Flip the stick
2010-03-29
When I was a teenager and heard, “It's all who you know,” it used to feel so defeating.
I wanted to be a famous musician, but I didn't know any famous people. I didn't grow up in Hollywood. None of my friends were successful. Success was a secret insider's group to which I'd never belong. I'm just an introvert from Nowhere, Illinois.
So when I heard, “It's all who you know," it felt like the rest of that sentence was, “and you don't know anyone. So forget it.”
One day in college we had a guest speaker who was a head-honcho at BMI.
On his way into class I overheard him say he was hungry. He had come straight to our school without lunch, so when the teacher told him it was a two-hour class, he groaned.
Because everyone was still getting seated, I quickly ran out to the hall, called the local pizza shop, and ordered a few pizzas to be sent to our classroom.
After they arrived, he laughed and said, “Good move. I owe you one,” and gave me his card after class, suggesting I keep in touch.
For the next two years, he always took my calls, gave me all kinds of advice about the music business, and when I graduated college, he got me a great job at Warner Music in New York City. (More specifically: he heard they had an opening and called them to say their search was over, that he knew the best guy for the job, could vouch for me, then gave them my number. They called me to say I was hired already and I started the next day.)
A year later, I realized “It's all who you know,” doesn't have to be depressing. I just never considered it could work in my favor.
Then once you realize that, you realize the profound conclusion: everything that seems depressing can be flipped to work in your favor.
Every deal that's bad for someone is good for someone else. So instead of moaning about one end of it, take the other end.
Think banks have an unfair advantage? Then be a bank.
Think corporate radio is keeping your music from being heard? Then make a radio station.
In 1996, distribution for musicians sucked. The only way to get your music sold was to somehow be that 1-in-1000 that signs a deal with a major distributor, who would keep 60% of the net, which was 50% of the gross, and you were left with $1.50 per CD sold, although they were notorious for never paying, and of course you never found out who bought your music, and they would kick you out if you didn't sell huge numbers in the first few months. So instead of moaning, I just became a distributor.
It's easier than ever for you to replace a broken system, and never feel helpless again.
If you're offered the shit end of the stick, never forget you can flip the stick around.
(Then clean it, so it's not shitty for anyone else again.)
I like this. Thank you.
well put. it's definitely the mindset that my group has been holding to
I love this point and I needed a reminder of it.
Feels pretty timely for me, because i'm currently making a bit of a career change.
Also wanted to say just generally that I love this site, your ideas are quite often simply expressed and very intelligent. Always look forward to reading new posts
Oh damn, I wasn't the first commenter. Do I still win something?
By putting yourself in positions to know people you discover whole new world. They wont seek you out, you have to seek them.
Yep. I'd say that is the best way to succeed now. The barriers to entry are gone - anyone can make anything from almost anywhere and market it with their toes in the sand and a laptop under their fingers. Amen
Nice one;-) I read a book when I was a kid and it said that everything and everyone has two handles; if you grab the hard one, the thing comes up hard and is really awkward and heavy - and if you grab the other one, the thing is easy and light to lift... it's a choice.
;-)
So very true Derek. The answer is to be the solution.
Thanks Derek...your ideas and experience certainly enlighten the topic.
By putting yourself in positions to know people you discover whole new world. They wont seek you out, you have to seek them.
(added website to edit)
dig it. I'll pass this around to a few folks. Thanks as always. your timing is impeccable.
Working on that very thing.
Dude,
Thats soooo true. I couldn't agree more.
Right now, I'm trying to build my network and, I think I just met somebody through you on FACEBOOK.
I met someone called 'Lorelei Loveridge.' I think she's apretty cool person.
More news as things develop.
Thanks for everything.
Over and Out,
Crisis Mr. Swagger
Lol, love the pic.
This must be what they mean when they talk about Divine Timing.
I needed this today....
Thank you!
Great outlook, Derek. Thanks. Make your own radio station, huh?
-Amanda
Hahah ! Love it ! And the last line... priceless. Thank you, Derek !
Derek, thanks for the inspiring post. I'm in that kind of place struggling to make ends meet with a new business I've started. It is time to take control. Thanks Curt
This is a great post Derek. It's so true that almost every time there is something to complain about, and opportunity is present. This post is an eye-opener to that fact. Sometimes, the reminders are necessary in order to move one to action. Thanks!
Nice metaphor based on something everyone hears and might be frustrated applying.I like the picture, too.
Hey Derek,
I never thought about it that way. It reminds me of something I read once about the Chinese character for "crisis" being somehow related to the character for "opportunity" (which I cannot validate if it's true or not).
It sounds to me like you're flipping it - but you're also noticing that when there is something wrong, when there is a situation that appears to be working against you - there is always an opportunity there to realize the same advantages and disadvantages affect everyone. You can either then put yourself in a situation where you change your attributes to be in the advantageious position (example: knowing people) or you can completely change the way things work (example: CDBaby/Itunes vs "normal" record company sales. This may be a poor example as there are all kinds of caveats, and because I am fairly ill-versed in the example)
For example, if you can't take credit cards online selling your stuff because you're not a business, just one person, *nobody* who is just one person selling stuff online can take credit cards (hello PayPal and Ebay).
The great switcheroo------ I love this line of thinking--------Rock
I enjoyed these thoughts. Many years ago, I took a similar tack in a book called "Music : Pursuing the Horizon". I remember writing that contacts are not as difficult to come by as you think,. Everyone lives somewhere. Everyone has relatives. There are opportunities everywhere if you seek them with polite persistence. I'll pass this one to my network.
Another great, succinct piece. Thanks!
Thanks, Derek, and amen. Opportunities are everywhere, and we need to realize that before long we are the ones who can also offer opportunities to others - it's good to keep your eyes open for those as well, and we all rise together.
This is absolutely true, and goes along with 90% of life is showing up. Want to play as good as professional musicians? Go where they play, stay after, talk to them, jam. Listen to what people say, think about what you like about what others are doing.
Be friends with waiters and bartenders. They'll introduce you to managers, booker, owners. Let people know what you can do. Keep showing up. Remember people's names, but don't be afraid to ask again. If you can think of a scary question to ask someone that you would like to know, that's a good sign. Ask the question.
Yes, you can.
You rock, Derek.
I have learned turning any event into a positive is not just the defining moment it is THE moment...thanks for sharing that story with us Derek
Thank you Derek!
I have an interview with a multi-media company this week... one person has an Oscar the other has worked at MTV for one thing. So, I hope it is a match.
All the best!
Dan
Hi Derek,
Brilliant!!! That is the "mind set of winner"
Keep on doing what you are doing for all of us!!!
Count with my support and that of my company.
Ramiro Mendes
MB Global Media
Beverly Hills CA
310 927 4339
310 659 9866
I remember watching a great Philly jazz singer (Phyllis Chappell) sing, and I thought "I would love to know her, but she's out of my league." I forced myself to invite her to my home for lunch and to see what new songs she had up her sleeve to share ideas. She loved it. We later became great friends, and I started writing great bosa nova songs simply pretending I was her.. She would later ask "Where did you get that progression? " and I would say "I just ask myself "What would Phyllis put here??" ;)
Always surround yourself with people you think are more successful or smarter than you are!!
is your glass half empty or half full ? the person who you should know best is yourself,an act of kindness (who you are) to a stranger, came back to you ! so it is who you know ! babyred
I've been flipping the stick for quite some time now, although I never had such a perfect analogy for that. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Molo, from Colombia.
very helpful in many ways
It seems you have show through your example Derek, that we make our own opportunities. It's inspiring and somewhat daunting to think of all the opportunities we might have missed because we didn't feel that we were ready to take them on.
thanks
Mike
If "it's all about who you know" and you don't know anybody, then meet some people.
Thank You Derek:
Great article and love the thought pattern of it.
Derik,
You are making 2 important statements in your blog.
1. You need to know and be known by great people
2. Take control of your situation, make it work for you and others.
One important and unspoken ingredient is...
3. You must be as brilliant as Derik Sivers.
Great post, Derek!
20 years ago, I didn't know anyone in my dream career.
15 years ago, I knew one person. (Hint: they helped me move halfway across the country and got me my first job in my dream career.)
10 years ago, I knew a lot of people.
5 years ago, someone people wanted to know me.
Now, it seems like everyone wants my time. I've become an "award-winning expert".
I only hope I can give back as much as was given to me.
This reminds me of when I got dropped from a major label deal and thought my entire musical life was over. I thought there was no such thing as recording music without a record deal. That's when my husband said, "Hey, you don't need a record label for anything but paying for your recording--we can GET JOBS and pay for it ourselves." Which we did. It took a long long time, but we put out my first CD ourselves and were very happy with it. Now we've just put out our second and can't see any reason to not just keep being our own company. Power to the people!
So true....knowing the right person is invaluable....for that introduction, however, the rest....is up to you!
~Rhonda
God bless you, Derek. This was exactly what I needed to read to get my energy level back up. Thanks.
Hello Derek
I remember being depress about this topic a lot off and on.
But, when I do get that depress your right you turn it around for your advantage.
One of my biggest desires is to make films.
Well My girlfriend Gloria supported me emotionally and help me to get a nice video camera.
anyways, I do have to pay her back but still, I had the love from her and God to help me turn around this situation.
I still felt discourage because I didn't know how I was going to make a film.
Ive done it before.but not for a while.
I don't have to make a 90 minute film it could be a very short film.
How about a 2 minute film I thought.
Just like a quicky when you make love.
But thats not true, I thought, But at least, I put a smile on your face.
Anyways with that said, I found an actress and a model and did a trade with her to be in the film.
Sure its not going to be easy.
But this like your pizza an incident can make a miracle,You were very caring.
So you made a life time friend out of Love.
o/* Cheers for the vast possibilities for elective affinities and sincere overtures!
It's amazing what something as simple as a slice of pizza can yield.
always thought provoking and nourishing....what a generous stew you serve up....
goody goody....just thought of a new niche for my music ...'inyourface/background music' - 'alternative' variety of course, although I've never quite figured that one out..
Thanks for the substance and thanks for the flavour
It's what you DO (with what you KNOW) that give RESULTS (in the long term).
Excellent points. It's all in how we look at our situation. Good reminder for me today. Thank you!
I like this post, and I like all the responces to it. Do we all know each other? Why does the responce form hide our email address? (kept private! never shared.) If we are all in this for the same reason (music) then why hide? I'll share whatever I have learned about this way of life with anyone who wants to know. What might be "old hat" to me might be cutting edge to someone else, and in return they might have just the info I am looking for, or might know somebody else who does. Here's me email address: gregparke@gregparke.com Ask me anything. If I don't know. I might know somebody who does.
-- Derek
If you click the name of any commenter, it goes to their website, where most people have a way to contact them. I just keep emails private since most people prefer that, but glad you are not letting that stop you.
Err... The story kind of validated the fact that it is who you know... Am I wrong? LOL! In this business (Music) It really is a true statement. But knowing the right people is not all that hard to do. But it takes a lot of work and effort to meet those people.
I find that too many musicians are either working too hard on the wrong things that will never get them anywhere in the business. They just don't work on anything all that hard or have not yet realized that if they have a life outside of this life as a musician, then they are not working as hard as a thousand other musicians shooting for the same goal as themselves.
Here is what I have learned and has helped me a lot. You have to stop thinking of yourself as only a artist. You now have become a record company and now you need to start taking the actions that they would. This means you will have to reach out as a businessman and sell your act, go to conferences, get in touch with advertising firms, etc. While doing this you will make many contacts. Make use of these contacts as undoubtedly they will introduce you to more.
I have always felt that nothing worth while comes without lots of work and sacrifice.
I really am glad I have got to cross paths with you Derek. Because it is nice to know that there is others out there that actually try and help others or "clean the stick" as you put it. Your knowledge is priceless as well. Thanks for bringing us all along on your journey.
You are a great inspiration bro
this works for the political world, as well. don't wait for someone else to fix the system. it is always possible to do something (or be someone) positive, useful and joyful.
Consider This, if you're somewhere being offered the unpleasant end of anything, you're in the wrong office, the wrong part of the business, and dealing with the wrong people, we have to stop thinking we're (musicians) the one's getting rolled over by industry snakes, be hungry, very hungry, hungry enough to see B--- S--- when its in front of you, try to remember this, you are already coming to the table with product, so that should tell you, the people you're dealing with need to put something on the table instead of asking you to put something else on the table, this is not to say, you should be arrogant, but you should, at all times believe in your product, at one time Tiny Tim was the highest paid performer in Los Vegas, now if Tiny Tim can be sold to the massive, what's so hard about your music! Look how great it is for us to have Derek looking out for Indie Music!! now there's a good person to know....
everything that seems depressing can be flipped to work in your favor.
clean the stick.
clean the stick.
stick to it.
clean the stick !
> everything that seems depressing can be flipped to work in your favor.
I believe that and it's within this that the treasure and adventure is realized.
Amen Brother! Every negative Seeks a positive to ballence it's momentum. Life is Energy, The amount of which is produced in our favor depends upon what we can project forth! Thank you for including and inspiring me on your site. This will i'm sure return to you:+}
Yea on this one big time... when I decided to go for my life's true path back in 2001.... I went across Australia to our big music festival... I knew one artist from my side of the world that was doing it good in the music world. I thought he might give me some pointers but didnt want to know me and totaly snobbed me like you wouldn't believe.... How impressed I was when ordinary people and artists I didn't know helped me on my way down on the street...Every year I go back the circle of helping people blossoms in small ways...I am still nowhere but am sort of somewhere. However when I make it I can look back and say not one person I knew got me there I found them all along the way. Look how far I have come I now know a wonderfull person called Derek never knew him before never thought I would. Its so nice to know the right people fall into our lives. Attitude - giving to recieve without expecting like Derek has just said creates the people you know.... Lifes about creating circles and its all about timing doing something to stand out in the crowd. Anyone that expects to gate crash a circle with no effort is dreaming and wanting the easy road. Derek leaped into a circle with a simple pizza...small things can do great things...
Always a motivator, always inspiring, and his own story an inspiration for all, Derek's messages are always timely for me personally. Judging from the comments, many people feel exactly the same. I have alot of gratitude that he gives of himself in this way, bringing us clarity of thought, and helping us to keep on keepin on...
Derek,
Thank you. My life in a nutshell.
A winner never doubts his or her success.
I can think of many sayings that relate... All Very Good!
Thanks,
Michael
DaPOW.com
I think there comes a time when you realize, too, that everybody is a "somebody"; you learn from them, you are supported by them, and someday...well, you never know where they may end up, and how "you knew them when...".
But starting out with a similar story to yours (only replace you from Illinois with a starry-eyed girl from Kansas), I decided to put myself in situations early-on in life where I had a better chance of knowing those "somebodies" - and most of the time, it truly worked in my favor. Having, like you did, something to offer makes you of value, and gets you noticed.
And you usually find out that all of those *somebodies* are pretty much like everbody else, too. Both sides of the coin are a good lesson.
Derek:
You have a talent for clear
and insightful communication that is very inspiring. I did exactly what you describe and started my own Television show and that has at least gotten my name and music out there to several thousands of people. And it is very good to hear this word you gave us today, because it is time for the next move to empower myself and be on the right end of the shtik.
Peace.
Shaul aka "Rabbi Rock"
it's another encouraging and inspiring article for me. once again, i wanna say thank you
Inspiring story!! When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!!!
One little good move can bring so much success.This is a big lesson to be learnt.
very nicely said. i was glad to get the end to find that you advocate cleaning the stick as well as flipping it!
Thanks Derek for reminding me of what i already know (or do I). The article reminded me of your presentation at SXSW which was equally moving and inspiring.
Keep it comin'
Awesome Article !
It reminds me of when I worked at FORD dealership as a New Car saleperson when this guy walked on to the lot and one of the veteran sales guys said "Look at that guy, he can't even afford the shoes he is wearing" he then turned to me and said "Don't waste your time" I decided to waste my time and talk to the guy. He ended up buying 3 F-350 FORD Pick-up trucks worth $57,000.00 each. One for him, one for his brother, and one for Dad. Oh and his shoes... He apologized that he just came from work and had to get this deal done !
The last part of advice about the stick is paramount. If you can help someone else have an easier walk on the road, why not move the downed tree limb?
Thanks for a great reminder. : )
Hey Derek. Do you like Fish Sticks?
BTW loved your rave on Indian TED about the streets in Japan and the alternative reality called "The Truth" - The truth sucks balls.
It's perception and our associations that run the show.
Keep pushing the edges mate.
I like the story, because a downer can always be a upper, Like when I was in school I was a C- student when it got to math, Now I help a professor with his website, helping students and People with their math, youtube/algebra2go rap
Derek: Interesting thoughts about "who you know".... This also reminded me about a lecture I attended when the speaker said.. "In marketing, it is NOT who you know.. It is "who knows you" that matters.
Wow, I just love this, it reminds me also of the write up I once did; "You don't know it all" Excellent Derek thanks for sharing
I see how one should jump to take advantage of a situation where you can get to know the right people, but having the right people in a situation where you can get to know them is still a challenge, especially with first impressions being a factor.
I don't think it's a two sided stick, but a none existing stick that you're waiting for. When you finally get it, you feel silly for worrying it would never come.
So I feel I must keep an attitude like my dog; happily anticipating a moment with positive reacting mind-set.
Anyone who was in the dust with their depressed outlook on "it's all who you know, and you don't know anyone" would never have thought to get the man a pizza. Always attempting a fresh look on life to the spontaneous future would be prudent in these situations.
thanks for your sharing mind, Derek.
Exactly.
Are you an INFP?
Definitely introvert. Not sure about the rest. -- Derek
Hey Derek,
-- Derek
You hungry?
Hi Derek!
Your advice is simply amazing! I am at a crossroads in my life deciding which way to go. I did take the step of quitting my job to get into the music business but all of a sudden am getting a bit disillusioned about the whole scenario in India. I understand that today its all about the DIY and yes, I AM READY TO FLIP THE STICK! But finding the exact people who would be ready to help is proving to be a difficulty. On one side trusting someone is a challenge, and on the other finding the right person who will give me the real lowdowns and guidance is also proving to be a challenge! But yes, I am ready to Flip the stick and make it work! Your words are always an inspiration!
Cheers
Anirudh
India is an interesting example. The corruption is horrible, yet some people find a way to use it to get things done that would ordinarily take longer. But yeah, it's mostly shitty and tough. -- Derek
yes, no body eat shit please, no dishing out please either, so easy.
Yeh, flipping the stick -- from an introvert to an extrovert (perhaps only at times).
I've had some incredible opportunities come by way just 'cause I was "out & about". Like having lunch with some friends on a weekday, hanging out, met some new friends, among them another musician -- and a few months later that same musician phoned me as he had a record climbing the charts, was putting together a band & wanted me to audition. Got the gig, too. My first professional tour.
I love your story of listening (once again, it has to do with "listening") and being aware that the BMI exec was hungry .. and from that you realized what was "needed and wanted", and so you supplied THAT, the thing that was needed & wanted: food. And you made a friend.
I have found that I never know what's going to come from meeting someone or going somewhere, doing something ... but the key is that one has to find out WHAT's needed and wanted ... and then do that. Like hunger if they're hungry, like an errand if they're swamped, like an ear if no one's listening to them. It's being involved in Life ... and in other People. Not just in oneself.
Extroversion. Not just being into oneself, but into others.
Perhaps, Derek, you're more of an extrovert than you realize, to all of our benefit.
Addendum: Oops.
Meant to say: "Like food if they're hungry...."
As usual, Derek, you find a positive side to encourage others. Thanks again.
A few years after I'd graduated from UConn and moved to New York City, I looked back and reflected that I could trace every single professional contact I'd made, every friend I'd found and gig I'd had directly or indirectly through my association with my college professor, Hale Smith. I had studied music copying and editing under his tutelage - skills that paid my bills for many years - as well as musicology analysis, arranging and composition. But even more critical than these techniques were the introductions Hale so generously offered, allowing me to meet his colleagues and friends in the music world, where he seemed to know everyone! Hale opened the door to my first job at E.B. Marks as a music librarian and apprentice music editor - which led to my next job at Belwin-Mills where I met Jack Perricone (who became Head of Songwriting Dept. at Berklee a couple decades ago). Hale brought me to Bob and Judy Haring at Aztec Music, which began a lifelong relationship with their fine papers and duplication services. And he introduced me to Charles Colin, which led to enduring friendships with countless wonderful musicians, composers, recording engineers, producers and singers. It IS who you know, and as your story points out, we can get to know some of "the right people" no matter where we come from!
This is an especially effective way to think about songwriting.
If I have a word play, for example, that I know is catchy but for some reason the whole song doesn't seem to be working, i'll often say to a co-writer 'OK let's flip it and see what happens'.
The girl leaves the guy instead of the other way round.Whatever.
A lot of times the simple willingness to flip your POV fixes, or begins to fix, whatever was bogging down the song, while leaving the strengths intact or improved.
Profound truths Derek!
I specially like ..."So instead of moaning about one end of it, take the other end."
and
"everything that seems depressing can be flipped to work in your favor".
Now I just have to meditate on this and apply.
Thanks.
I grew up believing a similar line, "it's not what you know it's who you know". I find it also depends on where I am, cultures effect my reactions too, but overall I'll be keeping this article close and using it to flip the switch as often as needed. Useful article, Thanks!
Every so often, a door opens.
Fantastic that you can continue making these inspirational stories for everyone to share.
I admire your positive approach to life.
Thank you!
I try to stay close to my heart and the art and hope everything else falls in place. Its not a good business model but its the way I go.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah! Been holding that stick for a while now...nearly became my walking stick! The stick is flipping, now I know folks and by God, they know of me too! I mean, even Derek knows me, what more do I want.
Time to flip the stick; all cleaned of course. Push on.
So.......it really is who you know then, isn't it? Only, we have to make it happen or it doesn't happen. I basically always knew that to be true.........the squeaky wheel gets the oil!
thanks for the artical.
Oh Derek.. You are so loyal to this biz and musicians. Positive thinking, strength, will power and bravery (go for the pizza!) and never say never. Everyone has an equal shot to reach his/her goals -focus on your skill sets and believe in yourself.
Thanks as always,
Anastasia
Manager - Louie Cruz Beltran
Sometimes you can't flip the stick without screwing somebody else over in the process. I think most of us (hopefully all of us) would agree that under those circumstances, we shouldn't do it.
But we may be able to make something on the end of the stick we have work to our advantage. It's just not always easy to figure out how to do that ...
Great anecdote Derek. Reminds me of a greate phrase from Viktor Frankl's book: Man's Search for Meaning.
'When you are not longer able to change the situation, you are forced to change yourself.'
You can be part of the game, or be a game changer
Derek, I just feel that you understand the real world of positives we omit which move us all into a balance forward. I have great faith and thank you for sharing such wisdom understood
Ciao, Nikki
There are 10 ways to skin a cat. Just try to think outside the box, ask questions, and somehow you end up closer to your goal than you thought you were.
KandaceLindsey com
John Demartini says every crisis yields a blessing. Thanks Derek - this reminds me of another great profundity of yours: NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY. GOYA. DIY.
Great move buying the pizza. Amazing what can happen when you make a habit of looking for opportunities to give value to people instead of just trying to get things from them.
I try to be mindful of that when someone needs my help. It may not always be convenient, but I think it's best for everyone in the long run when you look for and are grateful for the chances you have to do good for someone else.
It's also amazing what can happen when you get into the habit of working through your frustrations instead of giving up.
I imagine that there were an awful lot of frustrating obstacles between you and your goal of being able to sell CDs online in 1996.
Learning how to design websites was my biggest challenge when it came to dealing with frustrations and obstacles.
I found that once I started to have some successes it transformed the way that I dealt with frustration in every area of my life.
Suddenly the little things that used to stop me became insignificant.
I would just go through some logical processes and find an answer instead of being immature and giving in to the first signs of frustration.
For most of us I think just getting over our little childish emotional hangups allows up to open up all kinds of doors - and flip all kinds of sticks.
Hi-
Very true and good points Derek. For the longest time all the hoops an artist had to jump through would leave them with a "shitsickle" at best. Even with major artists all the middle men made the lion's share of the money and you pretty well spelled out what was left for the artist. It's cool that you along with others have been able to turn the trend more in favor of the indies...
Very Best Regards,
George
Good advice once again my friend. It's like knowing how to make lemonade out of lemons, you have to turn it around. What's the alternative? You just going to lie down in the street and cry until you get run over? Not me!
Thanks for this, I'm gradually learning how to be a musician and a band manager at the same time, and your blog helps a lot.
A new motto for those who don't know the right people... "It's not who you know, but who you introduce yourself to, and how you do it!"
Derek,
I read one of the comments here about someone being dropped from a major lable and thinking that it was all over. I had that experience. It took me years to realize that anything that could make me feel that bad for no good reason is something that I never needed in the first place. Don't get me wrong. It hurt. I mean it really hurt. The man who signed me to the lable got fired and I was out on Thursday after being told Wednesday that I was the man. Right here,right now I'm happy as a lark. I work my day gig,borrow money from the credit union,make my CD and no matter what it's my vision,my trip period with no bummer from unmusical people who should be selling cars as opposed to messing artists around.
This isn't just true for the music business, and it's never too late to to flip the stick! I'll be 63 this year, and in the last 3 years my health has closed most of the previous open doors in my life - I've flipped the stick and learnt to use the net. It's opening new doors (including this one!) and I'm blogging and finding a whole new world. I may not know 'influential' people, but I know a hell of a lot of people online who've completely transformed my life - thanks, kids! ;oD
I wish the Web had come along 30 years ago, when I was young and skinny, but it didn't. I don't complain about it much, I just work with what I have, write and perform my music, and stay grateful every day for the good things (and good times!)my talents have brought me. And digital distribution is one of those good things, making it possible to get my little tunes out all over the world. Ideas from folks like you are making it harder and harder for flimflam artists and corporate buttheads to rip off artists, Derek. Thanks!!!
Derek, great article, love the picture, made me larf, things are different now with the inernet, hands on recording etc.
I had a similar experience, when we were solar overdevelopment, and we realized the power companies had too much say. So what did I do? Start a power company!
http://www.solarpanelhosting.com
I figured out how to sell solar panels to people in Seattle...
We've got new state and federal legislation in progress now for community-based solar.
Derek, I always appreciate these tidbits from you. This one came at just the right time for me (6 a.m. unfortunately) and helps me keep my perspective positive. Thanks man.
In 2010 major distributors are still the same!
You noticed someone needed help and did something kind for them - getting the pizza. So, for you, pizza = music career!
Seriously, what this really shows is: Be kind during your interactions with others - you may be making one of those "...it's who you know" connections without even knowing it.
This seems perfectly timed. A few weeks ago I acted in a comedy film for a Thai TV network. I got the part because 4 years I met the director through a mutual friend, whom I'd met when I responded to an older post about looking for someone to edit some footage for her.
The film featured one of Thailand's top male stars so promotion was pretty strong in the short time they had between production and air.
Then suddenly as the movie was playing, breaking political news interrupted the film! The sound of collective crests falling could be heard throughout Bangkok as everyone who worked on the film stared jaw-dropped at the screen. I thought the big break I'd been waiting for all my life had been pulled out from under me.
The public, however was just as aghast and immediately sent pleas to the network to re-broadcast. The network agreed and put it in next Sunday's schedule.
In the market people told me they were watching the film and really liked it. I heard from the producers that the ratings were good and on web forums people were giving high marks. So perhaps what seemed like a tragic moment, when the film was suddenly pulled from the airwaves, will actually lead to a bigger audience as people tell their friends how much they enjoyed what they saw so far.
At least that's the hope, and in this business that is what you live on.
Flipstick cleaning is a great concept. Thanks
Great advice. It's right up there with "Don't you know who you're talking to?"
Which I used to answer with, "No, do you know who YOUR talking to?"
One time I met a customer in a retail store that I was managing in Upstate, NY.
A customer came in looking for some headphones.
After taking this very nice lady who was dressed in a pioneer jacket and was wearing big sunglasses when she came into the store, I proceeded to take her name and address for the receipt. (Yes, I was a Radio Shack Mgr.)
Anyway...
I said, "...and can I get your name and address for our sale records please?"
She said, "Twain, like Mark Twain."
I said, "T-w-a-i-n."
I looked up and this lady was extending her hand and said, "Hi, I'm Shania Twain, it's nice to meet you."
Because her first hit song was just beginning to hit the radio wave in the Adirondacks, I was clueless as to who she was.
I remembered that my brother kept asking me if I had met some singer who just bought a large property up on one of the upper lakes...so like a true genius I said, "Are you the up-and-coming Canadian singer that just moved here?"
She said, "Oh, is that who I am? Yes, I think so. I'm actually a songwriter."
I said, "Oh really, so am I."
So I after walking around the store for a second time, Shania decided to buy the best headphones with a 3-year warranty for replacement.
We talked for about 45 minutes and then she did something that I wasn't ready for...
After asking about my family and how I got into retail and if I am still playing and writing, she said, "So do you have a CD with you? I would like to hear your music."
I said, "Oh...well, I actually have a demo tape and I am working on producing a CD, but it's not done yet."
Shania said, "well that's fine, do you have a tape in your desk or something?"
I said, "Actually, I have the demo tape at home."
This nice lady scolded me saying, "Well Rob, I want you to do something from now on. If you are a songwriter, you should always have your music with you, so bring your tape in and keep it in your desk and in your car."
"I was interested to hear what you sound like...and now I just don't know how you sound."
I told her that I would bring it in and next time she comes in, I would give her a copy.
As fate would have it, I got promoted and moved to Johnstown, PA a few weeks later to run a big store.
Shania did not shop at my store before I left.
A couple of years later, I saw her flying around on some crane-like thing, singing at half-time at the Super Bowl.
I explained this to my wife, who doesn't really believe me...and most people do not believe me when I tell this story, but...
I always keep my CD's with me, in my van and in my desk.
If someone asks me for my CD I say, "Would you like one? I'll sign it for your, they're only 5 bucks!"
Well...it really happened...Shania Twain is really kind of a small-town, very nice Canadian gal who was very friendly, like a great neighbor.
...and I don't go anywhere without my CD's on me.
So when somebody says, "Don't you know who I am?" Find out who they are. They might be trying to offer help.
Don't be as stupid as I was.
I never talked to Shania again. Mutt Lange and Shania sold their home in the Adirondacks and I can't get past security online to drop her a note...and I probably never will...but I thank her for setting me straight ALWAYS HAVING MY MUSIC ON ME.
True story.
Rob Ambrosino
Singer-Songwriter
Yes,my wife and I talk about doing "things" for and with people to make contacts.How being "friends" is the best contact of all. It workd for me a long time ago, when I had nothing to offer and really loved being a part of the music biz in any shape or form.
Made alot of friends, Played harmonica in Bodiddlys band- Played harmonica and sang in a local band Bad Breaks-Played harmonica with Bodiddly Jr but he passed away, and so did Doctor Boo and Maurice-Played harmonica and toured in the Blue Ryder Trio,a very sucessful band on youtube and blues afectionatos got let down financally, bad bidness- My original music and original aproach to the blues, my blues,is just not catching on. Hell I have advance to the point where I am writing -recording-playing and produciong my own music, I customize my harmonicas and have the best amplifyers in the biz. Treat everyone fairly - pay my musicians and give lottsa people gigs. BUT the problem with being an artist/ musician is u need money. I guess what this rambling about my life is I did make quite a few "friends" by being friends. Just dont have the time or the money or the personality anymore. I dont take risks, on friendships anymore. There is so much to do at my level - with promotion and making friends AND meeting musicians, photo, video, tecks, I dont have time to go fishing or get fucked up, or even splerge on pizza. I know what I want, I work for that and sometimes think Im just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Once again, Derek makes me a believer.
Thanks for this article. It was nourishment for my motivation. As indie artists, we need to consider the prospect of "Flipping the Stick".
Hi Derek,
That was a great call you made,innovative and creative put you one step ahead and opportunity came knocking.Thankyou,i will learn from that.
Derek, as always, you're right on target! I've had some disastrous situations and was able to "flip it" to some good, or "dust my boots off" and try again.
Thanks!
Such a wonderful entry, it makes me realize that to live well I must be not only optimistic but also creative to make my own opportunity when there is none
great little story. always help someone who needs some food, or go the extra mile to help someone else who really needs it. they might turn out to be someone YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW.
Derek,
I just love reading your topics and the thoughts of all of these brilliant people including yourself. the comments I read are very beneficial, interesting and very encouraging.I too know many famous people but have to depend on myself to be successful.
I love all the new indie radio that are popping up. Great music...
Guy @ Fizer Music
Hey Derek, great post. I feel like I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life. I was thinking "It's all in who you know...(and I don't know anyone, but you)" and feel a bit daunted by that. I have to take your advice and flip that stick. My band is at the stage where we are ready to gig and have been attempting to (via Reverbnation) book some gigs and it just seems like nobody is responding. Really though what should I expect, I'm sure these places get tons and tons and tons of inquiries and we are a really small fish in an infinitesimally (sp?) large sea. I guess I'm just a little frustrated (I'm sure I'm no different then hundreds of thousands of other bands trying to make something of their passion). It's hard to break through that mental block that I seem to have that their is another side of the stick and I can turn it around ("Then clean it, so it's not shitty for anyone else again") and use it to my advantage. I just need to find a way to do that and in the end potentially book our first gig. Thanks for all of your advice, I always appreciate your blog posts and emails.
Excellent Derek
I love the story. It instantly flips my thought process to the infinite possibilities that exist rather than concentrating on how difficult it is to make a choice.
Derek
Appreaciate your insight. Any successful person can look back and see where they think thier break came. Many times it will be in an unexpected way. Everyone has something to bring to the table, and you never know what that is. Therefore if you treat everyone kindly with no expectations of your own, it might come back to help you in some way.Plus it is just the right thing to do. Hard work and talent may get you somewhere, knowing someone and luck will get you a bit farther along.
Thanks for sharing your story, it's very inspiring. You got put on just for caring for someone's hunger pains. I heard that its a plus in starting a good relationship with insiders within the music industry.
And whatever you think is holding you back, do it yourself. Instead of mouning do it yourself, cool advice. Instead of mouning I did it myself and started my own music publishing company.
Its not any easy task, and it's very tiresome, and I dont have lots of money, or lots of contacts yet, but it is a rewarding experience.
Right now I'm affiliated with an independent label, and have co-written 8 songs to be included on J-Funk's album (to be released this year), a new artist coming out of the UK. Doing it yourself can be a rewarding experience.
Wow! So Awesome! How beautiful your kind gesture leading to more. And sharing all this is the ultimate generous gesture! Thank you!
Good stuff as always Derek, thanks. However, I think it's interesting to note that your initial goal of becoming a famous musician was never achieved (for the most part) and that your notoriety was the result of another endeavor that was nonetheless related to the music business. You saw a door open and you walked through it, even if it didn't exactly resemble the door you once envisioned. I think many people(myself included at times) project their minds eye what that one door looks like to the extent that they miss other openings that may present themselves. Dogged adherence to our one "true vision" for ourselves can be a boon in teaching us the values of persistence, while also becoming a bane in that we don't learn to adapt a more flexible approach in accepting the malleability and unfixed nature of the rivers forward flow. Getting downstream (and hopefully enjoying the trip) is all that really matters.
Yes And!!! and then the other day i heard it flipped to , "its who knows you", and this came outa the Willie Nelson camp.... profound to contemplate its not who u know, but rather who knows You!!!! Viva!!! carpe diem!!!what atrue adventure this life is... who wants 2 make it safe when noone lives 4ever... tis the danger that brings the beauty... rc pirate
positive thought sure is a powerful thing. There only two ways to look at things after all. I believe Einstein said it, "There only two ways to look at things, As if there are no miracles or as if everything is a miracle."
@Rob Ambrosino - I believe you when you said that you met Shania Twain (by the way that's one of my grand-daughters name; my son named his daughter after her).
Dont ever give up hope, because you never know when an opportunity may arise again and you may get to meet Shania Twain again.
Always having our music on us, that is the best advice to give for any songwriter, artists, even music publishers. Thank you and Derek Sivers for sharing your stories with us and your sound advice.
Ruth aka RnBMistress
Another very insightful post, Derek--thanks!
You can have anything you want if you help enough other people get what they want!
There is a spiritual parallel to this. Romans 8:28 says "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Even the bad side of the stick holds blessings. God is in this kind of work, and we can be, too. Thanks, D.
The key I agree is to see a need in another person and offer to help them. Like in your case, you saw the need was greater than any one person. All indie musicians needed distribution help, so you set up a way to help them all. (You may not have started with a worldview, only focusing on helping your band or your friend’s band, but then your outlook expanded. That's a good natural progression.) Some won't accept the help. Some will. Hopefully those who do appreciate it will maybe make you a friend.
Just making contact with people is key. Doing that little something that will bring you out of the crowd into their recognition - into their consciousness - no matter how slight. That's why talking with people before or after your performance is so important. You show them that you are a real person. And more importantly, paying attention to them makes them feel like they are important people. But you can do this every day, even when you are not performing. Just talking with your neighbor at home can be important. Those little interactions mean so much to people in this age of our separation from people and non-involvement in life around us. I went to a garage sale and started talking with the owner about what all he was selling and we got to talking about selling items online and other places. That led to conversation, an invite into the house and an offer of a soda from the fridge. We even exchanged phone numbers. (He has even contacted me since then.) I think many people want to talk if given the chance. Most times all you have to do is smile and listen. They will remember you.
Oh, nice article. I remember you had a great interbiew with Andy Warner at Mixergy.com on you CD Baby work. That was very encouraging as well.
Good food for thought Derek
Proverbs 27:17
Derek,
Where should I have your pizzas sent?
Be well.
I have been guilty of imagining myself "networking" (sucking up) with people I don't really give two shits about to further my "career" as (insert creative arts description)...seems like "good business"...the thought makes me puke...but if one makes the effort to look, one can find people who they really like, admire or are curious about and approach them honestly, without pretense about the creative act itself or how they came to their involvement with it on a commercial level without selling one's soul to the devil...and possibly even gain insight.
Thank you for not omitting me when I have been negative on the surface often.
Understood, appreciated and true.
Growing up as an outlier Viet-Brat from West Texas with extreme passion for music, media & tech, I was told the same line.
Perhaps, in retrospect, truer is: "it's all who you CONNECT with..."
Seems much more graceful to me...
Once again-you've inspired greatly. This is great a life lesson for everyone!
Excellent article! It was John F. Kennedy, Walter Malone and Albert Einstein rolled into one.(Not to mention several Chinese and Greek proverbs.)
I saw Kennedy do one of the first presidential TV press conferences, during which, a reporter asked him about some problem. Kennedy replied, "That's not a 'Problem', that's a 'Situation'
Walter Malone(1866-1915)wrote a great poem entitled, "Opportunity"(you can get it on line)
And Albert Einstein said,"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."
The creation of the Internet has leveled the playing field for all Artists and Musicians. It is the greatest "Opportunity" in our lifetime. Keep up your great work!
very timely for me ...lots going on in my life and gives me a new perspective to think about *& to do something about ;)
like pat gardner said above...love your articles...a pleasure to read!
making music, marianne
And why I made sure I know you!
Thanks Derek... rock on
Great post! You can choose who you know. If you're able to "clean it, so it's not shitty for anyone else again" you'll know a lot more people.
Very inspirational. It goes very well with my favorite poem, "Don't Quit".
Like a bagel with a nice spot of tea.
Perfect! I have had several experiences when the stick was not in my favor, but as I took a step back and really tried to get over "it" I could see that something was at work in my favor. It just wasn't as obvious at first.
I've got a good story - not a music one - but this happened last year. . .
I have always wanted to live on a farm...okay "ex-New Yorker raises chickens" I am sure there are jokes to be had - but seriously - I love the outdoors and horses and every time I hit the road and go somewhere rural ( Australia really does it to me) I want to sell the on Music Row and move out. So two years ago I convinced my husband to move. We found a real nice country house, big enough ( we have 5 kids) and with 28 acres of rolling pasture. We went to contract but couldn't sell our house. The deal fell through. I went on the road again - back to Australia and we tried again the following year. But now the market was soft, so our price dropped $150,000!!! We decided to sell anyway. We sold our house and then found another farm property - 30 minutes outside of Nashville with 56 acres and a 2700 sq ft home. We also have a barn, three spring fed creeks, a cave and timber. We have 10 acres of hay etc...all this for $100,000 LESS than the other deal that fell through.
When that first deal fell through I was angry with God. I felt set up. Why would He get my hopes up only to dash them? So I let it go. I let it all go - but after we moved to this place it made sense. I would have never known how great this deal was had I not been so close to the first one.
I recently had a music deal presented to me out of the blue and then almost as quickly it vanished. I was about to throw the same old tantrum but I stopped and remembered this farm and how we got here.
So instead of cursing my own future I am anticipating something else coming down the pike.
Something I can't see right now.
For now I keep writing, I keep teaching and I seize opportunities as they present themselves....
keeping a positive, optimistic attitude always works in your favor.
Thank Derek - once again for helping folks stay positive and find their own path to success.
yes! Thanks Derek. Gotta live in a positive way. Flip it
Love it, Derek! Perspective can help you create suffering or opportunity - the choice is yours!
No way man!! I was just brainstorming last night with some new ideas and woke up really happy!! In the flow...I guess!!!!
Nice to be a part of this group of wonderful people!!
Rachel
I agree. I recently took a month or so to rethink my business strategy and came to this point. It can be a lot of work but you can turn it around and make it your own.
Thanks Derek
Absolutely one of you best blogs to date!
Great article. It reminds me of a quote I have shared with many-
"The man who says he can, and the man who says he can't, are both right!"
Why not look for a way to circumvent the negative - get around it and keep saying that you can! It's more productive to stay positive.
Hi Derek,
Great learning point. Thanks for sharing.
Truer words were never spoken. Derek, you and what you were able to accomplish serves as a guiding light for those who have the vision to see it in their minds.
keep on rockin brother.....
Love the story about the pizzas. Goes to show that when you really listen to what people want or need, and you provide it, you leave a lasting impression!!!
While I understand that people in positions of power and influence are important to a person looking to climb the ladder of success, I believe there is an illusion of lasting importance to this whole grand desire of fame. Even on a very small scale, I've seen how shallow these relationships tend to be and leave the individual feeling dumped when the next sensation comes along.
Personally, I really like the area where I live for its funky, college-town atmosphere where people listen to the music because it's good rather than because its a new sensation from mainstream society. As a matter of fact, there are bumper stickers here that say "keep Athens funky!" Love that. There's no pretense of self-importance, just raw talent and a desire to let other people hear their self-expression. You know, the basics of WHY we do what we do with our music. You should visit our little town sometime, Derek. I think you'd like it...from Athens to Nelsonville, it's all about the music.
PS...we're only about an hour from Jorma's Fur Peace Ranch!
Great story, D! You always know how to make a great and memorable point! Love you stories. Keep them coming. I'm thankful that you are a part of my journey. Be well, friend...drew
Great thinking. That's the shot in the arm I needed. Thanks
Derek knowledge is power, it always has been & will continue to be, how one applys it is the option you have of turning anything you believe in & desire, agreed upon or not to some, as you I have hands on experience that it does work!! BTW were they peperoni pizzas
?
Great story!
In spanish is called:
"Darle la vuelta a la tortilla"
(Flipping the omelet, we eat a lot of omelets :-D)
Derek, I have told my son and his friends at Berklee School of Music your story many times. Flipping the stick and turning things around is where it is at. That is just the reason I also created my Publishing Company at BMI (One Not Two Fourget is the way they registered it) mine is "1 Not 2 4get Publishing"
Further, "Those who are not watchful when should watchful be will never gain from God Prosperity". is a quotation from a school book I never forgot. I have turned every stone over the world over to fulfill my dream. I am not there but I am not ready to step down from the stage.
Thanks for your judicious advice. I always say, "Smart people learn from their mistakes but wise people learn from other's mistakes." Don't miss a beat, pay attention. The sticky wheel truly gets the grease.
A great Chinese proverb - Those who say it cannot be done should stand out of the way of those doing it. Hope this helps someone.
Your Friend in Music,
Lenny Paquette
So in this situation it's not what you know, it's not who you know, but it's what you know about who you know.
For every problem there is an opportunity. Most will use the problem as an excuse and stop there. Successful people see the problem as as challenge to overcome. Nothing is ever easy or perfect. Bring on the challenge.... er, I mean opportunity
yo music being derek,
1. i refuse the stick.
2. if i take the stick i put it in the ground of my little green garden, later i smoke the green & say, "that's some good shit".
3. i sue the person, who gave me the stick, for emotional & biz & smelling trauma.
by the way, www.communitylvmc.org
is getting ready to debut on april 16-17-18.
and the abc network/channel 6 became a cash sponsor for the lehigh valley music awards 12.
and gloria rescues 2 abused women last week, her & the cops. wiaipa.org
bright musical ways
ian bruce
570-818-4100
Derek, you certainly have a lot of raving fans in these comments, and I agree with them. We tend to focus on the doors that closed and concentrate on what could have been instead of thinking about what might be. It's about shifting points of view, changing the paradigm, and that gets to the core of innovation. Great post.
Absolutely.
Solve problems. Change your perspective. Help others.
Great post!
Just last night as I was doing my books and able to get all the detailed info I needed on 10 different CD's distributed by CD Baby, I was hit by how FANTASTIC CD Baby is, how effectively they have helped spread my music - move into digital distribution and enhanced my life as an artist IMMEASURABLY. (Or maybe it was looking at the accumulated numbers that did it for me! To hear the back story of how it came to be (which particularly hits home for someone who was part of the old school music bus world 35 years ago) is SO inspiring. You have had a powerful impact on so many. THANK YOU!!!
Derek, great post!
Comment #112 is awesome, BTW.
So true. Remember the original mp3.com in 1998? I was so excited to be able to distribute my band's music online. What a huge concept. Now there are so many ways for musicians and bands to grow and connect with their audiences. So that "who you know" person might just StumbleUpon your tunes, be a Friend of a Friend, or see your tweet.
Aw, that's a nice story. Thank you so much for sharing it :D
You just made my day. There a few sticks that need to be flipped and cleaned in my very neighborhood.
Thanks!
Since CD Baby cut back to 29 second sound clips, I find that my CD sales have slipped badly. People seldom buy CDs that they can't hear and short clips are hardly enough to get the feel for the song.
Good story and so true. Forethought and kindness always get positive results. Thanks, Derek.
Very inspiring and very wise. Caring for others - always a good policy. Treat people like human beings and everyone wins!
Ah, flipping the stick - I do that with clients all day long - I love your metaphor though, so if you don't mind, I'm going to borrow it!
I also think there was a key principle in your story about "It's all who you know." Because many of the other kids in that class "knew" that person - but didn't create a relationship with him.
You saw his need. Fulfilled it with charm and humor. You were of service without looking for WIIFM
And then maintained and deepened your relationship - not knowing where it would lead.
It's not just who you know - it's how you know them. It's the relationships you've created, maintained and deepened.
It's being of service.
talk is cheap,just walk the talk.thanks.do you know how many musicians that give up every day ,year .by thousands.thanks for your help ,just pick on me and take me to the next level in life,exposures is the ans.great chief innovator in electronics misic.see you annon.
It's always faith followed by action. Great advice Derek...always welcome and always enlightening!
If the path to where you want to go is full of trolls and brick walls, make your own path. Now, if only I would have learned that sooner :D .
You're always such an inspiration! Thanks, Derek, for the reminder to look for the glass which is half full.
Once again on point Derek! I believe that wholeheartedly.The bottom line is one just needs enough light to see what's already available through inner-vision and creativity. After all, one man's poison is another man's medicine. Its all how one will look at a situation and how quickly one can create a way into outcome.
I really liked this story as it gives you something to think about.
D Man!
The thing I love about reading your blog is that you make great points, which we should already know, but the fun of it is that you share real stories that keep us motivated, help us relate and help us remember your points when we share them later with our friends and family. Thanks for sharing, and keep em coming!
Johnny Austin!
Love it Derek.. Thanks!
Thanks so much for sharing all your great suggestions and thoughts for this crazy biz that we are in. I totally agree. Sometimes it is who you know, but, like this letter states : it's also how you treat the situation. That was an awesome move with the pizza. I love my audiences and try to be special to them all --- YOU NEVER KNOW WHO'S THERE..EVERYONE needs to remember that at ALL times, just simply CARE about the people that are clapping for you.I've met MANY influencial people by caring enough to speak
Pam Childs
It's all about who you know.
So be the kind of person people want to know.
over 30 years trying to establish a foothold in the music biz where I can make enough for food, clothing, shelter, and still not able to do it yet. I will never give up. Can anyone help a brother out? That's my flip, I rarely ask for help - maybe it's time to start asking for it.....
It's not who you know: it's who you can make money for and bring prestige to, for having the smarts to present you and your music to the world.
If you have a good sound and you can make money for Merge, you'll get on Merge.
If you have a sound that Sony knows how to make lots of money with, you'll get on Sony.
You should know this: people who bring the goods to the table recognize each other and don't sit at their desks, wishing.
Very inspirational! Thanks for sharing your story.
I guess this proves you just have to be on the look out and also have a little bit of luck.
Although, now I am living in Nowhere, Illinois thinking the same thing, I don't know any famous or "connected" people
Good work!
I just heard you share this story at SXSW. A great way to start off the conference. I'm extroverted anyway, and gab with anyone about most anything, so this was a nice inspiration and reminder to keep being myself. Met a lot of cool people and made some new friends. Thanks!
thanks Derek, good encouraging story
Bravo!!!
Derek, so true! We do not need to relegate ourselves to being victims. Instead, we can seize the day, and by doing so, "flip the stick!" Who one knows is only limited by one's willingness to step outside oneself and engage people whenever possible. You never know whom you will meet or what they may mean to your future!
Great post!
hey Derek, you always manage to hit the nail on the head. Abraham-Hicks talks about the two ends of the stick too. To me it's like the yin and yang, both a part of the whole, both containing part of the other, and where you place your focus is everything since they exist simultaneously.
I do like your attitude about being the change you want to see by cleaning the stick for the next guy. Thanks.
I am ALWAYS telling my children and my artists to FLIP~IT!
Kinda like turning a negative into a positive...it's just how you look at it and perceive it that counts in life...
I swear we are like best friends that went to different schools together...U ROCK!
Derek
Thank you..
It's folks like you that give people the encouragement to keep fighting!
Bless U!
Linda
My friends always said I cross the line...
"It's not who you know, it's who you blow..."
That's the Pessimist Point of View!
Anyway, I cross the line... It is a great article, and I believe it is a very achievable goal. I have a friend (Yes, at least one) that claims I know everyone, and if on the off chance I do not, He has another friend in California who knows the people I do not. Between us, the people we know must know everyone else. That is his theory.
Ever heard about "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon"... Google it...
Thanks Derek!!! You are Great!
Had two conversations about this today. In one, a friend and I were venting a bit about the politics of certain folk fest and actually getting to play a stage there. "It's all who you know..." definitely slipped out of our lips once or twice. That's fine though, 'cause you can get to know anyone. When you put in the work eventually you start to know the people you need to know, and in the end people are just people.
In the other conversation, my friend was talking about some of the people he does know... and how he's done his best never to tax those relationships with the weight of uncomfortable requests. Those people are his friends and he figures if the time comes when they can help him/ write him up/ book him/ etc... they'll do it.
Do the work, create opportunity, and most of all don't be a jerk. Before you know it you'll be a person people want to know.
Hmmm... good to ponder this. It's an eye-opener about the nature of real magic - turning the seemingly impossible into something entirely different. Thanks for the insight!
Derek, you know I always love reading and replying to these fearless letters of the heart that you freely offer to everyone you know, and each time I respond to the inspiration that I find in a new area of my soul with each of your letters I reply directly to you alone.
The AMAZING way this letter has touched my heart with what is going on in my life at this moment I hope that you don't mind if this time I reply to you, but also to all of the other beautiful souls that both read your letters alone as well as those choose to read & reply to them.
My desire to do so is to because of the depth of the reality in the point you are making. What I am compelled to share is confirming what you've just shared with all of us but in the strangest of ways.
I know we all have heard that saying "it's all about who you know" and as I read through your letter your ACTIONS proved that this
doesn't have to be true.
The contrast I found after reading this brings me to my point. My entire life I too have wanted & dream all day everyday of becoming a successful musician.
What is amazing & beautiful to me is that I am a extovert who was born in raised in Hollywood and I know "all" those people whom "they" say we are supposed to know to get you where you want to go in this convoluted industry of self expression through the the use sound.
That said I am no closer to my dreams today with all of the "fancy" people that I know as a result being an extrovert from Hollywood than I would be if I was born in Antarctica.
Proving your point exactly from the "polar opposite" : )
If anything living here, knowing whoever has only made me depressed and overly self critical. Also confirming your point that it it is our choices and actions alone that get every human to where he or she, is or isn't going!
It is so much eaiser to be the play the victim and wallow in our own individual insecurities, which of coarse we all have inside of us. And in doing so focus & invest expansive ammounts of energy on what we are "missing" in life, than it is to "stand tall" in the reality of each of our own and equally allotted divinity that rests inside every human being.
There is no way to seperate one from their own divinity except by willfully choosing to do so yourself.
These false truths that this life is filled with have made choosing to deny ouselves of the limitless ability & potential that we all share equally SEEM to be our only option.
When the TRUTH is if we all spent only half of the ammount of energy that we do in self-loathing on embracing the divinity within every person fear would vanish, and we would be collectivly living our dreams.
And as your life has proved what truly matters are the choices we make and the actions we take. In the end our energy is spent on one choice or the other.
The beauty in that fact is that it is up to each of us to choose for yourself how your story ends.
Thank you Derek for helping me to remember that life ALWAYS gives each of us a choice!
Derek, I love your story. But, I have a hunch you didn't order pizza to impress the BMI honcho so that in the future he'd land you a job at Warner's. I bet you ordered pizza as an act of kindness. You saw a need, and you met it. Not only his, but the entire class's. You built a bridge of abundance. I bet you weren't thinking you were grasping the shit end of the stick. I bet you were acting from your core values, and demonstrated the kind of character to which others want to be connected.
Grasping the shit-end of the stick can be another way of saying to "bloom where you're planted" realize that shit is fertilizer allowing you to grow more abundant and colorful blooms.
It's all who you know huh...and now we know YOU!
Inspired yet again. I have one of those fingers crossed stories brewing, I was upset by the amount of young men being killed and wounded in Afghanistan, and made a cd to raise some money for a charity Help For Heroes. I sang some of the old songs at a Legion Club (Vets Club) and a few days later was approached by a national magazine with a readership of 370,000+ who are carrying an article of my music later this summer. Although this will help me. I am hoping it will raise a lot of money for "Help For Heroes" I still do not know the Veteran who put my name forward, he never approached me, and I do not know his story. but I thank him from the bottom of my heart.The CD is being launched today on cdbaby entitled "Old Songs For Young Hero's" by my band "The Cutlers Of Cornwall" Thanks for the article, and thanks once more for CDbaby.
Salut Derek, C'était super- intéressant d'avoir lu cette histoire. Merci
I love your attitude, and I share it. We have so much more power in our shaping own lives (and the world around us) than we ever understand. Thank you.
Doesn't anyone use the word "poop" anymore? (lol) Derek once again you hit the nail on the head. The old saying, "necessity is the Mother of invention" still holds true today. *Be safe in your coming travels and by chance if you're in Milwaukee this summer please let me know -there's a place that serves up a great slice a pizza here...my treat!
Many are just waiting and waiting for the clean end. They do not have the power of imagination how to flip the stick. What about them?
-- Derek
We all forget it's possible, sometimes. That's why I wrote this as a reminder to myself and others.
Glad you are sorting everyone's sh*t for them by helping them help themselves
It isn't who you KNOW, it's who you ARE...
If you hadn't taken the time to be considerate of someone else's needs, this would've never happened. When you are willing to care about someone else instead of just thinking about what they can do for you, great things will happen.
I guess it can be who you know-when you know YOURSELF!
good one! changing negativitity to posiitivity, always a good thing.
thanks!
I tell people, "It's all who you don't know." The people I don't know are who I want to know. Most of the people I know have either helped me out once or twice with my musical career, and may continue to do so, or haven't/don't know how to/just don't.
Hence my tattoos.
Such a great blog as usual....always inspiring and thought provoking, and at the same time terrifying.
Thank you again Derek!
Good lesson and a cute story. That was a smart, sympathetic kid.
First of all, unbelievable story! That's a creative entrepreneurial move right there! "It's all who you know," is such an important part of an entrepreneurs journey. You really talked about it perfectly.
First time I've stumbled upon this blog and glad it was on this post.
Great stuff Derek. I agree, now is the time more than ever to fix broken systems. Thanks for the thoughts.
in the hell of our daily problem we forget sometime who we are. It can take long before knowing your self before the one can succeed. take Susan Boyle. Have you seen the faces of the jury when she appears on stage first.
Hi Derek,
Great stuff!
Thanks for the info
Regards
Fred May
CEO
www.intuitworldwide.com
I think it`s very inspiring. And maybe they should change the saying into it`s who you can meet also.
Very true. Network, network, network.
its wonderful trick. Now we can convert dead-end of depression in to freeway..
Music education beta testers needed.Feel free to help building a great service:
http://chromatikmusic.com/blog/
Thanks, Derek.
Love this! That's what it's all about, recognising and acknowledging your power and not being limited by the made up rules of cowards who are afraid to share wealth and knowledge.
Keep It RYL.
This is a wonderful post. It has made an immediate and positive impact on me in both business and personal worlds. Beautiful!
Thanks for the article. I plan to look up the radio station in Alaska.
That story reminds me of situations in my past that I just laugh at now. One situation helped me remember stop being afraid. I meet one gentleman that worked with a video company. This company did all of LaFace's (now disolve as an Independent label under Arista) records videos. Well, Cassandra Mills, a VP at a major label, had the company to do a video for an artist. She allowed me to leave my project with her. I would not have meet her if I had not dated that guy. Another incident happen by talking to a guy about managing me during the 90s. He referred me to this company that had a list of top managers in several states. I got the list and called Tom Jones' manager. Some kind of way I got the secretary for a VP at RCA records. She asked me if I wanted an appointment with him. Even though none of these chances went further at least I meet people who knew people.
Matter a fact I meet my Congo player, who is great, through a paino player. I meet Anthony who did a lot of marketing for me that got me into places I would not have been without his help. Anthony saw my ad in musician magazine. We are know co-writers of several songs. We can meet people if we just step to the plate as Derek did.
Wow! I can't tell you how much we needed to hear that today. SERIOUSLY!! We are at a big cross road in our lives/career, and we are scared to death, but still excited. We are ready to flip the stick and see what the other end smells like! LOL! I appreciate what you do for artists, and for reminding me that life is a perspective. It is what you want to see.
Exactly!
The story is nice, but HUGE extra thanks for links to the bank, radio station and start-up lessons! I had not heard of any of them but they're all now bookmarked. Anytime you include little leads like that the usefulness of your posts goes way up - usually things I (and perhaps others) have not come across.
You have such a way w words and thought pictures. How's Europe?
Thanks Derek. So true. It is good for all of us to turn negatives around and make them positive! I wanted to see some of my favorite local indies become more noticed, so I started my Bluebird Promotions biz. Now, as The Tipping Point suggests, I continue to work on becoming even more of a connector, maven, and saleswoman!
Don't know how you do it, Derek, but you always make me feel like I've learned something. Thank you.
Great article! People making web series today are in this same "do it yourself" category. My friends and I wanted to make a zombie movie so we put together a zombie horror web series called "Universal Dead". We have over 15,000 views so far!