes, there is a funny part to shit in a sink) We had a new stockman on our crew so he got "shit detail" and we got him some new rubber gloves and told him to remove the errant turd from the sink. After a few minutes we checked on him and he hadn't removed it, he was mashing it thru the drain!!! AAARRGHH!!!
Nasty and funny at the same time... we about died laughing and he was trying not to get sick... to funny...
I would not be able to travel if there were not public bathrooms, so I always try to leave them better than I entered them, but most are disturbing.
Ian Bruce, you also mentioned cell phones, I, as a personal choice, do not have one. and I cannot stand when someone get's on one in a movie theater. I have asked people to leave, before, and been rude when they get loud on them...
Time and a place for everything I guess, but not there...
Every deal/transaction is different so everyone has good credit with me until they don't anymore and your good name carries weight to whoever or whatever dealings you bring to the table, but a bad name carries that same weight. I promote club parties and they're big on dress codes in Vegas to weed out the undesirables, but I look at the total package and that person's credit with me so when one guy and his party can get in with high end baggy jeans, tennis shoes, & s dress shirt another that I don't know wouldn't. And that guy with good credit better police up his own party while there to keep his good credit standing.
I didn't take the time to read all 241 posts here but after reading the first posted response by Atul Rano, I'd have to agree with his concept. Being a songwriter, I've often drawn inspiration from my own experiences.
I have a friend, Robert OneMan Johnson, who is a wonderful songwriter. I've been playing his songs for years.
OneMan wrote a reeeally good one to go along with the subject of those little signs. He called it his protest song, "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service". He even pokes fun at the idea in the introduction to his song by saying that he's started a protest organization called, The Society Against NS NS NS. Their only annual function is march down Main Street in small towns all across America on the 4th of July in nothing but what those little signs require, shoes and a shirt.
I love how he was able to take the subject of those little signs and twist the whole concept together with humor into a really great song. I've played OneMan Johnson's song, "No Shos, No Shirt, No Service" for decades and it never fails to entertain listeners.
thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you for putting this out into the world. This thought, this idea is so much better than the norm. Your lifting people higher
We only have control over the things in our domain. If you want to make the world a better place, start with your little slice.
I think thats good from a reactionary point of view, but I take the stand that its important for a small business to constantly analyze its mistakes and those of its customers and use the early days to try to formulate better procedures and policies.
The trick is to not be reactionary, unless its affecting your bottom line, then dont make any changes for at least 1 week. In that time get feedback from your customers and employees about the policy change and hear out any concerns and unintended effects you havent considered. Ideally by letting your employees and customers be part of a new policy or procedure you are creating better loyalty inside and outside the company while making the company more efficient... people like transparency.
Hi Derek,
Your thoughts made me think on the big picture, yeah! we were about to set a new POLICY because one b... didn't pay us.
Thanks : )
Derek needs to have his own social commentary talk show. Hurray for the light, bright insight that is always such a delight and clearly black and white... yet shaded. What you write has a bite!
Bonjour Derek
Avec vous j'apprends toujours qhelque chose.
Merci Beaucoup
Excellente journée
Just be open to the ramifications of punishing others & accept responsibility for what happens when you do. Another great conversation, Derek.
I have ALWAYS agreed with the policy of not to punish everyone for the idiocy of one person. I run into ridiculous policies every day, and I must say that I'm sick of it.
Well said Derek.
great post. if only all governments would read and understand this
i am not running any business. Just an employee and still i have got the postive point how to behave with my junior co workers. This post leaves a good positive impact cuz this strategy is not only beneficial for business men but for every one to built a positive approach for their towards other.
"Learn to shrug"
I like that.
Have you ever lived in a area where the need for these kinds of signs were necessary to protect a
restroom in a clean manner for your customers?In some neighborhoods, people spent time bathing changing into new clothes and and leaving the room to messy for others to use.Maybe this is the reason for the rules. Ther are a few people that cause problems for the many. This poor guy may have had this event happen one too many times.
+++
Certain actions may call for strong measures .
Thanks Derek! Great read.
I am working my way back througy your short vignettes. This is one that I can pass on easily to people who have just experienced a rupture in a significant relationship and could use some sound direction. Thank you.
p.s. congrats on your marriage. She is a lucky gal and I am sure the reverse is also true.
Susan
This reminds of a member of congress drafting a bill requiring all of us to jump through a hoop because of an isolated incident, or worse authorizing a government agency to create hoops requiring reams of paperwork to be signed off on that no one -- NO ONE! -- ever reads. (Privacy notices, most mortgage paperwork, lead paint notices, etc.)