climbing ladders
2009-09-06
Do you know the story of how John Lennon met Yoko Ono?
He went to a friend's art gallery and saw an empty room with a tall ladder going up to the ceiling.
He climbed to the top of the ladder, and there was just a magnifying glass which, if held up to the ceiling, revealed a little tiny word “yes”.
He loved it, and asked about the artist. It was Yoko, and that's how they met.
In the early 1990s I met this girl, and hit it off right away.
When I mentioned that I would love to find someone like Yoko, and really admired her work, her eyes went big and she said, “Wow! Really? I love Yoko! I've never met anyone else who does!”
It was definitely an endearing bonding moment between us.
We dated for a while, but lost touch. (My fault.)
This year on Facebook, she added me as a friend.
I emailed, saying, “Wow! Long time! How are you?” We catch up. She's happily married and doing well.
She asks how I'm doing. How's life? I filled her in, then added at the end, “P.S. Still looking for my Yoko.”
Her reply was priceless:
“If history serves, you don't look for a Yoko. A Yoko simply appears when you least expect her. Just keep climbing ladders.”
Beautiful.
Or as I like to say: it doesn't work to go looking for chicks. You just gotta be yourself and do what you love and let the chicks fall where they may. ;)
That's always been one of my favorite "meeting" stories. From action comes opportunity and...magic.
(Though I guess some Beatle fans would disagree with me!)
great story! especially the ladder part
she's right, you can't look for your Yoko, only you can pay attention to your surroundings, she may be much closer than you realize already!
Love it! The idea of trusting oneself and taking chances is always cannot be repeated enough, and it's nice to remember that the chances shouldn't all be career and business oriented.
Just keep your true intentions clear in your heart and make the first steps and the Universe tends to do the rest.
oh my god ...their are a good couple..still do admire tham..
mine is far and away for aminute,,
"Every moment is the opportunity of a lifetime!"
http://www.richbaumann.com
i appreciate how you've chosen to spend your time
Very nice example of letting the universe lead the way. What will be will be.
In 1963 my buddy and I went looking for chicks at a high school football game (we hated football). He stopped to talk to a girl he knew. The other girl smiled at me. That was 43 years ago next month and we're still together.
Don't fool yourself. We're all looking. That's what Derek was doing up on that ladder. He just didn't know what he was looking for yet.
I hadn't heard that story of how they met...
Blessings...
While we were in Liverpool last fall, we went to the bombed out church....there in the courtyard were dozens of ladders....Yoko would be arriving the following week...now I know the rest of the ladder story. Thanks for sharing.
YES
Keep climbing that ladder, it's the stairway to heaven, what's ever for you will be found right there,just on keep climbing...
Wow thank you for a great post. I hope everyone can find their Yoko. If we only are open for opportunities anything can happen.
There was a terrific Yoko Ono art exhibition in Edinburgh (Scotland, UK) a couple of years ago.
She has an incredibly creative mind and I was stimulated and moved by many of the exhibits at that show; in particular a room set where every stick of furniture, right down to an 2 or 3-bar electric fire, was not only painted white but each item was cut in half - so there was half a table, half a chair, half an electric fire... all creamy, faded white. Amazing.
I remember also:
There was a pile of blank luggage tags and visitors to the exhibition could leave their own message for her or anybody else and tie the label to a large ficus tree.
And a black telephone that was placed on a table. Occasionally, it would ring, with Yoko calling, when she would speak to random, unsuspecting visitors who answered!
In the 1970's, she may have been (unjustly) one of the most unpopular people on the planet, but she remains an exceptional, creative and commercial talent.
As you climb these ladders enjoy the passing!
I love that story.I am happy to say I found my Yoko at the beginning of this year and I am truly blessed.It does happen when one least expects it.The story behind the song Instant Karma is really cool too. John said in an interview we have 30 seconds to make an impression to a stranger we can smile or we can ignore them all together.He wrote the song opting for people to make the effort of a simple human exchange between one another that was good and positive.I'd like to think of it as another one of those Yes moments.I really love the Beatles, the music and especially the message they wanted the world to hear.Derek I believe you will find your Yoko.
That's a nice story. But I'm not sure it has a happy ending.
Thanks for the inspiration!!!
What a wonderful story and I agree that when you least expect it is when you meet the one for you.
I met mine one day on the dating site Matchmaker and we married 7 years ago and life is fantastic.
Have a wonderful weekend
If It's any help, I met my present wife when I'd stopped looking. This may seem kind of counter-intuitive but I was completely frustrated with the process of finding a girlfriend or trying to fall in love. At that point I got on with my life and also changed my search parameters, deciding instead to look for a friend/companion and to hell with romance. Wouldn't you know it when I stopped looking for love I found a friendship which then blossomed into love when I least expected it. My wife and I have been married now 21 years and I think our relationship is stronger for having been a friendship first. Best of luck!
Watch out for ladders made of "wood" though. You never know when the next step will be a rotten one and then your ass goes tumbling down. Looks like you got a nice aluminum ladder though so you are in good shape.
i thought i was the only one "looking for my yoko!" nice story, derek - thanks. i may have found mine now after decades of climbing, so stay positive.
Wonderful Story, but the ladder man! Blood stains, meat hook, I ain't climbing that ladder! LOL
I never did get why she was so unpopular; he wrote some of his best stuff after meeting her.
I've been married to the same girl since 1980.
If you meet someone, the only advice I can give is to make sure you both have the same appetite, and I don't mean just with food.
That, and real respect for each other...nothing else matters.
I would never have never made it this far in life without her.
If you don’t get on the ladder you will never find whets at the top
YOKO LENNON MEETING IS QUITE A TOUCHING STORY. LOVE IS SO UNEXPLAINABLE. LOVE IS LIKE THE WIND IT COMES AND THEN IT GOES.THE MEMORY OF IT LIVES INSIDE YOU FOREVER.
Hey Man,
Lovely story , Your friend told you right !!!
Often times we equate true Luv, with a woman........ why???
After circling this planet at least two times, I've found one thing true,the gift of MUSIC is my one true Luv, she never ever talks back,
she's always there when I need her,
she keeps me PAID, and I always, ......always enjoy being with her.
She can be a Jealous bitch at times and that the reason why some of the most beautiful women on the planet have come & gone out of my life, but hey she's the reason I was able to be in these exotic places to meet these women in the first place !!! Every time I climb her ladder all I can see is an emphatically Expressed YES !!!
Peace out !!
love is the message. Thanks for sharing.
Derek,
It's not a coincidence that this post follows the last one. When we are young, we don't know what we like or don't like; we're open to new experiences. But, with age comes learning, now you think you know who will be perfect for you. You need to "unlearn" your preferences for what you're looking for-
Thanks was very inspiring. needed that today. am still climbing ladders trying to succeed in this business but I must say that climbing is the best part. Meeting friends & other people along the way is the best part of the journey.
Hey Derek, does this work for women, too?
Any other thoughts on finding a partner out there?? (extra bonus points for one who's willing to travel!)
A thought for those reading who might be saying, I keep climbing ladders but I haven't met a single soul...don't forget to reach out to those who climb the same ladders and also those who put them in your path. Some will be momentary fixtures in your life and some will be keepers...either way, you'll need someone willing to climb as high as you are if you're planning on taking someone with you.
When you come to a fork in the road ... take it!
Great note Derek. Love your texts. I was lucky enough to find my Yoko (she us called Ek) when I was 20 and stll together. I am no Lennon but she and I both agree that after almost 20 springs together it is forever while it lasts.
Yup. The best love comes when you aren't looking.
Just keep breathing...it will happen
When least expecting fate tumbles in.
Absolutely love it! Thanks for sharing. It is so true, and in the words of the master, Jackie Robinson: "Life is not a spectator sport!" Keep climbing those ladders!
Climbing ladders can be hard work...but worth it
And in the words of John Lennon...
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
so good, It's and picker-upper
Wow. I guess I need to keep climbing.
Yeah...if your not there, nothings gonna happen!!
the journey is the destination. thanks for reminding me.
WOW!
I loooove it! If I can think of the greatest love I have seen in my life, it's exactly Yoko & Jhon's.
It's like a dream, the ideal "standard" of how it should be!!
I saw in a documentary where J.L. said that since he was a teen-ager he was dreaming of a love like that.
..and then He got it! He found it. It found him, them!
So I'll keep climbing and Dreaming.
..because hey!... I am Not the ONLY ONE!!
Love,Love True Great Love to All of you/us!
Petra Westen
The ladder up to Heaven is buried six foot in the ground!
I will set up a ladder for you if you come to Alaska and climb it!
It's a great story Derek, but I really hope I don't find Yoko at the end of my ladder.
I acquired the "Memoirs of John Lennon" that Yoko put together, absolutely brilliant. Love your output brother.
it wasn;t the early 90s it was the
early 60s and yes I know the full
story I have dedicated two of my
clips about JOHN LENNON,and a third
with him also in it and YOKO, Ive
been trying a way to get YOKO to
see them as they are originally
done is there any way you may HELP
i d love her opinion, Im a real
Yoko and John nut so there you go
ive been climbing ladders
it's been my experience that the really good looking girls don't even own a ladder.
but then, i am shallow.
Very nice! I even like it much more than the business or music post!
I do remember that story of how they met and even more revealing is that you are still looking. Don't give up looking!
Devin
I love that! Keep climbing ladders, doing one's thing, being curious and finding where the "string" leads to, exploring, looking, keeping extroverted. Love it. That's how I met the love of my life, my husband of 15+ years. And we're still crazy about one another. I had just about given up ever finding "the" mate, and had become resigned to being a single mom. And then I began to really enjoy my life, just as it was, single momhood and all. And then we met. Totally unexpected. And we fell in love, hard and fast. And the love affair that started that late October night in 1993 continues to this day.
A very unique and interesting story.
Thank you, Derek for sharing it!
Hope you got my message I sent you?
I need your advice.
I think we must keep climbing the ladders to find our "yes". If it turns out to be our Yoko, glorious. Lots of ladders, lots of magnifying glasses (if we are brave enough), and a few "hell yesses" - maybe one of them is our life's true, lasting love, lover, partner.
Me too, Derek. Me, too.
~ HMP
...and just say yes!
Loved it!
That was a beautiful answer. Very beautiful,and sweet and positive, and a nice answer to send a friend. But after a few bad experiences I think I agree with Dr. X and will marry work!
The word that came to my mind about you was 'cute'! Americans say that of me but all the same - cute is what came to mind.
As I said in my last 'thought' I find your style very succinct, nothing wasted, and I like that.
The morale - to get to my own point, gives me some respect for Yoko who I have never liked much. Again, a profound idea and on her part, very simply put.
An interviewer once said to me when I did not get a job "You've been through the valleys, keep on going till you get to the that mountain top" It may sound corny, but the message is similar.
And she did wonderful things for the Beatles.
Very nice story about John and Yoko. Thanks.
I met my John (that's his name, not his profession!) 26 years ago, and we are still happily married. Every day we say how lucky we are.
About what to do when you come to a fork in the road ("take it!"): Arlo Guthrie in concert this year told us his favorite quote, which was from Marilyn Monroe:
'Have you noticed how whenever you said, "What the hell . . ." that it turned out to be the right decision?'
For people (like me) who like to have a lot of control in their lives, I think this is a real truism. For people who never do anything with intention, it's maybe the way to keep going in circles. Know thyself . . . and stay open to growth.
The more I believe in the saying" what you are seeking is also seeking you" the more it happens in my life...
exactement!!! Love it love it..
Every time I climb a ladder, I always find the same thing -- filthy gutters.
I met my wife walking down a street one afternoon at Ramtein Air Base in Germany. It can happen when you least expect it. The basic concept when looking for a potential mate is not to look for one. We've been together now for over 22 years.
Good post. I always love the quest, the discovery. It is almost always worth the climb.
We each may have the opportunity to discover, what? A perfect relationship? I hope not! It would be like living on a flat colorless line. I have had intimate feelings/relationships for all of my partners.
There are times I have also felt repulsed by their being.
I have chosen to share, commit, protect, and grow with an unknown for 32 years. I am still learning her as she is still learning me. We raised two reality conscious homo sapiens who as I, give our earth the credit for our existence. The person I have spent so short a time with has at times been my Yoko: "this is a daily debate within my very being." Partnership is laid out as a supposition that we speak the same mind, and understand the communicated contract.
My thought is this.
Do not limit the expectation open up, Feel the others being beyond what is seen. Experience their energies, then and only then will your fruit ripen into your Yoko or? Lennon!
EZL
The "secret" is to get others to climb the ladder. You simply clean up the mess when they fall and bill them bigtime!
Derek...get an extension ladder!
i love your posts : )
I believe we all are looking for our Yoko whether it be that special someone or something that happens when we least expected it to. Until it does, I do what mama said, keep climbing.
mmm...wistful...you'll find her. You're one of the most magnetic individuals I've ever met, you project an energy that's positive and active and you meet 1,000's of possible Yokos every year. If she's on earth, your paths are sure to cross.
Great... I find that one as to be attentive enough to follow the "directions" given by her intuition.
Keyword : attention.
Don't feel alone brother.
I'm 43, and I've never been married.
But I've ''falen off the ladder'', and had my heart broken many times! I always thought the ex's would sue me if I got rich from the songs I wrote about them!
P.S.,
I released my first record,
''BEWARE the WEAPON! after what happened after my ''surprise'' 40th birthday party . . . The real surprise was my girlfriend of 4 years dumped me that night!
It's ALL about the climb!
it's in a 'empty'room
going up...
meet? her name is muse...
P.S: anyone want to listen my piano music "destiny date"?
Yep. Your friend's reply Was priceless. Right on! To climbing ladders!
The first thing that I usually tell my Tai Chi/Aikido class is- This is a journey,when and if you get a certificate does not mean that's when you learned the art or won the prize,it was picked up a bit at a time along the way dureing the journey.Enjoy each step and stay in the now.
Island Frank
Well I think it boils down to "don't try to force anything"
You may be trying to put a square peg into a round hole. no pun.
Awesome dude !!!
Great story, Derek! I too once felt like the John/Yoko relationship was something to aspire too...I always really admired that they treated each other as equals...and stuck together despite the forces trying to separate them and tear them apart.
I actually wrote a song about a relationship of mine using the John/Yoko relationship as a metaphor...I mixed that idea with the concept of a Dear John letter...and smashed the two songs together like "A Day in the Life". It's a weird little thing, but you can check it out here, if you're interested:
http://www.brianhartzog.com/free-mp3s/128Kps/Brian-Hartzog-03-Oh-Yoko-Dear-John.mp3
Brian
I wonder how many women are looking for their Yokum.
The answer only comes when you're not trying.
Just keep being YOU. The honesty and irony of your comments are a breath of fresh air. I just send you a big, human hug.....and lots of thanks.
This is so crazy - I'm on the road and just spent this afternoon listening to the interview where John and Yoko talk about this! I have had the audio for over a year and just got around to it. (his last interview, recorded a mere 12 hours before his death)
Loved this, and it is clearly somehow extremely pertinent at this moment - the universe is repeatedly hurling it at me : )
That's quite elegant.
...I will stop looking for my Yokos and let it be!
well we all know what happened to the beatles after yoko entered the picture......STAY OFF LADDERS!
A very nice piece of information!
Perhaps you can also look at this as not finding your Yoko but that you have climbed many ladders and found many Yoko's. I have cherished all my different Yoko's in my life and each has brought something special into my life. Some were better than others but nevertheless, they were all wonderful.
So you know what they say when you are climbing a ladder,...Don't look down!
Solitoode
GREAT STORY
Beautiful. While you're up there, pull down a few stars and stuff 'em in your pockets to give to her when she appears.
You may never know how much I needed to hear this! And to remember that my ladders may not look like yours.
Thanks for this gem Derek. Don't think the posts you send out all have to be about music or business success or stuff like that. Content like this is very much appreciated.
Lol. By all accounts, Yoko doggedly pursued John, systematically alienating him from his friends, his family, even his son Julian. All this in a successful attempt to control almost every aspect of his life. You do not need anything as toxic as a Yoko in your life, Derek, you need someone who will let you be...well, YOU. Good luck!
There's nowhere you can be which isn't where you're meant to be. It's easy.
Hey Derek,
Carmen
Can I just say that being on your email list is really cool. I don't know a thing about self promotion or putting myself out there but I'm sure getting inspired by your guidance. It like having a big brother watching out for me!! It's really empowering. Thank you
Finding someone to Love for the rest of your life is easy. A person can give Love to anyone they want. Your Yoko? She may be in your past, or in your future. Star crossed lovers, or Love waiting to happen. No one knows, and in the end it doesn't really matter if you know what true Love really is.
Your ex girlfriend is right, just keep climbing ladders, and when you make a choice, it will be the right one. Because YOU made it.
Loved that Derek! My wife-since 1978, and I were just discussing how we met back then.No internet, no cell phones.A different world. We nearly died together when Yoko lost John, when we-the world lost him. What a great standard- their love- to use as a measurement.
Thanks Derek. And the picture, I see the hook.
I love this post so much; it really says a lot in very few words.
@Andre Woodvine:
Exactly! I fell madly in love a few weeks after I stopped looking. You summed up my story well:
"At that point I got on with my life"
Just live your life and do the things you love, and if you do, the people you want to meet will be right there, doing those same things.
In practice:
The first time I met my love, M., I was bartending and I had some other guy trying to pick up on me. Otherguy left to go to the men's room and I said to M."I don't think this guy wants what I want."
M. asked, "What do you want?"
I replied, "I just want a good conversation, about interesting ideas."
M. replied, "I can give you that."
We've been together almost 15 years at this point.
Derek ... You're so sweet. I'll be your Yoko.
My aunt met the love of her life in a laundromat....not exactly a romantic ambiance. Ya never know when or where .
I love that story! I remember John Lennon telling that story on a talk show just like it was Yesterday. At least you got closure on that so you can open a new window!
the night I met the love of my life I told him the same story. it was in a conversation we were having about saying Yes. he knew the reference and we bonded over that too. I wonder how many people have that same experience, sharing the story of how John and Yoko met while meeting for the first time.
And, you want to know what else I think about that? Take Me for example I have been in the MUSIC industry for more than 10 years. I started writing at the age of a teenager. I have notice my writings in songs. But, I never had proof. But ,know I have had problems like I want to be on TV but, something happen on waterman it scared me. And, know that I want to do MUSIC I think of that, SOmebody ruinning my future. Because, My name is Silver you know it is weird. But, I pay no attention to the Haters. And, I keep climbing until I reach my goal like everyone else. Get too.
> We dated for a while, but lost touch. (My fault.)
Perhaps, you should have said, we dated for a while. But,we lost touch. It was my fault. You think!
Just calling to say we love you, Derek.Rght On.
Love U.
Lucky to climb unlucky to walk beneath everything seems to have a positive and a negative even ladders
Derek, we can only be happy in this very moment . . . and this one . . . and this one. Your partner is looking for you too. In the spring she will arrive. She will recognize you, and say "I know who you are".
part fate, part destiny. I think that the right person is always there but we are not ready to see them until the time is right because other things get in the way in life.
E' vero l'amore appare quando uno meno se l'aspetta.Non c'è bisogno di cercarlo,è l'amore che cerca
chi vuole.
Wow! Very cool story. The best part is that its real...
I met my wife when we were 14, in 1969. My first girlfriend. First girl I ever kissed. But when we went to different high schools, we split up. After high school I moved away, but later returned. When we were 20, our paths crossed again when she picked me up hitchhiking. We dated, and became lovers for the first time. But we didn't get along. She was a bitch. Then in the early eighties we both got married to other people, and both had single daughters, who are 2 years apart. At the end of the eighties, we both got divorced, and our paths crossed again in 1990. We dated, and got along great, but one night after a date, her ex showed up (turns out they weren't legally divorced, just separated) and he made a big scene, so we split up again. In 1992 we both tried to make it work with our ex's, but it didn't work out. In 1994 she called my workplace to ask for a mutual friend's number (she thought I had reunited with my ex) and I asked her out. We've been together, happily, ever since, and in 2005 we got married. Turns out she's my Yoko. Just goes to show...you never know.....
Love IT!
Cool Derek.
d
Hey Derek,
I love this entry. Very romantic and I totally know how you feel about the whole relationship, dating game, etc., whatever you want to call it. I think the kind of person or feeling your desiring is what everyone wants: the person he/she can relate to, and who will totally understand you and never question your personality or try to change it. This quality is not easy to find in anyone or everyone. I strongly believe that this idea we hold or imagine can be found once in a lifetime or once in our own individual lifetime.
I believe that this idea (and I continue to say idea because it can be called love or whatever else name we choose to call it) is so special that once we obtain it or think we do…it is never ours to possess or physically possess. The result (because or maybe) one of the two people will not cherish it enough, both lose.
I will use myself as an example. I met someone over a year ago by putting up a post about myself and when I finally got to the seventh or eighth email and chatted with this person online (just like I did with the others before crossing their names off the list); I was comfortable enough to meet him in person. First, all he did was talk and talk and talk…I thought “My God! He’s one of those guys just into himself. At least I got a jamba juice out of this!” Afterwards, he turns to me and asks about me. After an hour and a half of him talking and me only 30 minutes (maybe less)…turns out I made the first move and held his hand on the way back to his car. Fifth-teen minutes later, we were making out a few blocks away from my house.
We immediately told each other secrets from our lives that could make a movie. We didn’t hold anything back from each other and I loved it…I had never felt so in love, safe, and still level-headed all at the same time. He made me feel beautiful and special. Now I won’t give all the details of where things got rocky but I can say there were obstacles that literally prevented us from being together. Although he isn’t here to defend himself, and I’ll try to be respectful, most were caused by him. I know I’m not perfect but I do know that I really, really gave it my all to him and our relationship. I will always love him, and the love we had or the one I thought I possessed can never be sought again. I’ll never stop loving him.
Yes, I’m now talking with someone else…in fact meeting him this week even…but my heart knows what its’ lost. A couple years ago a friend sent me a chain letter of what women should know. One stood out to me the most: women should know when to try harder…and when to walk away. I now know the true meaning of this statement.
Although this chapter in my life is over, I won’t let it hold me back. I know I can love again and I know I will find someone else but I can’t guarantee I will be so lucky to possess this bittersweet experience again. This isn’t easy for anyone at any age and we’re all looking for our Yoko or John. I believe the point your friend was trying to make is as long as you’re open to love, it will find its way to you. Or as my uncle always told me, “don’t go looking for love, love will find you.”
Nicole
Hi Derek,
That was very short and sweet. Another gem from 'Sivers University.'
Keep up the good work my friend. I must say that, I am on e of the music artists that has had a great education from your writing.
Keep up the good work.
By the way, check this out:
"Posted a new song: "Lights, Camera, Action Feat. Camstar Produced by C.R.I.$.I.$." http://www.reverbnation.com/c./poni/5569947
Excellent reply...I'd often wondered why some people just fall into a successful situation and others try all their lives and can't find success...
I remember seeing a special on the show "All In The Family," where Sally Struthers mentioned (parphrasing) that there was an incredible "magic" about the show...and if a person is lucky, the come into one or some "magical" situations in their life...she also mentioned which I thought was interesting (tho others will probably disagree)...you don't find the magic...the magic FINDS YOU!
Don't forget that there has to be a "yes" at the end of the ladder.
Lennon repeatedly said that if the word hadn't been "yes", everything would have ended up different.
Hi Derek
I knew JL met Yoko at an art gallery but,didn't know he climbed a ladder.From Stevie Winwood's Album "arc of a diver"If you see a chance take it,find romance.You've got to know when to make your move.
Invite me to your wedding when you do.
Pete
All you need is love. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thanks. My profession is teaching writing. Been an instructor for just over two decades. Thank you for your emails--for sharing. I've become a fan.
My Yoko is Lena. Our ladder was a folk club in New York. 1987. We both said "yes." Still do.
I spent I long time looking for "the one". The discovery I made on that journey was the fact that the ladder of happiness leaned against the walls of my own soul. The instant I became cool with that my deepest friend and truest love appeared before my very eyes. She is now my wife!!
Climbing the ladder is inevitable if your "Yoko" is to be discovered.
But this does not imply carelessness or the lack of desire for a "Yoko".
Seeing the ladder, recognizing the ladder and climbing the ladder all denote some kind of hard work. One should be able to realize when the opportunity comes in and appreciate it. Of this the Bible says, one who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18v22).
Of course, the "Yoko" is a favor that the heavens give to the one who finds. So in peace, do your part, know what you want, look for what you want in the right place, recognize and appreciate what you want, for your ladder may just be at the corner.
Thanks Derek (http://www.ammgospel.com
I agree, hindsight is 20/20. The magic part is recognizing how you feel when you're around someone, not "who" they are or if they match an ideal you have come to yearn to possess.
Perhaps your "Yoko" is someone you already know, but you're too clueless to figure that out because you're busy doing...something else. Perhaps it will be the next person you meet, or that person will introduce you. Recognition of the beloved is the challenge.
People think love will hit them over the head; intense, passionate. Love is subtle, it sneaks up on you, it happens when you give up, open up and allow love inside. It's when you offer love that it lasts.
I have come to believe that great relationships are made & woven together - not "found."
Nice.
Very Intersting
Inspirational True Storie !
Carey
That is so awesome. Ladders can be anything - not just a real physical ladder, but could be time, a concert, an elevator, facebook or myspace, anything that is random. It has to be random, because anything else would be trying too hard and would be superficial at best. The same thing happened to me with an old boyfriend of 25 years ago - we were each others' "Yoko" and it was amazing. Then it ended bitterly. 25 years later we met again on myspace - the Yoko part was still there, but we're both happily married and have had such a conversation as you posted. Totally cool, very true.
Was hoping more for a Nikki than a " Yoko "
thanks for sharing.
Chuck
"Love" the greatest adventure, in search of that undeniable soulmate,
Always when you least expect it, Fate steps in to lead the way.
The right girl is a gift that you give yourself!
One can approach any situation with either "I know" or "I don't know" --- to have intention or not to have intention (if you're wavering in the middle that would be the same as not having intention, not knowing). The results may not be instantaneous but if you keep knowing, keep having intent, keep climbing ladders --- you will have results.
WOW!
What a lively, LOVEly conversation you opened!
Great presents(presence),wrapped up in human form are everywhere! What an amazing planet we live on...
I suppose you will meet the one someday and you may even get married... for some reason, it feels like that everyone you communicate with in your blogs would be invited to this wedding? Where do you think that would be? Would it involve taking vows on a ladder? Happy Labor Day Derek.
e
Thanks for sharing, Derek.
I think Fran nailed it: "People think love will hit them over the head; intense, passionate. Love is subtle, it sneaks up on you, it happens when you give up, open up and allow love inside. It's when you offer love that it lasts."
Here's an equation (hypothesis from a professor of neuroscience) I just learned about:
Joy = Pleasure X Acceptance
(Conversely: Suffering = Pain X Resistance)
However, Joy is not Love. Instead, I believe Love develops through openness, awareness and acceptance.
There is only one Yoko, and she was for John. I believe that is why the relationship you had with the young lady didn't work. That special women for you is waiting just for you to find her,but, not on the ladder. So climb down look around, she maybe closer then you think.
Excellent Story. I knew a about that and often wonder if that is how the band YES got their name. Jon Anderson was a huge fan of Lennon as you can hear the references in "Your Move".
Be curious, be aware, be open.
Some people would find this too personal for sharing. But I appreciated this.
It reminded me of the last line of 'Vanilla Sky'. Something as surreal as utopian as hopeful as ridiculous as maybe... even possible.
chicks? chicks????? oh lord, we have so very far to go....
great story derek.
Don't forget that it's the climb, the realization along the climb, and not just the "yes" at the top.
So sweet! I kind of agree with the first post ... ten million posts ago (crikey!) .... It's a miracle when it happens and if you're really lucky you spend the rest of your days thinking you can't believe your luck! The secret is to NOT clutter up your life with the wrong people. Then you're free when the right one turns up. Like I was.
What a wonderful story, the good book says "seek and you shall find" However sometimes we search to hard and we can't see for looking and all the time she was right there in view.
Smart girl! And that philosophy should probably be applied to most experiences in life. It's more about the noticing than the looking.
You've already found your Yoko.
It's you. I think the sooner you realize it, the sooner you can jump off the ladder and fully enjoy life
and love (probably one in the same) in the now!
MAYBE YOU LET YOUR YOYO GET AWAY BUT COULD BE SHE WAS'NT WHAT WAS RIGHT FOR YOU MY HUSBAN SAW ME WHEN I WAS 14 YEARS OLD AND SAID TO HIM SELF THAT'S THE GIRL I'M GOING TO MARRY AND WE DID.NOW OCT. 28th IT WILL BE 59 YEARS WE ARE CELEBRATINT HOPE YOU FIND NOT YOUR YOYO BUT MRS.RIGHT
AND MAY GOD BLESS THAT MEETING
[[[[MRS.RIGHT FOR MR.GILLILAN]]]
been climbing ladders for almost 50 years. my legs are getting sore 8-)
loved that Derek! yes, (and no cheating with a parachute
)
Bravo!
smart woman
It sounds like a rock & roll fairytale...proof that the best love stories are the real ones.
Thanks for the reminder. : )
My Girlfriend Kathy called herself Yoko when she would be less than happy with one of my originals.I guess Kathy had the more common view of Yoko. I like the name,I give high marks on that alone. Russ
still climbing Derek. Still climbing. Awesome text, man.
Every band has their Yoko, followed quickly by the band breaking up!
Yes sorry I apologise, on reading
LADDERS again, you had met a lady
in the early 90s, well it was always
the same dream for me to meet someone like John, and I did[still
together] and happy, its a beautiful
story and I hope someday it happens
again for you, I wouldn;t mind
reliving all those moments again,
yes CLIMBING LADDERS at our wedding
he sang OH IMBI[OH YOKO]
I don't think finding your "Yoko" is necessarily about finding a mate as it is about finding happiness, success and fulfillment in your own life. I guess I'll just keep climbing.
Thanks Derek
ok i will make a deal with you derek.
you climb the ladder, i will steady it for you. if your yoko is at the top, congrats.
if heather locklear is at the top, come back down, i'll handle it.
From someone who has recently found his "Yoko", I can be witness to that she only comes when you have done your work. If you are still doubting yourself or thinking that someone or something else will complete you, if you haven't found peace with yourself, your search will continue. Women will come into your life, but not "Her". When she finally appears, she will be that ladder, that test of your willingness to climb, and that magnifying glass she holds up is to bring you into full view- all of you- the good, the bad, and the ugly, and that single word- "yes"- you say not only to her, but to the Universe. Yes, I am ready to be what I am meant to be. Yes, I am ready to be loved. Yes, I am ready to love.
Derek, dont climb any ladder, its a bad omen, she is on d floor, very close to you, probably on a power bike. trust me.
We must never let a fear of heights keep us down....
I am kind of a heavy dude, so I don't think i will be climbing any ladders!
I've been married for over 10 years so I have no ladders to be climbed!
As far as trying to find love anyway! lol
Has any of you dudes ever heard the story "Or Joke" about the old Bull and the young bull! lol
Before you start to climb, try to recall if you have a fear of heights. (smile).
Derek, I REALLY hate to be the sour apple in this bunch, and while I understand that the point of your story is that love just happens without you looking for it, there's much more to the John & Yoko story that you left out.
Let's remember for a moment that John was married to Cynthia at the time that he met Yoko; married to the mother of his FIRST son, Julian. Let's also remember that Yoko made every effort to destroy that couple to the point of literally barging into their cab and inserting herself between them. And that one fine day, when John's unsuspecting wife came home, she found Yoko in HER bathrobe, with John in his, and they both basically blew her off. Afer he divorced Cynthia he had little contact with Julian for several years, basically blowing off his son as well as his marriage.
Not so romantic now, is it?
Climb your ladders, Derek, and I hope and pray that you find true love. But I also hope and pray that you do not build your happiness upon someone else's misfortune.
I used this as my 'Thought for the day' email today
I dig this because it's a poetic truth. Thing is, the mundane spaces in between climbing the ladders can convince someone to down right loathe "finding a Yoko". I've been married for 7 years and when it comes to advice about 'finding a Yoko' - I don't think I really have any. You gotta follow your own truth on this one. Somehow, the universe does some trippy shit to make worlds collide and when it does -you'll simply know it in your very bones 
Yes. But my simple one word comment was interpreted as spam by your spam catcher and I had to go back and add more words. So much for the ladder and the word on the ceiling. We live in a world of no. A world where TerribleTim culture has not been able to gain a foothold.
Synchronicity - was just listening to the John Lennon Dec 1970 interview w Rolling Stone (now available for free on iTunes)....
...my wife knew who Robyn Hitchcock and Gram Parsons were...that was our "ladder" - 13 years later here we are...married with an almost 4 year old supergirl...
My aunt kept climbing ladders and got married at 48.
So many women so little time I saw that on a baseball cap in a convenience store. I believe we are all in this together.
Well, hindsight's a bitch! Let's not mince any words. Would Yoko like him without the Rock Mega-Stardom and all its benefits? Love is a 4 letter word too! What kind of game is this life and world anyway? I'm not only being cynical, but have we, as intelligent beings, asked this question enough? Like WTF is happening here? Seriously! People procreate because they're programmed to? Why? Ego?
Why is it that once a relationship is broken off by one side because of x, y, and z, that both people don't grow and learn from all of the things that didn't work and make changes, thereby making the relationship work better, without crippling the person they supposedly 'love' or 'loved'? Proof that 'love' as it's thrown around in our culture is b.s., because real love never dies. WE ARE NOT PERFECT, but can only strive for getting better.
Ladders... I don't know man, we build the ladder for what?...so we can get kicked off and climb up it again and again and again...
Then we get old, after going through the ups and downs, finally seeing things with hopefully more insight and wisdom, but for what? To die.
What's the POINT?! People dropping like flies everyday. WHY? Exxon raking in record profits after killing the Alaskan ecosystem. People still go to Exxon/Mobil... not I.
Why do 'ladders' exist? Why do we climb the ones going down? Why are we not allowed to correct our actions after learning what's at the bottom?
Maybe at the top of some ladder, one day, there will be something real, someone who knows the meaning of the word - love, who won't let go no matter what.
May we find peace and love within ourselves, because as we're climbing, it's all we have.
re: the meat hook comment.
It's not blood, it's red paint. It's not a meat hook, it's a hook to hang the bucket of paint. (It's a freshly painted Barn.)
Knowing what things actually are changes the story doesn't it?
Very inspirational Derek, thank you.
Um...Can I look for Shakira instead please? ha-ha
How truly beautiful and touching. This inspired me to write today, such a gift to be a muse, Derek!
Blessings on your gift and your willingness to share.
I grew up around a very special women who was very passionate about meeting Yoko, she wrote her many letters and sent her some of her pieces of crystal art. I'll never forget seeing the letter that Yoko had sent in reply, it had a nice Earth image. She had agreed to meet my friend if she would be video taped before hand. My friend declined to be videoed and she never got to meet Yoko.
I love that story about how John & Yoko met, the love that John & Yoko shared had a profound influence on my life and many others. The love in for peace they did was powerful stuff.
"All we are saying is give peace a chance."
Now I know why I think your a cool dude D.
Best wishes
Hi Derek,
Yes Kenton Scott is my hero. A fine bloke from Punxatauney. I wonder If he played in the brass band for the film "Groundhog Day?" That would have been a long gig. Climbing ladders is a long gig sometimes too.
I thought a lot of keys players would be interested in my keyboard set-up. The only one so far is the "Noted" George Whitty in CA. It is another invention of mine that only aroused mild interest. Perhaps it is because you have to play it. No 3d an hour philiponos
supplying 98% of the music through a fake sequencer. Everything you hear is YOU. Yes, you even need your feet to play it.
If anyone would like to see it you are welcome to contact me. perhaps if I sent the photos etc to Derek he may publish them.
Best regards,
MTMM of OZ.
Great story, espesially the bit about the magnifying glass...a magnifying glass at the top of a ladder...imagine if there was a magnifying glass at the bottom of every ladder...you could look through it and the ladder would look small...all ladders would look small...all challenges would look smaller...carry your own magnifying glass around with you as you look for ladders!!!
may i just add that as we live our lives-we are each building our own ladder-by our actions, intentions, thoughts...
and as a musician-i feel that the songs i write are my ladder to more opportunities in my career...
its also a good argument for going thru life with our heart, eyes and ears open-how many of us have passed our "yoko" by cuz we were not paying attention.
thanks for continually encouraging us to think Derek!
Yes indeed, this hits the nail on the head. The most defining and monumental events in my life happened when I was not looking for them. I met my wife of twenty years on a day when I wanted absolutely nothing to do with woman, and my biggest music success took place on an evening when I simply was out for a beer.
Thanks, I needed that. Your timing was perfect.
Brilliant Derek! Brought a tear that one... after two failed marriages and plenty of 'frustrations' sometimes I think I'm better off alone... and then you post this... time to start climbing again... it's not always about the music.. Thanks mate..
I had given up on finding my "soul mate". I went back to school to study something I love, music production and computer graphics.
This goofy, skinny Indian guy in three of my classes kept bugging me about the homework, assignments, until finally I noticed he was interested in more than homework. He heard I had started a little band and he wanted to join. I asked him what instrument? "Guitar, I shred," he said. I told him I already had a guitarist and besides, I play guitar and I do not need another guitarist. Noticing he was Indian, I told him him he could join if he could play sitar. This was little presumptuous remark on my part. It was an of handed comment designed to frustrate his efforts, but in my deepest dreams I have always loved sitar.
The following weekend he went down to Berkeley, bought a sitar, asked his uncle to teach him a little and showed up at my next rehearsal He played a few notes very well. I said, OK your in. Ten years have passed and the goofy, skinny Indian guy has gain a little weight.
He is now an excellent sitar player. We perform at least four shows a week and we have a really interesting, unique blend of multi-culture music we bring to the world. We were married in 1999. We have a six year old son. And yes, he is my soul mate.
Hi Derek, thank U4 sharing.......
speaking for myself, and without going into great detail; It was only when I finally & totally surrendered my life to G-d that He filled the emptiness I felt for many years after going through divorce, and it is just a comfort knowing that he never leaves us nor forsakes us.
Reff:
Matthew 6:33
Bit of trivia - that same Yoko art piece was where the band Yes got their name -
I have just begun to climb ladders myself.
Thanks for sharing!
It's always an absolute pleasure to read your posts. Thanks for all you do.
Yes, keep on climbing ladders. But don't expect to find Yoko on the top. Just climb them for the sake of it, and then one day...
Thank you, Derek!
God has a habit of hitting you over the head when you least expect it. I met my wife of 41 years at a high school volleyball game at the beginning of our Junior year. I had my hand on a bench she was standing on, and she stepped on it. I looked up at it was instantaneous; I was lost completely captivated by her eyes. We went through the usual teen stuff, dating other people at the insistence of our parents, breaking up, coming back together, and then finally getting married just before I shipped off to Vietnam. She's been married to a musician for 41 years without ever complaining about the ups and downs of my career. It sounds like a cliche, but the truth is we're more in love than we were in the beginning. The moral is to always be ready for your Yoko moment, and grab her right away!
Even if it's an inch at a time, it's still upward progress to the top of that mountain...inspiration, motivation, FEAR, all great propellants... : )
What you do when you reach the top, that's the next story...
Thanks, Derek. Keep 'em coming.
Be careful what you wish for. You will need to be a very strong person (and so will she)to conquer the world together. John and Yoko love is misunderstood by many.
Deeep......such a wonderful story..
Follow money and you will lose everything... follow your passion and.... you will always have enough money.... or Yokos
Wise friend you have there.
i can still get away with fifteen laps.
this is good and nice info... thanks
There are only two really important things in life.
One is love.
I forget the other one.
sj
Of course, it can be a 'good Yoko' or a 'bad Yoko' - just because the unexpected and unlooked for might seem desirable or special doesn't mean it is 'meant' in some way - just that you are presented with a choice. Climbing ladders can be an excuse to never reach the top...
Ladders are one of the primary instruments of home injury; I've put all of mine on the curb for recycling. But I like the story and share the philosophical intent just the same.
Thanks for sharing, Derek. Great story!
I'd never heard this - great story!
YEAH---There are lots of women out there, and not too hard to meet. The problem is, meeting the right one who you enjoy spending time with and have a lot in common. I think musicians would do well to find another musician to "hook-up" with,that also has other "talents" that are a plus. The more in common the better. She needs to be self directed and knows how to take care of herself.
The holy Bible says, When a man finds a wife, he has found a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.GOD knows where your favor is.
Understandable quote she said to you Derek. Realism at it's finest.
I had the fortune of semi knowing John Lennon in the late 1970s and last time we spoke was in August of 1980, he was recording the Double Fantasy LP.
He loved Yoko's take on life, their artistic thought patterns were in tune to one another.
We've all climbed that ladder, or will be soon. I did and found my soulmate. "Life is good."
Peace
~Mark~
Since I've been back in Florida my thoughts have been on two people. My boyfriend I dated in senior high school in 1970 at New Stanton. the relationship ended badly. No, there was no guarrel. I later saw him again after his divorce and we still did get back together. I am glad though because I was not mature enough. The other person I meet was in Atlanta and he was a drummer. I won't finish the story, but he gave me some good advice about feeling music. I do not know if I will ever see either one of those guys, but I was not looking for either of them when they came alone. Right now I am glad I am mature enough to get it right if someone comes alone.
I really like this one, and I have met my Yoko, didn't find her up a ladder though because she is scared of heights.
Thanks Derek
i painted houses one summer while in that desperate divide between college and "real life." Having never been on really tall ladders before i found it to be both exilerating and terrifying. During the course of that summer i had the pleasure of having the bottom slip out from under me, sending both me and the ladder crashing to the ground, on several occassions.
Reading this article reminded me of this experience, and looking back I realized a couple things in relation to my experiences since.
1.) Though climbing ladders is ultimately the only way to elevate yourself, you must first make your best efforts to ascertain that the ladder is a sturdy one. The ladder being a relationship or your product. If the ladder is warped,unable to hold your weight, or not tall enough to get the job done, you are putting yourself at risk for little to no gain.
2.) The surface on which you plant the base of your ladder must be solid and steady. If you intend to extend a sixty foot ladder on a bed of pebbles, (trust me) you are setting yourself up to come crashing to the ground ladder and all. The surface. being your audience or the place that you are in your life, must be appropriate for the size of the task you are taking on.
This is not to say that i think its best not to take risks, but that you need to first look HARD at both your circumstances and your abilities before climbing these ladders.
This is also not to say that even with sturdiest of ladders on the steadiest of surfaces that circumstances won't prevent you from achieving your goals.
Either way crash and burn or get the job done, climbing the ladders to elevate beyond your comfort zone is the only way to grow.
Thanks for the great article Derek.
Simply Beautiful.
Your best and most poignant and poetic piece to date. Mark that piece of writing as a Diamond Winged Tramp; if you get my drift.Never stop climbing.
Last fall (birthday time) I went to Sedona, hiked way back into a red rock ravine with water, veggies, cheese, and a huge bag of fat colored chalks a friends gave me. I got into my birthday suit and over the next four days painted my open heart all over that amazing sculptural dry wash and sang and sang with the coyotes and birds. I had thought ahead enough to include a good full moon...but I now realize I forgot the ladder!
I found my "better half" while doing volunteer work at an arts center for kids. Sunday nights for three years, I hosted and ran an open stage coffee house for budding songwriters and talented musicians. I guess it was good karma.
We've been together for ten years, and he tours with me as my guitar sideman now.
Short and sweet, but gets the point across. A very endearing and inspirational story.
Stay in the flow......
Thanks,
This idea has helped me to complete the lyrics on a new song.
John(THE FORGOTTEN COWBOY)
ladder is a perfect metaphor for every nook and cranny of this world in which we scour for love... the greatest inspirer o and craving known.... oh and how many Yoko's are allowed in one life??? hopefully at least one.... lol
I'm a firm believer that there is
someone somewhere just for you. If
you find them it will be wonderful.
I know because it happened to me ..
There were two other men who wanted
to marry me and it was difficult to
decide. Both would have made a perfect husband.
Then Jack found me and there was not a doubt in my mind that he was the one. He asked me to marry him
in two weeks and didn't give up.
I thought we should take more time
but I married him 3 months later.
We were married for 60 years.
He left this world years ago. I still love him and I still miss him. I could never love another man the way I love Jack.
This is perfect - it made my day. Thanks Derek.
I love these updates. Some have been positively life changing:
"Hell yes!"
Sarah
Absolutely adorable. Read it to my husband and we both had a wonderful chuckle out of it
Not looking for John Lennon or nobody special, just enjoying each moment. It took me over 13 yrs. to figure this out as I was attached to everything and everybody, My inner wisdom finally came up with this quote:
"In non attachment...lies the wisdom of uncertainty"
Jenny Cohen