There are always more than two options
2010-01-27
Lately I've been helping a lot of friends with decisions. The common theme I've found is that they thought they had only two options.
That's not a decision. That's a self-created dilemma! The way out is to realize there are always more than two options!
Backing up: When someone says they only have one option, they're really saying, “I have no choice,” and you know that's wrong. (At very least, add “do nothing” and “go insane” as choices.)
When they say they only have two options, beware. It means they got stuck. Once people get two options, they start comparing the pros and cons of those two, and forget to think of more options.
But remember those silly creative brainstorming exercises we did as kids? As adults, people let the “real world” wear them down so much, they forgot that those lessons were not just for kids.
As an example, a friend was trying to decide between:
- sticking with his well-paying boring job
- or quitting to start his own company
I suggested some other options:
- Fully delegate your new company. Just fund it and direct it. Hire a manager that understands your vision, and spend only an hour a day overseeing it.
- Bring your new company idea to your boss, and propose it as a division of their company, so you can stay on salary.
- Go into work 2 hours early, but spend the first 2 hours just setting up your new company. Use lunch breaks and downtime as well. Do this until the income from the new company is 50% of your salary, then quit.
- Rent out your house for a year and be a house-sitter, to reduce your living expenses to almost-nothing, and take a year-long sabbatical, reading and learning as much as possible about this new industry you want to go into, so you can attack it with more confidence in a year when you return.
- Decide this new business is a hobby, not a business. But you hate your existing job anyway, so find a new job that would allow you the flexibility to spend a good part of each day or week on this new hobby that makes you happy.
- Go work for the leader in the field of your new company. Learn even more about that industry so when you're ready to launch your new company, you're doing it with full strategic advantage and connections.
- Be the worst employee ever, and show up to your boring job every day but refuse to do any work. Pretend to be super-busy all the time, but really just be working on your own company, on their dime. Use every sick-day and vacation day until scolded. Do this until fired.
- Do neither, and move to New Zealand's South Island to be a tour guide on the hiking trails.
- etc.
Some of those are intentionally silly, but made him say, “You made me realize I need a vacation before making a decision. I'm just feeling really stressed because of this new manager at work, and I was wanting a quick exit, but I think I need to confront this manager about our bad communication. It wasn't the new business that was inspiring me so much, but just needing to fix my current situation.”
Anyway - to my other friends out there who haven't come to me with decisions yet: Great insight only comes from opening your mind to many options. Brainstorm them all, from the hybrids to the ridiculous.
It takes under an hour, but has always helped my friends feel less stressed, think clearly, and honestly - get excited about a decision that used to feel like a dilemma.
We used to say (in order to remind of the illusion of polarity) - "On the other hand, I have different fingers..."
I love to brainstorm with people who have no idea what I'm talking about. The less information they have the wilder the ideas.
You can also have some darn brilliant ideas when you've relaxed your brain a bit; just remember that, if you and some friends are brainstorming over a few drinks, keep the recorder running. You won't be taking notes . . .
This is great insight. One of the great things about this kind of brainstorming is that it encourages us to examine our actual motives and goals in a more specific way than if we are just feeling stressed and reacting from a place of desparation. It sounds like that's what happened with your friend.
Great perspective coupled with the perfect visual. Thanks, as always.
We create our own reality, and our life is a book and we are the authors of our own biography and everyday is a new page. There really is only one option, and that is to spend your life and work doing that which is your true passion. Any less is a wasted life.
Great article! Good thinking!
greetings from rio,
The second hairstyle from the left on row two is quite flattering.
Rest and reflection are definitely the order of the day any time you are feeling "stuck" ! Often, those other choices aren't evident because you are stressing yourself out about it so much. As you take care of your physical needs (sleep, time off, good food) your brain is free to wander into fun, option-creating territory.
Great post!
Hair hair!
There are always more than two options, unless you're computer, it's either 1 or 0, who's going to change that ?
Great article, thanks for posting Derek!
I think this mind trap is common. I find myself falling into it often.
Matt
Sometimes it's easier making a decision when you've whittled it down to two options. Too many options can create unneeded confusion, especially when you're on a deadline.
But in theory I agree.
Whittling down to two options is great! It means you started with more than two. -- Derek
Thanks Derek!
Your piece is inspiring as usual.
I don't know if you ever got in contact with NLP Meta-model http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meta-model_(NLP) but your line of thought is a great example of a few empowering meta-model distinctions. Loved it.
Cheers,
Nick
Interesting. Thanks! -- Derek
You can agree with this article or not.
I also advise friends (and myself) not to get too far ahead of themselves. Dreaming about the future is great and so is planning for contingencies, but you can drive yourself nuts trying to speculate where every fork in the road goes. When you get to that fork (or six-way intersection) focus on that. Don't worry too much about the next intersection you can't even see.
i always look at it like.. that word or thought on the tip of your tongue.. you know it, and can even picture it, but for some reason you can't remember what it was.. you beat yourself up over it till you finally let go then out of no where it just pops in your head.. ahhhh.. life is the same. we make it harder than it really is. let go, walk.. doors open when you least expect it. I don't think life is about mapping every single step out.. I think it's about having a direction and going with your gut.
Er.....NZ South Island....far too cold...Whakatane on North Island...I highly reccomend....Only thing i disagrred with really....!!! jb
wooo hooo
Moving OUT of duality and IN
to our multidimensional selves!
Derek, I am going to copy and paste this URL into an e-mail and send it to myself so I can run carefully over these options during my boring job tomorrow. And just in case you thought I'd missed the point of the exercise, I'll add a bunch of my own options too. Cheers and greetings from England!
But not all people have great insight. It's like saying everyone can be a great songwriter or a star. Some people open their minds and options like yours don't come to them. That's why we need help from people like you.
The most profound thought in this article is that it may take till the 38th haricut to find that turn-around or the hidden passing tone to the perfect bridge, but to find it you have to go through the other 37 haircuts............As much greater Bluesmen and Blueswomen have said before me, "sounds like paying the dues!!!"
Insightful as usual. If you limit yourself to your 'options' you block out the infinite other possibilities open to you due to your focus on your 'only' two choices. Definitely pointed a few folks towards this blog post.
"You can agree with this article or not."
You can agree with parts of it and disagree with other parts of it.
You can ignore it completely.
You can re-write it from your own perspective.
You can simply pick apart the spelling and grammar. (E.g.: shouldn't it be titled" There is always more than two options"?
Great advice Derek. Don't let the “real world” wear you down. To make confident choices your mind must be sharp and unclouded. Exercises of this type help with both. Keep reading....
In the field of General Semantics, the habitual thought that there are only two options is called "The Two-Valued Orientation" (by S. I. Hayakawa) and is considered a form of insanity. It may be good for an intitial reaction or in dangerous moments when the flight or fight mechanism is engaged, but as a strategy for dealing with complex human issues it is unsatisfying in the long run. (See also "Science and Sanity" by Alfred Korzybski.)
The more preferable approach is "The Multi-Valued Orientation."
dls
Wonderfully geeky. I love it. Thanks Doug! -- Derek
thank you :o)>
All of them are acceptable...
Derek,
That was great! My website is under new construction because of a virus. Had to start all over again. Well,that will give me the opportunity to make it better. Back to what you were talking about. I will be sending this information to everyone I can. This is information that everyone should have. During these economic times you had better start thinking exactly like that. I did. Not only am I an performing artist, I am also a music educator. I have been working on a new curriculum that I as an artist came from brainstorming. I was downsized from a school after designing and implementing this curriculum. Lesson learned. Now I am working on my own, and talking to principals of schools and promoting my curriculum as a consultant. Now I have the time I always needed to pursue my other talent as well. At the same time I am setting up shows so I can continue to perform , working as a substitute when I want.
Please continue to send these great messages. I especially like the one about how you sold your company etc etc etc. Great stuff!
What a fun read. And a great close: "...get excited about a decision that used to feel like a dilemma."
I'll take that one away with me.
Amazing timing Derek. So true! It really enforces that we are the owners of our destiny and change happens from the inside out...not the other way around. Leveraging EVERYTHING that is available virtually risk free is key. Identifying some ways to do maintain two life tracks until you are ready to make the switch was really helpful. Sometimes making the leap, is not really all that far after all. I have seen people time and time again waffle on around the decision to "DO"...once done...it all just comes into place. So get over it, and "DO" it... Doing nothing, really not an option unless you want to stay where you are.
whooeeeeee!
the idea that there are always "two sides to every story" is so taken for granted that people overook the ridiculousness of it...i think it comes from humans having two of most things...eyes, nostrils, hands, feet, etc...if we had three of everything would we say, "there's three sides to every story"?
Too funny ...20 years ago trying to choose between going on tour and a corporate job, i actually chose the "Worst Employee Ever" option and it worked! Not only did i get fired but the fine people at Unemployment awarded me full benefits. I couldnt pull a stunt like that anymore without fearing a major karmic backlash but at the time it felt brilliant. In fact it permently changed the course of my life.
black or white - unite
allow the right decision to come
Derek,
I think you will enjoy this article about "real options".
http://www.infoq.com/articles/real-options-enhance-agility
Morgan
Great article. Thanks! -- Derek
A teacher in Jr High always told us to be the best at whatever you find yourself doing.
Reff:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Colossians%203:23-25&version=NLT
always more than 2 ways to think about something.
currently i am doing a meditation where i imagine the face & mind of einstein in the center of my brain,
so far i hear an unique sounding voice saying at least three things.
1. you are the money
2. do your homework
3. let me out of here, you have some really kinky stuff in here,
4. almost forgot, "let me out, i have to go to the bathroom."
bright musical ways
ian
Thanks, Derek (and Doug).
If you really have a dream follow it and Look at the many possibilities you have.
Don't get yourself blindsided in your own fear.
Because that will only create a block.
if theirs a will there is a way to accomplish what you want
Dear Derek:
Re: One of your very least options: I only wish that insanity was a choice. It is no choice at all. It is more often a brain disorder.
Joe P.
At very least, add “do nothing” and “go insane” as choices.)
Thanks for the reminder that we live in a world of unlimited possibilities, and needn't artificially constrain ourselves to dull, boring or stark choices. And having a bit of fun with the process definintely makes the journey more enjoyable
Thanks for what you do!
False option-limiting is a special case of false-rule-following. People gradually, without ever realizing it, make up little rules to constrain themselves with, like "Never call in sick" or "I don't like ___ music".
great article. I often do this for friends bit forget to do so for myself. This should become a part of grade school curriculum-,thinking skills 101.
thanks derek.
Hah! Timely and practical advice. I put 'do nothing' and 'go insane' on my list just so I could have more options. And there are so many places you could do nothing or go insane!
this is great advice.
I have a friend who started The School of Thinking ( SOT)
He has a formular called CVS2BVSx10
Which is Current View of the Situation to Better View of the Situation x 10.
it is brilliant.
Here is the link for the seekers out their http://www.schoolofthinking.org/how-sot-training/59-second-course-in-thinking/
I'd like to have less than two options, Derek. I would prefer that I was backed into a corner and forced at gunpoint to become a tour guide on the South island of New Zealand. I would go kicking and screaming into paradise ;-)
Do it or I will kill you, Mark. Start by contacting these 34 places: http://www.tourism.net.nz/region/--south-island/tours/ -- Derek
This post reminds me of strategies from Crucial Conversations. The book discusses handling options and situations like these, only with people.
Thanks Derek. Love the advice! But some of those haircuts....
The spirit of the post is great but the third option is a really bad idea.
Anything you create using employer resources becomes legal employer property so you certainly don't want to launch a new company using your employer's machines/office space.
Love the post otherwise, especially the NZ option!
Loved the article, agree with all of its sentiments. When confronted with problems we tend to see only the obvious solutions because we are afraid to step out of our comfort zone. When we separate ourselves from the actual decision at hand, more options become apparent (and, btw, I imagine you wanted to say get "excited" about a decision that was a dilemma, not "exited).
Great advice Derek. Options are unlimited. I spent some time going the other way, too many items on the plate, found a great woman, married her, she's an entertaiment agent, and after she said "I Do" she said "Focus" My current project. Success to you in 2010, Steve
good i was born into a 7th day adventist church ...i had since the day one i realise i was alive
i had many options...
in any aspect of life with many cultures too ..but you are one of the best you open doors of ideas
to the wrold ...for get us not ..
luko adjaffi
A few thoughts
1. Take vacation
2. while on vacation, read "the 4 hour workweek" by Tim Ferriss
3. On return, set an "exit" date. Give yourself 6 months to put plan together
-bump up Lines of Credit
-set up two consulting gigs
-plan out your business and get started
That's more or less what I did, except I read the book after I quit. Lining up consulting work, lines of credit & saving up gives you runway but no much that failure is an option.
In this case, Neil Peart's Lyrics "If chose not to decide, you still have made a choice" do not apply.
Really great article Derek. I will definitely keep this in mind and share it with some friends so they can call me out when I am stuck. I love being creative with options so luckily I get stuck less and less all the time.
I also want to thank you for constantly putting out such amazing articles. They are always right what I need to hear.
What a timely message! Yeah, there're more than two options....great read Derek, thanks
I thought the '...do this until fired.' was the MO of most employees.
Funny stuff!
I needed this so much today! thanks thanks thanks!
When I feel stressed and overwhelmed by making a non-urgent decision, I always let myself not make ANY decision for the time being and everything then comes into balance and clarity.
How often we find ourselves trying to fit all that is this world into the small cramped box that we see as ours to define. The one post that life is full of options unless your a computer(binary) really strikes this limitation home. Yes, binary language is exactly that, a diadic contruct, but look at all the variations possible within that framework. Everything we see in our information age and everything your bound to encounter as you sit and watch your pc screen are vast permutations of the one and the zero. Want freedom? Break your routine.
Hi Derek!!
No two snowflakes are the same....
Rachel
Most of my friends call me asking some of the strangest questions, looking for 1 answer.In most cases they are afraid of Failing.However the fear is greater when you have less choices. More choices = Less Fear. So to expand on the idea you are giving. Look at the choices you have,(even if it is only 2) then look at the choices you will have by making the choice. After doing this, you will see that 1 choice brings endless choices. "The Snowball effect".
Example - I just completed the first stage of my 3rd company.
I had a choice between 3 businesses to start. (Which one will I do?)
So I made the choice to do them all... one at a time.
1. HighSpeedSupport.com
2. DaPOW.com
3. CCwheelers.com
Each of these target different types of income. Each promotes the others. If one succeeds the chances of the others doing well are very good.
So this is my example of making the choice to choose them all.
Hope this helps - Michael
I like you and your ideas; They make me smile.
Thanks!
Dawn
Great, great article. I've always loathed the idea that everything starts off with black & white. How limiting! Personally, the crazier the ideas, the better as it really is about trying to figure out what the actual motivations are. For my part I've been living in Costa Rica for the past year after building a business for 2 years at a Very Boring Job ;-)
IT gives you fleability in your thinking the power to reach out of your zone!!
Doing something you do not like can be quite inspirational and motivate you to strive to do what you like. Sort of like a magnet being both repelled and attracted at the same time. If we slip into that mindless comfort routine, then we can miss out on our calling.
Do what you hate but don't let it wear you down. Use that antagonized feeling as fuel to succeed in your true desire. Many great creations are fueled by sorrow or negative experiences.
You present topics in a thoughtful open-ended fashion that encourages creative free flowing participation... Nice post(s)
Black and White decisions may help focus more on those two. Sometimes, it's an easy choice. Working a government job that's basically a public illusion or ATTEMPTING to prosper from music was an easy choice. After the decision, the options started opening. I get really creative about how I use my studio. Scoring a YOGa book, for example. Meditations, Cues for music librarires. I'm so busy, I don't have much time to write songs.
Live your truth and trust it.
Tom
i am blessed with many options, and have found myself stuck there as well at times.
i especially like the silly options, as they are tension breakers....
i have found that once the "surface tension" breaks, a huge amount of inner knowing, insight and "random connections" pour into my life.
peace matters,
mz imani
Derek, great thinking as always. Folks who believe they have only two options aren't typically the ones who can make sense of 15 options, or persue them without great risk.
The art form is in helping the non ADHD crowd make a path towards more options without failing and becoming more discouraged.
Right? so is that the backbone for Muckwork?
This is a great thought and perhaps expands the universe for many. But once you identify the options, it seems to me that understanding our own power of choice is the real key. Like the Cheshire Cat who suggests "If you don't know where you want to go, any road will do". So many of us are seduced by what appears to be the easiest choice without asking the question "where do I want to end up?"
Very well-put, Jackie! Great quote, too. Thanks! -- Derek
I used to help people stuck on their albeit dichotomous decisions by them drawing a square with four quadrants. Across the top two: "what if I do" and "What if I don't"
Down the two sides on the left: "Good aspects", and "bad aspects". They could pick several solutions and try them all out on the decision square. Really helps!!
This is exactly the purpose of the Theory of Constraints "Evaporating Cloud." Also, check the books on the Logical Thinking Process by Bill (William) Dettmer. I have used the cloud for more than 15 years. It's awesome.
I loved this article and your ideas for all the different ways to get what you want.
I like how you put a picture of all the hairdos... lots 'O options
I encourage people to use the word "and" instead of "or" when making decisions...
Derek
Why don't you get a proper job sounds like you are missing CD Baby- Derek
Even in football you can run, pass or punt.
Outside the box could mean playing a whole different game!
When I see The Roots on Jimmy Fallon's show, the tuba player always reminds me there are no walls, just bigger stepping stones.
the article is wonderful and Dean's comment sums it up beautifully.
thanks as always
How does this fit with Barry Schwartz's theory that more choice makes you unhappier?
See: http://youtube.com/watch?v=VO6XEQIsCoM
I have a lot to say about the Paradox of Choice, but that doesn't apply to this situation here, where it's important to have more options to make a better decision. -- Derek
This is great advice and clear action items coming out of it. Sometimes it is helpful to introduce new scenarios you have mentioned, but also write out the pros and cons to the two or three choices you have.
Synthesizing down your choices into lists can create a stark difference between two options you previous thought were equal.
That's great. Can I put this on my blog?
Always. Anything on my blog is free to re-post anywhere. Just credit & link back to sivers.org please. -- Derek
Thanks Derek! I'm in the middle of a dilemma and this really helps. So many times we read stuff like this and instead of saying "Aha!" we actually say "oh yeah!"
Derek - I have done everything that you have listed with the exception of being a bad employee. It really works!!! I will open my new business Mar 1 and leave my current job soon. This new business gives me the income and the time that I need to start building my music ministry. I dont like options - just goals!
Thanks for all of your advice - your a genius.
This needs to be applied to:
Should I give my music downloads away?
or
Should I sell my music ?
I hear this all the time and man...
There are so many in between options that work.
Derek,
Your comments are ALWAYS so well timed. It is as if you are my own private psychic! I guess you're thinking what we are all thinking....Hell, I came back from New Zealnd several months ago and have been thinkink about returning...but not to be a hiking instructor. Thank you.
Your blog reminded me of a book I own and love "Whatever you Think, Think the Opposite" by Paul Arden. Whatever the issue, there are millions of ways to see it, read it and act upon it.Thanks Derek.
JVB
Your examples are eerily familiar. I completely agree with your point. In life, sometimes we lack the confidence to ask the questions we need to ask. More often, we haven't thought of the right (or enough) questions because we're locked into a frame of reference.
I read somewhere that having only two options is quite common and is a keen indicator of lower self-awareness. I remember it as being described as reducing the entire continuum of possible solutions down to a single binary solution.
Its all about clear postitive energy and a combination of music from the ancient Chinese musical instrument - The Erhu. If times get too tough, then the only way to fix this is a different train of thought. Remember, in through the nose and out thru the mouth. Count to 10 before negativity sets in and think of these three little letters CPE = Clear Positive Energy. There now, doesn't that feel better? I told you so.
Cheers,
JC
This gets to the heart of what I teach - i.e. that the only way one can actually make an informed decision is to know what ALL choices are, and the results that are likely to flow from each. In songwriting, I break down all the elements into a matrix of choices. The same is true for business. Folks often come to me trapped in the grip of Cyril Connolly's quote, "Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self" -- I teach the third option, i.e. how to have both.
That there is always another option is best shown by the classic Kobayshi Maru scenario, in "Star Trek" lore. Another great reference for this topic (bits vs. fits) is the book "Fuzzy Thinking" by Kosko.
Bill Pere
Founder and Executive Director, LUNCH
President and Executive Director, CT Songwriters Association
IMC Indie Artist of the Year
An Official Connecticut State Troubadour since '95
Director, CT Songwriting Academy
Author, "Songcrafters' Coloring Book: The Essential Guide to Effective and Successful Songwriting"
you're not a bad counsellor
You hit it right on the head again. Everyday brings us so many options that are sadly overlooked because of time, money, etc. We need to slow down and "smell the roses" before that fateful day of waking up and realizing our whole live passed us by comes.
Forgot to mention in my previous response another good perspective on this: "The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less" by Barry Schwartz. Another perspective on why it's not enough just to have choices, and the need to understand the likely result that will flow from each path.
Bill Pere
Founder and Executive Director, LUNCH
President and Executive Director, CT Songwriters Association
IMC Indie Artist of the Year
An Official Connecticut State Troubadour since '95
Director, CT Songwriting Academy
Author, "Songcrafters' Coloring Book: The Essential Guide to Effective and Successful Songwriting"
should I write a reply or not?...
Scientist can't understand how Einstein came up with his relativity theories because no one came up with stepping stone theories prior to his big step. He explained that he had to use the new student approach to solve the gravity problem. How ever as he got a little older he couldn't think that way again nor could he accept other peoples new and different approaches.It appears that our brains build blockages because of the things that are already in our heads.
So, we all need to be shocked by something from time to time so that we can accept new things.
So, thanks for these articles Derek.
Thank you Derek!
I've been having an extreme case of this exact dilemma lately and here's how I'm doing it after realizing I've got a grey scale, not just black and white:
- I took one week vacation and focused 100% on my own new company
- After this week I realized the painful comfort zone of my dayjob.
- I signed up for a two semester school-course in Project Management and Leadership Skills (which I've now started and LOVE IT!)
- Made a deal with my boss to reduce my job to 80%
- I rented out my appartment a few months ago do rid myself of financial limitations
Now I'm preparing my 100% independent career in school for only two semesters ...I've got one weekday to focus on my company and let it grow in income and size and I've still got steady income while preparing my foundation. Needless to say, I spend all my free time on my company.
I'm a a typical Capricorn in that sense that I've got a hard time making big jumps without having a safety net. I belive I've now got my safety net and look forward to these up and coming changes in my life
Thank you for writing out your thoughts, you're always an inspiration.
one!
Many people try to argue using an argument that one thing means the lack of another. This OR that. Most often though you can say that both ideas are good and useful as well as a bit of something more.
'Both and', not just or. It isn't replacing either option, it is transcending and including them.
good to be reminded! I guess its attachment that keeps us from looking)
Very cool outlook. I used to think I wanted to be in the music industry, until I tried it for a few years and found that the hours, pay, and benefits all sucked. But all the time I was working in music, I was also keeping my tech job options open. So when I made the decision that weekends and holidays at home were more desirable than the admiration strangers in the wee hours of the morning, I was still employable!
Nice. I really like this reminder. I was thinking things like this about my current situation and my music and my marriage and my wife's issues etc. Anywaz good post.
Options are unlimited! Over the last few years, I’ve learned that with songwriting.
Just because you wrote a song on top of a certain arrangement, doesn’t mean you have to stick with it.
If a part doesn’t work for you anymore… change it!
Don’t let, “That’s the way I’ve always done it!” control you!
"It wasn't the new business that was inspiring me so much, but just needing to fix my current situation.”
I think that is true of a lot of people. They want so much to escape that they will jump to something else they have little interest in.
Very insightful post!
Thanks for the reminder to appreciate the results of the choices I've already made. It's easy to take that for granted.
Derek,
-- Derek
How about changing things so that we don't have to scroll down for ages to post a comment!
Rig it so those who want to read the others have to do the work rather than those who just want to comment and get on with life.
Use your End key or Ctrl-PgDn key. That jumps to the bottom of any web page.
as usual, I agree with you. thx
i love this post!
Derek:
This came at a great time as I contemplate what my options are down the road. I am nearing the end of a long career in music education. In the meantime, I have started a company on the side that helps promote a few indie artists in hopes that it will make money down the road. I am also taking courses at Berklee in Music Biz. I'm trying to decide what path the company should take once I do retire from teaching and can dedicate more time to my new career. I thought I had two options. After reading this, I'm going to make a list of all the other options. (Although advice from you wouldn't hurt! Your fee?)
Glory
wonderful blog...
i think its kinda crazy sometimes to just quit your job and start something you havnt even begun to seriously look at... like the reality that while you are busy 'setting it all up' you might very well not be making any money at all and for quite some time if you dont really know what you are doing
I think anyone who actually asks that question should spend some time studying business before even contemplating that option
I think it is also true of anything... how many times have i been asked my option about whether someone should do something or not... this is an excellent point... there are so many more questions to ask than just two
Choices:
choices become irrelevant when I connect with myself.
Wonderful! I completely agree
You have to consider all options before you throw the towel!
lol! I'm gonna send this blog to everyone I've been trying to give advice between 2 options re problems..lol love it!
your present article reminds me of something I like. "An unfulfilled vocation drains the color from a man's entire existence."
from Balzac, 1838
I love this Derek,
When I was laid off in November I intentionally kept my mind open, My emotions in check and I went to the library every week, No fear. I've become a very new person, I've just started a new job but continue to focus on my dream as if I'm still unemployed,
I'm refreshed !
hi derek - so true - i also see this as a great way to discuss/negotiate with clients on a deal - we can help the clients with many options - the option does need only need to be is this deal "ON" or "NOT" ..Thanks
I have the reverse of this problem! In almost every decision I manage to find many choices. Combining this with my love for strategic thinking, I end up playing a chess game in my mind trying to foresee the outcomes of all possible moves. Your previous post about letting the pedestrians determine the path has helped me in a strange way. I take baby steps in several directions and that helps me gain more information about realities of each path as opposed to my predictions. Then the decision becomes simpler.
My wife and I work together on producing my music, and sometimes writing songs together, and that can lead to times where we butt heads pretty hard about something... Usually, we find that instead of compromising, there's another thing outside of what we were both arguing for that satisfies what we each wanted, and is better than each of us were thinking of. So knowing that now, we can sometimes reduce the arguing time by looking for that "3rd answer" right away once the heads start butting. And that same kind of thing can stretch into all relationship conflicts, really.
You have amazing unobtrusive ways of explaining thought processes so that productivity can continue to happen !
Excellent.
Brainstorm Wildly
Best "option" is:
"Decide this new business is a hobby, not a business. But you hate your existing job anyway, so find a new job that would allow you the flexibility to spend a good part of each day or week on this new hobby that makes you happy."
It's a very liberating act to work on that which you enjoy. Other's may see it as "work" but you see it for what it is.
Making money will come. Later.
Too right Derek - lateral thinking is always good
Thanks for sharing 
And Derek, it's not ALWAYS two - sometimes there's 1.9 options! :P
Good stuff... and as John Sambrook points out, there is a great tool and exceptional mentors to help those that are serious about changing their approach to life's challenges.
haha .I actually did exactly this last year - the more corporate the better - as your own company gets better funding & resources ;-)
"Be the worst employee ever, and show up to your boring job every day but refuse to do any work. Pretend to be super-busy all the time, but really just be working on your own company, on their dime. Use every sick-day and vacation day until scolded. Do this until fired."
Thank Derek. Your article just in time for me.
I love love love love this. I will now always brainstorm for as many ideas as possible no matter how wild or silly. Helps to keep things in persective I bet.
1. Quit the day job
or...
2. Do your own thing (self employed)
are two extremes I luckily did not fall into. When I went into my full time job in 2007 I had a side income through self employment. It just happened to be enough for survival but not enough for societal norm at that time
With time income from no. 2 started rising and income from no. 1 stayed the same (and I was working harder at my full time job as time went on, being squeezed more and more).
But crucially my self confidence and people skills were rising exponentially as I got better with my self employment.
A point came when I could ditch the full time job. I did so in the middle of a recession, many of my colleagues were in shock that I could do such a thing...but to me it was plain simple.
Choose the grey option for a bit and then with time the black or white option will become clearer...
Choice is easiest when there really is only one option, when choice becomes whittled down to two options it can be difficult to choose but usually there is an obvious stronger choice. Life as you remind us always has many options and that is where we tend to freeze and do nothing but walk through the mud bogged down with our current dilemma at hand not sure what to do waiting for some lightning bolt to force our decision. And that is when we reach out to friends and ask what should I do, what should I do. I am going through this right now and ultimately I find myself waiting for the world around me to change because most of the things I need in order to make a rational decision are really out of my hands.
So, I wait. In the meantime, I try to sharpen my tools, enlighten my spirit, and review all the options as you suggest. When the right situation unfolds I will leap with no care of a net.
i love this article!!! it's one of the best ones yet!! i had a decision to make this morning, and yes, i am one of those people who feels she only has two choices and i make myself crazy, because either one of them really work and you reminded me again that there really ARE more that one plan of attack.. i usually get to that point after writing the pros and cons, but this article really made me realize that it is OK to have more than one plan of attack and that i don't necessarily have to do what is expected of me if it isn't what I expect of me to do to further my career,etc..today my decision was how to fund another area of my music business without going deeply into debt..i thought i have to pay this today, that tomorrow, but i need this new guitar today, i can't put it off another week, and i realize just call some people, explain that my payments are gonna be cut in half and instead of one week to pay them, i'm takin' two!!!
guess what?? all is well, no problem!!
thanks,derek...
you make things seem so simple sometimes..and i appreciate that!!! this was like another 'aha' moment at the right time!!
and yes, today is the day i finally pay off my car!! woo-hoo!! i now have more money to funnel into my career, look out world
thanks, derek!!
(NEITHER one of them really work!!spellcheck!!)
One must attempt the absurd in order to achieve the impossible - Einstein said that.
Brainstorming silly possibilities will bring forth the perfect choice - Sivers said that.
I agree with both - Andri said that ;-) LOL
LOL!!
I LOVE that you used the pictures of the 'virtual' hairstyles!
So, since you've been 'hairless' for years, how did you come across this picture?
My husband and I owned a Super Market for over 30 years and if we happened to hire a goof off .. They
never lasted even a week.
I guess it according to the kind of
business you have. . .and if you want to goof off never apply for a
job in a Super Market.
Lovin yer blog lad... M Decisions decisions decisions...
Good stuff, as always, Derek. I have a brother who is stuck in such a dilema - job or new business. I will forward to him..
I like haircut #38.
Who ever decided to call the "Gray Area" Gray? This poor color has taken a bad rap over the years! In the Gray area is truly the most colorful (most options) place one can be. Ironically (in mixing paints) the color gray is created by mixing equal amounts of opposite (complementary)colors or equal amounts of primary colors. Hip Hip Hurray for the color Gray!
Thanks for the reminder.
I love your answer to "Mark", promising you'll kill him if he doesn't leave for New Zealand. Brilliant.
-- Derek
Some of my most cherished words of mom's wisdom:
"When in doubt, do nothing."
When in doubt, remain in doubt.
i'm lost between DAY & NITE and BLACK & WHITE
Do a little to each situation in a positive way is how I operate,then you get promted into a course by the more positive responses.
I really enjoyed reading this article, especially since I am sitting at my desk at my day job presently. Your reasoning and articles have helped me to come to the realization that: 1) Being happy and achieving your dreams is very hard work 2)Being happy and surviving while you're achieving your dreams is even harder work.
The line that stuck out to me the most in the article was this: "It wasn't the new business that was inspiring me so much, but just needing to fix my current situation.”
It has taken me a long time to realize that if you even have a dream or a goal then you are one step ahead, but surviving and providing for yourself and your family while you are achieving that dream/goal needs to make you just as happy as you will be when you finally realize your life goals; otherwise it is all for waste.
Thank you for your advice, it is much appreciated and very helpful to me in my career as an artist and as a person.
-Tristan Eckerson
The more options the better because when you finally make a decision you don't have that nagging thought of whether you covered all possibilities.
To choose or not to choose that is the question. How many choices did you contemplate when you chose your wife?
I met a young woman with hairdo #24 today. It had been butt length and she sent it to Florida to Locks for Love(suggested it to my son who has long blond hair).
Be the worst employee ever.... It's an article to laugh and cry over. It's unfortunate that people who think they have no choice are so stressed by that perception of their circumstances that they are less likely to think creatively.
Just got back from Florida, I have to get a CD pressed and sell a steinway, I have to make a choice between being lonely and cold or being lonely and warm. thats a tough one .
really dig ur blog entries, derek! great stuff! i love this one!
Until I know how to tie every kind of knot known to humanity, I know I haven't exhausted all the options. Then again, two times out of three, a simple slipknot works just fine.;)
My sister once told me to never make a major decision until you had thought of at least five viable options. Brilliant. The three (or more) that require creativity are almost always the best choices.
Great post, as usual. Thanks for taking the time to share it!
Datri
My biggest problem is that I have TOO many options.
I constantly get ideas and I want to make them all happen, but we only get so much time in this life.
This article expanded my list considerably :/
Awesome advice Derek. Thank you!
I really appreciate this post. It really speaks to my own self imposed dilemas. I have recently come up with a similar list of options for myself and felt incredibly relieved.
Favorite hair styles:
8, 13 & 41
Tom Siegel
indieleap.com
The binary bias of western language shapes our thoughts. The "pillow talk" technique of dealing with dualities is of merit. Fuzzy logic, flexibility, diversity and evolutionary considerations are also helpful.
Another take on the "doubt" issue that I particularly like:
"When in doubt, opt for the correct choice!"
In German it sounds better: "Im Zweifelsfalle entscheide man sich für das Richtige!"
Excellent point Derek, sometimes there are more options than just the obvious ones!
Very Best Regards,
George
thanks - good one
Derek, thanks for the great article. Sometimes, brainstorming doesnt' appear to be a big deal. More challenging is to make a choice. Or, more accurately, to understand what you really want. It requires courage and love to look inside and accept the answer.
I wish your friend to choose a road he is passionate about. The same for myself
Thanks again,
ca
You know, you really are deuced sharp: you have a real gift for cutting new facets onto old diamonds -keeps me thinking, thank you
!
i particularly like this one. will try and remember :>
Hi Derek,
All I can say, is that you are Very Wise!!!
Silvia Silk
Hey Derek! Great article. John and I are feeling very backed into a corner right now with our full-time jobs vs. working our way into full-time music. We sat down after reading this and are in the midst of figuring out ways to achieve our goals no matter how far out the ideas are. Hopefully, some combination of the group of ideas will help us launch into our dream. Thank you for writing these blog posts. As you can see from the number of responses you get, they mean a lot to many people. But, I wanted to let you know that they mean a lot to me. As an artist, it's nice to feel understood every once in a while instead of always feeling like you are somewhat of a social outcast. You remind me that those who take risks will probably always feel a little like outcasts. Great risk can equal great reward. Or, you learn what risk not to take next time. : )
It's so funny that you say slack off at work until you get fired and work on your own stuff because that is EXACTLY what I'm doing right now. I just let out a loud giggle.
There are those trapped into small minded thinking. It is the same people who say things like "It has always been that way..", "They made me...", "I have to...", "It will never change...". Tragic!
I'm attending graduate school in Maryland for a Master's program in Transformative Leadership and Social Change. We go through several exercises to get us out of small mind and into large mind. It is amazing how much the form you put your body into impacts your thinking. Open your arms to all of life's experiences and see what happens!
this is good advice and something I can sink my teeth in and really chew on for awhile.
Great article, Derek!
I think this 2-track mind is generally a sign of either black/white thinking, being in too much of a rush to make a decision (self-induced or being pushed by someone else), or being in denial about some aspect of life, which tends to make us over-simplify the situation. I love your perspective and I think I'm going to be spending a bit of time reading your blog!
Take care, and thanks again!
you know me, i'm Mr.Critical... the real issue often comes to cultural space - in that who or what we surround ourselves with define the options we see. my goal has always been to find new head space, either physically leaving a situation to look into the circle of thought or testing a hypothetically potent substance ;) that was more the college days, now i focus on friends who think completely different, or engage in conversations with professionals that would seemingly never give me the time of day. stepping out of the norm is always the best way to find new options and get new results
I'm passing this on
thanks so much for the reminder. you're always so positive. you put a smile on my face.
Since re-discovering who I am and why I'm here, the day job is not my life nor my career. It's what pays the bills until I get signed. EVERY volt of my energy is moving me in the direction of "signed, touring, recording artist". There is no other "job" that would ever be a career to me but that. Music is everything to me.
Derek,
Always have smart insite. Definitely passing this one on.
ha! love this... there's always a way to work it out. its not a big deal to work a job job, while you get your music biz on its feet. in fact, its great b/c it eases financial stress and if you find a job where you can work on building your own biz on the sly you're set...
I got discouraged by a hostile manager and unnecessarily quit a good job years ago (senior management loved me). Now I wish I had stayed in the fight a bit longer. The money would be handy now. Most jobs are going to have drawbacks - that's why they call it work, right? Vacation is a great idea (I quit with a whole bunch avaliable).
Incidenatlly, "carreers in music" are changing, as the intellectual property rights fade in the face of digital duplication and www distribution. It really has to be "about the music". If you fans want to support you, particularly at the product table, they can, but things are changing back to the way they used to be - music for fun with your friends. I'm good with that.
Thanks Derek, I think this comes down to fear. It's usually the micro-fears that go unoticed and cause us to create these ultimatums. Your friend was wise to take a vacation and 'flip' himself in order to force a new perspective. For me, hitting the gym and sweating like a hog helps, but a change of scenery is sometimes even better.
You're right. Count me in on always looking for the quick way out, but it's not always the best way. It's better to think about different options first.
NO, NO, NO!
I am an artist. Sure in many ways I have to act and think like an entrepreneur but I am not willing to transform into a guest, socially and politically.
Your vision is those of a retired person in a young body. Every month you'll get your check from your company and then you have to think: what shall I do. renting a house in Rome to do some paintings, write a song in Rio or shall I climb up the Mt. Everest. These questions are questions retired people have, but not people of our age.
YES I WANNA CHANGE THE WORLD. ENOUGH IT IS ONLY ME AT THE END!
greetz Wolfgang
Yes, options can drive you crazy!
I completely agree that the reason most people make bad decisions is because they limit their decision pool. I would argue that the same way people try to optimize by looking at the "pros" and "cons" there is a previous step that should be explored before all your "options" are laid out...
That step is figuring out exactly what you are trying to achieve and what you dont like about your current situation. If its about your job maybe the real stress is "bad boss" or "more free time" or "lack of creative outlet." Each one of those would color your options. For example, if you are looking for something more laid back, then jumping into a new startup might not be the solution.
Often times people just dont know what they want to achieve before creating options. That will lead to you maybe comparing two options when one of them isnt even a valid option for your goals.
Loved this article. Reminded me of how, when I was depressed, I was hard put to *see* any choices, let alone two! lol. However, am on a lighter section of that road now and trying to help friends off it, so perhaps this would help them too.
It will, when its time has come.
I wanted to write a song about the tragedy behind not being able to see choices, but it hasn't come out of my head yet.
I've posted a link to this article to another site: http://www.flyingsolo.com.au/ because it's for solo entrepeneurs, and I think this is a great article they'd all enjoy too.
Keep up the great work, I love it!
Regards,
Peblz
Hi Derek- thanks for continuing to shine a light..
Thinking oneself into a corner with limited options (2?) is a great way to cure procrastination- but it doesn't necessarily lead to clear decision-making. Happens more frequently with individual- 'sole proprietor' scenarios, in business- rather than group-oriented perspectives. It's like convincing oneself for the sake of something needing to be done. Broader perspectives can really help! Create metrics and be ready (and willing!) to commit to whatever it takes to launch your creation. And then track and be honest about what has transpired. Having written (e.g. quarterly) objectives helps simplify and keeps your vision true- whether alone or in a group- jw.
Great discussion as always. I am in the same mode -- quit job, start company, or stay with safe job. I have 1.5 years till EARLY retirement with the job. Current focus is using this 1.5 years to build ways to generate creative income so I can move on. Option -- if the point comes where it is time to go & I am not ready, I can stay with the job, get a part-time job to supplement, or multiple other directions. Right now I am using my free time outside of the job to market, build, focus, set goals, & develop a proper business structure. Need to enjoy life too, so when I feel I am pushing too hard, I just pick 1-3 things I want to get done today & focus on those. I love the options!
Hi again Derek, Remember the famous Troubadour in London last summer?
When I started a nightclub business some years ago, I hired the venues and ran nights out for club members. Initially, I kept my day job for a couple of years to subsidise my income. When things picked up I jumped in with both feet and never even thought I could fail. It worked and I never had to 'work for the man' again!
I was earning lots of money for years.
Here come the monkeys!!
Unfortunately, after major heart troubles, I lost both of my businesses. With a wrongly fitted pacemaker (they did not tell me about) causing strokes for almost three years, I had to have open heart surgery. They messed up the op and left me shunting for over twelve years with 85% oxygen and no energy. Last year, after not wishing to do another open heart, they had to. They almost lost me on the table but I survived so I am a lucky man !
Meanwhile, to aid my brain recovery, I had learned to write stories and poetry. It was great to pick up the guitar once more and return to my first love MUSIC. I had written songs in the sixties and seventies when I was on the road for all of those years. I try to write funny songs and some serious political ones too.
Now the clubs have gone, I busk on street corners for the fun of it and to help pay for my recording costs. It gets people dancing in the streets often around midnight. I take it seriously but as I am not internet savey, I cannot promote myself. Having read your article, sadly I realise there is no alternative than view my music as a hobby. I have a saying, told to me by Jim Dale of the 'carry on' films when my band appeared with him in the sixties. This is to 'keep smiling' whenever you are on the stage. Maybe life is a stage and this will get you past a whole lot of 'fertilizer' that's life throws at you!
Yes, it worked for me so everybody should give it a try. Dennis Derby
great stuff - this is what helped us get ratebrain started - working on the side until we could build momentum!
i have read many blog in which we can easy find a good moral lesson and positive motivation but the thing which i like the most about ur blogs is, u always put a light on the hidden angle of picture. In simple words u activate the third eye to gain more and more efficient result. do u mind elaborating this point how do u...analyze things in such manner?
Yes, it makes sense and even though I have used 'brainstorming' at times; at others I, have let myself get trapped in that mindset of 'either or' mentality, doing exactly as you said, focusing on only two options, so thanks for reminding me. It reminds me of Moshe Feldenkrais, who said (to paraphrase) "there is no 'right' way (to move). The possibilities are endless." He taught us to 'observe' what happened when we moved one way or another. We so often are in a rush to 'do' something that we forget the exploratory exercises we did as children. He often taught those around him to go back to that mode during the ATM's (Awareness Through Movement Lessons. In many ways you are saying the same thing by reminding us to 'explore our options' in a childlike manner.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts...
Sandy
Well stated!
Not only are then more than two, this is my n+1 rule. I am not that smart. There is always one more than what I see. Thinking this way causes you to search for the "+1"
It's an iterative loop so good luck ;-)
I will borrow from one of Phil McKinney (http://philmckinney.com/) brain storming warm-ups to show that even mundane questions have more answers than you think.
In 15 seconds list at least six answers to "what is half of 13?"
Time pressure is key as well as making the n at least four since there are three "right" math answers: 6.5, 6, and 7. So what are some of the others?
1 & 3 (visual half)
XI II (same trick, Roman numerals)
VIII (same trick, split Roman numerals on the horizontal)
See how even one other conceptual model (visual half vice math half) leads to four (n+1, right? ;-) other options with only one new idea?
The point is that math, with its "only one right answer" mentality, really has three and if you let your mind expand to other domains, the answers blossom.
For practical problems, any trade starts with n=3: status quo (do nothing), quit/stop thing under consideration, and the change you are recommending. If you are only including status quo and stop with your idea, then you have not really explored a second, creative option in your trade space.
Enjoy!