What's the difference between like, love, and in-love?
2009-10-06
What's the difference between like, love, and in-love?
How do you know when you love someone instead of just liking them a lot?
How do you know when you're “in-love” with someone instead of just loving them as a person?
I asked a bunch of friends these questions, and got a huge variety of answers:
“If I like anything about someone, I like them. If I like everything about someone, I love them. If I like everything about someone and we have great sex, I'm in love.”
“Like is liking someone, but conditionally. Love is liking someone unconditionally. In-love is just glorification of a temporary infatuation. Eventually it becomes love.”
“This sounds morbid, but I think of it in terms of how I'd react if they died. If I like someone and they died, I'd be sad and cry once or twice. If I love someone and they died, I'd be devastated and cry for days or weeks. If I'm in love with someone and they died, I'd want to die too.”
How do you know?
Do other languages have different terms for “love” versus “in love” that make it more poetically distinct?
C'mon songwriters, I know you've thought about this. 
Love is a series of actions. Being in love doesn't take any effort...that's why dating is so fun.
Well, I love you for posting this article. ;-)d
I can tell you that I knew I was going to marry my wife the second time I met her (the first time, I thought she was already married!). This was something that went far beyond the usual horniness that occurs with youth. We have been together for over 20 years now and we've endured a lot and shared a lot of good times. Now that I'm older, I think that cooking is actually more important than sex
. Basically, Liking someone is enjoying their company periodically, in-love is a pre-occupation with a person that borders on obsession, and loving someone is caring about someone in all times, good, bad, or otherwise.
Finnish does not have the precisely same trichotomy. There are words for liking, being infatuated and loving. The word "love" is probably understood mostly as "being in-love". When a Finn says "I love you" it is probably a tad more intimate than the English counterpart.
Unrequited love is called either "infatuation" or "unrequired love".
If you really want to hammer home that you and I are "in-love", you can say "we love eachother".
The important questions, however, are pretty much the same. How do I know this feeling is liking or loving? If I only had the answers...
Fortunately, the mad rush of infatuation is easy to recognize. Even in others
The questions
Your thoughts are always appreciated Derek. Thank you!
In french, there's not so much difference, because "to like" is "aimer" and "to love"...is "aimer" too !
And being "in love" is "en amour".
But anyway, for me, "to like" is more friendly, "to love" is more passionate, and to be IN love, well that's more amorous. You can love a really great friend, but you are in love with your girlfriend.
Love is something that grows over time...there's a sense of companionship and sharing and wonder at this person you love. I like dogs - but I wouldn't want to marry one. I like a lot of people but I don't think I could live with them. I've been in love many times, but that bloom fades with time. It's wonderful to be in love - it's joyous, passionate and so consuming but so worth it...we glow. But loving someone is a lifetime and takes patience, commitment and joy all at the same time...it's that ultimate surrender...
Interesting post. I've always believed that Love is a decision.
For a friend, I will be there for things they need.
For someone I love, I'm there for anything they need.
For someone I'm in-love with, I will take a bullet if they need it.
The tough part is hoping that the person you're in love with would do the same. That's the beauty of love, you leap for them and hope that you can fly because otherwise all you're doing is falling.
love washes over a multitude of things, it is a choice. To be "in" love is a temporary me, not a resolved, confident, and determined me.
The Shona in Zimbabwe eliminate this question by having the same word for like, love, and want. :-D "kuda"
Not to complicate things anymore - I can love someone a whole lot, but not like them any . . . . go figure . . . .
Like = Attraction
Love = Distraction
In-Love = Disorientation
Hmmmm...
My wife is the only person whose company I can tolerate, day in and day out, without wanting to kill them.
I think feeling sorry for someone is the lowest form of love. Loving an ex wife because of the wonderful person she is (albeit all the rotten names she called you) Being In Love with someone Generally denotes Having a relationship on several levels:Physical,Sexual,Emtional and spiritual. That is the difference between loving someone and being in love.To be In Love there must be a passionate physical,sexual,emotional connection otherwise you just love someone. However if your spouse or lover becomes incapacitated and you would stay with Her or Him everyday and clean them and bathe them and dress them and feed them then this is extraordinary Love that goes above and beyond the Norm and is "True Love"!
Like= indifference, Love=obligation, In Love= coming undone every time
Took me a while to use the word "love" in English for material things. This word in English is quite a bit broader than in many other western languages. Some say the English broad meaning diminishes the word in a love relationship, but that ain't necessarily so. Love actually means "need". In-love is a great word for having realized a mutual need between two people. Hopefully that word would quantify the feeling and reality from that moment on, forever. Liking is temporary and can change at any time, and often pretty arbitrarily, too.
Derek,
To me like is casual and a partial feeling.
Love is whole or complete.Real or true love can only be a complete "ONE".It's like being pregnant either you are or your not.You can't be a little pregnant or have a little love and call either of them real?
ONE LOVE! paythecreator!
Like= enjoying someone's company;
Love= willing to die in order to save that person;
In Love= willing to show the other person that you love them by loving that person the way that they feel loved rather than the way you feel loved. Some people like gifts, others praise still pothers just need hugs… it’s not that easy.
Love is when you are furious at someone for being so rude and unthoughtful, but you think about the days when you were first dating and all the anger disappears.
Those initial first impressions and feelings were so strong that it is impossible to carry a grudge. That is love!
If I like someone it means they've made an impact on me that makes me want to spend more time with them. Something about them makes me like myself.
Love is way too complex. But, when you say you're in love with someone it sort of implies the other person is in love with you. The two people are IN love. They are mentally in that state of mind.
You know, Lauryn Hill has an album about this very subject. If you haven't heard it you should listen to it.
It´s funny how in Colombia (perhaps Latin America) we tend to glorify the phrase "I Love You", "Te Amo", when you say that it´s as if a red alarm has been triggered,
the girl tells to her friends, "he said it", and when there´s trouble they say "but you said it that one time",
I love the phrase "God IS Love", God created everything, so the natural tendency of everything is to return to Love,
I also love the phrase "Love one another as you love yourself"
My husband fell in love with me and then a year and 1/2 later after being just 'friends' - no dating! I fell in love with him. And now 25 years later I wonder what it was that brought us together and it's smell. I LOVE the way he smells and he LOVES the way I smell. Neither of us wears cologne. It's just a who we are kind of a smell.
On the more dramatic side of what is love, we were both watching a movie and I wish I could remember the name, but one of the characters (going through a stressful time in their relationship) asked, "When is it enough?" And My hubby and I both answered simultaneously, "It's never enough." And it hasn't been for the past 25 years no matter how 'stinky' it's gotten.
There Is a Poem-Song on my website which veery much speaks to this
'' One Love -In Love - As Love ''
www.truthmeetstruth.com
Go In Joy
One type of love that I am happy to have in my life is the word used in Holy Scripture for unlimited, unconditional,unmeritted, love. In the New Testament (in the Greek) it is: Agape (pronouced "a-Gup-aye" from the Greek. This type of love supersedes all others as it is not based on human conditions, places, time, etc.,
In essence, this is the kind of Love that God had/has towards His creation in Christ. What Joy!!
Ive never had anyone love me unconditionally. There have always been strings or expectations. The true AGAPE love that is taught in the Bible is a goal we should all aim for.
Jesus loves us with agape love. Wish I had that myself.
Love is a tangable thing indeed but it is based on behaviour limits & financial situations too, try to get a girl to go on a after you spill beer down her & borrow the bus fare home !!
THERE IS TRUE LOVE AND THERE ARE EMOTIONS.
EMOTIONS ARE OF THE INTELLECT, LOVE IS FROM YOUR FEELINGS.
WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE YOU WILL KNOW THE DIFFRENCE.
I WROTE A SONG ONCE IT GOES:
"LOVE IS THE MAGIC OF LIFE.
LOVE IS THE MAGIC OF GIVING.
LOVE IS THE MAGIC OF LIFE THE MAGIC OF LIVING." ECT
"Above the fire of stars our love does sweetly glow."
I remember the last time a woman said that to me, "I'm not in love with you but I do love you." which after awhile I discovered that what that really meant was she was "EXTREMELY PISSED OFF" and that my ass was grass and she was not going to take it anymore. I guess, so much for any kind of real searching of our true feelings and being able to really say what is on our mind; let passive-aggressive behavior be the soup "de jour" on our daily menu of human communication.
Thanks, Derek for this theme as I now have a topic for a speech that I must give this evening. It should bring a chuckle and perhaps, even a few tears.
Like is a positive feeling. Love is a decision and a commitment - regardless of feeling. In love is 37 years tomorrow (10/07/2009) that I first kissed my wife and told her that I loved her and I still want to kiss her and tell her I love her every time I see her.
Like is comfortable and friendly.
In love is ecstatic and tortured.
Love is stability and hard work.
The linguistic approach is interesting because there are, in fact, different ways to say, "I love you," depending on the culture / language. For example, "Ti amo" in Italian is only reserved for spouses and lovers. They say, "Ti voglio bene" for family members and friends. Germans say, "Ich habe dich lieb" to family members and "Ich liebe dich" to lovers/spouses. Interesting that we only have the "I love you" in English and tend to overuse the word "love," anyway ("Oh my God, I LOVE that sweater!" or, "She's so awesome; I love her!"), and therefore, in my opinion, tend to water down its significance when we might want to say it and really mean it.
I try to love everyone (one of those weird Christian things). Some folks make that more difficult, but I guess that's the test.
Being in love is a condition that, to me, seems to involve sending your brain out for a taco dinner, while all major Life decisions are made by one's gonads.
For more information, see my CD "All In" or, for that matter, anyone else's...
Like: Is someone you can stand and talk to, like a friend.
Love: Is someone you also "like" but, who you care about enough for that you would make certain sacrifices for... someone you would miss when they are gone.
InLove: is like love but amped up a thousand fold, they are who you sacrifice everything for would be devastated without and are who you "need" to be with.
That is the person you write songs about, who rush home to be with, who you care about more than yourself.
Thank you Derek. Good question, and got the brain and heart in the right place. Thanks. -william
Loosing "in love" hurts more and for longer than like or love.It's a matter of degrees. For me though, in love is reserved for one person. I can also love things, like sushi, but I can't be in love with it.
two points:
technically speaking, there is no such thing as love.
also, if there were such a thing as love, it could never exist without hate existing as well.
your posts are always much appreciated!
To me liking is something our brain does. Loving is something my heart understands. Being in love is something I'd rather not try to figure out.
"Do other languages have different terms for “love” versus “in love” that make it more poetically distinct?"
Not a song-writer myself but here you go:
In Greek language there are -basically- two words αγάπη and έρως.
Αγάπη (Agape)a deep and profound feeling that can relate to a genuine friendship, love of a mother to her child etc.
Maybe this is what you call "love".
'Ερως (Eros) when you're attracted by someone else -usually the oppossite sex
Ingredients: admiration, attraction.
Maybe this is what you call "in love"
Liking someone is that initial meeting, or being attracted to what they've said, or how they dress. It may become a friendship, and nothing more, in which case the "in Love" part is bypassed. Being in love is when the chemicals basically scream out, "Compatible! Compatible! OMG!!!"
Loving someone after that is the most rewarding. They accept you for who you are (and for who you are not), and you love them likewise. And you can still like them and feel "in love"... Why not?
"Music is love in search of a word."
--Sidney Lanier
Like, love and in-love
are like
coffee,
coffe with sugar and cream,
and
coffe with sugar and cream spilled
on you lap
HI Derek, first of all, what a beautiful photo of the elderly couple in the hamac. Absolutely stunning..if that isn't love then what is love? that photo says it all. Well, I'll tell you a quick story:a number of years ago I was the director of classified ads for an entertainment newspaper in Montreal called the Montreal Mirror. I placed an ad in myself for free and which said that I was going to write a book about love and I ask people to send me by writing on paper what they thought love was. I received many responses. One person wrote me 25 pages of what he thought love was. I read everything and at the end I realized I have no idea what love is. So I sat down at my piano and wrote the track No-one knows what love is which is on my cd Slowly the Day Goes By (on cdbaby). I believe Derek love has as many definitions and realities and meanings as there are stars in the milky way and beyond. It is too complicated to define in any way. All we know is that it is a certain feeling that is deep and makes one feel so close to the other yet keeping one's precious independent self. Scott Peck's book the road less traveled is a great book to study on this subject. But no book can explain what loving feelings really are. thanks Derek for bringing this topic up. That was a loving gesture on your behalf to share that with us. Love and light, Mark
Love this one too...and timely in my life. The Desperate Housewives writers did a fun thing this week... an old couple, who hadn't said "I love you" to one another yet, were talking and he said:
"If you were hit by a bus, I'd really miss you."
I was doubled over laughing.
That's what I want, someone who will still make me laugh when I'm 70+
I think the "uncomfortable silences" reference in Pulp Fiction is another good point, and true that someone you can "shut the f up with" is something worthwhile. That's also rare to experience.
I think most often we have infatuations, that are fleeting.
Some people even marry based on that. I don't think true love is any of the hokey Hallmark stuff we're programmed to believe. True love is a kind of surrender and acceptance of yourself, with someone else. Want, rather than need.
Ditto on the Lauryn Hill, Michael.
"Falling in love" may happen, "Being in love" may not last,
"Loving" has intention, is a decision.
Funny you brought up this subject. I have been thinking about them as part of my "therapy". Having recently broken up with a guy I was living with and whom I thought was my soulmate, person I was madly in-love with and going to spend the rest of my life with...Only one day he dropped the bomb "I'm not happy and I'm moving back to New York".
Like? Is someone you enjoy without any condition.
Love? Is someone you enjoy, have the feeling of affinity to.
In-love? Is someone you love unconditionally. A feeling of wanting to be a better person when you're with them. A feeling of security within yourself and with this person. An interdependent relationship exist.
Hey Derek, love your blogs by the way..
It depends on ones own personal meaning to the phrases.
In my understanding...
In Love usually means.. Your attracted to someone due to their material qualities.. Usually its an infatuation.
Love Means that you are looking deeper than the material and seeing the soul of the person..
And only then can you really love.. because if your not experiencing love on the bases of seeing the soul.. then it is always subject to change. And it can never be a complete love.. because your in love with someones beauty.. or wealth.. or country.. but you dont like another person because he is not a part of the same country.. That is the incompleteness of "in love".
Love is more universal and unconditional.
With love
Srikala
Like = appreciation of another being
Love = unselfish nurturing of another being
In Love = idealization of another being, often prompted by sexual attraction.
I have always liked my wife. I have known her for 46 years and we've been married 43. I still like her. We're friends.
I asked her to marry me when I found that I liked doing things with and for her, and I didn't like it when she wasn't there. (I tried it both ways.) Since that day I have loved her. I still love her.
But I think I fell in love with her as I did things with and for her and she did things with and for me. As we struggled through difficult problems together. As we worked as a team to solve those problems. As we experienced wonderful, thrilling moments together. As I saw her sacrifice and devotion to our children. As I discovered that she seemed to care about me even when I wasn't very care-aboutable. As she expressed gratitude to me for the things I did that supported her and the family. As we shared more and more of life: good and bad. I am still falling in love with her.
If you ever want to know what true love is, watch "The Notebook". True love is when years and years can go by and you still love that person.
This may possibly be just my belief, but I do believe that true love comes once in a lifetime and there is someone for everyone. Whether you open yourself to love a person that much is up to you.
I do believe that people miss out on that one true love!!!
Being in love with someone is just a cop out!!!! How can you love someone and not be in love with them? That is truely a cop out!!!
"Like" is someone who brings donuts.
"Love" is someone who brings you donuts, but it's a Boston Cream.
"In love" is when it's a Boston Creme delivered to the shower
"Like" and "Love" are similar to the Shrek proverbial onion. They are multi-layered in both intensity and difficulty at various times. These onions may appear in our hands out of mid air upon meeting someone, but by & large they are things we are constantly handing out to people in some way.
Being surrounded or immersed in love (or the senses & feelings we associate with it).....that is the onion we hold on to and use to put on our sandwiches and cook into our meals.
I think being in love is a natural emotional and instinctual (read as desire-based)response to the presence of someone who compliments their particular set of emotional and psychological needs. I think the "In Love" sensation is something a person can potentially feel for a number of people at the same time (in as much as there are potentially a number of people who, more or less, can fulfill the prerequisites of a compliments .
Loving a person is a lesser degree of compliment, and can involve a wider range of relationships, such as friends, comrades, family, etc.
Liking is also a lesser degree of compliment in the object of our affection.
The question that often rides behind the opening question is; how do I know when I should commit my self to someone I love, like, or even, am in love with.
For the answer to that question, I'd have to say, I have no idea. Many people say; you will just know, when it's time, but I sense that answer is too simplistic, especially for those who are afraid to commit.
I knew I had found THE person for me, before I even was conscious of loving her. It was a spiritual insight, and the emotions, and desires attendant to such an awareness came flooding in as a response to the insight.
For those who have trouble committing, I wonder if they simply have a wounded relationship with their will (their sense of what they want). Perhaps they have ceased to be comfortable responding to this sense (of what they want) in themselves, and respond to their reason (ideology, or beliefs), or their conscience, or their desires or emotions, instead.
Our will has definitely made mistakes in the past, and thus is something all of us must come to terms with, as we contemplate acting on what we sense we want.
I'm sure there are a host of other emotional issues that can affect commitment impotency, but I'll leave for others to define.
Is it permissible to make a second comment?
There is a great misunderstanding about the nature of love. People don't "fall" in love. That is basically hormonal, infatuation. People "grow" in love. And generally, whatever we spend our energy and time serving is what we grow to love. Being in love is basically a decision. When you decide to serve that person (or thing) with your time and energy, you will grow to love that person (or thing).
To me the difference between Like , Love and In Love,is true honesty with oneself. While I certainly appreciate your loss of value approach, The Desert Island Disc perspective of a partner is where I tend to reside. In my observations, I have concluded that fear is never a good adhesive.
Love is a feeling of the heart.If you have been with a partner and don't have that special glow.
Then you are not in love.Love encompasses all facets of life.
I wrote this lyrics once, and the music too ... I still have to make a hit out of it, though.
I like what I love
I love what I like
but I know beyond that line
I'll find out that I'm in love
I like what I love
I love what I like
I don't want to cross that line
I don't want to loose control
like and love still let you in control ... unlike being in love, where you become a puppet.
someone above said love is a decision-I feel it's a reaction beyond reason and logic and it can't be steered successfully-it has it's own mind!
thats my 2 cents-thanks derek for provoking thought on so many topics
I like this. I like that. People however, I have a love for them or I don't know them. Some people drive me crazy, get on my nerves but I know I still love them. I choose to stay away from some people because my love for them makes me ache when they keep making decesions that hurt themselves or me but it doesn't change the fact that I still love them. I lust what is pleasurable, good looks, good feelings, carnal desires and in love can be found by following lust but in love is more of a bonding thing and it takes time. It also takes a person willing to bend and accept me as I am, just as it creates in me, the desire to bend and accept them as they are. For me, falling in love is a constant day by day, year by year thing. I've been married for 19 years this month and I am still falling in love with my husband.
If you don't like yourself you don't have the capacity to love.
pretty sure it's about loving life...which includes the animals around us, the air we breathe, the company we keep at so many different levels - that's what makes it all work. and everyone's right - it's a mix of need & want & hope & biological urges like the way we respond to chocolate (we want it!) and vegetables (good for you, but ya kinda gotta make yourself eat a lot). loving life & what it brings each day - that rocks.
Devin THEME: "When you no longer have to seek answers outside yourself, you will know the difference."
You Wrote"
I asked a bunch of friends these questions, and got a huge variety of answers:
I think a huge percentage of any of our relationships is geographical (less so now with internet dating) and life-context-related. Think of all the pre-arranged marriages for the last few thousands of years.
"Do you believe in destiny, that even the powers of time can be ordered to a single purpose? The luckiest man who walks on this earth is the one who finds true love."
This line is from one of my all time favorite movies and music scores- 1992 Brahm Stoker's Dracula (The Francis Ford Coppola version) When Dracula looks at Mina and says "I've crossed oceans of time to find you" Now that is true love!
Like is a preference, love is a choice.
In Hebrew, there are three kinds of love. As explained to me by a friend, they are friendship, commitment, and the sexual/sensual expression of love.
I suppose "like" is friendship, "love" is friendship and commitment, and "in-love" is all three.
OUR SOCIETY TENDS TO MAKE THAT QUESTION VERY DIFFICULT, BUT IT'S REALLY PRETTY EASY.
If you start saying the same things at the same time, your in love.
If you smile and nod to the in-laws almost all the time, over time, your in love.
If the other person speaks your language when no one else does, your in love.
If there's not the slightest doubt that you could see yourself married, your in love.
If over time you doubt everyone you date all the time it's either them or you. It's commonly never both, so once 'that' issue is resolved and one can think with greater clarity, the one for you will become more evident.
...Point being, if the 'unnecessary' barriers of doubt are removed, then when you know, you know. Get counseling if necessary and don't have kids no matter what. That's kept me married for over a decade anyway.
NOTE: This is what I found, 'being in love, which, romantically is what matters most, at least to myself. What 'love is' allows more to an opinion than a condition as sometimes how love is defined by most is not the same as 'being in love.'
This is the exact reason I don't usually write "love" songs!!! There are so many other subjects that are sooooo much more interesting to write about. They may take a bit more effort, but does the world really need any more "love" songs?
Best of the three "answers":
“Like is liking someone, but conditionally. Love is liking someone unconditionally. In-love is just glorification of a temporary infatuation. Eventually it becomes love.”
But c'mon Derek....we really want to know what YOU think here!! ;~) oxo
I don't know what I think yet. It's confusing. That's why I'm asking. Loving the replies so far. -- Derek
In Love is the feeling of Twitterpation
When the Heart Beats in
Anticipation
Touching the object of
Affection
Love is the desire to be
Forever next to the one you see
Like is the accepting of thee
A friendly gesture to agree
I like the latter of the 3 responses - and unfortunately sometimes you don't know the true answer until after they have died.
Love you Tracy!
How ironic, my wife and I are celebrating our 8th Anniversary today!
Well, It took me 40 years to figure out what LOVE is.. I think I got it now. LOVE is a mothers hot chicken soup on a cold day. "Like" is how you feel about your peers in school and at the club. "IN LOVE" is infatuation. This would be dreaming of hot sex with your neighbor, (without them knowing) it.
I asked a question like this last week on FB: How do you know when you're in love? How do you when it's gone from a being a crush to being in love?
Got lots of juicy replies from folks.
After much contemplation (I found it a difficult thing to articulate), part of what makes me know that I'm getting serious about someone is that, at night when I sleep, they start appearing in my dreams.
Love works from the same emotion as Fear does, it seems to be the dieect opposite of Fear. That makes Love an emotion/spiritual reaction. It feels GOOD! You are drawn to it, whereas Fear, your reaction is fright/flight. You runs away from it. Thus, you will instinctively know when the Love-bug bites ya!
Great photo!
When you like someone; seeing them makes you smile. When you love someone it's more visceral; you feel a strong need for a hug. When you're in love you start making plans.
I love reading everyones responses!
nothing
they are both illusions
Hi Derek, I love that you posted this and like Jimi also love reading everyone's responses. For me, ultimately Love is a choice, not a feeling.
Love is out of our hands. If you cerebralize about if you in love or not, your not. Love is beyond your control. When people are bound together in ways beyond human, in ways beyond thier own "I,ego,me", that's love. You can seek love, you can need love, you can want love, you can crave love, you can fear love, but you can not make it happen. Like everything else beyond human, you just know when your in love. Your mind may try to muddle things up, but you always know.
I can say that in Portuguese we have different words to describe the several 'states':
Like - "Gostar";
Love - "Amar";
In-love - "Apaixonado";
You may love without liking or being in-love.
You may be in-love without loving but you have to like
You may like without loving or being in-love.
Cheers
Good question : here's what I'm learning.
"in-love" is generally emotional infatuation. Neuro science can pinpoint unusual activity to specific areas of the brain, which re-route decision making processes. Over time this hyper activity returns to normal. This gets many relationships going, but can't ever sustain them.
"love" has little to do with emotions, or at least not the intense bubbly kinds. You love someone when you make a committment to them to stick together through good times and bad. Love over the long haul means a committment to fidelity and kindness in spite of circumstances. Loves seat is in character, not in emotion.
thanks for the opportunity to share.
Love is the like the blues, if you've never had it, you ain't got a clue.
Maybe there's something interesting in looking at "how we get there"?
We FALL in love, while we TAKE a liking to someone. I guess that would imply that loving someone is something that happens to us, while liking someone is something we, to some extent, consciously "decide."
Being IN LOVE would imply that rather than being in good health, deep shit or Timbuktu, one is simply in love. I love that expression in English. In Danish, and most other Scandinavian languages, to my knowledge, two lovebirds would be "forelskede" - meaning "inloved". The French speak of falling (tomber) in love, just like in English, the Germans (yes, there is such a word as love in German = liebe) have it like the Scandinavians, since they're also "inloved" or "verliebt"... but I'm rambling...
Our capacity to love is endless but unfortunately we spend a lot of time in situations, relationships and work that sometimes bars us from elevating that love to the next level.
How do we tap into a greater love may be a follow-up story at a 201 level class? Imagine.
Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy or boast. Love is not proud, rude self seeking or easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. I can't take credit for the definition. It comes from the Holy Bible.
Being In Love calls you to be.
It does not matter who or what the object of your In Love is.
That phrase, "you make me want to be a better man" is indicative of being In Love.
That's why it might also scare women away, because they understand that on some level that's what it means.
Being a Douchebag is easy.
On the other hand, Being Great is impossible without being In Love.
If you can describe love, then you really don't know what it is.
I think there is only love and hate (also known as fear), and they are two sides of the same coin. How many times have people been in love only to break up and begin hating each other? How many of us have heard "I love you but I'm not in love with you?" I think these things happen when people realize they care very deeply about someone but they have also been hurt by them, or they discover that the object of their affection is not perfect in every way and they don't know how to reconcile these conflicting emotions because we as a society have come to believe that love is perfect and pure and painless. So I would say 'in-love' can be a whole variety of things - sometimes it's not love at all but an infatuation. Or 'in-love' is the presence of love without hate, when a relationship has not yet been tainted by human imperfection. True Love with a capital L is loving and hating someone at the same time yet being able to find harmony instead of discord in this delicate, illogical balance.
Donna Larson; I parafrased that very place in a song I wrote for my wife, and gave to her on the day of our wedding, 10 years ago (call me cheap - but hey, she liked it).
I'll just quote verse 3 and the chorus:
In Paul’s letter to the Corinthians
He speaks of the blessings loving lends
And although true love may not seek its own
I will seek you, should you wander too far from home
And as we look inside our hearts tonight
You know we’ll find it’s true
There’s something old, something new
Borrowed And Blue
For me "to like" someone is that you enjoy that person but you wouldn't mind If he/she goes out with someone else.
"to love" is that you enjoy bing with the person, you found her special, are attracted to her, you wouldn't trade her, you want to protect her, you find her beautiful.
"being in love", is the butterflies feelings you have in your stomach when you think about the person. It's a poweful feeling you can't control. You also have 2 opposites: extreme joy or extreme pain. It can't last forever. Soon it will either disappear or transform in "love".
Alot of people needs to be "in love" for saying " I love you". Even if they love the person very much.
But the key to a succesful relationship is being happy with the person you are with without asking you confusing questions.
Im into the beginning of old age. Love grows like a plant, not like a soggy roll of toilet paper. The question for people in love is are "YOU" growing? Or are you holding onto old ideas, desires, and goals that are really out of your reach? Or wishing you'd done differently and wound up doing something stupid? That result being you injure someone who you love, and who loves you?
Like and Love are different volumes in the same song. When you can hear the song but are not distracted by it, that is like. When the volume is turned up to the point that you can't block it out any more, that is love. there is no way to know when you reached that point unless the song started at that volume, or you were diddling with the volume knob.
BAM the song starts and you are singing along.
Or, in the backgroud a familiar tune catches your ear and you don't want to go back to what you are doing. Instead you hum along. But at what point did you notice the song?
In love is two people taking love and directing it at each other.
I just have a quote of mine to share. 'Cause I just can't explain Love. True Love is like staring into the eyes of God.
"Love pours down on us like heavy rain. And, though it soaks us, we still claim to be foresaken."
(c)2002, TommyHeld
"Love" is found in respect,patience, forgiveness and endurance.
"In love" seems to follow the Burger King motto, "Your Way Right Away"
"Like" can be situational and fickle.
All 3 execute our abilities to make powerful decisions that will effect us forever. Choose wisely.
The difference between like, love and romantic love can be found in one of the most beautifully written books on the neuroscience of love called "A General Theory of Love". I came across it while doing research for a cabaret/concert/science lecture on the neuroscience of romantic love called "Brain Chemistry For Lovers". It was hands down my favorite book on the subject - not just going into the science of romantic love, but all forms of love. It changed the way I perceive ALL human relationships and that perception shift then changed my life.
Here's an excerpt from the book:
“From birth to death, love is not just the focus of human experience but also the life force of the mind, determining our moods, stabilizing our bodily rhythms, and changing the structure of our brains. The body’s physiology ensures that relationships determine and fix our identities. Love makes us who we are, and who we can become. In these pages we explain how and why this is so.”
For more info you can read my blog about the book here:
http://www.valeriedaysings.com/a-general-theory-of-love/
1 Corinthians 13:1-13
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body ◙ to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part.
But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Title: The Holy Bible, New King James Version
Edition: Third
Copyright: Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. All rights reserved.
Publisher: Thomas Nelson Publishers
Publisher Location: Nashville, Tennessee
The eternal question, Derek ...
My band was booked into a club on Haight St.
San Francisco in summer 1977 by a young lady
who loved the band. We knew by the end of
the evening we liked each other a lot. We
moved in together within a month and were
married in 1979. We've raised a child, very
successfully, and seen each other through
many life changes. I still like my wife more
than anybody I know. I love her more than I
can imagine, and I feel that I fall in and out
of love with her all the time. I wrote one
song for her - Everything Beautiful Is You -
and I thought that said it all. But now as you
ask, I'm thinking you can't love someone
you don't like, even though you can like
someone and not be in love with them. I'm
convinced that like, love, and In Love all have
to co-exist at some point in a long-term
devoted relationship. Love is a lot like music:
during a life of music love and devotion, you
never learn EVERYTHING about music. So
too, with love. If we had the answer to the
Eternal Question we'd all pick up our toys
and go away due to lack of interest.
Larry Hunter
So for what reason do we have to label these things? All of it is just a choice in any given moment. An interesting point of view that can change every 10 seconds if we choose. As soon as you label anything you limit the infinite possibilities of what it could be or might become (in my 'interesting point of view') and when you put it into a box like that, it's hard to see outside the box. Besides, as you can tell from the above barrage of comments, everyone has their own ideas anyway, so even if you did find your answer, what would that really get you in dog years? I don't think we can "define our way into a relationship" by drawing lines between various concepts, but maybe you were just stirring the pot a bit and giving people something to ponder & I totally missed the point?
"In-love" happens the first few months, to a year or so, before each party learns about the other's crap. Or, they are in denial about the crap that bothers them about the other.
It's no fluke that there aren't sequels to romance novels.
It's a drug. Hence, Rodgers and Hart's "Falling In Love With Love".
True love, whether romantic, platonic, or familial, still supports the person after knowing their crap: INTIMACY.
However, that doesn't necessarily mean being in an active relationship with them.
When it is Love , we all know
We make so many distinctions about love (in love, love, like, etc.), not because one thing really is love and another isn't, but because the varying manifestations of love serve many different purposes. Being in love serves to pull people together. Particularly today, when our "tribes" are so small or non-existent, being in love helps overcome the "stranger factor." Loving serves the purpose of fostering companionship and of bringing out goodwill, and so on. We get confused because we're trying to talk about something all pervasive as if it were present in discrete packages. Imagine standing at the ocean shore with someone who points to a particular wave and says, What kind of wave do you think that one i?. If that other person is a scientist, s/he can tell you a lot about the various waves, but to you and me, it just looks like one big ocean. That's how it is with love.
In Italy "Love" is "Amore"...
"In love" is "Innamorato"...
it's quite different as you can see...
For me it has to do with the quality of 'sound' in the intonation of how one speaks about love.
The deeper the love, the deeper the quality of the 'tones'.
Unconditional love goes the deepest in quality.
...and we are constantly changing our tones along with how we feel.
Love your enemies and bless those who persecute you. Love your neighbor as you would yourself. That covers everyone! Now out of everyone, the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, after carefully weighing everything out, is the one you're in love with. Finally, don't have sex until you're married and become one flesh, that's when you have universal permission. Life is merely a test, and we all want to pass!
"Almost Like Being in Love"
(words & music by Lerner & Loewe)
What a day this has been
What a rare mood I’m in
Why, it’s almost like being in love
There’s a smile on my face
For the whole human race
Why, it’s almost like being in love
All the music of life seems to be
Like a bell that is ringing for me
And from the way that I feel
When that bell starts to peal
I would swear I was falling
I could swear I was falling
It’s almost like being in love
Nat King Cole tribute
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy17lE30lnw
thanks for the clear definition of love. I love alot of people and have questioned being in love with others. Time to jump in with both feet.
i think like and love are one sided. in love is an interaction: being in the energy of love.
Being "in love" means you fancy the pants off them as well as "love" them. And "to love" is an action, not just a feeling. That's how it feels to me.
Believe me, you must LIKE the person you LOVE or are IN-LOVE with. In-Love is a very fleeting emotion that might last 2 to 3 mos. tops. After that time you must LIKE the person in order for LOVE to flourish and grow.
Derek,
Like: If I like someone, I enjoy their company. I am attracted to certain characteristics they possess & usually find them amusing & compatible people to be around.
Love: is what I feel for my family, my parents, my siblings, and hope to eventually feel for my future spouse. It is not always compatible with 'like'. I believe it is perfectly possible to love someone deeply, yet not always like them. Love forgives.
In Love: That half-crazed attraction to someone (I read somewhere that people who have recently fallen 'in love' share many of the same characteristics as those with OCD). I don't think it has to be mutual, and it doesn't always last. If the relationship does continue, you'd better darn well hope that it turns into love.
Love is defined by Merriam-Webster as “A deep and tender feeling of affection for or attachment or devotion to a person." I think that liking something or someone has a lot of similar traits, whereas, being in love with someone, on the other hand, involves the same feelings as love, but includes a sexual attraction or a “head over heels” component as well – and therein lies the difference between them. In short, we love our family members and dear friends, but we are in love with our spouses and partners.
I think that 'in love'is a kind of spiritual realization that occurs because you are so focused on the one you love that you have practically no attention left over for your ego. The ecstasy we feel in love is really a result of completely relaxing the usual self-attention that a human is ordinarily obsessed with, in favor of the 'selfless' obsession with the one we love.
It doesn't usually last that long, though, so people seldom recognize what is really happening and then are left with just a longing for the state to return, which it does, if you are lucky.
But as a species we recognize its importance as can be seen by the deference often shown to a couple 'in love' but that, otherwise, is reserved only for babies, madmen and the clergy.
'Like' is like the training wheels for love.
And 'love' is , as everybody knows, the answer. It obviates the question.
Well I like what Thich Nhat Hahn says about love, that love is understanding. So when we are in love, we are in understanding Being "in-love" for me would have to include sexual understanding. It means, "we understand each other! Even, sexually!" I don't think being "in-love" can be a one way thing. That's something else, that's infatuation,or it's one way understanding, which must be pretty lonely and painful. "Love" is understanding. I tell my friends, "I love you" all the time, and what it really means I guess is, "I trust you." Because I like everyone. I like life. I mean, some people are really assholes, but I even like assholes in a way. I find them interesting and curious. Like just means "I'm interested in a curious way." Like means "staring at you entertains me. Listening to you speak entertains me. Doing this or that around you entertains me." For mutual love, there must be trust.
I like beer
I love chocolate
I am in love with anyone who will provide me with both.
Well, I do know this:
A LOVE OBJECT is one you desire. I have had lots of these simply because, as an artist, I need a focus to wrap scenes and songs around. Not a bad gift to give anyone, and besides, I am not a stalker. Think of courtly love and the minstrel.
A LOVER is someone who also LOVES YOU.
Liking and love? The difference is endurance.
People tend to use "love" quite freely. I'm one of the offenders.
Like is how I feel about casual acquaintences that I would spend time with at a party, standing in line, the cashiers at the supermarket, anyone who smiles at me, etc.
Love is all encompassing. I love my friends, my cat, my children and my husband; not necessarily in that order. I care deeply about all of them, but in different ways. I love my cat because he's sweet and soft. I love my friends because they're "beautiful people." We look out for one another and help out when we're needed. My kids, well, those are the ones you love just because they're your kids. It's sometimes a chore, but it's always there. I love my husband because he's everything to me.
Being in-love is that first rush of emotion when you meet that special "someone," and the next one and the next one. It's great while it lasts, but usually once you get to know a person, warts and all, the glow goes away and so does the person.
Like? many formats for the phrase just as there is for love, you may love your close friends or how someone performs or basically acts in life & treats others, where like can be a little more dense! "In Love" to me is completely different, as you mentioned Derek if someone died you were in love with then you too would want to die, another person remarked that they would catch a bullet for someone they are in love with, I agree with both of you! I waited my whole life to actually fall in love, its amazing, unconditional & can easily be everlasting if with the right person who feels the same way giving back the same feelings, everything in life becomes so much more pleasant to deal with, I truly wish for everyone to experience such
Like is intellectual.
Love is emotional.
In Love is chemical.
what I don't understand is how you get like 120 posts to your blog every time you post something...and it doesn't even have to be something music related...that's just crazy to me!
"Love is the principal of existence, and life's only end" - Benjamin Disraeli
In love, in like, and whatever are moot classifications. Love just is.
By definition, Love is a living spirit that is created between two people. It is as alive as you and I. And can be killed just as easily. This spirit is connected God, who is a spirit being of pure 100% Love. It is reflected in the things you do and say and how you think.
Love is not an emotion, as emotion is a physical response to thought patterns regarding circumstance and imagination. Love, when it is real, just is. Love just is. The only thing you can do with Love is give it via actions and thought, and receive it through grace.
Love just is.
And it is the reason we are alive, just in case you are looking for some kind of meaning in your life...
Love just is.
Finding a partner isn't about "Can I live with this person forever?" its "Can I live WITHOUT this person?"
For me there is fear or love. The more fear I let go of the more in love I live.
Yesterday I went to my son's football game. The first football game I've EVER been to. I never wanted him to play football because I was so afraid he'd get hurt. When the Star Spangled Banner was being sung, I just looked at my son, instead of the flag and allowed the love in my heart to erupt and the tears of joy to flow. It was amazing!
I think all relationships can move through the levels of "like, love, and in love" depending on where we are with our own heart awakening. In my early mothering I thought I loved my kids but in honesty, my love was conditional. I am now growing into a deeper level of unconditional love for myself, my children, and others. The more fear I let go of, the more love I can enjoy.
Fun to read the broad array of views. I think "like," "love" and "in-love" call out for definition, but always evade it. Only poetry, song and metaphorical language--and actual experience--can approach the matter.
My grandfather, when he was 86 and wracked by arthritis, climbed with great effort and pain into the hospital bed he had rented for my grandmother, who had been silenced and stilled by a series of strokes, but was still very much alive to him. This had been a rather gruff man, a perfect accountant for a Dickens novel, who rarely said "I love you," but he'd grown softer (riper?) as he aged.
Their employee and loving "companion" found my grandfather lying next to my grandmother, singing her love songs in a gravelly voice. It was Valentine's Day. Grandfather had succeeded in narrowing down what really mattered to him, and at the top of the list was "the most wonderful gal in the world" who had shown the great patience to live her life with this man and, like waves against the shore, to smooth all his ragged edges.
As Jodi Foster said in "Contact" when she couldn't express what she saw or felt, "They should've sent a poet."
I will let the poet speak for I'm too inadequate to express how I feel about this subject.
I leave it to Elizabeth Barrett Browning:
How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death."
love is an action, in-love is a potentially dangerous, but pleasant feeling, like is not worth a definition.
I agree with that second statement.
“Like is liking someone, but conditionally. Love is liking someone unconditionally. In-love is just glorification of a temporary infatuation. Eventually it becomes love.”
That's exactly how I feel about it. Couldn't say it better.
I do ponder this a lot, especially since most of my songs, are love songs :-D
"Like" seems to ebb and flow and is almost never permanent. For example, I sure don't like all the same kinds of music I did 35 years ago.
Love is more of a rock, but is much different than "in-love". This is hard to put into words, but I "love" some of the musicians I've played with, somewhat like the love I would share with a family member. My musical brothers, so to speak.
"In-Love" is an entirely different matter my friends! Much more complicated in a good way. There's a line from an old Rod Stewart song, "you're my lover, you're my best friend". The "best friend" thing is a really important element of being "in-love". You might not "like" some of the things about your lover, and you might not even "love" some things about your lover, but if you are "in-love", minor differences are not important. All I know for sure is that if I don't talk to the person I'm in love with at least once a day, things just don't feel right.
There's a quote I like on the subject, sometimes attributed to Willie Nelson....
"Most folks are with someone they are not in love with, and that's what fills up the juke boxes!"
To give of myself with no regards or reward for myself. That to me is love. For the sheer joy of helping someone else.
When I am in love I obessively think of new ways to do this.
My wife lost her mother when she was 20. We were talking about this several months back and she said, "After my mother died, nothing in life was ever as good as it could be. Don’t get me wrong, things are good and even great, but when something great happens to you, the first person you want to share it with is your mother.”
That really started me thinking about this topic. So I wrote some quick thoughts on it, what is love to you?.
I know I'm in love with my wife because I simply cannot imagine a future without her in it. Without her, nothing would ever be as good as it could be, and would be hard to even justify doing. With that said, I am also a recovered alcoholic and at one point in my life could not possibly wrap my head around a future without alcohol, but that's coming true and through hard work learned how to do that. So I know anything is possible.
Hello Derek!
The differences between like, love and in love don't much matter.
Try moving your center of attn from the head down to the heart so you can experience like, love, in love, and being love all at the same time, as much as possible. Much more fun!
hmmmmmmmm liking = is happy to be around someone
loving= is being inspired, excited and really happy to be around someone.....and being there for them when its not so fun to be around them!
'in love'= is all of the above AND feeling, thinking, sensing, intuiting that this person may be the one who you will mutually discover they want to be with you till the end.. what ever comes.. the angst only appears when you are wrong... those who find it are blessed.... it hasn't come to me ....yet.. : )
Some one once told me that if a mam and woman feelreally good together, they are comfortable like that old pair of slippers you just can't throw out. I am
lucky with my old slippers ! Also
love is a combination of eternal
soul connection,passion and good friendship.
It seems only ten percent of our communication is verbal. I find this to be true so whether we like or love or love in that special way,we click on many
levels as in playing music together. Anyone ever research
how many love songs have been written since the invention of the radio or even since some century way back ?
Being "In Love" is like a magic door suddenly appearing in a wall.
While it's open (while you're still "in love") you feel a strong urge to do things that please that person, delight in their good side, excuse their faults, learn what makes them tick, encourage their spirits.
If you're smart, you'll learn the key things: generosity, tolerance, understanding. And you'll choose to stick to them when the magic disappears.
Because the door will close sometime, and that's when you'll find out which side of the door you're on. If you both choose generosity, tolerance and understanding, you'll find you're still in some kind of magic space. That's love.
And if you truly understand how that works, you don't actually need the magic door of being "in love". It's possible to walk straight through the wall. When you know there's someone you want to meet on the other side, it just works.
There are ultimately two kinds of feelings. Love and fear.
So there is only one kind of love.
the words in-love, like, ... have been misused as ways to describe relationships or the amount of involvement in a relationship one wants to be in rather than a feeling
Loving someone doesn't necessarly mean that we can or want to have a relationship with that one. So we might say "I like" but this is still describing love (outward energy)
In-love is most always used to express a fear based feeling, with the idea of "I will die if he/she doesn't want to be with me". Butterflies in the stomach,so often associated with being in-love, are simply the symbol of fear of being rejected, which is most always interpreted as dying by the mind (you feel the same when skydiving, going on stage, ...)
99% of love songs are actually fear songs
in Portuguese you have
gostar -> to like
adorar -> to love
amar -> to be in-love
These three emotional states come from different degrees of comfort. The more comfort you feel with someone, the more you love.
I like that this subject put the brains to work. I would bet many of the people responding learned a bit more about themselves.......
Illhave to agree with post number 7... love grows where nobody knows and nobody knows.....like.. meeeee
i can love a person have sex for a year and still not be "in love" like i am with my main girlfriend
you can times that by 3 or 4 actually.. teh in love is a bond when you go through experiences indigenous to the 2 of you..people get weird when you say i love you too fast...(??) hey ya might feel like that but yes mostpeople get that mixed up for the normal im in love -with- you- and -want -to- own -you type of relationship....
but then again im a youngie when it comes to the 60's im only 49 but enjoyed some of the leftover things that era brought about..i can honestly say i love everyne ive ever been intimate with...but then again im one of those call the next day kinda guys...or same night to say what a wonderful time...must have been the 2000 lsd trips tween 74 and 2000 that made the impression on me- todays youth will never feel like that. it goes against the government programming
I think Derek is in love.
Linnea
A one sentence answear of how it can be..
Like is when you care and enjoy beeing with someone.
Love is when you are able do sacrifice and offer something for the person/thing.
Being in-love is when you can't be without him/her/that in that.
Love is a figment of your imagination. It is only there to make you feel better and give you a false sense of security. Love will ruin your band, take you away from your guitar, force you to play the parent/child game. Love is an energy vacuum that drains everything you allow it to drain. It can and will take your very soul and crush it along with all your dreams for your life. It does come in a very tempting package though. Nobody seems to love anybody but themselves, and most love relationships reflect this. If you can't decide if you are in love or not, you are not. If you think you are in love better be sure the other person is too, or again, you are not. If you want unconditional love, don't look to another human for that, we are incapable of anything but talking about that. We only love ourselves, we are selfish and liars. We pretend to love when we don't. We hug people we hate, and we smile when we want to punch them so that we can further our own agendas. It's called capitalism. I love you all.
jQ
hmmmmm then again...the other way of looking at it is......
there is LOVE... which is an openness to the ALL... underlying energy of the universe... that which IS
and there is FEAR... which is a resistance to this energy LOVE and creates all other negative emotions...
those we love make it easy to experience LOVE
those we are 'in love' with inspire an intense experience of both...
Love is a way of life.
LIKE...is when you can tolerate the person...but only to the point that they do not infringe on your personal comfort or finances.
LOVE...is when you like the person...allow them to infringe on your personal comfort and sometimes finances...but are careful not to return the infringement.
IN LOVE...is when you don't even care if you like them or love them...you want to be one with them in every way...whether they put the toilet roll on over or under...whether they can cook or not...whether they can balance the check book or not...whether they use all of the towels in the bathroom and you don't notice until you're already in the shower...or even if they don't wash their hands after they...well...you know. Being IN LOVE...unless preceded by LIKE and then LOVE...is usually a dismal failure (long term.)
I doubt that you can really define any rules, tricks or methods about this stuff, but your guidelines are a fine attempt at putting some order into the chaos. In my case.... proposed at about 21/2 - 3 weeks... done 35 years so far. Yeah, you really have to like someone! One of these days maybe I'll try writing a love song.
Love? If you do not have the balance of being out of love then you are not truly in love.
I am with the woman I like, love, dislike, and at times hate. there for, I believe - I am in a balanced in love real life relationship.
EZL
I'm looking forward to reading the comments. Being "in love" has come for me to mean what the words literally say: love is a realm or a state, and the beloved and I are 'in it' together. There are personal aspects, but there are beyond-personal aspects, too.
The women I know all have great qualities, but they have different sets of great qualities. When the personal chemistry is good, and I want, not just sex or company, but to 'be with' a woman, I love her.
In the right relationship, even if you only like each other, the love flows.
In my experience, loving someone has mostly to do with me and how I feel around, or in contact with them. I think overall it's a fairly selfish state of mind, really. If one is completely comfortable around someone, it's very easy to love being in their company.
In a truly loving relationship, both parties are completely free and open to be who and what they are, without restraint, worry of scrutiny, and judgment. So, with that is an inherent gauge wherein the more easy you can be with someone, the more easily you can love them.
Romantically speaking, if I can sit close to someone, hold their hand or simply cuddle - in easy, comfortable silence - then I think I'm in love.
Love is a thoughtfull and concious decision. Love is NOT a feeling by which i am overwhelmed.
Like is a peaceful day
Love is a peaceful day floating on the water
In love is a peaceful day floating on the water with chocolate!
this is all very good and very interesting. love means many things to people. I love reading them and it certainly makes me think about it.
I wrote the line "Love is all you need to know. The harder you love the stronger you grow" let me know if i can send you this song
Some of us are growing and changing so much that what we like and love in others changes as we grow.
funny enough, in most languages i can think of the word love has vowels resonating in the stomach (amore, amour, love, amor, ai, etc) except in german it's called "liebe" - resonating in the head...
"LIKE" IS A NICE FEELING YOU HAVE FOR FRIENDS, RELITIVES, PETS, THINGS BUT IF NECESSARY YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT THEM.
"LOVE" WHEN YOU LOVE THERE IS NO END TO IT. IT IS FOREVER, BUT WHEN LOST PART OF YOU DIES. THE LOVE DOES NOT!
There comes a time when love becomes as much a decision as a feeling. This doesn't weaken, rather making it real. Just ask any couple who has a bad day.
Rember 'Love is more than the sum of what you say'.
Paul stride
Now you going to ask the question I have to give you a visual answer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U6yrEQt
and then put your comment there as well. I'd be honored
DANG...it was the wrong link:
Here's the right one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U6yrEQtEjw
Now your comments written there too in this regard wouldn't hurt.
interesting question. I've thought about it a lot the last few months, and am always drawn to the word "compel" - what compels me about a person.
I am sure I misuse each of those phrases a lot. Fundamentally, they are all heart connections. But, there are friends I really like but don't necessarily spend time with or invest in very much...but I still have affection for. Then, there are riends and family I love - and as a result, I am compelled to make them a part of my life on a daily or regular basis....that I feel a deeper connection to than the people I merely like. And my "in love" status is an innate awareness about one particular, special person who holds a unique place in my heart, like no other person.
Your "what if they died" is a very good measurement. You could go even more striking and ask,
"Would I kill for them?" "Would I die for them?" Now this would shed light on your original idea of what if they died. Sometimes these answers tell us more about ourselves than about the degree of connection to another person. People grieve quite differently than others as well as process emotions. Some do actually die, some take 10 years to come out of depression, some do it in a year, some are deeply philosophical and have experienced their death long before they died and the ultimate action has less punch to it. What about the sociopath? When the person they love dies maybe they give up Arbys for a day. Love, Hate and all of the middling experiences are chemical processes and when mankind knows more about the brain process we will be able to deal with these distinctions more accurately. The study of the chemistry of depression might be a more telling clarification of the death of a loved one.
But in music these things can be torrential in power. I experienced a terrible break up with a girl one time and there was a piece of music that was quite deep that I played during the sorrow. I have long since gotten over the experience but when I play the piece about 79% of the intensity of the emotion of that time comes back like an oceans wave. With most every deep trauma I have had in life (as well as many ecstasies)
There is usually a musical piece attached that grows in intensity over time. When you write music you can only hope that your listener will place their experiences side by side with your music.
“Like” is a smile
“Love” is a smile, a frown and a commitment
“In Love” is a smile, a racing heart, a little confusion and a desire to please
When you like someone you admire certain traits in them be it ones that you share or ones that you admire,you may or may not find them physically attractive,trust is still under negotiation at this point.
When you love someone your willing to invest more time with them,its a relationship based on mutual trust and dependence,personally i like this one the best,you might still want to sleep with them but your probably not willing to risk fucking things up.
When your in love your fairly blind to the persons faults,you idealise them kind of like having a drug addiction you feel withdrawl symptoms when they are not around.This usually fades with time and if your lucky you go back to stage two.Sorry not very romantic
http://spartacusjones.blogspot.com/2009/02/all-ya-need-is-love.html
It changes as you age. When you've been monogamous for 25 years, "in love" doesn't mean much. The most intense love I've ever felt was when my daughter was born.
Love is a choice. You choose to care about another person with your free will. It is a pleasure when they love you back. But they won't always. But they do always need to know that you are going to stay with them... loving them. So they can feel secure. Love is not for the weak of will. Love endures forever. If it doesn't, it's not love. Friendship, family, camaraderie, companionship, all incorporates this same principle. Everything else isn't worth the effort. Love people. Love everyone. Or don't. You will begin to find there is no middle ground.
I think my grandfather Sammy Fain said it best when he co-wrote "Love is a many splendored thing"
Love is a many-splendored thing,
It's the April rose that only grows in the early spring,
Love is nature's way of giving a reason to be living,
The golden crown that makes a man a king.
Once on a high and windy hill,
In the morning mist two lovers kissed and the world stood still,
Then your fingers touched my silent heart and taught it how to sing,
Yes, true love's a many-splendored thing.
From: @dontBApusateri
Sent: Oct 6, 2009 6:07p
@sivers like is and emotion. Often can change back and forth. Love is the feeling of sacrifice when their happiness comes before yours. ...
sent via UberTwitter in reply to @sivers
On Twitter: http://twitter.com/dontBApusateri/status/4667421024
Liking Loving and in love Well all 3 to me is great!! I am a pastor's wife and so 3 in one is the Father Son and Holy Spirit!!! I write Christian songs!!!! I have a song I love you for who you are here are my lyrics!!!
I LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE
People love each other in many ways Years months and even days But the longest love is forever here Fulfilling my unwanted tears CHOURS: I love you for who you are Where ever you go you’re a shinning star People love you near & far You enlighten me I love you for who you are Your love is great it fills my being It makes me feel just like a queen We must hold on to this one thing Our love is strong so let us sing CHORUS: Every one learns to love instead of hate Through my deep love I don’t hesitate Loving you is such an easy case I can keep up with your even pace CHORUS:
I like to be in love
And would love to like you
But sometimes I just love you
I have loved a lot of people both past and present! I just hope that they have all loved me, and at least still have some love for me! lol
Hello,
this is a huge subject. I'm going to add some thoughts...
I read in a book that there are many kinds of soulmates in one's lifetime. There's the friend soulmate: that perfect perfect friend. It can be of same or opposite sex. If the latter you will wonder why you are not attracted to each other. ..or if you gave it a go, you wonder why that part ain't shooting stars.
there's the sex soulmate. Every aspect of the passion , seduction and carnal bliss was really heaven - and it always will be.
..And you wonder why the character aspects are so clashing and everything else is so not working.
There's the working soulmate...the spiritual soulmate.
And then there is THE ONE - and there might be more than one- which can fill your soul in all or almost all the main aspect of your soul,flesh,companionship..etc
Thinking that the day you'll find this ONE is the day you'll be truly happy is an unhealthy
mental attitude. If you are set this way, the day you ll meet him/her - yes it will be heaven for a while - but also the beginning of the end. you have set love as a mean to an end. And an end is what you will get.
Love is an ongoing process, it gets reacher and deeper, but itis not the means to an end.
The Thrill of the beginning of love, can be love or just a thrill. At the beginning you don t know each other really. It is a blank canvas . If you are blinded by love you will grow every illusion/delusion you have about love into the other person , into each other, denying every flat note- so to speak.
One day you'll wake up in a maze of resentment or just next to a stranger.
- If you are Awaken by love, you will find yourself thrilled and curious to know who the other person really is . You'll be excited to learn and even change. You will see defects and shortcomings both in them and in you. You will learn to turn anger into compassion- for example- You will want to make yourself better. You will learn to receive or give more - ( we all tend to be a bit more one than the other). you will be in the process of love. You got to be wanting to be a gardener..planting seeds, turning the earth...not just sit there in a pretty garden..
..And if you have ever wondered:
does the passion fade with time?
The answer is : No! Not if you let it.
Passion is part of love and it DOES HAVE its growing aspects.
Intimacy has no limits folks. With communication,love,trust,self awareness ....the tools of love.. passion does not need to fade.
It's your fear, your craving for comfort, your not wanting to keep up with imagination and play that will make it fade.
If you ask yourself :
am I in love ?
..maybe the question is more
What Am I afraid of ?
Love is a teacher. the greatest toughest teacher. It is worth EVERY lesson.
If you are afraid to be hurt, to be left, not to be loved back, that you re not good enough that it won t work....
well it might. You might be awaken by love,and the other blinded.
you can never be certain, most especially in the beginning.
you can be certain of this :
If you are moved by fear, and not by love.
You will never find it.
You will never know it.
you will be missing out on the discovery of the foundation of life.
That includes fear of leaving a relationship
and or fear of opening up to one, or taking a step further.
It may take a big heartache. It may take loosing control, and loosing your head.
Those are/might be the lessons for your maturity and growth.
You might feel like dying,but maybe that's just what you need to learn ( ..and no. You wont die! - a " Love dying"/heartbrake experience is more about your past childhood traumas than the person whom you love/d and lost - it is in you emotional-memory bank which is attached to your love behaviors )
Finally ,about love ( this one is for the boys)
quoting Paul Newman ( the hottest dude in his time) about loving his Love& wife :
" Why going out for fast food, when I have stake at home?"
(..I sayd it was for the boys)
Ciao
Petra W
Love to me is when you can be together everyday and loving it, instead of feeling you wish you had more space.
One "likes" someone when there's empathy, similarity, harmony. "Love" can be universal (I "love" everyone, but I don't necessarily want to hang out with many of those ppl I genuinely do "love"...). "In Love" means intimate love, special love. There's usually attachment involved, so there's dependence. I can't be happy if that person isn't around or going to be around soon. But there is often - not always - special empathy and harmony, also.
WOW you sure got people talking here!
I was just going to say YES, we do have the same words / distiction in Danish and then I noticed a funny thing in my own language that I had never thought about before....but it kind of says it all (translated):
LOVE = elske
IN LOVE = forelsket ...but translated to english it actually means TOO LOVED!
I love that! LOL
And here is why every culture has music and art -- because, at best, language is just a marker buoy in a vast ocean of feeling. You can love your spouse, AND your parents, AND your dog, AND chocolate -- four different feelings, one lousy word to describe them all. But music hits the feeling right on the head. Those interested in exploring this more fully should read Suzanne Langer, "Philosophy in a New Key".
Good point John! ONE lousy word for it all and therefore so overused...too loved!?
Very simple:
1.LOVE if you can say to each other "i love you sooooo very much", and truly mean it a 100%, then it's love.
2. LIKE If you say "you're so cool", you like them.
3. IN-LOVE If you say "why didn't you call me yesterday?" you're hopelessly in love..
My son recently told me he was getting married. I was happy for him and I like the woman he's chosen. I wanted to say something more than what my father told me "Good Luck!"
It started me thinking... One thing I know for sure: marriages end, relationships end, but love lasts. My new CD "Originals" has at least one song about that. It'll be out in November.
Every attempt I make at a description of "love" feels too trivial.
Is it when you know you could not feel luckier than to be having a candlelit dinner with this person? Is it that sadness you feel when they are gone?
Is it the ecstasy of lovemaking?
Love has fooled me before. Yet I have never doubted my feelings of love.
I like how you make me think
I love my chickens and ducks
I'm in love with my husband
Like,
is when you make the effort of creating time or things to do together. Liked to be glued together. Sometimes we can't choose
Love,
is real laughing
Your Love
reciprocating
intimidating
reciprocating
and doing a better job of it than you.
In love,
is when you go above and beyond and do as many of all those little things that mean so much to her.
Those things that mean so much.
You mean so much.
She means so much.
One last touch, One more touch.
In love is also waking and
just watching her sleep in awe knowing that your life is
so much better with her there.
knowing that your life is
so much better with her there.
knowing that your life is
so much better with her there.
with her there.
with her there.
with her there.
with her there.
That is a question that can only be answered by you! We each are unique and feel differently about those words because it's based on what's inside each individuals mind.There are many common grounds but none are identical. Science has proven that our sense of smell defines the attraction between a man and woman. The reasoning capabilities that we have measure the possibilities of the relationship and rationalize the odds and whether this can succeed. Then all the words and their meanings in our minds take over.The various parts of our brain light up and do their job and we are off and running. This thinking may not sound romantic but if we understand many of these things,we don't have to hurt so badly during the entire process. I know this is probably not what you or any one wants to hear, but there it is. Good sniffing.
Cool thought,,, Like covers all phases of love,love covers all phases of love,and in love only your heart can explain and give you the answer your lookin for How do you know the difference i think each phase is a step to Love and when you get there you will know ......(smile) S.Dee
uh...time to consult Joseph Campbell...Eros, Mythos...& be present...and kiss yo uh huh good-bye
It's all in the eyes, which express the soul.
Like: there's a sparkle and some flashes at times.. sparkle starts in the heart and moves upward into unhideable smiling eyes
In-love: sparkle turns to flare in danger of overheating and burning out with much heart pumping involved. If eyes throughly engaged, could last forever.
Love: steady, low heat burning intensity at times but adjusts to maintain a steady level of heat, the kind that never goes out and enwraps the intended in a web of safety, kindness, humor, intelligence, all seen and experienced through the heart-eye connection. The eyes don't lie.
L oose-leaf
I nvitations
K ites
E asy
L yric
O verflowing
V ital
E ternal
I llegible &
N eat
L onging
O ral
V alentine
E lusive
here is a slightly corny song written for a friends wedding. you can dowload the mp3 on the above link. it was originally meant to be a traveling wilburys type song but we later recorded it as a dream-pop style.
Plain, Simple Love
plain simple love, plain simple love, plain simple love.
Isn’t shiny, like a brand new car,
doesn’t glitter, like a falling star,
but it’s still there when the times get tough,
and it knows when enough’s enough,
it makes us laugh, makes us cry,
it’s with us when we’re born and when we die...
plain simple love, plain simple love, plain simple love.
it was there the day I said “I do”,
was loving me and it was loving you,
no need to dress it up to look the part,
its beauty’s really in the heart,
you might be rich, might be poor,
but it’s love that we’re all looking for...
plain simple love, plain simple love, plain simple love.
it makes us friends and makes us family,
it ends our loneliness, our misery,
you can see it in a simple smile,
won’t mind waiting, if you take a while,
plain simple love.
knows when to pick up the phone and ring,
knows when you don’t need to say a thing,
it can’t stand rumours, can’t stand lies,
and it’s not too proud to apologise
it can’t be bought, there’s no price
but you can share it, that’s the best advice...
plain simple love, plain simple love, plain simple love.
you can feel it like a pure white dove,
flowing through us from the Lord above.
plain simple love.
plain simple love, plain simple love,
plain simple love, plain simple love, plain simple love.
Hi Derek,
Good question to ponder...I can relate to what the person said about "if the person you like died, etc." That was a good answer. I decided to reflect on it before I answered and I did and here is what I came up with...People you like are everyday people in your life that you tolerate and are cordial to. You wouldn't necessarily invite them to your parties, wedding, etc.. People you love are people you love to be around, spend time with, invite to things, people you would ask you to help you move or pick you up at the airport but you do not have to see them every day. And finally people you are in-love with are people you want to be around all the time and you don’t always need a reason. You are so comfortable together that at times you can just be silent with each other. You can speak telepathically with these people. And to me this in-love involves more than your romantic/intimate partner. Because for instance, I am in-love with my family members. I feel so bonded to them. In-love to me means they are intertwined with the love you have for yourself. They are a part of you and you need them for your own well-being and vice-versa. Thanks for such a great question. It also prompted me to mentally divide the people in my life into these 3 categories and reflecting on these mental lists gave me great insight to who I am. Cheers!
whats is love-better then hate and
much better then death.
its the one thing
Hi Derek,
Your question is very interesting.
I belive that the three terms as they relate to relationships can be defined as follows:
"Like" is an emotion that one has when he/she is fond of someone, for example, because the person is polite, gentle or kind; "Love" involves a more passionate feeling for someone or a particular group of people, which may require some type of commitment to the relationship or sacrifice. For example, I understand that the biblical perspective of love declares that "God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son, (Christ). . ." and plus it asserts that "God (himself) is Love"- - it follows then that God is the originator of Love, i.e. what sacred Love is all about; and similarly, Bible declares the essence of "Agape" love, sucn as the brotherly love between friends and strangers and even enemies, for whom Christians are suppposed to show the truly sincere love in perfection, as necessary, when we have opportunity to interact with such persons. Finally, I think that the concept of being "In-Love" may not always necessarily have to include the pysically intimate relationship. As for some people, such as Catholic priests or nuns or even Christian singles who have committed to loving God as their ultimate lovers may truly be in-love with the Amighty God and consider themselves as the Bride of Christ (the coming King, as they await, according to the bible teaching, for the Second Coming of Christ).
Thank you for the oppportunity to share my idea.
In love, it's when you dont have to say your sorry... I quote..!
Great Blog! ...thanks Derek!
When I occasionally hear of women falling in love with incarcerated men, I often doubt the truth and can't believe how that would be possible. But, when you're in love, you are indeed IN LOVE and this covers everyone, including the most heinous criminals.
"Like", "Love", "In love" are different degrees of emotion. To "Be Love", now that's something completely different ;-)
Seems to me like the explanations above are pretty accurate. I suppose on occasions we're able to give "unconditional love"...but as human beings that's extremely hard (at least for me to do)...not that I couldn't do it...but I think that is one things that distinguishes many human beings from God...I believe that God is more likely to have unconditional love than human beings. I do think that if you "like," "love," or are even "in-love," most people have an "end to their rope" what they'll allow another relationship before re-evaluating it. I tend to think that "unconditional love" is more divine than human...tho I suppose there are "conditions" that I could be wrong
...
As long as I am the owner of an onboard testosterone factory, I will always LIKE women.
When I met my wife years ago, I fell IN LOVE with her--my heart literally pounded in my chest with this overwhelming warm rush of emotion and a desire just to hold her.
After several years of together going through the magnificent beauty and agonizing hell of living a life, I LOVE her so much--the kind of love that sees the flaws and weaknesses, the good and the awful, and still finds me hoping that I will share the rest of this hideous and beautiful life with her till the end. And in the seemingly cryptic words of my Mom, "when you fall in love, you just know..."
Thanks for starting these great conversations, Derek. I appreciate you.
OK Derek this is growing into? where are you today? when will you be there?:{-)
Love is absolute, you either love or you don't, time can only tell if you truly love.
For me, all of these terms are on a spectrum that has to do with a concept of resonance. (Like Tobias suggests with the german term "liebe.)"
Since I believe that resonance waves are the fundamental "force" in the universe, the way we are attracted to each other is based on many things are below our level of consciousness. As Schopenhauer proposed, we are attracted to opposites [or complementary resonances], perhaps from a naturalistic, selective mechanism based on smell, subliminal physical characteristics, background, etc.
But once we have finished the procreation part much of the success of long term relationships depends on our ability to change and come to a place of harmony (or cooking) that we have in common with our partners. If we share physical, mental and spiritual sensibilities, then the bond, I think, feels like love and comes with the benefits of a loyalty that can go to giving one's life for the other. But it requires both a willingness to change, communicate and be aware of the small vibrations of the day that make up our existence.
But I have had a sensation that we could actually come to love anyone, say, if we were on a desert island together. As you learn more about others, it is just a matter of listening to their frequencies. If they don't resonate we have the luxury of deciding not to spend time with them or to communicate and therefore increase the resonance. In that regard I have sometimes wondered how "prisoner syndrome" affects humans so that the captor and captive come to have some empathy for each other.
When I ride on the subway in NYC, I sometimes look around with that sense of love and many times I get a smile in return. Then I am reminded of the love of my life.
I love you all.
I think you left off the very important "like like."
I like people.
I like like crushes.
I love friends & family.
"In love" is trickier. It happens with romantic partners. I can't really describe it but I know when it happens. Something about opening up my heart and trusting another's love possibly. Not sure if that's a good thing, but it sure is wonderful when it happens.
"LOVE" is such an overused word. To me it is so overused it has become a reactive word. Sort of like eating a sweet pie or cake. The first couple of bites make your mouth fall in "LOVE" with the taste and buy the time you get to the last bite the taste has diminished. My belief is that you never have to use the word "LOVE" because if you "LOVE" someone, they know you "LOVE" them by how you treat them. Talk is cheap, Actions speak louder than words and last forever. If you do or think you "LOVE" someone just go ahead and show them and they will show their "LOVE" for you.
Love and marriage is a gift from God.
sorry, too much of a rush to do my usual 'study the post and scan the responses' - this mave have been added to the discussion already...
...my answer is simple
- the difference between them is directly proportional to the time invested or emotion attached -
My personal feeling is when you obsess about these things, it makes relationships very complicated. Just follow your gut, go out with people you like, and see what happens. Don't be afraid to say "I love you", but don't force it either - let things develop at their own natural pace.
"In love" is a feeling which goes away, though. Real love between grown adults eventually takes work and effort to sustain. Love is not just a feeling, it is also an action! Your actions will show the other person that you truly love them.
I read somewhere that the highest form of love is the love between parent and child. I agree. When it comes to my daughter, I love her unconditionally. She tests my patience now and then, but the feeling of love I had when holding her for the first time has never gone away. I don't have to "work" at loving her (even when she is infuriating); my love for her is just "there" - it just "is".
We love people who undrerstand "yesterday's lessons" for today's NWO.
"Hitler's Inferno"
In my mind, love = extreme likeness of someone or something.
In Love = a chemical imbalance in the brain.
Greek to the rescue:
Eros
Philia
Agape
Storge
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love
From my experiences:
"Love" is a verb and never a noun. "in-love" is a state. I've never thought about what "like" is though.
LIKE is general: you might like someone you have never met before or something you experience for the first time.
LOVE is very particular: you can love only someone you know rather well or something you have experienced many times.
IN-LOVE is a "ONE-TO-ONE" relationship, the sole right or the exclusive towards someone or something.
(IN-LOVE, at least in Sothern Italy) is something supposed to be forever.
CIAO
I DON'T LOVE PUDDING
I like pudding. I love my child, I was, perhaps, in love with her mother.
I like pudding. It’s a variable emotion. If the pudding aint nice then I don’t like it. It’s literally about taste.
I love my child. I’ve been fortunate in that regard. If you have a child who is a ‘joy’ then - chances are - character takes precedence over personality and it’s the manifestation of that character, over time, which brings out the joy.
The love of a parent for a child is probably the closest we get to ‘true love’. I’d call it true love because the relationship requires nothing, from the other, apart from their continued existence.
I’ve been besotted by women, obsessed by beauty and none of it stands the test of time because it aint love. At best it’s a conditional love. If our loved one grows cold to our touch and continues colder then our ‘love’ begins to change.
‘What? - my love’s no good anymore? You won’t get better elsewhere!’ ..... doesn’t it become a commodity when put like that?
My grandson is very young and is more ‘in love’ with the idea of being a guitar hero than he is with actually doing the hard work required to reach that goal. This isn’t a criticism. It’s the way life is.
We taste, we like, we taste some more - perhaps become obsessed, perhaps become addicted. It’s more about where our attention lies than ... love.
I don’t love life but there isn’t much alternative so we call it precious and kill each other at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hunger for death and will accept my allotted number of heartbeats before - The Big Nothing or the Big Something. We’re here for a reason or we’re not and if we’re not - then I’ll make one up.
So what can I say I love? Call and response - I love that ‘Hail Fellow - Well met!’ aspect of life. I don’t just like it. It nourishes me to know good people roam the earth. I don’t need to meet them and I don’t require anything from them and so it’s .... pretty much unconditional and so I’ll call it love quite cheerfully.
I don’t love things, inanimately manufactured. I cannot love a car but that’s more a reflection of how loosely we use the word love.
I love a ‘God who doesn’t intervene’ precisely because any intervention immediately negates free will.
Perhaps love makes the heart expand. It’s a little bit more than good vibrations but it does contain that radiance and many of us recognise it in others even if we find it hard to define for ourselves.
Right at this moment I do love life and am happy to be here. I wont try to capture or contain it and I know I won’t feel the same at dawn tomorrow as I shiver into some outdoor work - sleepy, bleary and ‘rather be elsewhere’ .... until I warm up.
Hi, Derek,
It sounds like you're searching...
Interesting. Well, I'll tell you, I think each of us gets a call from our gut about the person we're thinking of choosing, if we're lucky enough to find someone suitable. I'm talking about spousal love. We each have a gut instinct that says, Yes, this could work, or No, it just doesn't feel right. We have to listen to it, but it's common to disregard it for many reasons. If we are living in a fantasy that we can find the perfect mate, and that certain things have to be perfect, we may never find such a human being. So we live in a kind of dead space, waiting for something that will never come. Lots of people live like that. Others take what comes when two minds have to live under one roof, and work to make the existence together more like what they want. They find the love changing based on what they go through together. Sometimes things don't work out, and it's painful to go through that. But when the voice inside us says, Yes, this could work, it's most likely it will. High quality psychoanalysis helps immensely in terms of hearing that inner voice more clearly, and identifying if we are living in a dead space. Good luck with your search.
Robin
Such a wonderful community you've founded here, Derek! Such friendly, informative, thoughtful, even beautiful responses. Mine takes the form of a story. Please excuse the length.
Alanafalana
Legend has it that “like”, “in love”, and “love” are some of the nicer way-stations on the universal voyage of Love. As you meander thru the hills & valleys, exploring your planetary home, you stop in for a visit now & then. You laugh, you cry, you wander on. One day you climb a hill much higher than you’ve ever known before. Love! You’ve heard of this place. The view is spectacular! You’d like to stay forever, but the rarified atmosphere is beyond your abilities at the moment. So you make the descent, vowing to return.
The usual suspects convince you to tarry along other paths, returning to the old familiar haunts. But that vision of Love remains and one day you strike out on your own, heading for the mountains. You discover a new summit. You look around and notice other peaks nearby. You journey on and discover a few small communities of folks at this elevation. You realize you could actually live up here! If you want…
You think about it. You decide to make the descent again, to tie up some loose ends and bring supplies. It takes a few trips. Each time you carry fewer supplies. Your heart grows stronger with each climb. Before long you can’t imagine what more you need. You find your feet can no longer negotiate the turn around, back down the mountain. Love seems to have a permanent address up here. There’s plenty of room at the inn.
You mentioned your trips to a few of your friends, sent a few postcards. Whaddya know! A few of them show up for a visit. You have a magnificent time, showering them with the gifts that grow abundantly in the meadows up here. Everyone finds their own special spot they want to return to. A few of them come back to stay.
One day someone named True arrives, someone you seem to know. Don’t quite remember this face, but the vibration feels so familiar, so exquisite. You talk, you walk thru the meadows. Your hands are a perfect fit, transmitting wordless communications in the language of Home.
Seems that you each have all the main ingredients and you want to build the same kinds of inns. More spots for more friends to discover this spectacular view from a place called Love. Wanna try it together? Wow! Very cool! You’re astonished. True Love showed up! And you weren’t even looking anymore.
love and like comes in many forms , many layers,there is no one answer,knowing the difference is what makes us human,,k.sokol
Hi Derek,
Are you trying to find out if your in love? Just kidding.
Well! if you like someone.You like hanging out with them.But,you can also do without them.
If you're in love you might be thinking of going up a level and asking yourself "Can i live with this person for the rest of my life"?on the other hand if you say,"I cannot live without this person in my life" then you truley love that person.
Pete
BEYOND THE BLISS
WHEN YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME - THERE’S A RISE IN THE OCEAN
THE DEPTHS SEEM TO REACH TO THE SKY
THE SUN’S A LITTLE BRIGHTER, THE BREEZE A CARESS
TO THE HEART OF A FOOL SUCH AS I
WHEN YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME , THERE’S A DREAM FROM MY CHILDHOOD
AGAINST WHICH THERE’S STILL NO DEFENCE
WHEN YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME.....
IT JOLTS MY FRAME OF REFERENCE......
IF I SAY I LOVE YOU QUOTING CHAPTER AND VERSE
AS A LOVERS DISCIPLE OF CHOICE
WOULD YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME , EXPLORE RHYME AND REASON
THE WHOLE OF THE SOUL GIVEN VOICE
AND IF WE SAY I LOVE YOU IT’S MANNA FROM HEAVEN
THE SOUND OF YOUR SMILE TO MY EARS
.....SO I SAY I LOVE YOU .................... BECAUSE I CAN AND I WANT TO
.................I NEED TO.................... SO EASY TO BREATH TO
...........................WE BE TO THE RHYTHM.......... WE DANCE A REVIVAL
..........................................SO EASY TO BREATH TO.......... WE SING OUR SURVIVAL
.......................................................WE BRING OUR ATTENTION......... HARMONIOUS ARRIVAL
ROMANCE IN LOVE IS WHAT THIS IS ............ ...............ROMANCE THE KISS
...................................................................... NOW CAN WE GO ....... BEYOND THE BLISS
WHEN I SAY I LOVE YOU IT’S THE CLOSEST I GET
TO REVEALING THE STATE OF MY HEART
AWAY WITH SUBTLE MEANING I’M AS SIMPLE AS DAYLIGHT
THE CURSE OF MY BLINDNESS APART
WHEN YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME THERE’S A MELT IN THE GLACIERS
THE MOUNTAINS THEY TAKE NO OFFENCE
WHEN YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME YOU SAY IT WITH SOME REVERENCE
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO EASY TO BREATH TO SO EASY TO BREATH TO
..............WHEN YOU SAY ................................................... x 4
Remember your favorite song when you were a teenager.
It wasn’t perfect… maybe your friends didn’t think much of it.
But it was your favorite song.
You didn’t question, “Do I really love this?”
You just did.
You didn’t analyze it.
When you analyze, you keep EVERYBODY at arms length.
It’s safer, but who wants to be around someone who continually dissects?
Let go… take care of her… and she’ll take care of you.
Yea soul mates are hard to find havent found mine yet. They say all relationships have to be worked at and sure they do... However the more compatable the more able to tolerate the differences the easier the road...
Derek...I'm quite intrigued by your recent endeavors. You appear to be on a mission? Your persona kind of reminds me of Somerset's "The Razors Edge." Did you find that making money really doesn't solve problems? You did a great thing for the musicians by helping to sell their CDs. Jean
-- Derek
Thanks Jean. I've always been a curious student of life. I'm just sharing my questions and musings on the site more now than before. Same stuff I've always talked about with friends.
I don't see any difference. It' all the same shit.
Love, B
It think it's too narrow a definition of love. To ruminate on love you need to take in parental and filial love ... Ultimately you will end up thinking about the love of God for His creation ... Even if you are agnostic (as I am) it is edifying to dwell on this subject as I believe it helps us to understand why humanity identified and defined the ineffable concept of "love". After all, there's no more proof of the existence of love than the existence of God ...
SORRY I CANT TELL THIZ STORY YET!
In looking over some of these posts, I see that a few people from places other than in the United States mentioned that it isn't as confusing where they are because there isn't as much distinction or not as many different words.
As a songwriter I almost hate to
say this, but it almost makes me feel like English just has too many words.
Typical to America, we take a beautiful concept like "love" and feel we have to define every little step and nuance, and end up doing nothing more than confusing things...
Which is why, when it all comes down, I love English. I would put a little smiley face here, but any post praising the English language should never have a little smiley face...
Derek, people can only tell the shades of love they are at the end of the journey. Time will tell if you are in love or in lust.... don't doubt me, pls
Love is a mating of the minds and heart; deeper implications that reach beyond surface beauty. A happy medium to be equally shared-it's up to you to know the "why".
“If I like anything about someone, I like them. If I like everything about someone, I love them. If I like everything about someone and we have great sex, I'm in love.”
This is hillariously brilliant. I LOVE it!
Another great question to keep us all up for the rest of our lives. Which one of you 200 commenteers is gonna write the book of "Like, Love and IN-Love"?
...a vast bewitching mystery, an ever changing sea of thoughts and feelings, a leap of faith without expectation...a warm knowing smile between two that transcends time...in love, love, like...may we all share in it on this lovely, blustery, sunny autumn day!
To be in love with my true self, which straddles time and space is the most important thing and most beneficial for the people I love, too
Hmm..When you Like someone, you're Fond of Them. When you Love someone, you're Beyond Fond of them. &..when you're In-Love with someone, (longer-term) you know they're NOT the Perfect Being you'd imagined earlier, BUT you'd still take a Bullet for them.
Like = approval
This can apply to anything.
In love = In Lust/heated passion
The fire of passion deminishes with time.
Love = One life for another/Charity
No greater love has he who will give his life for another. Jesus gave his life for YOUR salvation. Who do you love enough to sacrifice your life for them?
The best definition I have read for love is found in the Bible:
I Corinthians - Chapter 13: verses 1-7.
I really like the statement that one of your friends offered, Derek--“Like is liking someone, but conditionally. Love is liking someone unconditionally. In-love is just glorification of a temporary infatuation. Eventually it becomes love.”
However, I think that one can stay "in love" with someone indefinitely, as that is more of an attitude and state-of-mind...moreso based on the couple's mutual connectivity and common bond. It is undeniably true that "infatuation" and "passionate" love will fade over a couple of years--there is no way for this to persist at such a high level, and would be quite unhealthy and unproductive for us, if it did. We all know how it feels when we find that special someone and fall madly in love--you can't think of anything else...you can't talk, work, eat, or drink without him/her being in the forefront of your mind. One thing is for certain--you'd better figure out how to "love and be loved" before the infatuation phase is over, or else your relationship will soon be over, as well.
For anyone that is looking for a great take on this subject, I strongly recommend "The 5 Love Languages," by Gary Champman. He offers invaluable information regarding what "love" is and isn't, and how each of us has our own unique way of FEELING loved by another individual. For example, I feel loved when someone tells me that she loves me....from a little brush of the hand on the shoulder...fingers through the hair, etc. My ex-wife felt loved more from acts of service, such as if I cleaned the house, fixed her car, took out the trash, etc. Simply saying "I love you" to her was not what tripped her trigger, so to speak. A gentle caress on the shoulders did not fill up her love tank (as Champman refers to it). This book was an eye-opener for me, and possibly could have saved my first marriage, if I would have known about it sooner. WE DON'T ALL "FEEL" LOVE IN THE SAME WAY!
Peace,
Eldon Johnson
I was going to pass on this one... and then... it came to me....
All of the comments that I have read here assume that these words are referring to a personal relationship.... here is a twist....
Check this out.... I like my neighbor, I love my work... and damn...I AM IN LOVE with a band that I hope to be managing VERY SOON....
Best to you all!
...y'know, if you get on with yourself first...thinking you're ok and all. well...you do a much better job with the other three, however they occur.
My first language is Russian, and we also have three different terms for love, in-love and like. OK, here's what I think: to like someone is to be interested in a person, or, to be more specific, in one or several particular qualities of the person. To be in love is a temporary state of mind, or, quoting your friend, Derek, the "glorification of a temporary infatuation". Sometimes it grows into love, sometimes simply dies out. Now, love... That's the tough one. TO LOVE doesn't necessarily mean TO LIKE EVERYTHING about a person. In my opinion, it means to ACCEPT the person, the way he or she is, unconditionally, without wanting to change anything... And willing to be with the person all the time, willing to share your life with him or her... OK, there
I do my best to love everyone, and everything. I practice this daily. That includes the heroes and villains in my life and in my songs. One of my best recent tunes was written out of love for someone who I really strongly dislike, as a wish for him to find his soul and a way to live reasonably.
So I try to love everyone - starting with their molecules, if their brain is too much - but there are plenty of people I don't like and choose not to work with or to be around if I can avoid it. Still, I know they are doing the best they can under the circumstances - like everyone else. Like you are. Like I am.
As for IN LOVE, I've been with my girl for over 5 years now and I hope to be with her until we die. One of my favorite things about her is that she doesn't make me stupid. There are plenty of women out there who make my hormones flip out, but this one, we just hang out and enjoy each other and help each other with what we need help with and so far, it's been so good. We don't have everything in common, but that's what keeps it interesting. And for the first three years we were "together," we lived in different cities, 1500 miles apart. We got through it OK, and I think it gave us a good foundation to get through whatever else comes our way.
(I think it's probably a compatibility of scent, if you want to get scientific about it... but what fun is that? Or else our cosmic umbilical cords are twisted together in another dimension.)
When you say, I love you..it means you really care about the persons well being.
But then..I love flowers. I love to smell them, look at them, they are like sunshine by my door. I love yougert ice cream. That I...is me loving something for my own purpose. It is a self gratification.
When you say I am in love. There is an attraction you have and want from that person. It can be a selfish, physical and mental want without committment. It can be a lustful desire for that person despite the circumstances. It can be sinful thoughts. All these can be the beginning of a disaster in both persons lives, unless the attraction is wanting a life long
committment to be with, share, and be totally devoted to that persons mental, spiritual, and physical wellfare. Then it is an unselfish love.
Without compassion there is a lack of fullfilment in any kind of love. If the person is married,
below age limits, etc. then compassion for the children and the husband should superceed any claim of feelings by the attraction. If compassion is not in the picture, it is selfish, totally self dominated, and the person you are attracted to better stay compleatly away from any involment with you for nothing beautiful or worthwhile can come from it.
When you like someone, you are making a statement of aproval about that person, without any personal involvement or committment. it is a nice feeling to click with someone and be able to communicate in values or intrests, without expecting anything, or having to give any more to the relationship, except to be an honest friend. One that cares, but does not consume.
There is one source of love, and unless our relationshipe are careing, unselfish, compassionite, it does not reflect the blessings of our source, it will therefore come to naught as a fullfilment or expression of a full life. Helen
Hi Derek and everybody!!
So many people wrote so many beautiful things! Thank you all! It's a deep subject, love, deeper than all of us and powerful too. Yes, there are three types of love, as explained but the greatest thing about love to me, is it's vastness. Beyond this life, this universe, this moment in history. It soothes, heals, energizes, motivates, creates passion..No matter what is happening in time, love will always remain. I love that!
Rachel
"We'll share the joy of life's greatest pleasure, giving your love to someone"
When I received the gift of this line for one of my songs the hair stood up on my arms. To be loved and give love is the joy of life.
The pictuer in this issue is "LOVE"
Aleee
Only gonna address the last of the 3 types here, and the way in which I know, personally, which is which and what is what...
Being IN-LOVE is an indescribable, wonderful, blissed-out, beautiful, soothing, all consuming cosmic joy ride between two people cruising about the universe on a tandem bicycle; there won't be anyone else you'd WANT on that bike other than the person you're truly IN LOVE with - cosmic cruising is WAY TOO FAR a sojourn to take with someone you can't even TALK TO!
(WHEN, for example, you take a wrong turn and find yourself riding through the darker regions of space; OR when you need 'em to take the "TANDEM BIKE WHEEL" from time to time & give you a space-break; OR if you need a confidence boost whilst navigating those tricky asteroid fields & black holes that pop up unexpectedly.)
That's my definition of knowing you're IN LOVE.
My man (a certain DOKTOR of the quacked-up-mad-scientist-persuasion) said, when the question was put to him:
"Er...the difference is about the size of a ketchup bottle!"
Nearly shot us right off the super space highway into an oncoming comet, I was laughing so hard!
Fortunately, he took the bike-wheel at just the right moment & corrected our trajectory, all the while laughing with me; what a perfect tandem bicycle partner!
Wouldn't wanna cruise this universe with anyone else.
And that is how I know...
...which kind of love...
...my love is...
x
"Are We In Love?" I pose this very question in this song/music video. Don't know if you've seen it. Enjoy ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EnkOUIqNtM&fmt=18
Sinem
Maybe, we will never come to truly knowing what love is. Maybe our goal is to understand what love isn't.
hey #244 good for you .... use Derek's blog for marketing yourself! Blatant...no apologies.....and it fit right in with the topic at hand..... lol
I have to admit I have been tempted ... but have resisted...just seems ... I don't know...so WRONG....!
Like is when you enjoy something on some meaningful level. Love is when you can give of your feelings unconditionally to something in a meaningful inner way. In-love is when you are aware and accept that what you feel is unconditional, and is coming from your deepest essence of feelings towards something other than yourself.
I can say I've been in love twice. I knew I was in love, because I could be myself. I felt at ease to clown. I felt this person would have my back. Right now there is someone I like, but it probably will not go any further. He is a nice guy to look at, but he's having problems. I've been in love before, but so glad I found out what it means to really love someone. Being in love with someone is when the other party considers you less important than other people. I know my love for him will never go deeper than a stream.
L. Lose your preconceptions
O. Open your soul-door and let it out to play
V. Vote with your heart
E. Empty the trash
Another idea:
like=bunny hop
love=ballroom
in love=tango
I think that the true test of true love is persistance. That's what I liked about the picture on this blog. It is easy to bale out. Sometimes I am so mad at my man that I wish he were gone. But I don't leave. And I worry if he is late. I care if he is sick. And if he is disabled, I will take care of him. Good question; what if you love somebody deeply and they cheat? Is that an absolute deal breaker? (My old man didn't cheat) I just hear people say that they love unconditionally, then they can't forgive.
I have read most of these comments, and they are all quite good. A lot of thought have went into these comments. I commend them all. As for the question, I believe you answered it in your initial statemment, or question. The answer is, is just love. Love is lt, that's it. Love is the answer. No defining, except in your own mind weather it is like, love, or being in love. Love is a great word in itself. I love life. Don't you?
THere is Love and there is infatuation or desire. Infatuation is fleeting. Desire is one set of glands calling to another. It is marked by feelings of insecurity-- you are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about the relationship you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream
Love is friendship caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time. Love is quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you—to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away. Miles don't separate you-- But near or far you know he is yours and you can wait.
Infatuation says we must get married. I can’t risk losing you. Love says Be patient, don’t panic-- plan your future with confidence
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Where you’re together you hope it will end in intimacy. Love is not sex based. It is the maturation of friendship that makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers. Infatuation lacks confidence. When he’s away you wonder if he’s being faithful... sometimes you check. Love means trust. You feel calm, secure unthreatened. He feels your trust and it makes him even more trustworthy. Infatuation leads you to do things you will regret but love never steers you in the wring direction
Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you better than you were before.
Love happens when you least expect it...truly it is interest at first site that evolves into attraction then decisions must be made : am I willing to make a 100% self-donation to this person?Answer this first: is everything that happens to you from the momemt you meet this person better because you share it with your new love interest? AND do you want to share your future with this person nd not have anything happen to you unless you share it with this person? If yes to all.. you are in love. I know becuase I have been in love for 39 years and those questions are what discerned for me that this was truly "it".. the great love of my life whom I met when I least expected to... and my life has NEVER been the same. Get this: before you meet the love of your life, your life is black and white. After you meet the love of your life, your life is in living color!Also, pray. Pray that God will send you your soul mate because if you ask for this gift... you will get it.
Love is when you miss being around someone or something so bad that you feel like you have been runned over by a train.
Watch the move High Fidelity if you haven't.
the late great British humourist Willie Rushton said that there were too many love songs. " If god had meant there to be so many love songs he'd've thought of more rhymnes than glove, dove, above and shove. In France it's easier as lots of French words rhyme with amour - but god is English"
Something I have been struggling to define recently a lot. But Martin Lunds comments ring true with me. You can definitely love someone very much but not be 'in love' with them, even if you were 'in love' to start with. I think the 'in love' part is when you are first madly attracted to each other and you know the feelings are reciprocated and you are showing each other all the wonderful parts of yourself. Later comes the tough stuff which tells you if you really love that person and would do anything for them. I guess that is why we write so many songs about it, because it really is one of the most complex forces we feel.
Like, love, in love have a common denominator. AFFINITY. Wanting to share the same space, be close to, contribute to.Hydrogen & oxygen have an affinity and combine to produce water. Roger & Hart had affinity and produced some great songs. I can feel affinity for my wife, Lester Young, Sarah Vaughn, Michael Franks, Gershwin's Concerto in F, a sunset, a full moon, God etc.
AFFINITY should not be confused with GREED which is possession, control and domination.
And so many great "love affairs" end in disastrous bitter divorce.
Love, Baaska
I saw a PBS special recently called something like "Finding Your One True Love," in which the speaker said that you have to be careful not to have sex with someone before you really know them because your body may start to fall in love before your mind does. Isn't that interesting? There are actual hormonal responses caused by skin-to-skin contact, similar to those that bond a mother and baby during nursing, and those can cloud your judgment -- to say the least!
Oh, another thing -- I know little about Buddhism but I read something that explained that the concept of a one true soulmate is very western, and boils down to the selfish/egotistical nature of our society (getting ahead, being a leader, self-aggrandizement). Whereas a Buddhist concept of no boundaries between me and you allows for the understanding that love is not a once-in-a-lifetime, all-consuming thing, but a lifelong journey of altruistic behavior. Also the expectation that we have that lovers would socialize together is not shared in other societies such as India, where it is understood that husbands and wives might lead very separate lives.
To like someone means you can stand to be arould them. To love someone means you can accept their downfalls and not let those things ruin the relationship. To be in-love means you can't without a doubt be without them, absolutely.
I think it's amazing that some knew right away that he/she was the one AND that it lasted.
I can't relate, falling in and out of love every half decade or so. I confuse all three like/love/in love I suspect.
I generally care very much what happens to people I love, and let people I like fend for themselves more.
My favorite "love " songs are Changes by Black Sabbath and You're Breaking my Heart by Nilsson. The comments are generally so positive. A-maz-ing!!!
Golden weddings are not frequent, the percentage is quite small. Married life can't last forever, it's a good world after all. Haha, not seriously.
I see from the number of comments that love is a pretty popular subject. That word is misused in many ways as slang for sex to exaggerate liking or passionate possesion of something. In the older dictionaries love had a more concise, simpler meaning referring to the treasure of the heart and the action from that. (from ourselves, a giving not receiving). Some say you'll know love when you see or feel it, but I wonder how many breakups and divorces have occurred after believing that statement. Love has many levels; from a simple like to a sacrificial dedication. Infatuation, intrique, passion, longing to posses and even dedication are maybe something found within love but not love itself. Even those elements can prove to be false. To find the definition of pure and true love read I Corrithians the 13th chapter of your Bible.
Here's some love in a song I channeled, to share from me to you, from Him. Enjoy!
“Simple Love”
(VERSE)
I’m the here, the now, the why
The attempt in all your tries
I’m the reason to believe
All the fresh air that you breathe
I'm the ponder in your thoughts
All the comfort in your loss
I'm the shine in every star
The reason that you are
I am the future, the now, the past
Dreams n’ visions that you have
(Bridge)
I am the reason for your days
And the power of all ways
I'm the secret to the door
The one you crave when you want more
I am the beauty in all you see
The answer to all your needs
(Chorus)
I’m the way – I am love
I’m the way, simple love
I know you hurt, I know you cry
You ask me and you wonder why
I want you to know its love
Simple Love
(Verse)
I’m the heal in every sore
I’m the hand that feeds the poor
I’m the peace within your soul
I’m your high to every low
I am the safe within the storm
All the wisdom earned of worn
I am the bloom in every seed
The let go of all your greed
(Verse)
I am the rainbow in the sky
Memories in all goodbyes
I am the laughter in your days
All the music that you play
I am the how to wonder why’s
And the bind in all the family ties
I am the warmth within a hug
The pouring rain from up above
(Chorus x2)
I’m the way, I am love
I’m the way, simple love
I know you hurt, I know you cry
You ask me and you wonder why
I want you to know its love
Simple Love
Lyrics by Rockangel aka J. Dansk(BMI USA ) Music by Svend-EK Madsen (Denmark)
''Where does love go when it's Gone?
Oh, where does love go when it's Gone?
Where does love go when it's Gone?
When I look to the stars up in the sky . . .
They still shine on . . .
But they're already gone!
And you're already gone.
And without you . . .
I'm gone.''
''Gone''
by LAMMY aka Mr. True
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Reff:http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+13%3A4-13&version=NIV
Derek,
I am amazed at all the responses you receive
to all your questions ! I do not know how they
have that much time to respond, and how you
can process all of them.
One thing I have noticed in many of your blogs,is the fact that many people cannot
spell correctly, especially on the possessive, Your's, which they spell as: your .
Nevertheless, I like your questioning nature.
I won't comment on " love". Too much pain
is involved.
Keep thinking and asking !
Marti Lynch
The first one is right...If you like someone (male or female) they can be your friend. If you date someone and like them enough that they become your best friend ever, then you know the meaning of true love.
The sad thing is that reading most people's thoughts on this subject confirms that I lost the true love of my life because she could not discern what love really is and made the wrong choice.
So I will simply say that love is a monkey with a machine gun.
I can selfishly indulge in Like
I am selflessly possessed by Love
When I'm hopelessly obsessed with Like
Then I guess you could say I'm In Love
i know little but have observed that of all the stimulus one's mind can experience i think love is the highest... ever ordered a cheeseburger out of boredom and just b4 you have a bite a pretty lady walks by and suddenly the burger is not the bite u wanna take... ever fasted from food more than 3 days... u realize that moments of a day are linked from one pleasure or distraction to the next... habits are built upon their stimulus to the brain from pedicures to coffee.... life is a boredom ender... pocket full of money is honey to the brain... just wished i had the nerve to skydive and then i could rank this on boredoms curve.... but love, "is the greatest healer to be found"... and is lifes end game!!!
Regarding other languages, I think that in Portuguese, the noun "amor" and the verb "amar" (direct translation of "love") kind of carry a stronger meaning than the word "love". That's why we tend not to use such words except for people we are in-love with, mom's love or God's love.
When we want to say that we love some place or some friend, we usually use "adorar" (from "adore") which carries a weaker meaning.
"In love" is something you can grow out of. It's spelled "Luv". "Love" is the fruit or consequence of real sacrifice and is something you never lose - even for those with whom you are no longer "in love".
L'amore è la vita.Quando si ama si vola.Se viene a mancare l'amore si vuole morire.E' difficile accettare di perdere un amore ma purtroppo accade ed è molto doloroso.L'amore è unico ma con tante diramazioni e tante sfaccettature,l'amore per i figli,per la moglie,per la mamma,per la vita,sono tanti amori diversi ma con un unico colore che porta alla felicità.
Like is .. anything you find interesting about a person, their wit, their smile, their demeanour.
Love is caring for someone and wishing them well, from the heart, without prejudice.
In love is when you think abou this person in your daily living, and you adore them with your body, your brain, and your heart. In love is fleeting, but
once lost, it can be found again, if its true love.
I'm not a musician, and don't have much experience with these matters, but piping in anyway...
In my own words (sortof):
Being in love is wanting to be with someone always, no matter what *they* think about that.
To love someone is wanting what is best for them, even if that is not being with you.
The (fictional) example that most readily pops into my mind of true love, is Tomoyo from Card Captor Sakura, who happily helped her love hook up with someone else.
I also find I rather agree with this answer, though it is somewhat recursively stated: “Like is liking someone, but conditionally. Love is liking someone unconditionally. In-love is just glorification of a temporary infatuation. Eventually it becomes love.”
Though I would add that in-love can fade away instead of becoming love.
The whole like/love thing is complicated a bit by there being many degrees/types/whatever of love (for family, friends, girl/boyfriends...), and by that it seems quite possible to love someone yet not really like them.
If not for that last, I'd probably say the two were degrees of the same thing... They're certainly similar.
I can like just about anyone, even people I only meet briefly once. I love a lot of others - but they tend to be people I really get to know and have a meaningful relationship with. But I'm only "in love" with a very small, select few. That is my deepest, inner-core of people. Those are the people who will have a special place in my heart forever.
It had been so long since I loved or was in love that I forgot how it felt! In love, where I am now, means that I can completely trust the person I'm with. At my best or my worst, they accept me. We are a part of each other--inextricable. It's a private cocoon, just big enough for two. I imagine that eventually we'll emerge, having transformed into something less fevered, but for now I am enjoying the long-awaited intimacy and bliss I feel here.
So many wonderful comments. Friendship is the highest form of relationship, says Paramahansa Yogananda. After 54 years and many forms of love, in-love, unrequited love, etc., I am in love with my freedom. I would take a bullet for it. My book, which is the result of my passion for life & writing, tells of a very unexpected love that exceeds any love I've known between mortals or a pet.
I like red wine and Italian food.
I love my wife, she's my best friend.
I'm in love with life, it keeps me alive.
These are easy questions Derek - Songwriting 101 Level 1....
Everything comes in degrees. Like is due to something in particular you see in an individual. Love is unconditional and accepts all things. In love is something that can last for a moment or longer, it only depends if that which you love about a person is still in existence.
Liking someone is when you like being in their company but you don't feel a strong urge to be with them as much as you can.
Love is indefinate: you can always make more. Love is when you care about someone no matter what. They can hurt you, embarrass you, make you mad ect.,the list is endless, but no matter what you will always forgive them.
Being in love is basically the same thing as love but more intiment. (Don't get this confussed with lust, which, by the way, is only wanting sex.) When your in love you want to build a life together with the person your in love with. Its not just a "i love you for the moment" or "lets screw!" but its a life time commitment and when you do have sex, your not only doing the deed but MAKING love to each other.
Its this need and longing to be with someone no matter what.
Being in love with someone is not about finding a perfect person, its about seeing an inperfect person perfectly.
Being in love is about finding someone whose willing to be there for you and your willing to do the same. You have to get a little uncomfortable at times tho but its worth it(:
Its complicated and no one can fully explain it and it goes way deeper than what i've said.
♥Caitlyn(:
I had to ponder this when I was deciding if I was ready for marriage. I should have done this much sooner in my relationship as I was ready to get married years before. Love is better when you know you have it.
The way I see love is the infinite expansion of the human state, free from attachment which causes human sufferings! So, in life or death, there is only love, infinite, unbounded by our humanness and when the day comes for the body to leave the form, the endless stream of pure love still remains, unaffected by the inevitable truth of death. Love is just LOVE, infinite expansion. I will share the lyrics to a song about a woman that I LOVE.....
9 STORIES
9 Stories From the Sky
9 Stories Wrapped in my mind
9 stories I will climb
to tell
9 stories to your eyes
9 stories I will fall
down
to read
9 stories from the book of love
9 stories home at last
in your arms
what I would do
to read
9 stories from my book of poems
9 stories from the ground
here in my room
WONDERING
when will I see you again
yes I WONDERING
when will I see you again
touch your lips
feel the warmth of your skin
fall into your eyes
where compassion begins
watch you walk
upon a seashore calm
the breeze circles with love
in your radiant charm
Song Bird Violet Love
Your heart sings
Song Bird Violet Love
Your heart sings
along
in Angelic Song
(then there is a musical build up)
In modern day time its hard to say
if the box
pulls us closer
or farther away
I just don't know how else to pervay
9 more stories I want to say
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I love YOU
I LOVE YOU
(THIS PART IS EXPLOSION
(Breaks down)
When I try to define
all the good ole lovin inside
and reside on a notion
of where we fit in time
a relationship spawns
and half the love is gone
Like My teacher, My pet, My girlfriend, My pawn
label it mine then it wont last long
Ill
be
wondering
where
I
belong
(music builds
(and builds)
Now I burst Open My Heart for us all to sing along
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
(Sing along part
For me, like is enjoying somebody's company. Love is a bond you have with somebody where you know they are important to you deep down. In-love can have two different meanings depending on the context in which it's used. It can either refer to the passion and excitement that is felt early on during the honeymoon stage of a romantic relationship. Or it can refer to a bond of love that exists between two people and makes them want to share their lives together as romantic partners.
To like someone is to desire their friendship (be attracted to them), to love someone is a choice, and to be in-love is a gift.
True love is a feeling that when years go by, even though apart, your spirits are bound and you can still feel for that person. Every day you are apart it tears you up inside because you miss her so much. Even if you want to forget, and try to, you can not becuase your souls are bound together. It is the highest form of love and literally is the foundation of real marriage : "What god has put together, let no man seperate" --- NO MAN CAN SEPERATE YOU as this bond is of the spirit, and can never be "filled" or "replaced" by anyone else.
True love sucks when you are dealing with someone who was forced into an arranged marriage. As you will both suffer the pain, and no amount of money will ever compensate as every dollar you see will remind you, every thought when you are asleep, you will remember, every time you laugh, you will cry inside at the pain you feel because you miss the laugh with your soul mate.
You can feel everything that person does, even though they could be a whole universe away.
True love NEVER dies.
I hate True love. :(
I miss you Wendy Hsieh (13 years later)
I wish i was in love, but i can't imagine being in love.
Something like this:"an incredibly moving, emotionally gripping, beautifully sung song that reminds me of the delerium experienced when your heart crumbles in utter humility and surrenders itself completely to love - totally admitting you faults and weaknesses yet empowering yourself and the other person by doing the same. Essentially saying, yeah I'm a wounded spirit with some serious scar tissue, but something about you permeates all that and enlivens my very core, my basic goodness. This song is the lump in your throat when you're falling madly in love and your throat dries out before you can spit out what your soul is desperately yearning to say.."
Though I have a hard time with a description of "like" and "in-love", I will say that "love" is much the way you had described CD baby: That everything you did for it, never felt like work. When you love someone, the 'work' that you do in your relationship, just never feels like work, but an extension of the love you've already got for them.